- Q: Why does it say TGIF on a blonde's shoes? Answer: Toes Go In First.
- Q: Why did the blonde girl put make-up on her forehead? Answer: She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.
- Q:Why did the foreman at the M & M factory have to fire the blonde lady? Answer: She was throwing away the W's.
- Q: What's the definition of a metallurgist? Answer: A man who can tell if a platinum blonde is virgin metal or common ore.
- Q: What's six inches long, has a bald head on it, and drives female blondes wild? Answer: A hundred-dollar bill.
- Q: What do blondes use for dental floss? Answer: Pubic hair. <--- This joke is dedicated to all those people who are airheads.
- Q:What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde? Answer: You get to park in the Handicapped Zone.
- Q: What have you gotten when you line up ten blondes ear to ear? Answer: A wind tunnel.
- Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Answer: Gifted.
- Q: What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brown? Answer: Artificial Intelligence.
- Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Answer: An interpreter.
- Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Answer: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
- Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Answer: Pull the pin and throw it back.
- Q: Why did a blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Answer: Because on the box it said: From 2-4
years.
- Q: What did a blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? Answer: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
- A female blonde walks into a appliance shop and asks the manager, "Can I have that tv over there?" He says " No, we don't serve
blondes." So she gets a red wig. She goes back in and asks, "Sir, could I have that tv over there?" The guy says, "No, we don't serve blondes." So she gets a brounet wig. She goes back in and asks, "Can I have that tv over there?" He says, " No, we don't serve blondes." She says, "I've worn a red AND brounet wig, how did you know I was a blonde?" Then he says, " Because that is a microwave, not a tv..."
<-- Joke was submitted to me by Comet Star.
- Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? Answer: So GUYS can remember them. ( sorry pals, couldn't resist the jest, hehehe )
- Q: Why don't blondes make Kool-Aid? Answer: They can't fit eight cups of water in the package.
- Q: Why do blondes smile when they see lightning? Answer: They think their picture is being taken.
- A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she
doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until
we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm
smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have
to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She
immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move.
The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
- Q: Why did the blonde sit in a tree? Answer: So she could call herself a branch manager.
- Q: What does a blonde think 7-11 is? Answer: An emergency number.
- Q: What does a blonde say after you blow in her ear? Answer: "Thanks for the refill."
- Q: How do you burn a blonde's ear? Answer: Call her when she's ironing.
- Q:How do you burn the blonde's other ear? Answer: Call her again.
- Q: What do you call twenty blondes in a circle? Answer: A dope ring.
- Q: How did the blonde die from drinking milk? Answer: The cow fell on her.
- Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?Answer: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
- Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? Answer: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a grocery cart? Answer: Grocery carts have a mind of their own.
- Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? Answer: A mental block.
- Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle? Answer: Rebel without a clue.
- Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? Answer: A thought.
- Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Answer: Data transfer.
- Q: Why do blondes have more fun? Answer: They are easier to keep amused.
- Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? Answer: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask
for directions.
- Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? Answer: They're both empty from the neck up.
- Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? Answer: The back of her head.
- Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? Answer: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
- Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it
up? Answer: The dumb blonde, duh. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and a smart blonde don't really exist.
- Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? Answer: She missed...
- The normal rooster says "Cockadoodledoo", a retarded rooster says "Doodlecockadoo", but what does the blonde rooster say?
Answer: "Anycock'lldoo"
- Did you hear about the blonde who thought he discovered that he had a twin brother? Answer: He didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.
- A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's
easy: W."
- Two blondes are walking down the street: One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it; looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
- Q: What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? Answer: "Is it mine?"
- Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
Answer: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
- Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Answer: Change.
- Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? Answer: An Air Bag.
- Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? Answer: With a tire gauge!
- Q: How do you drown a blond? Answer: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
- Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Answer: Because she got an F in sex.
- Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg. Answer: Nothing - they've never met.
- Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? Answer: She moved.
- Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
Answer: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
- Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers license?
Answer: She wasn't used to the front seat!
- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container for so long? Answer: Because it said concentrate.
- Q: There are three girls, all in 3rd grade: one is a brunette, one is a redhead, and one is a blonde. Which one of them has the best body? Answer: The blonde, because she's 19 years old
- Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911? Answer: They can't find eleven on the phone!
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