Even More Band Jokes



*What is the difference between a saxophonist and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.



*Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.

*How do you save a trombonist from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.

*If lost in the woods, who do you ask for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
The out-of-tune tenor sax player. The other two indicate that you're hallucinating.



*What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.

*How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.

*What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.



*How can you tell if you have a trumpet player at your door?
The door bell shrieks.

Flag Corps Hit Point System
Other Flag= 0
Flute= 10
Clarinet= 10
Saxophone= 15
Trumpet= 20
Trombone= 25
Baritone= 35
Sousaphone= 50
Drumline= 55
Drum Major= 65
Band Director= RUN!!!!!!!

*Whats the range of a tuba?
20 yards, if you have a good arm.



A young freshman boy was very upset one day at band practice. The drum major, who was a senior, asked what was wrong. The boy replied, "Everyone can march, slide march, high step, and do grouchos but me. I just can't do it!" The drum major looked at the boy and said, "Why do you think they made me drum major?"


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