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Summary: three crucial sunrises in the life and times of Elizabeth Weir, mission commander, Atlantis.
Author's Note: Originally written for the Matrithon ficathon (prompt: Elizabeth Weir, sunrise). Contains spoilers for the following episodes: “The Siege”, “Letters From Pegasus”, “The Intruder”, “Adrift”, “Lifeline”
Three Sunrises
By Rocky
1. Always Darkest Before the Dawn
It had been a long night, or more accurately, several very long nights in a row. Ever since long-distance scanners had confirmed their worst fears, that a Wraith armada was heading their way, Atlantis had been at high alert. Elizabeth Weir couldn’t remember eating, let alone sleeping for any amount of time more than a few minutes snatched here and there. Her attention was required everywhere, it seemed—every time she turned around, someone was there to hand her a report, ask a question, deliver more bad news.
She was tired.
And the news had been, at best, a mixed bag. Yes, McKay had succeeded in bringing the Ancient orbital weapons platform on-line, and even managed to take out one of the Hive ships. But the cost had been the destruction of the orbital weapon—and the life of Peter Grodin, trapped onboard while the others could only watch helplessly as the platform exploded. Weir’s association with Grodin had predated the assignment to Atlantis; over the years they’d become friends, more than simply work colleagues. She would miss Grodin’s wry, British sense of humor, his wickedly funny synopses of the absurdities of life in the Pegasus galaxy. But now he was dead and she couldn’t even spare him more than a moment, standing with her head bowed and her eyes closed. “Godspeed, Peter,” she’d whispered, and then she had to deal with the ongoing crisis at hand. Two more Wraith ships bearing down on Atlantis, no defenses to stave them off.
She’d given the order for evacuation to the Alpha Site—ignoring the twinge of regret at abandoning Atlantis, giving only a passing thought to the difficulty they’d had in locating a planet that could remotely be considered a safe haven. She’d given the order to prepare for the destruction of Atlantis itself—and the Ancient database. More twinges at the thought of losing all that precious knowledge. After nearly a year of study, they’d still only managed to scratch the surface; so much more was waiting to be discovered, and now they would never get the chance.
She was also exasperated.
At the Athosians, who insisted that it would be wrong i.e. Sacrilege to destroy the City. In their minds, the Ancients were their revered Ancestors, mythical guardian spirits, destined to one day return to live among them once more. Even the chance of the Wraith finding their way to Earth was not worth the destruction of Atlantis.
At the Genii, masters of looking out for their own limited self-interest, even at the expense of the bigger picture of humanity’s survival—she’d gone to negotiate for use of their nuclear weapons in the face of the common threat of the Wraith. And she, master negotiator, had been taken hostage for her pains! Under normal circumstances, she’d have gladly left them to suffer the consequences of their own stupidity, but she’d needed them.
Just like she needed Colonel Everett and the Daedalus. Even as she bristled at his abrupt take-over of the plans for the survival of the City—while recognizing the military was better suited to organize the resistance and the battles to come, she had still smarted from his pre-emptory high-handedness.
And now, the first wave of the fight was over. Atlantis had sustained a lot of damage. Colonel Everett was in the infirmary, aged and weakened almost beyond recognition from his encounter with a Wraith. The casualty figures were high, both dead and missing. Among the latter—though she feared it was more correctly the former—was Lieutenant Aiden Ford. The worst of it was the knowledge that they’d won the battle, but the war still hung in the balance. She took a deep breath, trying to stave off the feeling of despair that engulfed her.
“Hey.”
She looked up, hastily dashing her hands over her eyes. “Yes, John?” she said, as Sheppard slouched in her doorway. “What can I do for you?”
“I want you to come with me,” he said.
“Where?” An icy feeling promptly plunged her stomach to her heels. It had to be more bad news. “Oh, God, what’s happened now?”
“It’s not like that,” Sheppard said reassuringly. “I just want to show you something.”
“I don’t really have the time—“ she began, only to have him take her arm and propel her out the door.
“Where are we going?” she asked, hurrying to keep up with the fast pace he’d set. He never slowed or released her arm.
“Just a bit more.”
They exited through the scored metal door, hanging loosely on its twisted hinges, onto one of the main balconies off the Control Tower.
“Here,” Sheppard said and gestured laconically outward.
Looking at the buildings surrounding them, she saw fresh evidence—as if she’d needed it—of how badly Atlantis had suffered during the attack. Blackened and scorched walls, crumbling edifices—the damage was even more extensive than she’d been led to believe. Plumes of smoke drifted everywhere, no doubt from the several small fires that were still burning here and there.
“Not there, here,” Sheppard said, and tipped her head in the direction he was pointing.
Confused, she followed his gaze. In that direction all she could see was the ocean. The dull gray waves, lapping on the shore; now, at high tide, engulfed most of the ruined piers. Even as she watched, however, a rosy tinge of color swept through the sea, hesitantly at first, and then intensifying, transforming the waves into a multi-hued, glittering entity. She looked up to see the sky lightening to a pearly gray, then pink and gold that gradually faded into blue.
She tore her eyes away from the vista and focused on Sheppard’s inscrutable expression. “That’s it? You brought me out here to see the sunrise?”
He nodded. “I figured you probably could use a break, and besides, when’s the last time you took the time to watch a new day begin?”
The corners of her mouth quirked up, despite herself. His attempt was so transparent. “The old ‘where there’s life there’s hope’ cliché, John?”
“Well, where there’s light at any rate,” he said, leaning forward and sniffing deeply of the salt tang carried on the air. She remembered reading reports of how dark it was in the interior of a Wraith vessel. Turning to face her once more, he added, “I’d say I’m probably a good example of that myself.”
She was reminded once again—as if she needed reminding—how close they’d come to losing him, how she had been sure they had lost him when he’d gone on that suicidal mission in the Jumper to destroy the Hive ship.
Continuing his train of thought, Sheppard went on, “We beat the odds this time, Elizabeth. We’re still here.”
“Not all of us,” she couldn’t help saying, feeling once more the pain of all the losses they’d sustained.
“No, not all of us,” he conceded, “but we still saved a lot more than any of us had thought possible, yesterday or two days ago. And we will continue to beat the odds, you’ve gotta believe that.”
She looked at him then, really seeing him for the first time since his return. His eyes were red-rimmed and exhausted, his chin and cheeks covered with stubble, his habitually messy hair standing on end. His expression echoed so many of the other faces she’d seen around her—worn down, but not defeated.
Suddenly, it struck her that she was wallowing in doom and gloom, not to mention self-pity. Neither of which she could indulge in for her own mental health, let alone as the leader of Atlantis. “You’re right,” she said.
He flashed her a grin. “Of course I am.”
She forced a smile, and then realized that it wasn’t so forced after all. She tipped her head back, closing her eyes against the brilliance of the sunlight on the water, savoring the warmth for an additional moment.
And then they both went back inside, to the never-ending tasks that awaited them, to plan for the next step in the war.
2. Saying Goodbye
“When were you going to tell me?”
Simon’s hands paused in the midst of pouring the wine. “What do you mean?” he asked, suddenly quite still. “Tell you about what?”
“That you hadn’t yet signed the non-disclosure form, of course,” Elizabeth said, with a slight laugh.
“Oh, that.” He recommenced pouring the wine and handed her the glass.
“Yes, that,” she said, taking a sip and savoring the taste. Even though she’d been back on Earth for two weeks, she was still getting used to all the little pleasures she’d once taken for granted. “Honestly, Simon, you know you can’t join the Atlantis expedition without doing so. Even though you already have the necessary security clearance, you still need to sign.”
He smiled tightly. “I know, I know. I suppose I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Well, you’d better, you know. I’m only going to be on Earth for another few days, and I fully intend on bringing all the new personnel back with me.”
Simon disappeared into the kitchen. “Need any help in there?” Elizabeth called.
“No, I’ve got everything.”
“You heard him, Sedge,” Elizabeth said to the large shaggy dog regarding her with soulful eyes. “He’s got everything under control, as usual. So no sense trying to make me feel guilty just sitting here like a lady of leisure while the man of the house slaves away.” Sedge gave a yip. “I’ll take that as an agreement.”
Simon bustled in, carrying a large tray laden with serving dishes which he expertly set down on the dining table. “Dinner is served.”
“You’ve really gone to a lot of trouble, Simon,” Elizabeth said, taking her seat and shaking out her napkin. “There was no need, you know—I’d have been happy with pizza or Chinese take-out.”
“Not much of a chance of getting those in the Pegasus galaxy, I suppose,” Simon said, passing dishes.
“Not at all.”
“Well, I wanted to make this meal special,” Simon said.
“And I do appreciate your efforts,” she reassured him. “This beef Stroganoff is divine.”
“Thank you.”
They ate together in silence for a bit, easy in their long-standing companionship. Though dining together like this was still a rarity for them, despite the many years of their relationship. Even before Elizabeth had gotten involved with the Stargate project, she had constantly been on the go as one of the U.N.’s top negotiators. Africa, the Middle East, the former republics of the Soviet Union…And Simon, aside from a stint as a medical doctor in one of the U.N. refugee camps in Africa (where they’d first met), had been content to stay in the D.C. area, lecturing at Georgetown and maintaining a small private practice.
“This is all very nice,” she said, putting aside her napkin and clasping his hand across the table. “I’ve missed you. Just spending time together like this, with no outside pressures.”
He moved away his hand. “I’ve missed you, too, Elizabeth.” He quickly stood. “I’ll just bring in dessert.”
“Wait a moment,” she said. “You didn’t really answer me, earlier, when I asked you about the non-disclosure form, Simon. When were you going to tell me? Surely you knew I’d find out when going through the new personnel lists.”
Simon hesitated, a troubled expression flitting across his face. But it quickly vanished. “You’re right, I should have told you.”
“That you’re having second thoughts about coming to Atlantis?” she asked, confident of his answer.
“Yes,” he said flatly.
“You’re serious? You really are not sure about taking on the position of a staff physician?” Elizabeth sat back in shock. “But why? Because I’m the head of the expedition? I told you, you wouldn’t be reporting directly to me but to Dr. Carson Beckett, who’s probably the most easy-going and sweetest person I’ve ever met…” Her voice trailed off.
“Elizabeth,” Simon said quietly. “I suppose I should have told you, when you first got back. But you were so excited to be back on Earth, and after what you’d just been through with the Wraith attack…I just couldn’t do that to you. Not then.”
She looked up to see his gray-blue eyes fixed on hers, sympathetic and yet pleading for her understanding. “You’re not coming with me, are you?” she said.
“No,” he said quietly. “I’m not.”
“Why?” she insisted. “Simon, I know the past few years have been tough on you; it’s not easy carrying on a long-distance relationship—and that’s on Earth, let alone when one person is stationed in another galaxy entirely. But that’s why your taking this assignment is so perfect for both of us—for the first time in years we would be in the same place, at the same time. You’d be perfect for Atlantis, with your background in infectious disease and public health and epidemiology. And you’d be working in a challenging new environment, making discoveries and doing things you’d never have the opportunity to do on Earth!”
“I know,” he said. “But I can’t, Elizabeth. I just can’t.”
“Are you afraid?” Realizing how that might sound, she rushed ahead to add, “No one could blame you if you were. Believe me, I know it sounds like we’ve been living on the edge of disaster, constantly in fear for our lives from the Wraith. I’m not saying they don’t present a risk, but after their attempted invasion and defeat, they’re much less of a threat than they have been since our expedition first arrived. And the other people in the Pegasus galaxy—we’ve got allies, friends there. There’s nothing to be worried about as far as personal safety is concerned.'”
“Elizabeth—”
She rushed on, eager to disprove his concerns. “If you’re worried about the amenities, Atlantis is a modern city, heck, it’s much more advanced than anything we’ve got on Earth! We’ve barely begun to study the advances the Ancients made in so many fields—“
“Elizabeth,” he said again. “I can’t go. I can’t leave Earth.”
“Why not?”
He sighed heavily. “I’ve met someone else.”
Time seemed to stop for her then. She looked at him, at the man she knew so well and for so many years. “You’ve met someone else,” she repeated dully. “Who is she?”
“She’s an employee at the university,” he said, his words coming rapidly. “We’ve been acquaintances for a while, but over the past year, well, we started growing closer.”
She closed her eyes, taking in the impact of what he was saying. She heard the scrape of his chair on the floor, heard his footsteps and felt him stand behind her, place his hands on her shoulders.
“You were gone, Elizabeth. You vanished through that bloody worm hole, off to another galaxy and never sent back word if you were alive or dead! Months and months went by, but nothing was ever heard from you!”
“We couldn’t send a message!”
“And when I did finally hear from you, it was in the form of a recorded message telling me I should move on with my life!” She could hear the pain in his voice. “What was I supposed to think, Elizabeth? What would you have had me do?”
She pulled her chair around to face him. The hot words which had bubbled to her lips suddenly died. What would she have had him do? Wait for her for forever? Despite her brave words earlier, their existence in Atlantis the first year had been precarious for most of the time. And when they’d taped their letters home, it had been with the knowledge that the Wraith attack was imminent. They hadn’t expected to live through it. They almost didn’t live through it. He was right. She had cut him loose, and she had no right to be angry with him for taking her at her word.
She closed her eyes once more, in sudden grief.
“Elizabeth.” Simon knelt beside her, and gently wiped away her tears. “I’m sorry. I was trying to think of a way to tell you that wouldn’t cause you so much pain, but I suppose there wasn’t such a way.”
“No, I don’t think there is,” she said, trying to gain control of her emotions. She pushed away his hands and got to her feet. “Well, I don’t think there’s much point in my staying any longer, is there? I should get back.”
“Wait,” he said. “There’s no need for you to rush off like this.” He forced a smile. “After all, we haven’t even had dessert yet.”
Screw dessert, she thought to herself. Out loud, she said, “I’m sorry, Simon, but I seem to have lost my appetite.”
Sledge nosed at her worriedly when she picked up her bag, and another thought struck her. What would she do about Sedge? The dog had been living happily with Simon while she was away; even before she had ever left Earth, Sledge had always stayed here whenever she had to travel.
“Sedge is welcome to stay here, of course,” Simon said, as if reading her thoughts. “I love him, you know. This is his home and I would never—“
“Thank you,” Elizabeth whispered, as she buried her hands in the dog’s fur. Sedge licked her face and barked sharply as if he knew this was farewell. Briefly, Elizabeth wondered if Simon’s new girlfriend liked animals. She dismissed the thought as irrelevant. This breakup was for the best, she told herself. She would be leaving Earth in a matter of days. And once more, who knew how long it would be till she returned. If ever.
Simon walked her to the door. “Elizabeth, I just want to say… good luck. Keep yourself safe.”
“I will. Take care, Simon.” She walked out quickly, not daring to look back.
Outside it was dark. Elizabeth glanced at her watch, surprised to see it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. Mechanically, she made her way back to her hotel room. She had time to pack; truth be told, she hadn’t really unpacked, as she was only in Washington for a few days for some top-secret meetings at the Pentagon. She resolved to call the airline and see if she could change her flight back to Colorado Springs for an earlier time.
The next morning, dawn was just breaking over the horizon as Elizabeth boarded the plane. The sun’s rays—more orange than Lantea’s sun—lit up the clouds with golden fire. As full of sadness as she was at the end of her relationship with Simon, the cutting of her final ties with her former life on Earth, Elizabeth felt her heart lift infinitesimally as she thought of returning to Atlantis. There was a lot of work to do, a lot of rebuilding—and with the Wraith threat temporarily shelved, a chance for new discoveries in the city of the Ancients.
A new beginning. She was ready for one.
3. Icarus
“This was a very bad idea,” Elizabeth Weir said, fighting down rising panic as she sat up on the edge of the gurney in the infirmary. She was echoing, if she had known it, exactly what John Sheppard had said a few minutes earlier.
“We didn’t have a choice,” Dr. Keller said earnestly. “You were dying. The intracranial pressures—there was no other way to save you.”
“So you decided to reactivate the nanites in my body?” Weir stared wildly around her. “Don’t you understand? I’m a security risk! It would be so easy for Oberoth and the other Replicators to take me over!”
Almost against her will, she reached out with her mind. She didn’t feel any different than she always had. But would she even be able to tell if something were to change?
“You’ve got to reverse the process!” Weir insisted.
“Calm down,” McKay said, in his best soothing manner, which truth be told wasn’t very soothing at all. “I’ve reprogrammed them. The nanites were able to revive you, heal your injuries, but that’s it. They can’t contact any of the other Replicators. They just can’t.”
“All right,” Weir said, trying to calm down. “I’m recovered now. Deactivate them.”
“Uh, we can’t exactly do that, Elizabeth,” McKay said, glancing down at his ever-present laptop. “You see, they repaired the damage you sustained, but they couldn’t rebuild the tissue out of organic raw materials.”
“You’re part Replicator now,” Ronon said bluntly.
Weir’s stomach plummeted somewhere into her shoes. “You shouldn’t have done that!”
“Would you rather be dead?” McKay said, exasperated.
Sheppard held up his hand. “All right, quiet down, everybody. Elizabeth, the decision was made in the heat of the moment. We’re not going to deactivate the nanites now. We can’t. This whole thing has gone too far for that.” Weir understood. It was one thing to choose to let her die of her injuries. It was another matter entirely to simply shut down the nanites now. “The point is, you’re here—and alive--now.”
Weir took a deep breath, striving to calm down. First lesson of command: make do with the hand you’ve been dealt. “OK. But at the first sign of anything going wrong—”
“I promise, I’ll deactivate the nanites immediately!” promised McKay.
She was quickly brought up to speed on their situation. Atlantis had managed to lift off from the planet, through the use of the asteroid as a temporary deflector against the Replicator beam. But the protection hadn’t been 100%; the same glancing blow that had caused the crumbling of the side of the Control Tower (and her near-fatal injuries) had also affected their hyperspace drive. As a result, Atlantis had dropped out of hyperspace too soon. Colonel Ellis and the Apollo would have no idea where to look for them.
They were “lost” in space—and continuing to bleed energy.
“It always comes down to energy,” Weir muttered to herself. “Just once, I wish we didn’t have to worry about…” She trailed off when she saw Teyla approach. If the Athosian woman had overheard, she gave no sign.
“Too bad we can’t just pick up a spare Z.P.M. or two,” said Ronon.
“They’re not exactly in abundant supply in this neck of the woods,” said Sheppard, running his hand through his hair. “Even assuming we could figure out where we are.”
“Oh, but we have,” said McKay, in surprise. He quickly launched into an explanation. “You see, when we dropped out of hyperspace—“
“So the next question is,” cut in Sheppard, “Anyplace nearby we can find a Z.P.M.? Other than just doing random searches? Assuming we could even get to a habitable planet?”
“Yes,” said McKay. “What I was going to say, is that we’re actually not too far away from the Asuran homeworld.”
“You want to drop in on the Replicator planet and steal a Z.P.M.?” said Sheppard in surprise.
“Why not? We know they’ve got them. And they have no idea that we’re here.”
“How are we going to locate a Z.P.M. without being captured?” said Sheppard. “And, minor detail, how will we get there, seeing as how Atlantis isn’t exactly going anyplace for the foreseeable future?”
“That’s the beauty of it,” said McKay. “We’ve got an ‘in’,” he finished up, looking straight at Weir.
“This is a very bad idea.”
“I’m telling you, it’ll work!”
“At the first sign of any trouble—“
“I know, I know, but there isn’t going to be any trouble!”
How many times had they had this conversation, Weir wondered. And yet, the plan seemed to work. They took a cloaked Jumper to the Asuran homeworld. She was able to connect to the Replicator datanet, able to direct Sheppard and Ronon to the location of a Z.P.M., able to warn them of any approaching Replicators.
Yes, it seemed to work. At first.
And then McKay discovered the piece of Replicator code that was designed to program them to fight against the Wraith.
“We’ve got the Z.P.M.!” insisted Sheppard. “Now we’ve got to get out of here!”
Weir heartily agreed. The sooner she was away from the Replicator planet, the better. With each passing minute, she could almost hear their exact thoughts; the hum of the Asurans was like a siren call, a shining beacon bidding her to follow. She could no more resist than she could resist the pull of the sun. ..She recoiled in disgust and fear at what she had been about to do, what would be so easy for her to do…
“But if we can do this, it’ll change the course of the war against the Wraith!” McKay said excitedly. “Just think of what this will mean!”
Weir opened her mouth to protest. A memory niggled at the back of her brain, in line with what she had just been thinking about. Overreaching, flying too close to the sun…
“We’ll never get another chance like this!”
And so, they went along with the new plan. Weir reached out once more with her mind, making contact with the Collective Replicator consciousness.
But it quickly became apparent that they had stayed too long. Sheppard and Ronon were on the verge of being captured.
“Elizabeth! Wait! Where do you think you’re going?” shouted McKay as she left the Jumper.
“I’ve got to save them!” Weir called over her shoulder. She prayed he wouldn’t take this ‘rogue’ behavior on her part as a sign to deactivate her nanites. “I’m the only one who can do this!”
The sound of McKay’s curses died out as she sped on her way. There was no room for fear in her anymore; nothing was left but grim determination. She knew exactly where to find her men. And who was standing in her way.
“Dr. Weir,” said Oberoth, looming over her. “I did not expect to find you here.”
The battle was joined. Weir fought back with all her strength, but Oberoth was too powerful. By drawing on every bit of strength she had, she was able to force him into an illusion, make him think he’d already captured her team. Sweat popped out on her forehead as she struggled to maintain the upper hand. But slowly, slowly, her will began to weaken.
Not yet, Weir thought. It’s too soon! I’ve got to hold out, just a little longer.
Sheppard, the real one, rounded the corner and came upon the tableau of Weir locked in a struggle with Oberoth.
“Elizabeth!” he called.
Not once taking her eyes off Oberoth, Weir called, “Get to the Jumper.”
Sheppard kept advancing toward her. “You’re coming with us.”
Dimly, she was aware of a blast being fired, of it hitting Oberoth and having no effect.
“Go!” she yelled. “I can’t keep the Replicators frozen much longer!”
“Damn it, we’re not leaving you behind!” said Sheppard.
“If you don’t leave right now, none of us will get out of here, so go!” She risked turning her head slightly towards Sheppard, to make him understand. “That’s an order!”
But the momentary distraction broke her concentration. Oberoth dropped her hand from his forehead. Behind him, a blast from a Replicator weapon headed toward Ronon. He managed to duck the shot and turned to run. He grabbed Sheppard’s arm. “Come on!”
Sheppard, obviously torn, cried out, “Elizabeth!”
More Replicators were approaching. Weir yelled again, “Go!”
She watched as they raced down the corridor. With every fiber of her being, she willed them on to safety.
The Replicators surrounded her. Her last sight was of a hand rapidly moving toward her forehead.
Six point seven hours later, the sun rose on the Asuran homeworld, designed to be a twin of Atlantis. But the essence of Elizabeth Weir was no longer there to see it or to marvel at its beauty.
She had become one of the enemy.
FINIS