It's , do you know where your monkeys are?

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Great Figures in Animal History

PECKY-- THE FIRST CHICKEN TO CROSS A ROAD

Pecky was hatched March 9, 1947 at the historic Jackson Lee Johnson Horowitz Smith Plantation near Cone View, South Carolina.  He was the thirty-fifth son of Moxy and Bert. A twelve pound roaster, Pecky enjoyed crowing and strutting, and was known locally as quite the hen's man.  On July, 23 1949 at one o'clock in the afternoon, Pecky made animal history by crossing County Road 8 three miles west of Cone View.    

Animal History Quiz

Big Fat Joeycat gently reminds us

YOU KNOW YOU'RE WAY TOO SILLY WHEN 

1- you call a Duke long distance and ask if he'll watch your dogs

2- you drive your girlfriend around the block and tell her you're Magellan 

3- you try to bribe a G-Man with cents-off coupons

4- you write the mayor demanding a day to honor your pet duck

5- you play the Tarzan yell backward hoping nuisance animals will leave your property

6- you dial 911 and try to sell the dispatcher magazines

7- you brag to strangers that you're Ronald McDonald's cousin

8- you go to a bank and request a cash advance on your library card

9- you dig a hole in your backyard, fill it with Jell-O and tell people you've hit flubber

10- you run for Congress but refuse to wear anything but a bathing suit and flip-flops

E-MAIL to Big Fat Joeycat

Joeycat-

How the hell did you get so fat?

Your pal, Chuckles the lab rat (ratboy26@metalcage.com)

Well, the short answer is in a former life I was a full service grocery store.  By the way Chuckles when you're done experimenting stop by. -BFJC

Joeycat-

You're pretty damn fat.  How'd you get that way?

Your pal, Bruno the chipmunk (puffnstuff@hollowlog.net)

Well, the short answer is in a former life I was a moon of Jupiter.  When your jowls get fully extended join Chuckles at my place. -BFJC

Joeycat-

You are a very fat cat.  Are you so fat you affect the tide?

Your pal, Darnell the prairie dog (poohdawg@dirtycity.com)

Perhaps, but only on Jupiter.  Hey Darnell, let's make it a foursome. -BFJC

Got food (for thought)?  Write joeycat@geocities.com

Big Fat Joeycat's

STREAM OF SEMI-UNCONSCIOUS KITTY MUSINGS

I love greasy stuff.

Poodle meat, I bet that's greasy.

The last squirrel I ate I puked on the rug.

It hurt to stare at the sun this morning.

Why does everything smell like me?

I need a kidney transplant, right to my food bowl.

If you lick yourself too much you don't get remnants.

The dog said he needed to find himself.

I can understand that, but doesn't he get dizzy chasing his tail?

Big Fat Joeycat reveals

THE TOP 12 REASONS THE BIG FAT NEIGHBOR LADY KNOWS SHE'S SPECIAL

1- She knows she's special because her tires go 'round and 'round.

2- She knows she's special because she loves a parade.

3- She knows she's special because she flees fire.

4- She knows she's special because she's seen her share of Sundays.

5- She knows she's special because Mama sang tenor.

6- She knows she's special because she's named after a crayon.

7- She knows she's special because she Super Sizes.

8- She knows she's special because- two words- Postal Customer.

9- She knows she's special because her bird has a beak.

10- She knows she's special because she's got spoons.

11- She know's she's special because her dollars are green.

12- She know's she's special because her children chew.

Big Fat Joeycat educates city folks with

THE FAVORITE 8 NAMES FOR FARM GALS

Cucumbra

Butterella

Plowessa

Mater Beth

Seedifer

Barnisa

Celerina 

Goatina Deluxe

Big Fat Joeycat finds religion with

THE COP'S PRAYER

Our hot one, which art in the rack, glazed be thy name.

Thy kreminess come.  Thy krispyness done, in the store

as it will be in the squad car.  Give us this day our

daily dozen.  And forgive us our fat asses, as we forgive 

those who hold our fat asses against us.  And lead

us not into convenience stores, but deliver us from

joy cakes.  For thine is the original, and the freshest,

and the greasiest, for ever and ever.  Amen 

Ask not what what your country can do for you,  ask who the hell wants two chickens in their pot.

Updated 3/25/01

 © 2001 Big Fat Joeycat