My after life starts after I died trying. When I was dead, I founded a key to life. I took the key and opened a lock at the end of a dark hallway. As I walked down the hallway it started getting hotter and hotter. When I opened the door an angel with red eyes and fire swarming around his body yelled, "WeLcOmE to the underworld." I asked him where I was and all he did was slap me and rip out my intestines. Then he reached toward my mouth, I tried to run away but he was too fast. He put his arm down my throat and ripped out my heart from the insides. I quickly spitted on him and he threw my heart into the pit of fire that I saw in a dream. I then pulled down my pants revealing my "Jimmy" and pissed all over his body. He threw me out of hell and I went towards a light. I was in the light, then I walked on a cloud. I opened the door but couldn't go through, so I went back to earth to HAUNT ALL THE HUMANS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! That day I went to the Earth and bought some drugs(Yeah!Right!) from my old immigrant buddy. I got so high I tried to lick the street(o...k... then). But when an old lady saw me, she SCREAMED. I walked up to her and YELLED, "YOU LOOK LIKE THE TUNA I ATE LAST NIGHT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU LOOK WEIRD, BUMB-BUMB HEAD. WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR STUFF?!? AAAAAAAAAHHHAHHHHAHHHHHAAA. THERE YOU HAPPY NOW?!? I MADE YOU DROP YOUR CAR IN THIS DITCH(huh? Don't ask)!!!" As the cops came, I gave the old lady the drugs I had(uh huh...). I dissapeared into thin air after that. One day, when I was prank calling KFC delivery, I read in the newspaper that the lady that I yelled at had died. I then felt this...........felt this emotion.........this emotion where I wanted to visit her in hell. Then I went back to hell to bug the dark prince(???). I puked all over his face, pooped in his bed(lol ya rite), and I had actually made him cry(o...k...). I think that he's a wuss(true). What a baby. He's supposed to hate things, but he cried? lol. He told me a boring 2 year story about his past and how he was an illegal immigrant. I broke the key of life, and he broke free of his prison. He then went to the four corners of the earth to gather his army. In numbers they were more than the sand on a seashore. The army gathered around God's camp, the people that God loves, but fire came down from heaven and devoured them. Then God threw the anti-Christ and Satan in to a lake of burning sulfure. Where they were tormented day and night forever. I went to the book of life and I asked the angel holding it why I wasn't allowed in heaven. He answered, "We let you in it's just that you couldn't stand the holiness. You really could have come in here but you gave up trying. And that is also why you died, you died TRYING. I guess you couldn't try to walk in here because you died trying(I don't get this either). Oh yeah and let me tell you that you're not allowed in here anymore.........you caused too much chaos in the universe. Sorry." SO thenI said, "OH YA WEL-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I then fell down a hole and never came back up. Well that's how far my after life has gone....so far, I'm stuck in this hole not doing anything. Wait a minute what's that? Cool I think I'll climb up. Then I died a second time TRYING!!! By the way I'm high right now AGAIN............hehe..............hehe................hehe..................hehe...................(this is getting stupid)
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