Survey Results
I bet you didn't even know I was doing a survey. Too bad you missed it.
"What would you do with a random lower torso?"
Here are some of our favorite responses...
- "Search it for a wallet and then feed it to the cat."
- "Sell it on eBay."
- "Sleep with it... In a cuddly stuffed-animal sort of way."
- "I would probably stare at it, give it a poke or two, and walk away."
- "Make a casserole. Or call the police."
- "Strap it to the passenger seat of my car. I might take it to the formal too."
- "Report it to the proper authorities."
- "Give it to someone else so the authorities wouldn't have any problem with me for having it."
- "Raven food."
- "Use it as a pillow."
- "Walk around?"
- "Run away."
- "Put it in a trash bag and give it to the proper authorities."
- "Tie it to a llama."
- "Make a portable computer out of it."
- "Run it up a flagpole and let birds eat it."
- "Feed it to a dog."
- "Sell it for its organs."
- "Burn it."
- "Put it under my bed."
- "Put it on a leash and drag it along like a doggy."
- "Depends on whose it is."
- "Stick it to the ceiling."
- "I would definitely have to leave it somewhere random for someone to find--a locker, or a teacher's closet? I might hang it in my room a while first though."
- "Clone it."
- "Hang it up as a trophy."
- "Walk around some, then kick it and walk away."
- "Tie it to the hood of my car."
- "Attach random appendages to make it serve appetizers."
- "Hang it up on the wall."
- "But I don't want one."
- "Give it away as a sick experiment to observe what other people would do with it."
- "Paint it." (like putting paint on it, not painting a picture of it)
- "Give it to my cat."
- "Exchange it for an orderly upper torso."
- "Use it to scare my little brother."
- "Scream."
- "I would hide it in my brother's bed and random other places where he'd be, and he'd scream and then I'd run in and say, 'Oh, that's mine.'"
- "Donate it to science."
- "Take it to Siberia and crawl into it for insulation."
- "Stick it on Dawson's Creek and make Katie Holmes go out with it."
- "Teach it Swahili."
- "Build a person."
- "Put some pants on it."
- "Sell it to a biomed school."
- "Use it to open the Anourach room in the New Orleans Hilton."
- "Eat it."
- "Hang it from a tree."
- "Put it in a very large plastic bag and put it in my closet."
- "Tie it to the light post."
- "Cut it in half for a magic trick."
- "Make a lamp out of it."
- "Throw it on the highway and leave."
- "Stick knives in it. Then put it on my lawn."
- "Paint it gaudy colors?"
- "Stare at it and keep walking."
- "Marry it to Steve."
- "Try to bring it to religious enlightenment."
- "Beat innocent little binks over the head with it, holding it by a nonexistent arm or leg."
- "Kick it like a football."
- "Search it for a wallet and then feed the torso to my pets."
- "Randomly gyrate it, as in 'the twist.'"
- "Eek! Do you mean random lower torso involving other non-human species? I think I wouldn't fit in. :)"
- "Go away."
- "Okay, I'd probably punch it 'till it was bruised and then punch it some more."
- "Did you find it in the street?"
"I didn't find it, you did."
"Well, if I found it in the street, I wouldn't touch it! Who knows where it's been?!"
"Well, say it was perfectly clean and everything. What if it were in your house?"
"Then I would ask it, 'How did you get here?'"
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