
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A brunnette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21." A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21". Suddenly, the brunnette hears a train whistle and jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The Brunnette goes back to jumping from rail to rail , counting "22" "22" "22".
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH: 1. He went into his father's business 2. He lived at home until the age of 33 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH: 1. He never got married 2. He never held a steady job 3. His last request was a drink THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN: 1.His first name was Jesus 2.He was always in trouble with the law 3.His mother did not know who his father was THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN: 1. He talked with his hands 2. He had wine with every meal 3. He worked in the building trades THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK: 1. He called everybody brother 2. He had no permanent address 3. Nobody would hire him THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN: 1. He never cut his hair 2. He walked around barefoot 3. He invented a new religion THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A REDNECK: 1. He was always talking to sleazy women 2. He was always hanging around his buddies telling fish stories 3. Everybody crucified him