This here is the FAQ, or frequently asked questions page.  It is pronounced "fack," as in "gah fack yerself, y'smag little bastid!"  I hope it answers any questions you may have about the site, so you won't have to ask me and risk getting another reason to hate me.  Feel free to ask any questions that aren't listed here.  Or... don't.  No one reads this part anyway.  I can type whatever I want.  Pershflibble bimpen storpf erp ollenollen ulllg?  I agree.

how old r u?

I prefer not to give out my age for fear that I may be judged based on it.

r u gay?

Wha...?  What kind of a question is that?!

well r u?

I refuse to answer any questions from someone who can't even type out the words "are" and "you."

oh so tahts how it is.  are you gay?

Get someone else!  I don't like these questions!

What is your real name?

Much like my age, I don't like to give out my real name either, though this is mainly because I think it's a stupid name and also because I don't want my parents to search for that name and find this site.

Yeah?  Well what kind of a stupid wussy gay name is "Roneldo?"

I'm glad you asked that.  You see, when I first chose the name "Roneldo," it was because America OnLine would not accept the name "Ronaldo," which I wanted for some reason, unless I put an absurd number in it, and this was before they accepted "long" screennames, so I chose to adopt an "e," and to tell the truth, I like it better this way.


...Even so, when I chose the name "Roneldo" I had not considered the unfortunate possibility that some might shorten it to something like "Ron," or even in one case, "Ronnie."

Shut up.

...Ahhh, yes.  I remember Ronnie, that kid who lived in the house on the other side of the fence behind our house.  He had the biggest collection of toy guns I had ever seen.  Of course, it was the only collection of toy guns I had ever seen, but still, that was a lot.  

I don't care.

...I remember how he and his friends would stand on the pile of pipes and cinderblocks next to the fence to taunt us and throw things in our yard.  If you ever attempted to get him back in some way, he would warn you about his cousin who was "fifteen years old" or even his dad, who was "a cop."


I don't think that qualifies as a question.

Fine, fine.  What's up with your colors?  Are you fucking color-blind?

You don't need to use such language.  I chose the colours because I do not have much to offer in the way of content, so I thought I might as well make it pretty.  I may have failed miserably, but at the very least it's not bland.

Colours colours.  Why the hell do you have to put those 'U's in everything?  Are you trying to act cool by pretending you're Canadian?

This might have something to do with my fascination with the English.  Having an English father,  I was always told about things in ways slightly different than other children, which may have helped me to not become just another arrogant American.

Jeez, why does everything have to be a damn biography with you?

I have a question for you.  Why are you so nasty?

I'm not nasty, you're just such a fag that no one likes you.

What is this obsession with "gay" all of you people have?!  If you hate something it's gay and anyone who disagrees with you is also gay?!

Pretty much, yeah.

What a pathetic FAQ this is turning out to be.

Did you see the Yankee game last night?

Yankee what?  That's a descriptive term for someone from New England.

Baseball!  It's baseball, you dumbass!

Oh, that?  I don't like sports.


There you have it.  I hope you enjoyed this FAQ because, well, I didn't.

This facking waste of time was compiled and loaded into the Salad Shooter on 4/8/00 by the moron currently known as Roneldo.  And stuff.