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  Mea Culpa

For all the countless lives I’ve lived, For all the swords I’ve held
For the burning and the searing pain, For my episode in Hell
For all the deaths I have endured, For tears that I have wept
For all the lands I have dismissed and the truths that I have kept.

For all the lies I have uncovered, For teachings I have learnt
For all the days that shan’t be numbered, For bridges I have burnt.
For all the twining roads I’ve travelled, For faces I have met
For all the silent runes unravelled, For blood that I have let.

For all the actions I have chosen, For errs that have caused tears,
For all the sins I have committed, decisions made from fears.
For all the angry words imparted and all the mis-spent time
For all the guilt that I have caused, the faults that were all mine.

For all the souls I have encountered, For those I have caused pain,
Only one here was accountable, only one here was to blame.
For all the selfish failings of a lost self-righteous man
Only one mortal was culpable, only one has blood stained hands.

For all the actions spawned by my mad lustful quest for answers
For all the explanations dealt with cold hard ice-filled glances
For all the times I closed my ears to pleading heartfelt anguish
And swiftly choked the fires in hope my own would so extinguish

For all the wrong I justified in search of my lost innocence
The souls, the minds, the hearts and all I scourged in careless ignorance.
For all the love I murdered on my way to find salvation
And all those left to tend to wounds without an explanation.

I offer you these scant few lines in meagre reparation
An all too late apology, an act of expiation.
To seek atonement from you all by way of my concession
And so here write in black and white, mea culpa, my confession.

      velimir. J     27th July 2000                                


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