Yesterday was my very last opportunity to cherish the sounds of whining toddlers as they beg to have the sharp plastic teeth in exchange for their inappreciable paper game tickets. Sunday, April 22nd of 2001 was my last shift at the "Family Indoor Adventure Centre," now referred to as Let's Play since the manager left the Ton of Fun franchise. Obviously, the opportunity to change to a better name was not her motive. But that's another story entirely. I won't bother explaining the whole history of my employment there but rather just the final day. I would have far too much to say if I took the time to introduce all of my co-workers and all that so forget it. As succinctly as possible, I will summarize the completion of the Ton of Fun chronicles that you've heard so little about.
I was hired at the end of October 1999, meaning I have worked at this place for eighteen months. Quite a long time I would think. Generally people my age don't stay at their job for that long and that makes quitting much smoother I'm sure. The staff I have worked with has changed several times over so a good number of people didn't really care whether I left or not. The reason that quitting this job is significant to me is because, as I'm sure it is with many people, I act differently at my job than I do anywhere else. However, the difference is great enough that I am not as much of a social failure there as I am anywhere else. In fact, I'm nearly a social success. Of all the lives I lead, that was my favourite. My social life amongst co-workers was considerably better than any I lead at school, around friends or family or anyone else. As socialization is already slightly depressing for me, quitting the only part that is successful isn't a wholly pleasant experience.
I left behind two small things yesterday. You see, ever since I started, my primary job has been behind the Redemption counter; that wonderful little area in the electronic games room where all the kids bring me their tickets and tell me to fetch them a toy less than or equal to their point value acquired from the games. Eventually I had coined my own title as a Redemption Connoisseur, being the only one who voluntarily submitted myself to that torture and knew everything there was to know about it. So, one of the things I left behind was a paper in the staff room outlining a couple of Redemption quirks that I have seen people have the misfortune of practicing. Three things basically, in my little goodbye note for the staff room; one being the method by which people insist on putting the shredded game tickets in the garbage bag. It irritates me to see them try and do it with two people, when it's clearly easier to do it by yourself. Anyway, I explained the correct process and explained a couple of other things to make the Redemption corner a better place. On the back of the paper I had pi written out to just under 200,000 decimal places for entertainment value.
The second thing I left behind was my name tag. I wasn't sure what to do with it until the other cleaning activity I had become notorious for came to mind. You see, I am the psychotic individual who actually volunteered to clean the enormous play structure that highlights the innards of Ton of Fun/Let's Play. It requires an abnormally high amount of strength and climbing ability to dust off all those plastic tubes and everything, but I somehow managed. Anyway, my idea was to take my name tag, that cute little card with an ugly panda drawn cruelly on the right-hand side, and tape it to the very top of the play structure. So now my name tag has been retired at the top, just above all those slides and ballpits. Ah, what fun.
There were many other things going on that I considered significant yesterday, but I shan't bore people with things like "the very last walk through the kitchen door" and "consuming my last six-inch pizza." One person that I work with, Jenn, was unaware that it was my last day until about 4:00, an hour before I was off, and quickly rushed to write a small message on a napkin, which can be seen above.
So there you have it, a summation of my last day. As brief as possible. It's Monday now, and I haven't yet heard back from Staples.
I screwed up the damn screening process that they go through at Staples. They had a job fair on Sunday and the sheer volume of applicants was rather depressing. By coincidence, I was wearing the same color scheme as the Staples employees and being just a little paranoid, I'm going to assume that that's the deciding factor in why there was no second interview following the thirty-second screening by one of the managers. Blah. It sounded like a utopian job. However, now I have to search else where. I have four places in mind. I e-mailed my resumé to Liquidation World after going into Ton of Fun and reading the classified help wanted ads in their complimentary Calgary Herald (ha! the ultimate insult: Looking for a new job in a free paper provided by your former employer!). Then there's a few other places in mind. I'll need a job quickly. I do need to buy a bus ticket for the summer.
But wait, maybe I will work at Staples. After all, they'll call me if a position becomes available. *pukes*
Well it seems to me that if you want to get a job fast, the only way to go is fast food. I have sunken to the lowest form of employment so I can get money fast fast fast so I can get around to paying my way to Victoria during the summer. A&W practically hired me on the spot today during a brief interview this evening so now I'm working there for $6.25 an hour to get the money I need. I probably won't stay there for too long since that whole fast food ambience is just not my thing. Apparently they're making me a part of the kitchen staff and I have an orientation to attend to tomorrow. If anything actually interesting happens at this job, I'm sure I'll add an entry in here all about it.
Have you ever met someone who takes everything too seriously? Well, today I'm going to talk a little bit about John. On my first day of work in the A&W kitchen, the manager in this instance was a fellow named John and he was to train me.
First, I'm just going to mention something unrelated here. John is very rarely the supervisor at this A&W location. We seem to have several people in the management staff. Sharon, Alan, Kristen, Irene, Kulwinder, Jason and John. On the schedule, Sharon and Alan are listed at the top, seemingly because Sharon is the owner and I belive the two are married, but that's just a strange inference I made. Irene is a crazy little old woman who seems to be there quite frequently as well. Jason and John manage two different A&W stores and supervise this one once a week or so. Don't know very much about Kristen yet, except that her and Jason are children to Sharon. I don't know, that's just a bit of useless information for you. Oh, and Kulwinder was just recently promoted to a supervisory position.
Okay, as I was saying, John is this short mustached guy who takes his position as a manager quite seriously. As he was training me, it became apparent that he didn't like this particular A&W store at all. Everything was so disorganized, you know. Still, he managed to instruct me on the finer points of manufacturing a bunch of hamburgers.
"So, you put the bun through the toaster and get your meat ready from the CVAP. CVAP's where you store your meat for up to one hour. See this timer? After you cook your meat, you put it in the CVAP and hit this timer. When the timer goes off, any meat left over from the batch you cooked needs to be put in the waste container under the grill for counting. So get one patty from the CVAP and put the bun through the toaster. You gotta make sure that you season every patty, that's very important. The bun takes about 45 seconds, which is always a good thing because that's about how long the meat should be on the grill. So take the bottom half of your bun and but just a little bit of mustard. Mustard has a real bite to it, you know, so you'll want about half as much mustard as you do ketchup. Make sure it's spread evenly over the bun. Then you'll wanna take two pickles and put them on the bun, making sure they're side by side 'cos chances are when they bite into the burger, they'll go maybe about halfway and it's always a good thing that the pickles cover that whole space just so they know that we didn't forget to put'em on there. Then you want some sliced onions and put them right on top of the pickles. Take the top half of the bun, put some mayo on it and spread that evenly. Then get back to the grill where you've got your meat seasoned and waiting. Take a piece of cheese and throw her on the patty. Use the spatula to put the patty on the bottom half of the bun. Remember to use two different spatulas for both cooking meat and for lifting the cooked meat over to the bun. Now just throw your top half of the bun on there, put the burger in a bag and put it down the chute. And that there's your Mama Cheese."
And I went threw this crap for every single thing in the kitchen. "When you're puttin your chicken in the CVAP, make sure it goes in bone-down--oh my, look at this mess. All this chicken is in here wrong! No, this is all wrong. It has to be in bone-down. No wonder I hate this store." He's so....important about his job. Everything is so perfect. "Remember to discard the expired meat. You don't want to push the timer twice because that's what's called doube-timing your meat." I have no problem with the guy but it's just weird.
"You'd have a lot more fun at my store. We do things more by the book." Oh yes, John, a lot more fun.
The owners of my former workplace were renting the warehouse of incredulously loud children from a company called Opus. I remember once, before I quit the job, that I came in for a morning shift, and to my surprise, there were about fourteen cars in the parking lot, but no children in the building. Just a bunch of guys in suits. I thought perhaps the management was in a drug ring or something, but no, it wasn't that interesting. This was the Opus mafia, a bunch of guys checking out the building. Creeeeeepy. Anyhow, I was informed later that Opus wanted them (Ton of Fun) out of there. And lo and behold, at the end of June, they were scheduled to be moved out, later to be replaced by a second-hand clothing store.
I had the priviledge of being invited to an after hours gala in the building on their last day of business, a Sunday. There was cake and pizza. It was all very nice. I had to leave early in order to get to work and it turned out to be rather difficult. Primarily because of Kim. Now, I haven't told anyone on this website a great deal about Kim. She's one of the assistant managers that I worked with for a long time and has become among my favourite people. Of course, the closure of Ton of Fun meant that I probably wouldn't see much of her anymore. Yes yes, boo hoo, a lot of typical tearful goodbyes as I stood at the glass doorway for probably the last time. I didn't expect such a violent reaction, actually. I know that others crying sometimes leads more people to cry and it's all a vicious chain of events, but I didn't see this coming. I gave her a guitar pick I had in my pocket as a piece of Randallish paraphranaelia. It was all I had.
"You're a stunning young person," she said, through tears, "And I'll never forget you." I am to call her when I get married. That's an order.
She makes the poutine wrong, she cleans things wrong, she does everything wrong wrong wrong. Furthermore, she doesn't acknowledge my existence, she's bossy, she's in training, she's pushy, she's hostile and she's non-comprehending. Little wench needs a good talking to. In her own language. She certainly doesn't know English very well. Oof, so bossy. "Box of fries! Large meat, first one!! Stock up now!! Fast!!" All heavily accented, of course. Hate hate hate, nothing but hate for Harjinder's hostility.
