The Voice of Cabs
Well, if you're reading this, it can only mean one of
two things: 1)This isn't really me, but rather a
brazen attempt of Insanity Fair to curry favor with
old school DSS fan. (If this really isn't me, that is
one DAMN good attempt at being me) 2) I finally
submitted to Storm's, Jack of Clubs's and XLS's
beatings to do some work on their mag.
As it turns out, I am Mastercabs. For those of you who
know me-there's a support group. For those of you who
don't know me, I used to write a subversive newsletter
(anarchist-punk-rock-satanist-anti-teacher magazine)
called "The Dead Student Society." DSS ran its course,
sparkled and faded. (sort of like that
whole'anarchist-punk-rock-satanist-anti-teacher'
attitude') Now I've been experiencing long periods of
inactivity and eating mayonaisse sandwiches on white
bread with the crust cut off.
I couldn't resist one last chance to voice myself in a
magazine, especially after that one stab XLS took at
me in ish 2. (You fuckin' bastard) Well, hmmmmmm. . .
I havent done this crap in a while. I guess the best
way to start this off, would be with a Top Ten List.
After all, if I learned anything from DSS, its this:
If it's more than a paragraph most kids don't have the
attention span for it. . . So, without further adieu,
I bring you:
Top Ten Reasons Why I Stopped Writing DSS
10) I ran out of good ideas
9) I ran out of ways to try to make people feel sorry
for me.
8) I actually got a girlfriend so I couldn't bitch
about not having one anymore, subsequently relieving
me of all the material I had . . . HA HA HA HA!!!
7) I found masturbation to be an equally enjoyable
alternative (and productive) post scholastic activity.
6) They moved reruns of "Small Wonder" to the time
slot that I used to write DSS in.
5) I became to busy sitting on my ass.
4) The only mail we ever got was stuff that I sent to
myself.
3) I ran out of shitty punk rock to quote. (You can
only quote a band called, "The Vandals" so many times
before you begin to feel strange about yourself)
2) I found out that Mastercabs is actually the name of
a Gay Stripper.
1) I decided to actually read it.
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email: InsanityFair@excite.com