THE COST OF BEING RICH
Chapter Fourteen
It was such a rush. The steward came in, and
insisted that we must leave the stateroom, and then we were told to go to so
many places where we would be safe, and it never even hit what exactly was
happening. All I could think about was what Rose had done to me. I wanted to be
a good person. But she used me to get what she wanted. And, when she saw I made
no real protest, she saw that she herself was not happy. So, she went to the
next available person. Dawson. And he had seen the angelic side of her only.
The one I saw before Hiber’s death. And it would do him a world of good never
to see her again because the bad side would appear the moment he offered her
something she wanted.
*****
"I saw the iceberg, Mr. Andrews. And I
see it in your eyes. Please tell me the truth." We were in the A-deck
foyer, and Rose was talking to Mr. Andrews. This is a fact that I simply know.
Not something I truly remember.
"The ship will sink," Mr. Andrews
had said. But I don’t know what impact it had on me. Maybe I had no emotions at
all at that point.
"You’re certain?" Rose’s worried
tone again.
"Yes. In an hour or so...all this...will
be at the bottom of the Atlantic."
I don’t know what sparked the burst of
emotion, and I’m not sure whether I thought or said aloud, "My God."
*****
My head was abuzz for I don’t know how long.
We half-walked, were half-led, to the boat
deck.
Lightoller was loading a boat near us; I
believe it was boat 6.
We approached the throng of people saying
their good-byes. I watched them all. They were all loved. They all cared about
each other.
I dimly heard Molly Brown say, "Come on.
You heard the man. Get in the boat, sister."
And Ruth, her voice like pounding drums in my
burning ears. "Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they’re
not too crowded--"
"Oh, Mother. Shut up!" All
sound except for Rose’s voice disappeared. "Don’t you understand? The
water is freezing and there aren’t enough boats...not by half. Half of the
people on this ship are going to die."
I had listened to her little speech intently.
My anger fueled with every word she said. She knew we would all get off safely.
How could her cold heart care about everything except what cared about her
most? But that’s no excuse. For as long as I live, and maybe even after, I
don’t know, I will regret what I said next. "Pity I didn’t keep that
drawing. It’s going to be worth a lot more by morning."
I realized what a complete idiot I was just
as Rose turned her gaze on me. I saw the sorrow and compassion in them. But it
wasn’t for me. Why wasn’t it for me?
"You unimaginable bastard." She
thrust the words at me cruelly. I don’t know if she meant them, but she knew
that it would hurt me.
Molly, once more. "Come on, Ruth. Get in
the boat. These are the first class seats right up here. That’s it." When
Ruth was in, Molly looked around and spotted Rose. "Come on, Rose. You’re
next, darlin’"
Rose stepped back, shaking her head.
We must have all urged her to get in the
boat, but the scene is fuzzy to me.
But I remember how Rose had turned to Ruth
and stared her straight in the eye. Hope and fear sparked from Ruth’s eyes. And
I swear to you I saw the tiniest hint of a smile as Rose looked into them.
"Good-bye, Mother."