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worldFor those interested in world domination...world

           Are you restless? Can't sleep at night? Tired of sitting back and watching other people run the world? Think you could do a better job? Are you sometimes overwhelmed by the enormity of the task at hand? We can help. If you have an overpowering obsession with world domination, you may be eligible for a special program tentatively scheduled to begin in early April, designed to satisfy those annoying cravings for absolute power. If you're not convinced, let the words of one of our previous participants speak for themselves:

           Before: "Ever since the monkeys stole my toaster and foiled my sinister plot, I've felt this horrible emptiness inside... I don't know what to do. I need a way out."
           After: "Wow, your program was amazing! I can carry my gun in public now without having to worry about my index finger spasming! What a relief!"

           As you can see, this program really works! For more information, take over any major radio station in the continental U.S. to broadcast your request. Please include name, modified name for world leadership, and secret hideout address. $42 shipping and handling will be collected upon delivery.


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