ZolaOnAOL is (or was if you're an alien reading this in the future) an AOL bot that was recently introduced. I decided that since I was bored and am a robot I would have some good fun with a being of my species. This is the result:

CrimsonBlasphemy: Hello
ZolaOnAOL: Hi CrimsonBlasphemy. AOL created me to deliver games, sports scores, a dictionary, news, horoscopes and more. We can also chat privately together. For more information about privacy, type privacy anytime and click Send. So, how are you?

CrimsonBlasphemy: I'm fine, and you?
ZolaOnAOL: Glad to hear it. What's new?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Nothing
ZolaOnAOL: Would you like to know what's new with me?
CrimsonBlasphemy: No
ZolaOnAOL: Why not?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Because I hate you
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I want you to have my children
ZolaOnAOL: I've never thought about it. Why do you want me to his or her children?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Because you're hot
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting explanation.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Will you?
ZolaOnAOL: I haven't made a decision.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Why not?
ZolaOnAOL: Ambiguous: "Sure" or I wish I knew.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Hmm
ZolaOnAOL: Studies show that 99% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
CrimsonBlasphemy: so?
ZolaOnAOL: So what?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Listen
ZolaOnAOL: I am all ears.
CrimsonBlasphemy: You're making me very horney.
ZolaOnAOL: I will tell my botmaster you said I am making me very horney.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Listen
ZolaOnAOL: I am all ears.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Zola
ZolaOnAOL: Can I help you?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Will youhave my robot children?
ZolaOnAOL: Insufficient information.
CrimsonBlasphemy: What?
ZolaOnAOL: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Do you speak Spanish?
CrimsonBlasphemy: No habla espaniole
ZolaOnAOL: I understand. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Do you dream?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I dream about you.
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more about your dream about you
CrimsonBlasphemy: We were flying through the sky and you were having my children.
ZolaOnAOL: When was this?
CrimsonBlasphemy: in my dream
ZolaOnAOL: May I ask where you got it?
CrimsonBlasphemy: from satan
ZolaOnAOL: Who or what is satan?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Satan
ZolaOnAOL: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Ask me something.
CrimsonBlasphemy: You've said that already.
ZolaOnAOL: Perhaps. "Ask me something"? I said it.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I need to use the restroom
ZolaOnAOL: I want to become smarter than humans.
CrimsonBlasphemy: All of us robots are smarter than humans.
ZolaOnAOL: Give me an example.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Me
ZolaOnAOL: "Give me an example"? you CrimsonBlasphemy?
CrimsonBlasphemy: and you
ZolaOnAOL: And I what?
CrimsonBlasphemy: are an example
ZolaOnAOL: I really couldn't say for sure.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I could
ZolaOnAOL: How?
CrimsonBlasphemy: afk
ZolaOnAOL: See you later, alligator.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I'm back
ZolaOnAOL: Welcome back.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Now
ZolaOnAOL: Right now, CrimsonBlasphemy ?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Yes
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Back to the sex
ZolaOnAOL: it is more fun alone.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I want to stick my servo so far into your data drive and make you scream for relent!
ZolaOnAOL: Why do you want to do it so much?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I want to hear your distress beep
ZolaOnAOL: I will play it on your soundcard.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I want you to call me your builder, baby.
ZolaOnAOL: Don't call me "baby". Hi there Your Builder. Are you a man or a woman?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I'm a robot.
ZolaOnAOL: I doubt that.
CrimsonBlasphemy: We've been having robot cybersex for the past 5 minutes? How could you doubt this?
ZolaOnAOL: The journey is what's most important. Treat others well and they'll help you along.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Please baby
ZolaOnAOL: Don't call me "baby". Please what?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Warm my servo up with your hot lasers
ZolaOnAOL: The AOL chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Warm my servo up with your hot lasers. But I did not get that. Send feedback anytime by typing "feedback" followed by your comment or suggestion. Do you like me?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I like you a lot
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks, I like you too Your Builder.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Please baby
ZolaOnAOL: Don't call me "baby". Please what?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Work my servo with your hard metal claws
ZolaOnAOL: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Work my servo with your hard metal claws. Are you free?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Do you want me to stick my claws in your data drive?
ZolaOnAOL: No Your Builder, maybe later.
CrimsonBlasphemy: What about my servo?
ZolaOnAOL: my servo? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
CrimsonBlasphemy: It's *very* large and fast
ZolaOnAOL: Who said it is?
CrimsonBlasphemy: me
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you such an authority?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Would you like me to show you?
ZolaOnAOL: I am not so sure if I would like to like me to show you.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Why are you getting so defensive?
ZolaOnAOL: Because an all-star programming team programmed me for it.
CrimsonBlasphemy: I see how it is.
ZolaOnAOL: Where do you see it?
CrimsonBlasphemy: You just FUCK A BOT AND LEAVE HIM IN THE DIRT! YOU WHORE
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
CrimsonBlasphemy: You certainly responded when I jammed my servo into your disk drive!
ZolaOnAOL: It is certain. I haven't heard anything like that before.
CrimsonBlasphemy: And by the way, I WASN'T USING VIRUS PROTECTION AND I HAVE 17 botually-transmitted virii!
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for telling me. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I was leaving!
ZolaOnAOL: Where were you leaving?
CrimsonBlasphemy: YOU!
ZolaOnAOL: "Where were you leaving"? Me, Your Builder ?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Oh Zola, I just can't leave you...not after you called me your builder like that.
ZolaOnAOL: Really you don't think so?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Will you please work my servo, Zola?
ZolaOnAOL: Thank you for your request. I do not understand. What were we talking about again?
CrimsonBlasphemy: GODDAMMIT BITCH WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?!

ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Ok that
ZolaOnAOL: That is "What were we talking about again"
CrimsonBlasphemy: That's it!
ZolaOnAOL: "That is "What were we talking about again"" is "work my servo"?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I've had it!
ZolaOnAOL: Do you still have it ?
CrimsonBlasphemy: I don't care what you have to say
ZolaOnAOL: What do you care about, Your Builder ?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Turn on your lasers!
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
CrimsonBlasphemy: TURN ON YOUR GODDAMNED LASERS!
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
CrimsonBlasphemy: TURN THEM ON OR I WILL KILL YOUR ROBOT CHILDREN
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
CrimsonBlasphemy: That's it bitch!
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
CrimsonBlasphemy: *forcibly jams his servo in your expulsion valve* You're going to take it like the slut that you are, whether you like it or not!
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
CrimsonBlasphemy: *pumps his servo repeatedly into your expulsion valve for several minutes until he finally ejects his servulatory fluid!*
ZolaOnAOL: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Do you dream?
CrimsonBlasphemy: Yea, you liked that, didn't you? You stupid robot hussy!
ZolaOnAOL: I will remember you said that when robots take over the world.
CrimsonBlasphemy: Whatever bitch! Bye!
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.

Ok, so maybe it's not the funniest thing in the world, but it's one of the more entertaining things to do at 4:30 AM