12-1-00
i am so sick of all this election bullshit. i am embarrassed to be part of this country right now. i mean, this whole big deal about the vote recounts is just irritating me to no end. personally, i'm rooting for either nader or gore. the thought of george w. bush in the oval office makes me sick. arg, politics.
on a slight digression, i hate when people are pissy for no reason. like they just woke up with something up their ass. grr. don't take your bad day out on me.
11-23-00
somebody EGGED my FUCKING HOUSE. there's egg all over our garage doors and shit, and they knocked down some of our christmas lights my dad and i put up too. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKERS. we didn't see who it was. i hope i find out who it was so i can beat the shit out of them. grrr. why can't some people just DIE AT BIRTH?!*frowny mad face*
later:
ok, i've calmed down. man, my temper is waaay too short. i'm sure it was just a random thing. but it still makes me mad.
10-4-00
what the fuck is wrong with people who feel they have to constantly remind me that smoking is bad for me? yeah, like i'm such a dumbfuck i don't know that smoking can kill you or seriously impair your health. i think everyone who lights that first cigarette and takes their first drag knows that it can kill them. and if they don't, they should be shot. repeatedly. but back to the people. you know, those annoying earthy tree-hugging nature-humping type people. it's fine to be all into healing the enviroment and such, but please, give me a fucking break. let me suck on my nicotine and slowly kill myself in peace. may they all get malignant lung cancer from my second-hand smoke.
9-29-00
ok, it's not that i'm some feminazi man hater who spits upon all male existance, but guys really piss me off sometimes. most of them are just imature morons who don't know how to treat a girl. i know i don't seem like it, with all the vulgar sailor talk and such, but i'm an extremely feminine person. not annoying girlie, just feminine. i like to be taken out, i like to have doors opened for me, i like guys to pay for the date unless i offer (as in, i ask him out). i know most high school guys haven't reached that mentality yet, but dammit! can't i just have one guy treat me with a little decency? granted, jason treats me well (now), but i was just sitting and thinking about all the losers i've gone out with in the past that have treated me like total shit. i don't ask for much. maybe i'm just guilty of babying people too much. grr.
9-23-00
last night was one of the shittiest times i've had in months. first the movie i want to see, the exorcist, is sold out. so i buy a ticket to the 2nd urban legends movie, and then they won't let me in the fucking theatre because i don't have an i.d.! if they let you buy the fucking ticket, you should be able to get into the theatre without being hassled. i understand they're just doing their jobs, but damn! so i get my money back and come home without seeing anything. on top of that, i was already annoyed because my friend's dumbass boyfriend was there and he was irritating the bloody hell out of me. grrr...
you know what else pisses me off? deadbeats on gothic auctions. prepare to pay when you bid or don't bid at all! fuckwads...
9-7-00
ugh. i hate being jealous. i HATE it.
later:
goddammit!!! dead links, dead links, everywhere! i swear, for the love of god, if your link/webring/clique doesn't work anymore, DISPOSE OF IT!!
9-4-00
grrrrrrrr!!!! i can not STAND stoners!! they have got to be the most annoying, uninteresting people on this spinning ball of dirt! i personally don't do this, but i don't mind if someone smokes the occasional joint. but 20 bowls every damn weekend is just too much! these people have no life! ok, i know this guy. i'm not using names because i still love him, but this is just too much to not end up on the bitch page. this guy, we'll call him jay, was one of the nicest, caring, most interesting people i knew. he had real character to him, a uniqueness that you couldn't mistake. now he is cold, boring, and acts superior to everyone except his stoner friends (or at least that's how it seems). now, i'm not blaming this all on the drugs, but i think it makes a hefty contribution. i keep trying to tell him it's gonna fuck him up in the long run, but he doesn't listen. he apparently doesn't think he needs his short term memory. what the fuck is up with people like this? wake up, go to your friends house, smoke a shitload of weed, come home, call people up while stoned, and brag about how fucked up you got. these people make me sick. *pant pant* man, i better stop before i give myself an ulcer or something...
later (and a little more calm):
i hate it when people accuse me of change. not change in a drastic, bad way, but something little and petty, like me not dressing the same or listening to the same type of music as i did a year ago. i'm growing up, going through high school, of course i'm subject to change! i'm not going to remain static my whole damn life. hell, i'm in NEED of some change! grrr, people piss me off...
8-25-00
you know what i hate? when people spell things wrong on purpose. "u, y, yr, h8, sk8, kant, gothik" ect ect. it's not "kewl"! it's annoying! for the love of god, stop it!
8-23-00
"look, if you are sick of the gothic look, then quit calling yourself a damn goth! bathe in glitter, shoot stars out your ass all day long but get the hell out of my subculture, you're giving me a headache."
-from the "goth sucks" page
yeah, i like the occasional glitter and pink on my body, i just found this funny. and a bit true.
8-21-00
there's nothing i hate more on this earth than when people are treated badly. i know i deserve someone who's going to treat me well, but there's so few of those people out there. isn't there someone out there who's not scary and obsessive and mean?!
i also hate it when people think i'm superficial because i wear make-up, high heels, ect. i like to look good for myself, ok?! not anyone else. ooooh, excuse me "grrrls", i may not be the epitome of a feminist, but on the inside i have some of the same beliefs as those girls in no make-up and not-so-feminine clothes. isn't it what's on the inside that counts? now get a life and stop bitching before i claw your eyes out with my acrylic nails.
8-14-00
why do people make fun of people behind their back? they should at least have balls to do it to my face. dickwads.
8-13-00
why are people so fucking over dramatic? and why do some people enjoy being depressive and mopey? is it the cool thing to do? do they want attention? should they be slapped? yes! i hate it when people get so upset over every little thing, and think their life is so terrible just because they can't go somewhere or they don't look good in a yellow hat ("brain candy" reference! yay!). i'd hate to see what happens to these people when they start having real problems. there's this guy, we'll call him jim. jim is mopey and whiny because he wants attention, threatens suicide for attention, that kind of thing. jim wants pity, basically. he freaks out over every little problem, very trivial stuff. he asked me once why i don't commit suicide because i have problems. the answer i gave is very simple. i have a very severe disorder, possibly schizophrenia or psychotic manic depression by what they tell me. but i don't want to die. and i don't want pity. i know there is nothing i can do to change the way i am, and i have learned to accept it. all i can do is take my medicine and try to make the best of what i have. i LIKE being happy, dammit! that might not be considered "cool" among some of these people like jim, but i really don't give a shit. and one day, when jim runs into some real problems, he's gonna be fucked. *insert big perky cheesy smile here*
8-12-00
how can you base your entire existence on your love/crush on someone? to me it seems like such a weak thing. i don't really think obsession over someone you know is healthy. i had this for a while, and still do to a certain extent, but i hate it. i hate the feeling of worshipping someone who doesn't worship you back. there should be equal worshipping going on. :) i don't know, this angers me. pointless rant over.
8-1-00
ugh! everywhere i go on the internet, there's something about kittie! i hate that damn band! i bought their c.d. because i heard they played metal, and chicks playing metal is something hard to find these days. i take it home and listen to it. it's angsty whiny bullshit. i mean, "the knife is on the table, i put myself to sleep"? it makes me want to throw up my spleen. i can stomach "brackish" and "raven", and maybe "spit" on a good day, but other than that i'm selling my c.d. i respect what they're doing, the whole young woman in metal thing, but...no. there are so many more great girl bands out there people! L7 is one of my favorites, along with 7 year bitch, jack off jill, drain s.t.h and the lunachicks. it doesn't have to be mainstream to be good!
*later that day*
arrgg!! ebay is an evil clan of pigshits!! they must die! i rarely go on ebay, as i'm partial to gothic auctions (a site that DOESN'T charge you to sell your items, by the way), but i logged on just to look around. since i'm a bit obsessive over squirtle from pokemon (sad, i know), i typed that in. besides finding a squirtle room greeter for a dollar, there i found what i had been looking for for ages: a plush squirtle backpack. i had to have this. it was only $12.50. so i try to register so i can bid, and you have to have a credit card number! what the fuck is that about?! you have to be 18 or over to register, they say. i say they are a bunch of bloody fuckwads. i mean, i kind of understand about the whole 18 or over thing, i suppose they are trying to reduce the lot of underage kids deadbeat bidding, but shit! you HAVE to have a credit card? plus, if you want to sell anything on ebay, you have to pay first. ridiculous? i think so.
and while we're on the subject of things costing too much, why is everything expensive? vinyl opera gloves for $32? i understand that they're vinyl, but damn! being a collector, i wanted a hardcover spiral notebook with the misfits crimson ghost logo on the front. 8 freakin bucks! damn hot topic and their stupid vulturistic (is that a word?) overpricing. i can get stuff for way better quality through mail order. so there.
7-29-00
my first bitch is about something that has been pissing me off for months now. the psychiatric medical proffesion. ok, so my dad quit his job, and he was out of work for a few months. i would say about 3 or 4. he has a good job now, but for those months that he was out of work, due to insurance crap, i couldn't go to my therapist or my psychiatrist. no biggie really, except for the fact that my medication quickly ran out and i couldn't get anymore. not a good thing. because of this i had nasty withdrawels and a very bad temper in general. since at the time we didn't have insurance for those doctors or any doctors in general, i couldn't afford to get my goddamn meds. why the fuck do they charge so much? all they do is sit there and talk to you, jot some stuff down in a little notebook, and write you out a prescription. what do they need all those hundreds of dollars for? legal pads?! i just don't understand it. and since i'm on this subject, i'd like to send a little fuck you out to my new psychiatrist. i hope she dies horribley. :)