We both thought we’d found the one; our other half, our raison d’être.
But then you were gone.
When it started, and we felt these feelings…I thought perhaps it was a passing lust that was making me feel so empty whenever you weren’t looking at me, much less near me in some way. You later told me you’d felt the same, but it matters little now. How I loathe the time wasted treating my own feelings with disdain for the sake of my mother and society, as though they were my greatest weakness, when truly, they, and you, were my greatest strength.
You made me feel human again.
I was no longer just some doll to be dressed and married off.
You guided my morality as I guided yours. We made each other better people because of our fear of disappointing one another. I cut back on my sarcasm and suicidal tendencies, you on your gambling.
You taught me how to love, and how to be loved. To accept another’s care and affection, and for that alone, I would have loved you forever. But that wasn’t it. That wasn’t the extent of what could be defined as us. You were there for me when I needed you, like you had some kind of mood ring tuned in to me and my emotions, but not only my emotions. My thoughts. It was like you knew my every thought and feeling as quickly, and often even more quickly than I did myself.
And sometimes…
Sometimes I felt maybe I could read you just as well. Maybe be were connected on a level nobody else could understand. That we were so alike that we’d never truly fight, but different enough to keep things interesting…
But like I said, you went away. And I was alone, and I lived, just like you’d asked me to. Like I’d promised. I grieved all my life for you, but somewhere along the way I found love again. Never as true or powerful as ours had been, but he took care of me. He gave me wonderful children, who, in turn, granted me grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but he was never you. I loved him, but he knew he never had, never could have, all of me.
But it hardly matters now. I’m sure you saw it all unfold, like you promised. I’m sure it was with your help that my family survived. Through illnesses and accidents, you were watching over us. Over me.
I know it’s time now, though. And I can feel you near me more potently than I have in years. I feel I can almost smell you near me. You’d faded into the background to let me live and take care of my family, but you’d never truly left. I felt you when I needed to and now I’ll be with you again.
It’s been sixty-one years since I’ve seen you. Seventy-eight years of age and I’ve had a good life, full of good friends and fond memories, but I’m ready. In a way, I think I’ve always been ready.
For you.
For us.
For eternity on the ship of dreams.
Forever.
Jack.
The End.