- Q: What's the difference between a fly and bird? Answer: A fly can fly but a bird can't bird.
- Q: What did the fly say to the flypaper? Answer: I'm stuck on you.
- Q: What did the male mushroom say to the female mushroom? Answer: I'm a fun-gi!
- Q: Why are frogs only happy eating? Answer: They eat whatever bugs them.
- Q: How do you get a mouse to fly? Answer: Buy it an airplace ticket.
- Q: Why are spiders like tops? Answer: Because they are always spinning.
- Q: What do you call nervous insects? Answer: Jitterbugs.
- Q: What goes snap, crackle, pop? Answer: A firefly with a short circuit.
- Q: Why was the fly dancing on top of a Coke bottle? Answer: 'Cuz it said twist to open.
- Q: Do cows give milk? Answer: NO, we take it from them.
- Q: What proof do we have that carrots are good for your eyes? Answer: You don't see rabbits wearing glasses!
- Q: During what season do ants eat the most? Answer: Summer. That's when they go on a lot of picnics.
- Q: What is the worst day of the week for fish? Answer: Fry-day.
- Q: What is a grasshoppper? Answer: A bug on a pogo stick.
- Q: What is a frogs favorite drink? Answer: Croak a Cola.
- Q: What did one insect say to the other insect? Answer: "Stop buggin me!"
- Q: What did one worm say to another worm? Answer: Wish me luck, I'm off to the BIG APPLE.
- Q: Why do birds fly south? Answer: 'Cuz it's too far to walk!
- Q: How do you spell mouse trap in 3 letters? Answer: C-A-T
- Q: What has fifty legs but can't walk? Answer: Half a centipede.
- Q: A duck walked into a drug store to buy chapstick. The clerk asked, " Do you want it on your credit card? Duck said, "No, just put it on
my bill."
- Q: What kind of school did King Kong go to? Answer: A high school, a very HIGH school.
- Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano? Answer: You can't tuna fish.
- Q: What says 'quick, quick'? Answer: A duck with hiccups.
- Q: What do you give an elephant with big feet? Answer: Plenty of room.
- Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Answer: Hailing taxis
- Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a parrot? Answer: An animal that talks your head off.
- Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing ear-muffs?Answer: Anything you like, he can't hear you.
- Q: What kind of cats like to go bowling? Answer: Alley cats.
- Q: What do you call a fly with no wings? Answer: A walk.
- Q: What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Answer: Lost!
- Q: What do you get if you run over a bird with a lawnmower? Answer: Shredded tweet.
- Q: What goes tick, tick, woof, woof? Answer: A watch dog.
- Q: Why don't bats live alone? Answer: They like to hang around with their friends.
- Q: What goes dot-dot-dash-dash-squeak? Answer: Mouse code.
- Q: What happened to the cow who went for a drive? Answer: He got a moo-ving violation.
- Q: What do you give a snake with allergies? Answer: Anti-hiss-tamines.
- Q: What did Squirtle say to Clefairy about Charmander today? Answer: Boy, he really was on fire today!
- Q: What kind of dog eats water? Answer: A Chew-Wa-Wa.
- A guy took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
The vet stepped back and said, "Sir, why should I do such a terrible thing?" The guy said, "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow,
and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
- Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs? Answer: A cloud.
- Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Answer: If they flew over bays then they would be bagels.
- Q: What bird can lift the most weight? Answer: The Crane.
- Q: What did the boy octupus say to the girl octupus? Answer: I want to hold you're hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
- Q: How do you keep a dog off the road? Answer: Put the dog in a parking lot!
- Q: Where does sheep go to get a haircut? Answer: At a baa-baa shop.
- Q: How does a dentist examine a alligators teeth? Answer: Very carefully.
- Q: Where does a beaver keep his money? Answer: In a river bank.
- Q: What does a dog say when it sits on sand paper? Answer: Ruuuff!
- A fella found a giraffe and wasn't quite sure what to do with the animal. A pal said to go to the zoo so he went to the zoo. The next day the
fella ran into his pal and his pal said, " Didn't you take the giraffe to the zoo?" Yup!" said the fella. "Now I'm taking it to the movies!"
- Q: Where does a 2 ton gorilla sits at the movies? Answer: Anywhere it wants!
- Q: When should you feed a baby with tiger's milk? Answer: When the baby is a baby tiger.
- Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parret? Answer: A walkie-talkie.
- Q: What animal can jump higher than a house? Answer: Any animal, a house can't jump.
- Q: What does Tigger say when he looks into a toilet? Answer: Pooh
- Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Answer: Time to get a new fence.
- 1st person: Did ya hear about the rabbit that got it's whole left side cut off? 2nd person: No, is the rabbit OK? 1st person: Yeah,
the rabbit is all RIGHT now.
- Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?Answer: Bare-foot.
- Q: What do you do if a bird craps on your car? Answer: Don't ask her out again.
- Q: How does a crazy bird keep track of time? Answer: It uses a cuckoo clock!
- Q: What's big, scary, has sharp claws and lives in your toaster? Answer: A Velocirap-tart.
- Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors? Answer: Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
- Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? Answer: Ground beef.
- Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Answer: Stick his bill up his butt.
- Q: What do you call a fish without an eye? Answer: A fsh.
- Q: Are skunks good at games? Answer: No. They stink at everything.
- Q: Why couldn't the pony talk? Answer: He was a little horse
- Q: What do you call a pet that spends most of its day on the floor? Answer: A carpet.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a timepiece with a terrier? Answer: A watchdog.
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