Greek Smut: Epmetheus and Admonis
Title: Greek Smut: Epmetheus and Admonis (1/?)
Author:Bosie
Date: May 2000
Rating: S-PG-13 (for now)
Archive: I'd love to be archived anywhere anyone
wants me, though this isn't really a fandom
Summary: A young Greek shepherd meets an older man
whom he hopes will give him some really great sex.
Disclaimer:This is in no way historically accurate,
and was just me making fun of the whole Classics
thing. So, expect nothing great. It's done in foopsy
style.
Pairing: other/other
Author's Notes: This will be ongoing. Like a set of
Aesops fables. Each story will have a moral to it.
Feedback:I'd love some feedback! I adore it! Evenif
you hate it, tell me! Beacause I was probably thinking
the same thing!
#^##^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^#^
Greek Smut: Tales of Sex for Small Children
I. Epmetheus and Admonis
Epmetheus was standing in the purple gold fields of
the windy Iscean plains as the North wind Zephyr
tousled his twice-gilded curls and stroked his
sun-kissed body. His white tunic ruffled in the wind
as he gazed at the cloud-like sheep bounding through
the tall grass that bent low and touched their fuzzy
foreheads.
Epmetheus watched their sheepy rears bouncing from
side to side and longingly looked upon their sheepy
little feet and their sheepy little faces. Epmetheus
went upon all fours and bounded after one particularly
divine sheep. He had difficult catching his breath as
the handsome creature turned and looked him in the
eyes. Long moments they spent regarding one another.
“Oh sheep…I am not worthy of your beauty.” Whispered
Epmetheus softly. The sheep chortled and fluttered its
black lashes and twitched its little black nose
demurely looking away. “Did I see thee blush my
sheep?” asked Epmetheus playfully. The sheep turned
and bounded away. “Ha hah then my beauty! The chase is
on! With that Epmetheus gave chase.
He pursued it down the hill and into a valley green
with grass and pink with blossoms. The fair maidens by
the river’s side who beat out their laundry on the
cool banks looked up and said, “Ah! It is the
beautiful shepherd come down from the hills. He is
amorous today. See how he chases that sheep!” They all
grinned and hollered at him and twisted their little
hands into crude gestures. Epmetheus laughed and waved
still moving in on that little white cloud of ewe
passion.
The cloud ran atop another hill and Epmetheus grabbed
its sheepy ankles and tackled it to the ground. The
sheep cheerfully chortled and grinned at the handsome
Greek boy. “Ah sheep! If I were to kiss thee wouldst
thou run? Or wouldst thou stay?”” He began to tickle
the sheep. The fun was interrupted though when a voice
was heard above the two.
“Ho boy! You favor the sheep I see. It seems that all
the shepherds of your land do. I have seen numerous
youths wrapping their tawny arms about the slim limbs
of ewes.” Said a man, tall and handsome with hair like
spun gold.
Epmetheus leered at him and swiftly replied, “I favor
many things.” Epmetheus threw the sheep he had loved
so madly to the side and shooed it away. The pitiful
creature did so with many a tear and heavy heart for
it had lost the kind gaze of his lover. “My name is
Epmetheus.”
The man chuckled and held out his hand, “I shall help
you up my dear boy. My name is Admonis.” Epmetheus
thrust his hand forth eagerly, and was pulled up.
“Greetings of the most sincere nature Admonis. You are
certainly quite strong as is apparent in your most
excellent form.” Said the shepherd.
“Ah! Thankyou. Tell me dear Epmetheus, have you had
any formal education? If not I would be most eager to
aid you in the furthering of your knowledge. My former
student has married and has no need of my services any
longer. “ Said Admonis with a hopeful twinkle in his
eye.
The youth, Epmetheus grinned wholeheartedly and
replied, “Well certainly I have. However I have
forgotten nearly all of it and would sorely love to be
reminded.”
“Then my dear Epmetheus, I shall restore your lost
knowledge. Shall we begin tomorrow?”
“Yes. Yes Admonis. As soon as possible. You may do
whatever you feel is necessary to me, in order to
refresh my memory. The older men do indeed teach the
younger.”
Admonis smiled and nodded, “And so it shall be for all
time my boy. Tomorrow then, upon the morn, I shall
meet you at this hilltop in the open air for us to
breathe.”
The youth frowned. “Admonis, do you not think your
private chambers would be more appropriate? Many a
young maiden journeys by this place.”
Admonis raised a brow and quietly said, “There be
quiet places enough in the fair land of Greece. I must
go now though to my home. I bid you farewell Epmetheus
until Apollo, fairest one, races his chariot across
the azure sky with the first song of birds.”
That night past, a little bird on crimson feet flew to
Mount Olympus to wake the most majestic and proud of
the Gods, Apollo. The bird wrapped his talons on a
blonde curl and sung a little song of joy in his ear.
Apollo’s blue eyes opened wide and he leapt from his
crowded bed full of lovely wood nymphs and satyrs, and
put on a fresh tunic; then situated himself in front
of the mirror and carefully placed the verdant wreath
of laurel leaves about his head. As he grabbed the
leather reins of the golden chariot he growled, “Now
to educate that boy Hyacinth!” With a crack of his
whip he sped off into the blue heavens.
A moment after the event previously described;
Epmetheus was atop the hill with his flock. He paced
about nervously occasionally checking his reflection
in the glassy eyes of a dull sheep.
Admonis, long-legged, was soon seen to be striding
over the wavy grass of the Iscean plain carting small
scrolls, bits of papyrus, and some reeds and ink.
“Good morning Epmetheus. You look well this morning. I
would even venture to say the closest liking to Apollo
as I have seen on this mortal ground.”
Epmetheus blushed quite fervently and sat on the grass
with Admonis. Admonis began to arrange the paper on
the ground. “Now Epmetheus, I would like to first try
out a bit of logic on you so as to prepare you for the
mathematics before you. We’ll try a method called
syllogism?”
“No Admonis. I am willing to try anything once
though.”
Admonis appeared confused for a moment, but shook it
away. “Well, one for instance…If all dogs are barking
animals, and poodles are dogs, then what must one
logically conclude of poodles?”
Epmetheus sat utterly still for several moments not
even blinking, “Well, I suppose that all poodles are
dogs.”
“Well, Epmetheus, you are correct of course. That was
not what I was looking for however. I was hoping that
you would conclude that all poodles are barking
animals.”
“What has this to do with anything Admonis!? I see
that this in no way effects the education that you
promised me.”
“Epmetheus! Please. It has a great deal to do with
your education. Simply think on it, and tell me what
it does have to do with your education. Think of such
a problem on your own.”
Epmetheus bit his lips, and blinking slowly said,
“Well, an eager student is promised an education. Any
proper education would require the instructor teach
him in the ways of passion, and sex, which can only be
taught to the student by an experienced instructor.
The teacher wishes to please the student. What must
one logically conclude?”
Admonis’ eyes widened and he stammered out quickly, “I
suppose the er… teacher…would give the student…the
education the student…wishes to…errr…..Um…. adopt!”
Epmetheus stared expectantly at Admonis and lay on the
grass stretching his arms over his head. “What now
then?”
Admonis averted his eyes still stumbling over words
and said, “Phi..Ph…Philosophy now.”
Epmetheus cried, “Philosophy!”. His eyes flared at
poor, disconcerted Admonis who sat trembling slightly.
“Admonis! You’re a terrible teacher! My past teachers
never mentioned philosophy or mathematics!”
Admonis cast his eyes downward, “What then Epmetheus,
did they teach you?”
Epmetheus gasped and came nearer to Admonis. “You
really don’t know! Do you?” Let it be noted that at
this point he lost concentration as a sheep just
nuzzled his shoulder.
“What did they teach you Epmetheus?”
“Well Admonis…It was…you know…sex.”
“Show me Epmetheus. Teach me what they taught you.
Please?”
The youth drew away from Admonis. “What terrible
nonsense are you speaking of!? Younger men teaching
the younger? That is simply repulsive of you!”
Epmetheus snuggled into the sheep behind him,
“Admonis, you are a pervert! You have positively no
right to live.”
Admonis reached out his arm to the golden youth’s
ankle. “Oh please my boy. Do not leave. I understand
now. I can guess how to go if you guide me.”
Epmetheus recoiled and stood with his arm about the
sheep and strided away over the green hills. Admonis
wept for he has lost a beautiful thing for his
ignorance in modern educational practices. Years later
though, another shepherd, less bashful and equal in
beauty did finally educate the older man in the trends
of that day.
Epmetheus later became a grand scholar to sheep and
died amongst them, exhausted in a haystack.
***THE MORAL IS: Never assume anything when a sheep is
present!
GO
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