THE QUIZ OF GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

By Jack of Clubs

Hey! Sick of taking real tests that have meaning? Well, here’s one for your feeble little mind!
Directions: Answer each question. Yes, all of them. One point for each correct answer. Do not take orally.

1. Finish this song lyric: 99 bottles…
A. …all men are created equal.
B. …is so hard on the knees.
C. q
D. The Industrial Revolution.

2 ½. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
A. Yes.
B. Eleventeen.
C. Igloos.
D. 27 pineapples.

Q. Who put the bomb in the bomshebomb?
A. The ram in the ramalamadingdong.
B. December 15, 1996.
C. Francisco Scaramanga, the Man with the Golden Gun.
D. Bill Cosby and Jell-O.

H-4. Who was the victor at the Second Battle of Bull Run?
A. the bulls, who wanted revenge for 1st Bull Run.
B. Captain William J. "B.J." Blazkowicz.
C. No.
D. Öp.

5,000. Who was the second gunman on the grassy knoll?
A. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber."
B. Celery Man.
C. 4x+8.
D. Sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question.

6B. In Return of the Jedi, the bounty hunter that gave Han Solo to Jabba the Hutt was:
A. Greedo.
B. Boba Fett.
C. 4-LOM.
D. Bossk.

7 9/10. What was the outcome of the Battle of Marathon?
A. Mmm pickles.
B. Mmm pickles.
C. Mmm pickles.
D. Mmm pickles.

8x. Toto?
A. I miss the rains down in Africa.
B. Pecos Bill.
C. Red Skelton.
D. 27 pineapples.

9.95. The world’s largest fish is the:
A. whale.
B. whale shark.
C. great white shark.
D. Frank Stallone.

E3. Adolf Hitler was:
A. ugly.
B. leader of the Nazi party.
C. dedicated to creating what he called "a perfect race."
D. a complete nincompoop.

11/1. In Hardware Wars, the planet that was destroyed by the superlaser was:
A. Basketball.
B. Alderaan.
C. the Port Jackson shark.
D. Zonex IV.

MMX. What color is an orange basketball?
A. green
B. x+Ö3x
C. blue
D. dental plan

l. What was the name of Sherlock Holmes’ assistant?
A. Dr. Watson.
B. Dr. No.
C. Dr. Kevorkian.
D. Dr. Doom.

§. Who was the villain in Live and Let Die?
A. Captain Carnivore.
B. Auric Goldfinger.
C. Baron Samedi.
D. 27 pineapples.

15. Urkel:
A. is a cultural icon.
B. was a cultural icon.
C. is actually 67 years old.
D. B and C.

1/16. In what state do you find jackrabbits?
A. Illinois.
B. Denial.
C. Confusion.
D. Insanity.

pr. Who led the Americans in the Revolutionary War?
A. Gen. George Washingmachine.
B. Marquis Oafy L’Oafyette.
C. Superpickle.
D. 27 pineapples.

Eighteen. The name of the main character in Geo. Herriman’s comic strip, "Krazy Kat," was:
A. Ignatz Mouse.
B. Mock Duck.
C. Krazy Kat.
D. Krazy Kow.

19? X.
A. Who is Thoreau?
B. Red.
C. (2y-3x) z<4.
D. #2 pencils.

". Can I have a bite of your ice cream sandwich?
A. b
B. Yes.
C. Over my dead body!
D. 300,000… and 27 pineapples.

KVEH. Which one of the following was a great Greek philosopher?
A. Jockrates
B. Geraldo Rivericus
C. Rocketus Manicus
D. Joe Piscopo

XXII. How many farmers can you fit in an empty wicker basket?
A. Fabio
B. ¥
C. Ö-1
D. 27 you-know-what

23. Netanyahu.
A. What kind of stupid wiener name is that?
B. Great taste, less filing!
C. Beer beer beer bed bed bed!
D. Don’t make me use this!

23+1. "…and the Prozac is my _____…"
A. umbrella
B. donut
C. pushbroom
D. fixer

23+Ö4. Glue is to ducks as soap is to _____.
A. red tide
B. Red Skelton
C. sticky ducks
D. 27… aw, you know!

26! When is the earth supposed to be destroyed?
A. RIGHT NOW!
B. 3955 A.D., according to Planet Of The Apes.
C. Steve Grapes Steve Wrath Steve Steve.
D. Don’t you have better things to do?

27(pineapples). What’s behind door #2?
A. null space
B. another frickin’ door
C. more traps
D. Ice Ice Baby

Twenyate. Have we learned anything today?
A. No!
B. Yes.
C. A bit…
D. She HAS got a wart…

29. Hey! Tyler! Where’s Joe @#!$ing Perry?
A. Behind door #2, stupid.
B. thingy
C. NO-these can not be recycled!
D. 27 p_n__ppl_s

30. False?
A. 3³2
B. nyet
C. tuna
D. Couldn’t you find a better way to waste your time?

31, 31, 31. Can I use your car?
A. Do you really have a death wish?
B. I don’t own a car. I drive an Atari 2600.
C. No, no, a thousand times no.
D. Don’t even look at my car.

3…2. Noot! Noot!
A. If you read this upside down it makes no sense.
B. Yuppie.
C. Ack! Ack!
D. Bill the Cat

33,333. Insert sound effect here.
A. YOINK!
B. SMEE!
C. WHUD!
D. JAR!

Noof. What was unearthed in the school cafeteria?
A. A big can of baked beans.
B. 5,000 ancient issues of National Geographic.
C. purple flower
D. Their floors are sticky mart…(Okay, no more Simpsons quotes.)

Å. Fishmortism…
A. …contains monosodium glutamate (MSG).
B. …is like a thorn without a rose, yeah, yeah.
C. …makes a great meal!
D. …turns ordinary sand into SQAND!

Answers and Scoring and Ranking and Stuff...