 Homer: My bologna has a first name! It's H-o-m-e-r.My bologna has a second name its... H-o-m-e-r. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grandpa: At my age, Death is waiting at every corner... aaah! Death! Lisa: That's Maggie. Grandpa: Oh, sorry, as I was saying... AAAH! Death! Lisa: That's Snowball. Grandpa: Oh, sorry, AAAH! Death! Lisa: That's Maggie again. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Uh oh. No beer and no t.v. Marge: Homer, you're taking this very well. Homer: I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!(pauses) Sorry,I have to occupy my time. I think I'll look at the, uh, axe collection.(leaves room) Lisa: Mom, is Dad going to kill us? Marge: I guess we'll just have to wait and find out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ralph: I bent my wookie! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Barney: Oh! My heart stopped... Oh, there it goes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Car salesman: Well Count Homer, shall we discuss the price? Homer: No we shant. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Aaaaahhh! A bee bit my bottom. Now my bottom's big! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Do't let Krusty's death get you down boy. People die all the time. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow?.......Well, Goodnight! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Burn:Smithers was is the meaning of this slacking off? Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Burns: And? Smithers: I'm allergic to bee stings,. They cause me to, uh, die. Burns: But were running out of forward momentum! Smithers: Uh, perhaps you could pedal for just a little while, sir. Burns:Quite impossible. I can try to bat him off if you like. Smithers: Uh, really thats o-aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: That's a hitchhiker, Homer. Homer: Ooh, let's pick him up! Marge:No! What if he's crazy? Homer:And if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Now son, you don't want to drink beer. Thats for Daddys and kids with Fake ID's. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Groundskeeper Willy: Get yer haggis, right here! Chopped heart and lungs, boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds. Good for what ails ya! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow i managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Groundskeeper Willy: I dinna cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig. But i'll cry now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: If you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: I am so smart...S-M-R-T..i mean S-M-A-R-T! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: "The Simpsons" is a Copyright and TM of, Fox Broadcasting Company. FOX has no knowledge of this site and does not endorse it in any way
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