1.  I feel nervous and restless                   1.             2.     3.              4.
2.  I feel satisfied with myself                  4.            3.     2.               1.
3.  I feel difficulties are piling up so that I cannot overcome 1.  2.  3.  4.
4.  I feel like a failure                              1.            2.     3.               4.
5.  I have disturbing thoughts                    1.            2.     3.               4.
6.  I lack self-confidence                          1.            2.     3.               4.
7.  I feel secure                                       4.            3.     2.               1.
8.  I worry too much over something that does not matter 1.  2.  3.     4.

Date:                             Your total score

Individual Reflection

1.  Who or what causes you most anxiety?

2.  How do you perceive the cause?

3.  Do you have any physical reaction, as a result of this anxiety within?  Any illness, or physical symptoms?

4.  What emotions do you feel, as you recognize this anxiety?

5.  How do you act, react, behave, because of the presence of this anxiety in your life?

6.  How do you relate your meditative life, your search for guidance and strength, to this experience of anxiety?  What do you find helpful, and what has proved unhelpful?

2. Understanding the changes of life

Instructions:  As each individual's tolerance  for stress varies, the total life changes' score should only be taken as a rough guide.  The average "cost in stress" is indicated below for events. For each of the events that you consider you have experienced during the past 12 months, transfer the average value to the column headed "Your score."  Ignore events that have not occurred to you in the past 12 months.  Counting only those scores transferred to your column, add up your total change score.

Life Events                                                      Average Value-Your Score

1.   Death of spouse                                                    100
2.   Divorce                                                                73 
3.   Marital separation                                                  65 
4.   Death of close family member                                63 
5.   Personal injury or illness                                         53 
6.   Marriage                                                               50 
7.   Serious decline in financial resources                       49 
8.   Geographical relocation                                         48   
9.   Spouse Infidelity                                                    47 
10.  Heavy drinking begun by close family member         46 
11.  Marital reconciliation                                             45 
12.  Retirement                                                           44 
13.  Change in health of family member                         43 
14.  Problems with children                                          42 
15.  Pregnancy                                                             41 
16.  Sex difficulties                                                      40 
17.  Alienation from Spouse                                          39 
18.  Gain new family member                                       38 
19.  A new job in new line of work                                37
20.  Change in financial state                                        36
21.  Death  of a close friend                                         35 
22.  Increased arguing with spouse                                34 
23.  Mergers of two or more families                             33 
24.  A serious employer financial difficulty                     32 
25.  New Home Mortgage                                             31 
26.  Difficulty with fellow worker                                 31 
27.  Foreclosure of mortgage or loan                              30 
28.  Destruction of home by fire                                    30 
29.  A new job in same line of work                              30 
30.  Son or daughter leaving home                                29   
31.  Trouble with in-law                                               29 
32.  Anger of friend or relative over your actions           29 
33.  Slow, steady decline in employer business               29 
34.  Outstanding personal achievement                          28 
35.  Introduction of new major debt                              28 
36.  Lack of ability to pay a big bill                               27 
37.  Remodeling or building program                             27 
38.  Start or stop of  spouses' employment                      26 
39.  Holiday away                                                         26 
40.  Start or finish of school                                          26 
41.  Death  of colleague or fellow worker                       26 
42.  Transfer within employment                                   26 
43.  Change in living conditions                                     25 
44.  Revision of personal habits                                     24 
45.  Negative activity by spouse                                    23 
46.  Difficulty with teaching a class                                22 
47.  Change in residence                                               21 
48.  Change in schools                                                   20 
49.  Change in recreation                                              19 
50.  Change in social activities                                       18 
51.  Death/moving away of good friend                          18 
52.  Large installment loan                                              17 
53.  Change in sleeping habits                                         16 
54.  Development of new friendship                                16 
55.  Change in eating habits                                            15 
56.  Stressful continuing education experience                  15 
57.  Change in job process                                              14 
58.  Vacation at home                                                    13 
59.  Christmas                                                               12 
60.  Trouble paying bills                                                 12 
61.  Misc. Problems/challenges                                       12 
62.  Minor violation of the law                                       11 

Date:                Your Total Score: 

Interpretation of score
351 -       To be taken very seriously indeed
301 - 350  to be taken seriously
251 - 300  very serious concern to be exercised
201 - 250  serious concerns to be exercised

Individual reflection

1.  Can you think of causes of stress not accounted for in the above list, which were of significance for you personally in the past 12 months?

2.  How would you rate their relative "cost?"  How realistic is the exercise?  What are your thoughts now, on the way life events have influenced the pressures on you?

Devastation: a meditation
(Bronwyn Pryor) 

All the flowers of my life seem cut off,
Only bare stumps remain.
Memories linger, vivid still,
Of those joys I can't hope to regain
Through tears have long dried,
My nerves are numb,
My emotions are empty, drained.
The shock of the change seemed to strive in full flower.
The pain of the knife still remains

I stare at the desolation
Where once my happiness bloomed
the barren, lifeless garden
Where my heart feels now entombed.
'What's left?' I ask of the Gardener.
'I feel so disoriented, dry.
Is there anything I can salvage?
What's left  of my life?' I cry.

'Look deep within, and deeper,
'Below the surface of things.
Turn with the eye of your spirit,'
The Voice Eternal rings.

'Your roots are there, undamaged, 
'Though shaken, they have held fast.
Forged over the years of plenty
Strong bonds to the love of my heart.
Look to these roots and deeper,
look to your source,' he said.
'Trust the Spirit within you
to bring re-growth from the dead.

'Nurture those roots within you,
Feed them with your faith.
Withdraw to your center where God is,
and watch new growth take place.
Relax in the warmth of my presence.
Trust by refreshing springs.
Anger and blame belong not,
Give way to the deep peace within.'

Trust him? I will, I decide now.
Though he slay me, I'll yet trust his love.
With him I will leave the reasons,
The wherefores, the whys,
Till above
My earthly vessel, I gaze out,
On the whole array of the scene,
And see for myself the beauty
That new shoots and buds have been.

3.  Understanding the signs of strain

Source: R.M. Oswald, Clergy stress, 1982 (based on the work of John D. Adams)

Instructions: Opposite each item below write a score which best represents how frequently you experience each response.  Use the following code: 0 = Never, 1 = Occasionally, 2 = Fairly often, 3 = Frequently.

Score                              Strain Response

1.   Eat too much
2.   Drink too much alcohol
3.   Smoke more than usual
4.   Feel tense, uptight, fidgety
5.   Feel depressed or remorseful
6.   Like myself less
7.   Have difficulty going to sleep or saying asleep
8.   Feel restless and unable to concentrate
9.   Have decreased interest in sex
10.  Have increased interest in sex
11.  Have loss of appetite
12.  Feel tired/low energy
13.  Feel irritable
14.  Think about suicide
15.  Become less communicative
16.  Feel disoriented or overwhelmed
17.  Have difficulty getting up in the morning
18.  Have headaches
19.  Have upset stomach
20.  Have sweaty and/or trembling hands
21.  Have shortness of breath and sighing
22.  Let things slide
23.  Misdirect anger
24.  Feel 'unhealthy'
25.  Feel time-bound, anxious - too much to do, to little time
26.  Use prescription drugs to relax
27.  Use medication for high blood pressure
28.  Depend on other drugs to relax
29.  Have anxiety about the future
30.  Have back problems
31.  Unable to clear up a cold, infection, a sore throat

  Your total score              Date: 

Interpretation of score:
41 -     Unless you do something soon to alleviate your stress, more serious illness will result
31 - 40 Above average strain.  Stress is having a very destructive effect on your life.  You are living a good portion of your life beyond your stress threshold.
21 - 30 Stress starting to show its effects.  You are living near your stress threshold, at times crossing it.
0  -  20 Below average strain in your life.

Individual reflection

1.  Check all responses on the scale to which you gave a '3'.
do they relate in any way?  What  is the pattern of your strain responses?

2.  What changes do you think need to take place in your life, your habits, your use of time, your relationships, your spiritual life, in order to lower your score?

4.  Understanding recent experiences of distress

Instructions:  Listed below are some areas of life that may exhibit distress in living.  Based on your own recent experience, opposite each item below write a score that best represents the intensity of distress or conflict for you.  Choose your own score for each item, on the range from 1-6.  Be sure to write in one score between 1 (no distress) and 6 (high distress), for each item in the list.

Your Score                           Broad Areas of Life

1.   Interpersonal relationships
2.   Marriage
3.   Sexuality
4.   Workload
5.   Delegating work
6.   Faith and belief
7.   Finances
8.   Privacy, space and time for yourself
9.   Expectations of my spouse, by others
10.  Structures and procedures of my employer
11.  Expectations of me, by friends
12.  Expectation of me, by family members
13.  My feeling of being cared for, by others
14.  Management of conflict
15.  Self image, self esteem
16.  Physical health
17.  God's training program for yourself
18.  Other continuing education
19.  Pressure of life in general, rapid changes to society
*  You may also wish to add other broad areas not already covered, but which are of current importance to you.  Give each a score between 1 and 6, as for above.
20. 
21. 
22. 

Date: 
Calculation and interpretation of scores
1.  Add up the total of all scores: 
2.  Divide the total by 19 (or more, if you filled in other items): Avg:
3.  If you average score is (below 3-little or no distress) (between 3 and 4-significant distress) (5 and above-major distress)

Individual Reflection

1. Of the 19 or more items listed, which single area is the most important source of distress for you?  What specifically contributes to this area being distressing at present, or in the recent past?

2. What other factors or causes contribute to your feeling of high distress at this time?  If there are none at present, reflect on your past experience, and how you have coped or risen above the distress.

3. What are the sign or effects of distress in your life?  How have the main areas of distress changed your behavior, attitudes, interpersonal relationships?
   Who or what is helping (or has helped) you overcome this stressful time?  Be as specific as you can.

4. Where did you learn most about coping with stress?  Consider what you learned from your parents (family or origin), your spouse or present family, your period's of education, more experienced colleagues, particular friends, etc.

5. As you look back over this exercise, what strikes you as most significant about your experience of distress  or conflict?  And about your ability to move beyond it?

5.  Light at the end of the tunnel

The preceding exercises focus to a fair extent on the negative experiences of your life, those experiences or situations that you perceive as causing you anxiety or distress, those that have had a significant negative impact on your emotions or lifestyle.  By contrast, here  is an opportunity for you to consider what is going well for you at the moment, the things, experiences and relationships that you are enjoying and that give you satisfaction or confidence.  Relax,  and  reflect relationships that you are enjoying and that give you satisfaction or confidence.  Relax. and reflect on the positives in your life at this time.  Jot them down under the heading provided here, or others that are more part of your life and in which there is at least something good to report.  Despite the pressures under which you live and work, there really is light at the end of the tunnel for those with eyes to see.

Rather than repeating the same responses under different headings below take your time and try to identify different experiences.

Blessings and burdens: a meditation
(Bronwyn Pryor)

In the light at the end of the tunnel,
With full knowledge, I'll be able to see,
Looking back on my life from the safety of God
What were true burdens and blessings for me.

Is a lot of my pain just self-induced
Because I run away?
Does the Shepherd hurt too, and long to see
His sheep more joyful and gay?

'All things work together for good.'
Not, no, you cannot mean...
Here, there, and...not everywhere
For those with eyes to see?
You want me to see with the eyes of faith
That there's good in the hardest hurt?
That the greatest blessings will be those which come 
From my struggle with inner dirt?
That final blow that brought me so low
I'll never be able to see, 
That you were there behind the hurt,
That you allowed that for me.

Ah!  This job is easy for me,
Jotting my blessings down.
There won't be many things to write,
Then I can head out of town.

I've counted my blessings, Lord
There's good food, the sun, the sea
This land we call Australia
Is still wide and wealthy and free.
My friends are good, my family fine,
Competence, fulfillment and satisfaction mine.
In all these, your hand I can see.

But something is niggling below my thoughts.
Is there something more?
I have a deep suspicion that 
I''ve seen this list before
I study the list of my blessings,
And then I begin to see
Aren't these the same, labeled burdens,
When I wrote that list before tea?

Good food has become a burden 
Which around my waist I wear.
The problem of how to stop gluttony, Lord, 
is making me lose my hair

And family, so glad I have them, now,
But they all take their toll,
Of my time and my patience, my energy too,
Not to mention my missing bank roll.

Do I cross them off, or keep them on?
There must be some mistake
Why is my family on both lists?

Then look at my strengths, the days I've felt
Happy about my work.
At times I feel competent at the same task
That sometimes I just want to shirk.
They're so mixed up!  Which is which?
Inextricably intertwined.
I separate out a thread of good
and leave some more behind.
And what is this that I've picked up?
It's not all pure and white.
I can see a burden there, 
As well as a blessing light.

In that you I see in the turning twine
Or is it the other fellow?
The light and the dark keep changing their shape
Like a chameleon yellow.

I have a deep suspicion, Lord,
I'm beginning to suspect,
that if I keep going long enough,
My assumptions I'll have to reject.
My burdens, with time, turn out to bless,
and my blessings become a tie
Which brings responsibilities
Yet bless even as I sigh.
With effort comes satisfaction
And, digging deep enough,
I suspect there are blessings in the hardest task,
 Then the real gold is in the rough.

Well now that we have looked at some basics, how we have run our lives and the results that we have obtained.  Let us look in the next lesson at another answer toward improving the Quality of our Life.