JOURNEY

[This journey is the beginning of journeys, the path of fate, the last, living road shining into the Night, into the Light.]

When I seek

the source of wisdom

the hand of the ancient Lady

born and bearing all that is—

I turn to a hole

in the side of a rocky, barren hill

where no-one climbs

without real reasons,

without fierce, unyielding need—

And as I turn to look within

wondering, in my empty, broken center

if Life is worth the pain

of seeking once again

an answer

to the undying

question –Why?

And I am gone.

And I look again within,

awake, afraid, yet still uncaring

if I live or die—

And I wait—

hoping some miraculous sign

will come to set me free

from doubt and empty

meaningless identity—

But there is only silence—

Why go deeper? – and, as the answer is

the question, turning 3 times round

I step into the antechamber of the ancient

ones—

taking a torch I light (and some that I don’t),

I move like a cloud nestling into the arms

of the mountain valley;

silent as the last intruder

on a valley devastated, abandoned

in despair and burning, heart-rending,

unspoken pain – left to the healing of the

wild ones—

On a path, narrow as my thread of hope,

I walk through crystal caverns,

jewelled hangings wrought

by water’s slow descent to darkness,

palaces of magic kings,

beings lost in legend to the eyes

of mortal men.

I walk in steps once taken

by the mothers of the mothers

and the fathers and the brothers,

seeking in the darkness

refuge or rebirth,

wisdom and relief

from life’s unending

circles (cycles);

hoping to find another

way to pass the

fiery swords at

the gates of Paradise.

And still, and still,

I wandered on

to a chamber far below—

An oaken door, black with age and bound with iron,

sat in Mystery? in challenge?

in Mockery? in Promise? Danger,

drudgery, or heart’s desire—

bound in fantasy,

lost in what-might-be, I wait—

until I reach,

moved by what unknowable

impulse of the heart

to open

what I’d sought

so long

and so blindly

Fearing and hoping to find Nothing;

Hoping and fearing to find

The Ancient Ones,

I pulled with all my strength its

great unmoving bulk – and

could move nothing,

time and time again—

sinking to the floor in my despair,

I wept and begged Heeaven, if

Heaven still existed in a world

so far away it was almost

forgotten –that my quest

would not be in vain—

And in silent, padding moves toward

me came a golden wolf,

eyes burning, as I cried his name in joy,

long-lost youth’s companion;

I did not wonder as he spoke:

“Long will we remember

this life’s meeting

and our journey’s way.”

As he stood beside me

power surged in rivers of fire

through my veins of frozen ice—

Power flowed from stone and air,

water and fire, heart and beast,

into my center,

filled once only

with bleak despair.

And I began the Song.

Song of Power

Song of Light

Song of Movement (Treasure)

Song of Night

Song of Seeking

Song of Finding

Song of Loving

Song of Life.

Power flows from every stone,

to my heart and to my nose

To my mouth and to my hand

To my ears and to my eyes

To my brain to make me wise.

Power flows from water’s stream

Gives me power of the dream

Gives me power to renew

Gives me love, creation’s fruit.

Power flows from air around

Gives me power song to find

Gives me power in my mind

Gives rebirth both in and out.

Power flows from fire before

Filling me with wild desire

Power from my chosen art

Power any path to find. (way we wish)

Power flows from the depths of Ku

To find the music’s perfect shape

To find the words that we have asked

To reach the holy place reborn.

Power flows in waves and Knots

Seeking only who to serve

Music’s call and poetry

art in movement, wrought or drawn (traced or not)

We are bound by Love’s own (deep) bonds

bound to fates we must fulfill

bound in other’s gifts to heal

bound to find our deepest dreams

as we feed the people’s hearts and minds.

Losing all, we find all gained

Holding nothing, our hearts are full;

Nothing beneath us, we dance on air;

Nothing behind us, (yet) we never despair;

Giving to others, our needs are fulfilled;

Lost in the dream, we create and rebuild;

Joy in creation gives joy to us all (All dreams).

The gifts we are given bring the gifts

we receive.

Life’s Love’s redemption, as we answer

the call.”

Wolf stood beside me—

The door (I) then sprang back

into the rock cave—

we walked as if sent –

I saw only darkness,

In spite of the fire

till I touched by companion

and felt his warmth there.

Then light seemed to shine

from the walls everywhere

A throne in the center

Though empty as air…

I heard a voice whisper

(was it my heart of pain?)

close your eyes,

trust the Pattern,

your gifts will remain.

In wonder and trust

I shut my eyes then,

and saw in the visions

a world born again.

I opened my eyes

with the lights everywhere

and saw on the dais

a woman in red -- hair

white as snowfall, blue eyes

and red cheeks – she smiled

at my fearful, astonished, blank gaze.

“Don’t fear, my darling,” the Ancient One said.

“You’ve traveled forever to find me tonight. I’ve

come here to help you, to guide – not to fight –

no block, stop or hindrance will stand in your

way – if you seek the heart’s wisdom as a guide

on your way.”

I could not then fathom – still scarcely

believe – that she sat there before me as

those seekers had said when I started

my journey (given up then for dead).

I asked her a question, she smiled and replied,

(Love?)

“The words you are seeking are phantoms

and lies. The truth is your feeling, in the

depths of your heart – you know the answer.

Just don’t play a part.”

I asked for a favor, a boon for our own. (Resources for the Band?)

She answered quite sadly, “It’s not what

You own. The use of the music belongs to the

gods. To seek in the world leaves you broken

on rocks. But faith in your pathway, the

journey you need – time’s healing will find

you the things that you need. Your love is the

root of your heart’s dark despair – when

light fills your life, what you wish will

be there.”

I asked for our art – music, writing and more —

the price we had paid (again), full evening the score –

our tragedies written, our grief flowing like

wine – would it all have been vain – what

would we find?

“I’d hoped that you’d asked this; the question

should be the first. All love and abundance

will fill your heart’s thirst. To give to my

children surcease from despair, courage in

victory, defeat’s swift repair – joy when

they sorrow, surcease from their pain –

amusement in boredom, perspective they’ll

gain. Think now of the future – the gain

and the loss. Your gift is the freedom you

have to create – to find true expression

whatever your fate. But the gift is not

given to hold or to hoard – it must flow

on outward – or break you, if stored. You

must find the wisdom and trust in your

luck – seek only the answers you want

for your heart; own only the question that

won’t drive you apart. Breaking is easy,

but healing’s the art – you can heal in a

moment if you trust in your heart. Each

pain makes you keeper, and pain sets you

free – breaks you illusions, and brings

you to Me.

“They walk in the darkness, they walk in the

light, they walk in their love, and they

walk in their fright. They long for your

insight, they long for the dreams. Their

prayers final answer is creation’s true

stream – the gifts you are given –both

blessing and curse – are to give to your

brethren, the fulfillment of thirst. They

give you the torch that you hold up so high –

You are their creation – their dream cannot

Lie. You speak for the dumb; for the

loveless you teach; for the lost, show the

way to the place that they seek. When

Time takes its measure of the good that you

do, you’ll find in you giving the peace

that is true.”

I asked her the need for companion and song –

She looked at me sorrowfully and looked at me

long.

“Your path was too hard, dear, your journey

too long, your weakness apparent, though passion

was strong.

I sent what you asked for, when you gave

all you had, to find what you’re seeking,

beyond good and bad. None other has sought

here the gifts that I’ve given – none sought

in these depths for power or wisdom. And

though you were not the one chosen to go, you

fought with your strength till you found

the right road – we gave what you asked

and gave you far more – for you answered

the call when you heard through the night,

the need for the journey from darkness to

light. You won’t understand for many a year

just what has occurred here –but you need

not fear. The change that you sought has

been granted today. You’ve found what you

looked for – now you know the way. The path

is left open, the door never shut. If

you ask for our wisdom, we’ll give you

full store – if you know wisdom’s value,

you’ll never need more. Creation’s a gift of

the gods from above – it springs from

your pleasure and gives birth to love.

Freedom’s your birthright, claimed freely

and more. Keep seeking the gods’ will –

you’ll find it in time, and Beauty will

move you, a river of Light (Life?), and dance

in your traces, both ancient and right.

The night is your friend, the darkness

No foe. Just keep to your writing, the

music will go – harmony, rhythm,

silence and rhyme – each take their

turn until all will align. Believe not

your music is yours – it is ours – take

what you (want) wish, there will always

be more. Have faith in yourself, and

those who surround will find in your

treasure that they have been found.

Peace is my pleasure, and love my

delight. Harmony comes with what’s

true and what’s right. Take time with

your journey – for Time’s all we’ve got –

The Pattern is finished, your Dancing is not.”

“Joy, my child. Sweet dreams tonight.”

I closed my eyes and turned around.

My friend, my wolf, was there I found.

We walked the path,

that seemed so fair –

I could not understand

what had happened there.

But as he grinned in wolfish glee,

He spoke, again, these words to me.

“You have found a treasure rare.

Never let yourself depair.

Take your time, but never quit.

Time will find your place in it.

What you give is what you’ll take.

No one here makes a mistake.

Every dream comes to an end,

And then the dream begins again.

Whoever finds the golden keys

will see the dawn,

and feel its breeze. ---

lost in space and lost in time

you fear that you have

lost your mind.

What is lost, if sought, is found –

What is needed’s on the ground.

Touch the earth, feel the grass ---

Take your time as flowers pass

to touch and smell ---

thus beauty lasts.

You will always know the way ---

Come in need by night or day,

I will guide --- all I’ll guard

as you seek to find the PARD.

Wisdom’s not an easy path.

Love’s much kinder,

Power fast ---

But none can choose –

in this you’re driven.

Remember only that you need

to keep the faith

my words to heed.

You will not regret my rede.”

I smiled, in peace and trust at last;

fearing only sorrow’s whip; joy chased my

fears with rainbow wings --- I felt secure,

at peace again.

I turned and walked the ancient path,

past beauty I’d beheld before --

but saw with eyes that beheld much more.

Ears opened to new sound,

(water trickling all around)

Felt the breath of breezes mild

walked the path in wisdom’s light

loving both the day and night,

trusting Life to find our place

to dance in Void or Time or Space ---

Walked out the cave to rocky hill,

Where I saw flower, bush and rill ---

felt the sunlight on my face ---

saw the hawk fly high in space ---

I turned to find my companion gone ---

yet still I felt his presence strong ---

And knew I knew not how or why, that

he would always be nearby.