The Latest Random Thought

Friday June 7th 2002

My God In Heaven, What Am I Watching?

So after a small bout with the common cold I'm back on this beautiful Friday...doing nothing as usual...I actually have reached the bottom of boredom...I watched a 'Behind the Music' episode about The Monkees.

All things being even I should really poke my eyes out and blast my eardrums into powder..but I guessed that in my current state of non-movement I should give myself a chance.

So there I was flipping through my satellite dish when I see 'Behind the Music', so I select it and throw the remote on to the other couch...little did I know what kind of havoc that would create.

Behind the Music looks at the cultural pop icons The Monkees...I really had no other choice to watch..the remote was a good 5 feet away from me..what could I do?

Did you know that one of the Monkees' moms invented liquid paper? Neither did I..it's one of those things you learn when comatose on the couch.

- Write about me here -

So It's Like THAT In Their Family...

So yeah, last time I updated this page it was the early days of April, or as I like to call 'the care-free golden spring of 2002'. So...what has been going on in my life since then? Well...I've been layd-off from work (along with half the staff..so it wasn't because I was a fuck up). I've left Jade and moved on to bigger and better things.

Looking for a job is harder than I possibly could have thought. When I lost my job everyone I know said 'ah, no problem, you'll find a job so easily', I guess I should have realised this was code for 'you poor poor bastard'. I must have sent out over 150 CVs (thats resumes for you uncultured trailer trash readers). I've had only a small handfull of call-backs and interviews. But I do love the 'We have seen your resume and do not think you are qualified for anything....how in the hell you managed the balls to even send this to us is a shock' type letters I get back from some companies.

I tend to think this is how my emails and snail mail letters are recieved when they get to thier final desitnation.

- WRITE TO ME HERE IF YOU WANT TO KILL ME -

Pestering Does Pay Off

THIS IS MY FRIEND KAT

Happy now?

Back From LA LA LAND 

The Oscars have come and gone and all I can say is HOW FRIKKING COOL WAS THAT!! I was in LA, a mere block from the events, hosted a huge party with over 500 people, got to meet some oscar winners and nominees and hold real life Oscars!!

CHECK OUT ALL THE PICS HERE!

Destination: Los Angeles

I'm off to the Academy Awards this weekend!

I know I usually joke around about shit like that...but this time I am dead serious, me and my little bitch are off to Los Angeles this weekend to celebrate Lord of the Rings and the Oscars with the film makers and website folks down in LA.

So...as a basic rule of thumb I'm sometimes nervous to go out my front door, so how am I going to make it to LA? I've still no clue...I have my happy pills (taking them daily...woo hoo!!) and my emergency happy pills...which I've never even tested before...so this could be fun at 74 000 feet...

I'll have a TON of pics on here after next week, plus some links to some video clips.

Speaking of St. Patrick's Day...I've updated BUCK PICS: ROOM 2 with quite a few pics from the most holiest of days. I was at the parade..and yes..someone was run over by a float...an actual float traveling at the break-neck speed of 2kph...hold on.

- TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM LA HERE -

 Chrome Dome

I shaved my head, I don't really care much about my hair, it serves me no purpose really...hair is dead cells that kinda ooze out of your body like toothpase out of a tube...kinda gross when you think about it.

Some people seem to think that cutting my hair was a mistake. But I know it'll grow back, so I'm not too upset about it. I know there are plenty of 'Baldies', dare I say 'Chrome Domers' out there who would probably kill to have my hair, it's in a bag on the curb at the moment, go nuts.

Famous Folically Challenged People

1. Ghandi: Sure he caused a whole lot of trouble, but you'll never see a more famous dome than old skinny.
2. Patrick Stewart: He can't grow hair up there, but he can sure kick some Romulan ass
3: Jason Alexander: George from 'Sienfeld', the craziest bald man you'll ever see...can we say heart-attack time! (these prezels are making me thirsty!!)
4. Mr. Clean: You can't go wrong with old Bob Clean, the guy is on more floors than your favorite pron star.
5. Telly Sevalas: Hey, who loves you baby?! (this joke may confuse anyone younger than 25).
6. Yul Brynner: Winner for the 'oddest name', Yul can sure kick some ass...and you'll never mistake him for Arnold Rimmer.
7. Dr. Evil: 'My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.' -Gotta love it!

- TALK ABOUT YOUR BALD UNCLE HERE -

 Yippy Kai Yay...Mother Fucker!

Last night...I was John McLaine...

Opening Soon

I was stuck in the IMB building at 9Pm, no one in the building except me and the security guards, as I was slowly making my way down to the parking garage, I realised I didn't have any money to pay for parking. I had to make my way back up and find a bank machine, it then struck me...I'm in a 'John McLaine' Moment here...

I almost Jumped

What if some charming international terrorists took over the building in attempts to open some bank vault? What if their plan was so perfect, they knew where all the guards were, they knew the security codes and all the plans for the building. But they didn't count on one thing, a random nerd in the building.

see what happens when you piss off a nerd?

Oh man, I'd get these guys so bad!! I'd hack into the building computers and....shut down some servers...I'd then flick all the light switches on and off randomly...I'd go into the elevator and press ALL the buttons...hahaha...suckers.

- Write About The Sequel Die Hard 2: Die Nerd, Die Here -

 100% Cat Pee Free

Cats...can't eat them...pass the peanuts..

My friend has a cat, no idea why...she hates the bloody thing. And lately it's been keen on pissing all over the house...and if you've ever smelled cat urine, you KNOW how evil it is. So what keep the thing? No idea, They really seem to serve no purpose...they just aren't like dogs, I must admit, my dog is a fracko...but at least you can play with him! Cats don't like to be touched, petted, played with or anything! (much like my x-girlfriend) Cats...who needs them

-This message has been brought to you by the dog lovers of North America...love a dog...but not in that way

- TALK ABOUT KILLING CATS AND OTHER GOOD THINGS HERE -

 Crash & Bang

No, not your favorite porn star name, it's actually the new nickname for a friend of mine, Jade. It seems Jade has a slight problem with cars...as in she can't drive them. Well, that's not really true, she can't drive them and talk on the phone at the same time.

It seems that Jade was driving through Dorion (with brand new winter tires I might add) when she mistook a red light for a green one...commmon mistake. As she slammed into another car in the intersection, her airbags exploded in her face and she was saved from what would have most certainly been a life and or face changing car accident (see Vanilla Sky?...neither did I).

Well..needless to say it was all her fault, and luckily she didn't kill anyone. Her plan was to sleep her way out of trouble, that was before she found out about no-fault insurance. Sadness...women drivers seems to be an oximoron.

- TALK ABOUT ISSUING HELMETS FOR WOMEN DRIVERS HERE -

 Ok...So Where've I Been?

Well...first off..that's none of your damn business.

With the pleasantries out of the way I can tell you a few choice things. First, I am no longer an intern, enough time on your knees will get you anything, trust me. I now work at a company called HMS Software. Sound dorky to you? I have my own office on the 7th floor and I walk to work, so go ahead and fuck right off...I'm one happy nerd.

Right...so what else has been going on since I last updated this page? Hrm...Osama be killin, Aalyah be dyin', Lord o' da Rings be making mondo dough...and...what else...not a whole lot. As per request by a VERY special friend of mine, I will be trying to update this page more often. To help feed the fuel of interest on this site forever more.

My fans...my adoring fans!!

- TALK ABOUT MY ADORING FANS HERE -