PART FOUR cont'd
"So I said, 'Come on 'Chelle. It's Bud here now, I swear, I won't tell a soul until Tina's whole list is published.'"
"Did I hear my name being spoken in vain?" I teased.
Bud was still attempting to finagle a response out of our Michelle, Tina. However, Michelle remained mum," Max told me.
"Good for Michelle," I praised her.
"I don't know what's so secretive about what you're keeper of, honey. She tells us mine, and Max's, then clams up with one of John's. What are you up to, Sheriff? How'd you earn such special treatment?"
The Alaskan only smiled. "Must be the Biebe charm, White. What else can I say?"
Max and I laughed while Bud rolled his eyes. "It is getting *so* deep in here. I need my hip boots. First Max and his swelled head, now you. I'm going to start hanging with different people from now on," he joked. "You two... Damn, you're getting hard to live with."
"We are?" Max exclaimed. "How about you? Assuming she was going to automatically choose 'L.A. Confidential'."
"And she would have, if you two hadn't brainwashed her... How are you doing, honey? You okay?"
I nodded, my eyes drooping a little. "I'm just getting tired, Bud. It's been a long day."
"We've already made a reservation for her," Max told him.
"Hey, great - - great. Yeah, this has been a busy day for you. Never expected any of this, right?"
"Right. Not in my wildest dreams. But... before I head out of here for the night, since I'm not driving, would you guys mind if I.... Well, if I ordered one last round so we could make a toast?"
Max smiled. "Tina, that would be a splendid idea."
"I think so, too, Tina," John added while Bud nodded and said, "I'll go get 'em or we might be here a while. It's packed up in here... getting almost as bad as a can of sardines. What's the order this time, Miss?"
"Give me a sec." I closed my eyes to think, trying to recall something extra special for this occasion. Then it hit me: that lunch I had at the Oak Room in the Seelbach Hotel about a year ago (the hotel where some of the scenes for 'The Insider' had been filmed). I had sampled some wines after the meal. "Okay, Bud ..."
"Ready."
"This will be a hell of a lot easier than those Spanish wines I gave you earlier... I'm looking for a port that's *older* than twenty-five years."
"Port?" Bud asked.
"Yep. But unless she has the inside track on a current one, it needs to be no younger than twenty-five, or... well, everything hasn't normally kicked in yet, except for a few certain vintages. It doesn't have to be older than fifty - - don't know if I can afford that."
"I get it. Any particular... uh, brand... uh, name?"
"Dow; Taylor Fladgate; Graham... those are all good."
"Four ports coming up."
While Bud was gone, the three of us small-talked, basically about the Crowe's Nest. Although John was quite animated, there was still something in the back of my mind that was bugging me. What in the world *had* he wanted to ask? The cop returned quicker than expected, carrying a silver tray containing four crystal port glasses.
"That didn't take long," John commented.
"Nah... Liz got a little twinkle in her eye, and whipped down a bottle real quick. Said Tina ought to love this. So here we go!" he proclaimed, placing a glass before each of us. "1963 'Graham'... She said it ranked a 97 in 'Wine Spectator'."
"Sounds fantastic, Bud - - thanks," I extolled, and he took his seat once more. "This is a splendid choice."
"So... Tina," John began, "you said you wanted this for something... special?"
"Something special to end what for me has been an absolutely wonderful evening. Thanks to you three." I watched them redden almost simultaneously, and I couldn't help but giggle. "Sorry guys, but it's true." My voice dropped some. "Okay, this may sound like a line from 'Driving Miss Daisy' or something, but here goes. You're my favorite Russell characters. I can't think of any three others I'd want to share this with right now."
"Aw... shit, honey," muttered Bud, turning his head to one side.
"Max, too, was looking thoughtful. "Gods... Etienne... Thank you. That's very kind of you."
I glimpsed John's pensive expression as he gazed at the glass. He looked at me, giving a shy grin. "Same here, Tina. That's good of you, darlin'."
"Well I mean it guys, I really do..." I cleared my throat of the lump threatening to block it, and took a deep breath, exhaling after I did. "Okay... I would like to propose a toast, gentlemen - - if you all don't mind."
Bud shook his head, Maximus smiled and softly said, "Please do," and John nodded, motioning with his hand for me to continue.
Clearing my throat, I raised my glass off the tabletop. "I'd like to make a toast... to director Michael Mann." Seeing the suddenly curious expressions on their faces, I grinned. "Okay... let me explain... A few years ago, when 'The Insider' was being filmed in Louisville, a script arrived for RC to read. However, being the perfectionist that he is, he didn't want to read the screenplay because... well, because he was so in character as Jeffrey Wigand. Well, Michael Mann took it on himself to read it. And he went to RC, and for the most part said, "Russell... while I appreciate the intensity and effort you are giving to this role, I really think you should read this script. So... RC did, and because of that, one of the greatest epics ever made, and one of the greatest heroes the movies have ever seen came to being... That screenplay... was 'Gladiator'."
I watched as Maximus - realizing this compliment was also directed to him - smiled modestly, ducking his head a bit. Bud bent over the table to pat him on the back, while John quietly applauded and called out, "Here, here." Now I continued.
"So I would like to propose my toast then. To Michael Mann, and him helping to push the casting of the only actor worthy of bringing Maximus to life."
"Amen," Bud piped up, and we all laughed, then he added, "That's a good one, Tina. Wish I'd thought of it myself."
John smiled as well. "Good toast, Tina..." He held his glass higher. "To Michael Mann."
"To Michael Mann," all four of us repeated, clinking our glasses together before we savored the lusciousness of the wonderful port. It was a splendid wine to accentuate a consummate actor.
We savored the port a while longer, when I suddenly realized that now was the time for me to take a few discreet minutes to myself. Actually, it was past time, but I had hated to leave all this wonderful company. I pushed away from the table. "If you all would excuse me..." The three jumped to their feet. "...and could one of you direct me to the ladies' room."
"It's right over there," John began and Bud finished with "Just hang a left at the bar. It's back a little bit from the main area, but you can't miss it."
"Thanks. I promise - I'll be back as soon as I can."
"We'll be waiting," Max told me, and I smiled, turning away to head in the direction I had been shown.
Talk about a bounce in my step. I recalled Sid saying he had noticed one when I moved away from him - something I doubted - but now, my walk was noticeable even to me. I also realized there was the slightest swivel in my hips. I couldn't help but wonder.... In a single fluid move, I glanced over one shoulder, back towards my tablemates, and then looked ahead again. The glimpse had been so natural, no one would have noticed. The three were reseated, but instead of talking amongst themselves, as I would have expected, they were instead studying me with the greatest intentness. Biebe in particular seemed quite... I tried to think of an appropriate word as I entered the restroom.
The second I knew no one was in there with me, I emitted a loud "Yes!" jumping into the air as I did. I performed a small victory dance, and mentally congratulated myself. Oh my God. I couldn't believe it. Over a year ago I never *would* have believed it. Those three sexy, handsome men had watched me walk away, and they had looked completely fascinated in me. Never in my life had any man watched me as closely as they had - - and I loved the feeling of so much wonderful attention.
Looking at my reflection in the closest mirror, I paused, a finger drifting unhurriedly over my lips. I was imagining one of their mouths pressed against them. I could detect each curve and millimeter of their flesh; feel the heat as it passed through my imagined lover's body, and into my mouth. Shutting my eyes, I allowed myself to fantasize for a second: his lips becoming urgent, his tongue making gentle love inside my mouth, the softness of his trimmed beard brushing against my skin.... Beard? So I wasn't imagining dearest Bud, but one of the others. My eyes still tight, I 'watched' as I extended an arm about his neck, about to caress the short, dark hair near the nape.... I suddenly returned to reality, and shaking my head, I saw the slightest puzzlement. I had fully expected to see my gentle gladiator there in my mind's eye. Instead I had fondled silky, shoulder-length auburn hair, then 'pulled back' to see that I was mentally gazing into John Biebe's full, handsome features. I had only 'smiled', and sought to recapture his lips again, as perfectly contented as he appeared to be....
No, I had not see *that* one coming. I stared back at the mirror. There was nothing wrong with John. "Geez no," I whispered. I had loved his movie; was surprised at what a sweet film it had turned out to be. But 'Gladiator' was uppermost to me; it had taken over my life in an unimaginable way, and I absolutely adored its' hero. How could I not? So if I dreamt of Maximus, discussed Maximus and the movie, praised RC's portrayal, and pushed the movie to all my friends and co-workers - - why the hell was 'Mystery, Alaska' invading my thoughts? And why had I suddenly replaced the dashing general-turned-slave-turned-gladiator with....
I remembered Bud's words. "They *are* the reason you're here." "They're the ones who brought you here." The two of them had attempted an explanation when I asked about it, and I felt I understood. Bud had been correct in saying 'L.A. Confidential' had not brought me to this point. I had admired what a well-done film it as, but my heart would always belong to 'Titanic', no matter how much I admired its' competitor. No, it had taken a passion for 'Gladiator' and a gentle admiration for 'Mystery, Alaska' to raise my interest in Russell Crowe to such a level; I had not only sought out a web site to satisfy my needs. No, I had required something more, even if at first, I had not realized it. I think it all sort of made sense to me.
The only reason I could think of for fantasizing about John Biebe was for one reason. I had spent so much time with him in the last few minutes; he was uppermost in my mind. I groaned. Maximus was the one who had awakened my heart.... He was the one who had caused me to come here.... Or was he? /What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I thinking? Why am I confusing myself so much? // Okay - Okay... I was making this all more mystifying than it needed to be. Why was it that anytime I thought I had things worked out in my head, I started making it all more difficult than it needed to be?
"That's enough," I whispered aloud, scolding myself. /I'm here; I've been having a wonderful time. I'm not here to sleep with every Russell character in the place - - especially when it comes to that Hando person or Sid. Let me just take this one step at a time - - and do what's in my heart. //
I would have come at any rate, for Maximus, but John.... At the table, I would see him thoughtfully smiling at me, and then often bashfully duck his head when he realized I had "caught" him. He was revealing those tiny aspects that had made me love him as much.... I paused, and then said, "As I do Maximus."
All right - - enough of psychoanalyzing myself. Talk about putting a damper on a great evening. I took a restroom break, then freshened up some, reapplying my lipstick, dabbing on a bit more of my favorite Christian Dior's 'Dune'. After running my fingers through my hair, I headed back into the Tavern, glad to have had a few minutes alone.
I had barely made it out the ladies' room door when a figure in blue stepped in front of me, blocking my path. Looking about, I saw other people in the vicinity, in case I needed help, but I really wasn't in the mood to deal with this again.
"Just answer one thing," Sid said, perfectly serious, one finger in the air as he pointed at me. I mumbled the four-letter "F" word under my breath. "What the hell do they have that I don't? I'm beautiful!"
I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break, Sid."
"My feelings have been hurt. I just need to know this, Etienne, honestly. Or do you prefer Tina?"
"Sid..." I cut him off; knowing that there was no way Sid would ever have hurt feelings.
"I mean, what the hell does *any* woman see in them when I'm in the room?"
"How about somebody not featured on 'America's Most Wanted' every weekend?" I tried to step around him, but he impeded me again, roaring with that giggle that gave me goose bumps, not only from fear, but also from his magnetism.
"That's a good one! I love your wicked sense of humor - - that's why we'd be so perfect together. Me the psychotic; you the crime scene technician. A match made in Heaven if ever there was one...or if there is a Heaven. You could give me the inside edge on so many things. And I could give you - - well, we'll discuss that later...Seriously, let's give my question some very careful thought. Weigh the pros and cons as it were so you can realize I could be your only possible choice. You must give me the opportunity to prove myself, mon cher. Once you see there could be no other fate for us," he held out a hand - palm up - in a welcoming gesture, "you will gladly run into my arms. Especially when you consider your... dismal options." Sid shook his head in utter disbelief. "First off, there's our Neanderthal friend over there," and he nodded in the direction of the booth where my companions awaited me. I could just see the top of Bud's head. "No flair whatsoever, and certainly beneath your impeccable breeding. I can't believe he actually had the audacity to attempt to dance with you, considering he still drags his knuckles on the ground. I'm surprised your feet are still intact. Lumbering around like a big ape. I'm not even sure he can spell his own name, and I am not talking about Wendell either."
"Are you done?" I started to move, but Sid walked in front of me again and continued his diatribe.
"And of course, let's not forget... Ooh... Mr. Strength and Honor. Strength and Honor. Strength and Honor. Doesn't he know anything else? He's so damn honorable, and devoted, and so loyal. Hell, you might as well have a dog." He noticed that I was starting to bristle. "Oh come on, Tina! How can you take him seriously?! So full of principles - - but he's probably massacred thousands in the name of his Roman Empire. And he calls himself ethical," the cyber-psycho snorted. "That makes him almost as psychotic as me. I've only been accused of taking out a few hundred." He saw my skeptical expression and quickly amended the total. "Okay, a few million total - - who's counting? It wouldn't surprise me if he actually *enjoyed* killing in the arena, no matter what he maintains. He plays Mr. Sensitive, gets all weepy and snotty, flexes his muscles, shoves some dirt up his nostrils, and the women are all over him."
"Done?"
"Sure... give the guy a sword and 'whoosh'... he's a freaking hero. Even the biggest dork could look good with a sword... Or, someone as beautiful as me could enhance the whole experience." He paused for a second as he obviously considered the latter possibility. "Hmm, that might be a thought... Me, in the arena." He pretended to be a gladiator for a second as he did a few moves with an imaginary sword. His attention now returned to me. "Oh and last, but certainly not least in stupidity has got to be Sheriff Lobo from the North Pole, who is too dense to accept the fact that he's *no* Wayne Gretsky. If I were you, mon cher, I wouldn't allow him near or in my bed. I imagine his lovemaking technique is as precise as his skating speed. He's likely as slow in the foot as he is slow in the crank."
"That's *enough* Sid!" I practically screamed as he cackled, obviously enjoying this too much.
"Etienne... I am only thinking of your well being. Besides, I would hate to see all that whale blubber on top of your body. I'm afraid Tubby would regrettably suffocate you." He saw the fire in my eyes (and I hoped he didn't notice the tears which were attempting to spring up, out of both anger and tension); the way my hands were clenching. He looked at me, surprised I did not see the obviousness in what he was saying. His next words were said with incredulity. "Geez Tina, in case you hadn't noticed: he's *fat*!"
"You're nuts," I softly replied.
"That's a matter of opinion," Sid countered, then a slimy smile returned. "And when you call me that, it's like music to my ears." I threw up my hands, about to push by him, when I heard him say, "I don't think I told you before: but I just love your shoes."
I stopped and looked up at him, stepping back to my original spot. Now it was my turn to stare in amazement. "What?"
"Those black pumps you're wearing." I glanced down at my plain shoes. "I *love* women in heels, I really do.
Okay, that was what I freaking needed. Sid had a damn shoe fetish in his programming? For a millisecond, my eyes rolled away before I focused on him again. All I could manage was "Okay...Whatever."
"True, they aren't those spiked four or five inch heels, but yours have such a nice little curve to them. I adore how they show off those delightfully plump legs of yours, although something a bit taller would flatter them even more... Ah, Etienne mon cher." He took a deep intake of breath, his eyes rolling back into his head, nearly orgasmic at the thought. "I would love to have you dig those two inches right into the small of my back."
Oh, that's just great, I thought, trying not to let my mouth drop. Shoe fetish *and* S&M... That was when I surprised him when - instead of being angry - I smiled quite seductively. "Right into the... Oh God... that's so... that's so romantic, Sid. Really. Really, it is. You've *finally* said something that..." I was practically purring in ecstasy as I let my hands drift along the lapels of the expensive silk jacket.
Sid smiled, pleased, delighted he had finally impressed me. "See... I knew there was a dark edge to your personality. All those years of the work you perform - - it's added something quite appealing to you, and definitely for a man like me." He moved closer until he was nearly on top of me, his height almost dwarfing me. "We *will* be beautiful together, Etienne Cherie. I can't wait."
I shut my eyes, trying not to look disgusted, then beamed at him again. My voice was low, sultry. "Neither can I. And all I have to do is forget...."
"Forget The Three Stooges over there."
Chuckling, I moved forward, looking into those eyes as much as I dared. "Three Stooges, that's... that's cute, Sid. But I think you were more original the first time round. What did you call them? That was hilarious."
You mean the Neanderthal and tubby Sheriff Lobo of the North Pole?"
"That was it."
"And we must not forget our little loyal, devoted, strength and honor dog. We'll call him Maxie." I couldn't help it. I almost laughed when he bent over and pretended to play with an obedient dog. "Here Maxie, here boy. That's a good boy. What a good boy. You'll unleash hell on them, won't you? Yes you will! And win the crowd? Yes you will! And get vengeance in this life or...."
We both heard it, the barely discernible creaking of a floorboard. Sid suddenly stopped, his eyes narrowing. He sighed, standing upright, clucking his tongue before saying, "They're behind me, aren't they?" Hands behind my back, one leg in front of the other, I nodded, my head cocked to one side. "And you allowed me to stand here and dig my own grave?" Nodding again, I smiled - - or was it an evil smirk? "Tina -Tina - Tina. Why would you do this to me?"
"Guess it's that wicked sense of humor of mine, Sid. Remember, you do love it so."
He momentarily shut his eyes, and if I had thought he believed in prayer (and I figured he did not), he was probably doing it right now. Clearing his throat, he took on his coolest air as he turned to face Bud White, John Biebe, and Maximus Decimas Meridas. I doubted even Daniel had faced the lions in the den with the attitude Sid revealed right now. "Gentlemen," he said as though nothing was amiss.
"Sid," they all said simultaneously.
"Etienne and I were just having the most... fascinating conversation. I was about to tell her what a splendid addition she will make to our little group." The three remained stoic, until John looked at me, obvious concern in his eyes.
"You okay, Tina?"
"I'm fine," I assured them, my own outward air quite confident although inside, I was trembling, and my stomach in knots. Although there had been people around, I had still been nervous about being so close to Sid. Not simply because his suave sex appeal was so tempting; but I knew how the unfortunate victims of Bundy, Gacy and those others felt. *That* worried me more than anything.
It was Maximus who spoke next. "We thought you had been gone longer than we expected, and Bud... well, he noticed what was going on."
Sid took a step away from me. "And as usual, Wendell here has mistaken... well, I do not know why it is that *I* cannot speak to any of our female guests without it being taken out of context. He seems to forget. *I* live here, too, and that does not prevent me from becoming acquainted..."
"Getting acquainted is one thing," Bud practically growled. "Harassment... that's something else - - *Sid*." I saw the spark in his eyes.
"John, Maximus," Sid continued, "I wish you two would get a leash on our poor Wendell. He's starting to imagine things."
"Am I?" the cop asked, a slight smile on his lips. Uh-oh, I thought. I know that look. Both the general and the sheriff put out their hands to stop my favorite bulldog from pouncing then and there.
"As I said, Etienne..." He looked at me for a moment, that phony smile plastered on his beautiful mouth. "...and I do so love your name, mon cher. I only hope these gentlemen realize that is a *compliment*, not a means of harassing you." He looked at the men. "Etienne and I were merely sharing our views on life. Oh, and her most interesting occupation. Nothing more. You must all agree that she will make a most charming...."
"We *already* heard that bullshit, Sid," Bud muttered.
John shook his head. "Yes Sid, Etienne... uh, Tina is always welcome here. We're just wondering if you've outstayed yours."
Sid rolled his eyes. "I think Wendell's leaving bad habits with you, Biebe. You're getting as paranoid as he is. This is what happens when you enter the middle of a conversation, especially one involving me."
"Sid's right," I said loudly. Maximus, Bud and John all looked as if I had suddenly sprouted horns and a tail, while the cyber-maniac merely smiled as if to say 'See, I told you so.' I suspect he may have believed it to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, to quote Bogart in 'Casablanca': the evidence technician and the psychotic, as Sid had told me. "You all *did* sort of come in on the middle of it. I'm not exactly clear as to what you heard and what you missed. God knows I don't want there to be any misunderstandings." I noticed Sid's aquamarine eyes abruptly widening, his computerized brain comprehending he was about to be most sweetly blindsided.
"Etienne, Cherie, we don't have to rehash the...."
"But Sid... I want to make sure we're all on the right page. Okay Bud... did you hear the part when Sid said he couldn't' believe you had the nerve to dance with me - - considering you're still dragging your knuckles on the ground."
The cop's eyebrows rose. "Nah... missed that."
"So... you didn't hear when he called you a Neanderthal *or* that you couldn't spell your own name, and he didn't mean Wendell?"
"Missed that, too. Sorry I did." Bud was deceptively calm.
"Okay then. Max...."
Sid was practically gritting his teeth when he spoke. "Etienne is it necessary...."
"Oh Sid, it's *very* necessary. You said it yourself. When it comes to you, everyone always takes things out of context... So Max... did you hear when Sid complimented you by calling you 'Mr. Strength and Honor.'" It was Maximus' turn to raise his eyebrows. "And that you're quote 'so honorable, and devoted, and so loyal. Hell, you might as well have a dog.' Unquote."
"I *am* sorry I missed that, however, I caught the bit about me being as psychotic as him... and... what was that?" The general paused, glancing from me to Bud to John. "Oh... I get weepy and snotty and..." His voice increased some over his normally soft baritone "...shove *dirt* up my nostrils so that the women will fall in love with me."
"The dirt shoveling was what got *me*, Max," I quipped, and although the three were stifling a chuckle, Sid was actually looking as though he had just had an accident on himself. I looked at the floor, but didn't see any blue puddles. "But now we know where you all came in on our conversation. So that means...." I paused as my eyes met John's. It was obvious he knew what I was about to say. I wished he had not heard Sid's hurtful comments because as ugly as the other remarks were, the ones about the sheriff had cut me closer to the quick. "So John... you heard...."
"Everything! Thanks Tina," John told me, smiling slightly.
My attention returned to Sid. "We're all on the same page now, Sid."
His grin was frozen in place by now. "Merci, mon cher." I could almost hear his gulp as he calmly faced the three again. "Bud... John... Maximus... I hope you realize that Etienne took my joking too seriously. That's the mind of someone who deals in the business she does. No sense of humor."
My mouth dropped, but before I offered a retort, Bud said, "On the contrary, Sid, she has a great sense of humor. It's something she needs in her line of work. Right, John?"
"Absolutely. She's been displaying it all night."
"Yes, Sid," Max added. "*You* obviously missed it."
I pretended to pout. "Sid, you've hurt *my* feelings now. You said I had a wicked sense of humor."
He sighed, his eyes now showing a hint of annoyance and anger. "An error on my part then. How *could* I have been so mistaken?" He made the 'tsk' sound once more. "My lovely Tina, I had such hopes for us. You've disappointed me. I simply hate to see you wasted on..." He stopped, briefly looking at John, Bud and Maximus, then turning in a way so only I could see his face, I realized I knew the expression in his eyes all too well. The Bundy charm was disappearing. In its' place were Manson and Hitler: dangerous, hypnotic, and insane. "Well, I will continue to hope. I still believe *I* can offer more to your intellect and breeding than any of the others have combined. To paraphrase Rhett Butler: It is my desire to show you more... once you are over the spell of...."
"The Three Stooges?" Now it was my turn to move, this time near my three protectors. "I don't think so, Sid. And since you know movies as well as I do, let's see if you remember this line. It's from Pacino's 'Scarface'. DON'T FUCK WITH ME!!"
Max gasped then applauded. John whistled and smiled appreciatively. Bud grinned and said, "That's my girl. That's fourteen years of her police department coming to the surface. What a woman! Okay Sid - - party's over." The cop snatched Sid's lapels and slammed his back against the nearest wall. In the background I heard someone go 'Uh-oh'. "How many times do I have to tell you Sid: *leave* the newcomers *alone*! If they express an interest, go ahead, be my guest. Knock your perverted little self out. Otherwise..." He pulled Sid forward and slammed him into the wall again, a sound that caused even me to flinch. "Anybody else game? How about you... Maxie?"
"With the greatest pleasure," and with near lightning speed, the general gave Sid a clean one-two punch even Ali would have envied. Sid staggered slightly, but still didn't go down. Maximus gave him a swift knee to the stomach, and the cyber-psycho howled, doubling over. "I think the little strength and honor dog just bit back," he said jokingly as he rubbed his reddening knuckles. "John... your turn, I believe."
The sheriff - a mischievous smile on his lips - bent over so he could watch the color drain from Sid's face. "Sid...."
"Biebe... John," Sid gasped for air. "You're... the most level-headed one here... You're... You're not going to take my... take my... my... little joke seriously... are you?"
John straightened, that smile still present. "Why'd you think I would Sid? I mean, why *should* I take it seriously. After all... I've been hearing the fat comments since the day I got here. Why the hell would I take that seriously or personally?" He looked at me, before facing Sid again. "I promise, Sid, I won't go anywhere near Tina. I know how big and fat I am. Wouldn't want to hurt her." All I heard was a crunch and an escape of lung air as Sid finally crumpled after John's graceful kick to the groin. "How's *that* for slow in the foot?" The remaining three of us laughed and clapped as he landed one last kick, this time to the chin, leaving Sid with an additional cleft. John pretended to wipe his hands, then pulled Sid up slightly, holding onto the back of the silk jacket. "I don't want to get too close... Sidney. All this blubber might suffocate your sorry ass."
I laughed harder, covering my face, nearly missing it when Bud's foot shoved Sid to the floor, face down in the oak paneling. "I know these aren't those four or five inch spiked heels you adore, but how's about this?" Bud ground his left heel even harder into Sid's spine. "I know you wanted Tina's two inch heels in the small of your back. What about trying mine on for size instead? Sorry they're not two inches. They'll just have to do." He applied more pressure.
We heard a grunt, and swearing underneath groans, but as the seconds passed, there was a distinctive moan - - and it did not sound as if it was from pain.
"Uh...Bud..." John interrupted.
"Huh?"
"I don't think Sid's..."
The cop looked suspiciously at John, then down at Sid. "What?"
"Listen to him, Bud. I think he's enjoying it."
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, and I heard Maximus say, "Dirty little bastard. Reminds me of Commodus."
"Aw shit!" Bud exclaimed. "That's just great. You little fucking creep." He snatched Sid to his feet, and saw the little creep was almost grinning, patterns of the wood etched on his face.
"Oh Wendell..." Sid muttered almost sexily, which only caused White to slap him hard a couple of times.
"Tina... honey, your turn - - if you want to take it."
"For real?... Oh... this is *too* good to pass up." I reached into my shoulder bag, and removed a black plastic cylinder measuring about four inches in length.
"Honey... if that's mace, I don't think..." Bud started.
"No... one of the homicide dicks just gave this to me. Told me to keep it for protection against perverts, deviants, and other dredges." I gave the cylinder a quick snap, and the police baton extended to almost a foot. I saw all of their eyes widen - - especially Sid's.
"You know how to use that thing?" Max questioned, seeing that its weight wasn't affecting me at all.
"Oh yeah... they showed me," I grinned. "Now I'll get to see if this sucker really works!"
"Aim it low," I heard Bud direct me, and I smiled, nodding, and stepped up to the plate. Holding it as I'd been instructed, I took a deep breath, drawing back... then paused. I saw the fear in Sid's eyes, and then my gaze went to Max, John and Bud. How could four men be so similar and yet the same - - and incredibly, Sid was one of those incarnations. In a sense, he was the bad seed among the brothers, for that is what they were.
Bud asked softly, "Can't do it, honey?" I shook my head, lowering the baton.
Sid breathed a sigh of relief. "Merci, mon ami. See gentlemen... she does have a most tender side, and forgiving as well I hope." He smiled charmingly at me, then those eyes made yet another metamorphosis as I saw his tongue run ever so slightly and lustfully over his mouth. Bud - who was holding him from behind - couldn't see it, but John, Maximus and I did.
"Son of a bitch!" the sheriff exclaimed to Max's "You simply don't learn, do you, Sid?"
"What did he do?" Bud asked, but seeing the anger on my face, he luckily reacted and held on tight as the impact of the baton blow struck Sid in the abdomen.
"That's a goal!" John chuckled, patting me on the back.
"Good job, honey," Bud congratulated me.
"Where in the world did you get that kind of strength?" Max asked as we watched Sid curl into a fetal position. It was almost difficult *not* to feel sorry for the little bastard.
"I've been working on my upper body."
"It shows," he said, admiringly. We watched as Bud rolled the cyber-maniac over, and unceremoniously dragged him across the floor.
"Where are they going?" I asked and John started laughing harder.
"I think they're headed for the men's room."
Remembering that scene in 'L.A. Confidential' with Bud's handling of the two timing D.A., I hurriedly followed the fast moving pair, not really caring what their final destination was. I was seconds behind them, and nearly skidded to a stop as I pushed open the swinging door, John and Maximus right on my heels. I saw the soles of Sid's shoes disappear around a corner, and without thinking, I charged inside.
"You think we ought to make sure we're it?" the sheriff questioned, glancing around for other occupants. His quiet voice must have carried, for we heard Bud call out:
"We're it! Come on in!" followed by the sound of a thump against the clean tile floor. Afraid we might miss something, we rushed to where Bud was, and found the cop pulling Sid towards one of the dozen stalls.
Max was flashing that smile I loved. "Are you all right, Wendell?"
"Hell... I'm just getting started." Sid groaned again, and Bud dragged him over to and then propped his upper body on the toilet seat.
Meanwhile I was studying the surroundings. "I've never been in a men's restroom before."
John smiled. "Not even on one of your scenes?"
"Nope, not ever. Always wondered what the big differences would be. Guess the urinals..." We were talking as though everything was perfectly normal.
"Liz makes sure all the restrooms are kept spotless," John told me, ignoring the muffled sounds cyber-boy was making.
"Well, I'm *very* impressed. I'll have to let her know."
"Mmph yer gemph me the fumph mmph this feemphing too..."
"I believe Sidney's trying to say something," Max chimed in. "Of course with his face down like that...."
Bud sighed and raised Sid's head. "What the hell are you saying?"
"You know what the fuck I'm saying!! Get me the fuck off this fucking toilet!! I don't know what or who's been on it!"
"Well," Bud told him as he dropped him again, "whatever or whoever was there had to be cleaner than your filthy mouth. And with a lady present, too."
"She said the word, too!" Sid countered.
"With good reason if you'll recall," Maximus reminded him, arms crossed before his broad chest.
John spoke up next. "Yeah Sid... You're getting a short memory in your old age."
"Fuck both of you."
"Watch the mouth Sid!" the four of us said almost together.
The cop now looked at me, a naughty grin too obvious. "Ms. Stewart... would you like first flush?"
"Thank you, sir," I said quite seriously, although my eyes were sparkling. I couldn't help but notice the fear crossing Sid's sculptured features when he looked to the side to see me.
"Etienne... you wouldn't," came a rather small voice.
"Oh yes Sid, I would... Wendell, if you please."
Bud grabbed cyber-boy from behind, and the last thing I heard from him was "Oh shit... not my hair!!" as White plunged his head into the water. I calmly stepped forward and after humming a few notes for 'Taps', flushed. I watched an aqua color swirl about the reddish coiffed hair, and I glanced up at Bud. Knowing what I was about to ask, he responded, "What d'ya call it? 'Ty-D-Bowl'."
"Gotcha."
Our laughter increased as we heard a gurgled, "My hair. My hair," repeated over and over. Bud raised Sid's head, and we all nearly choked. Sid's beautiful hair was now plastered about his scalp and face, as smears from him and the bowl cleaner combined to create an almost purplish-blue color.
"I think it's lovely," I commented as Bud continued to dunk Sid's head while flushing the toilet several more times. "Reminds me of Van Gogh's 'Irises'... the way all the colors are meshing together."
We heard the restroom door swing open, and Max, John and I looked up to see. We had company - Colin O'Brien, whom I had met earlier. He headed towards the set of urinals along one wall, and just as he was about to unzip, suddenly noticed he was not alone.
He chuckled when he saw me. "Oops. Sorry mates. Wondered where you all had vanished to." There was another flush, then a scream of "My fucking hair!"
I started to blush. "Ex-Excuse me," I managed, rushing for the door.
"You don't have to leave on my account, love," Colin teased.
My response was to turn and give a shy smile. "Oh yes... Yes I... I do. John, Max, I'll see you outside."
"We're coming anyway," John said. "Bud... we'll be outside!"
"0kay, just a couple more minutes," the cop answered over what sounded like - - I think the Bible calls it the 'wailing and gnashing of teeth'.
Just as I opened the door to leave, another figure collided with me when he rushed inside. Arthur Baskin looked into my face, his features turning beet red as he double-checked the entrance to make sure there was a figure of a man on it. On seeing there was, he stared at all of us for a second, completely bewildered. I could have heard his gulp a mile away.
"Oh my..." He stammered. "Excuse..."
"No... excuse *me*," I said and we both practically ran over top of each other to get out.
"Sorry... I-I-I... didn't... I didn't know," Arthur kept repeating. "I'll - uh... I'll come back later." He was running so fast, I couldn't even tell him he could go back inside.
Maximus and John were right behind me. "Where'd Arthur go?" the general asked.
"That way," I pointed.
"Poor Arthur," John laughed. "Hope he doesn't have an accident on himself."
Colin exited moments later. "What a night!" was all he would say as he headed back to his table. Bud White soon followed, hauling a dripping wet Sid with him. As he did, Liz walked by on her way to the restroom.
She looked at the sight, sighed and said, smiling, "Are you boys playing nice?"
Bud grinned. "Yes Mommy." Liz shook her head, chuckled, and hurried along. "Okay Sid... I think it's time for bed. You look tired."
"My hair," was all we could hear, and I could have sworn the voice was next to tearful.
Bud stepped over to me and gave me a quick kiss on my mouth. "Tina honey, hate to end the night this way, but it's been great."
"I'm going to get you for this White!" Sid's stifled voice could be heard from where his head was buried in Bud's armpit.
"Same here, Wendell," I whispered, that kiss almost making me melt.
"I'll see you around, okay. Max, John - you two look out for her."
Sid pulled out his head and softly said, "Good-night, good-night. Parting is such sweet..." He stopped when Bud's fist was shoved in his mouth.
"Good-night, guys," Bud told us, and we watched as he dragged cyber-boy through the tavern to everyone's laughter.
Maximus placed a hand on my nearest arm. "Well, are you ready?"
"I think so. Yeah, I definitely am," I told him, enjoying his touch. "It's been a long night."
"Well, Max and I will escort you up there," John told me.
"What about my tab?"
John spoke up. "Don't worry about it right now, Tina. You can take care of it later. Now... do you have anything in your car that you'll need? Make-up, change of clothes...."
"I have a cosmetic case and an overnight bag in the trunk. I... I wasn't quite sure where I was going tonight. I was sort of driving." And feeling quite lost and empty, I thought to myself. "I figured I'd eventually end up at my favorite restaurant, Vincenzo's, and then crash somewhere nice for the night. That's why I was sort of in... casual dressy mode," I explained, glancing down at my black chemise.
"Well, if Max will walk you on up to the hotel, I'll get your keys from the valet. What are you driving?"
"Chrysler Sebring convertible."
"Nice - very nice. Okay... Max, I'll head on and get her things. I'll meet you two in the lobby."
The sheriff hurried ahead of us, dancing around a streak of blue water while one of the cleaning persons mopped up. Maximus and I followed close behind, but on leaving the building, we went right of the parking lot. Now I saw it, a beautiful building which combined contemporary with elegant Victorian, capping a small hill. I could hear waves crashing rhythmically against the shoreline; could smell that distinctive fragrance of salt air. A bird was chirping in the distance, and a second, then a third responded. Nightingales, the general informed me, causing me to smile. I always wondered what they sounded like, and I was reminded of the dialogue in 'Romeo and Juliet' - of nightingales and larks. We casually followed the winding path, and on reaching the entrance, Max held open the door for me.
We walked inside a medium sized lobby, one which was not overly opulent, but which was welcoming, like entering a friend's home. It reminded me somewhat of the foyer at my now beloved Thornbury Castle outside Bristol, England. There was an intimacy there, and elegance as well. I was already at home.
"Here she is, Peaches," Maximus announced, and the young woman behind the front desk grinned.
"You must be Tina?" she greeted, holding out her hand. "Hi - - I'm Peaches."
"Hi... nice to meet you, at last," I said, shaking hands with her.
"And welcome to Crowe's Hotel. Max says you've had a wonderful time so far."
"An absolutely *marvelous* time, despite Sid."
"Oh well, that's our Sid," she laughed. "At least you aren't packing and running for the hills... *before* you unpack. But everything else..."
"Has been great. Everyone has gone out of their way to be nice."
"Well, we *are* family," Peaches told me, and I nodded, looking at Maximus.
"So everyone keeps telling me. And it's feeling more and more true."
"Max, where's her luggage?"
"John's getting it from her car. He should be along any moment."
"Great, 'cause Tina looks like she's ready to relax."
"Well, for me the night owl, this is fairly early, but I don't think I'll have any problems sleeping tonight. It's..." I sighed. "...It's been some day."
"Yeah, I think it's that way with most of the newcomers. You just need to take it a little at a time. Don't push yourself; don't rush. The Boys know how to guide you along right."
"They've all been sweet," I remarked as Maximus and I made eye contact once again. I could not get over what a handsome man he was, or the magnetism he exuded, no matter what he was doing. Now I understood why the other summer movies to this point had left me empty, and why Ford's Place and the Keaton Cluster seemed like distant memories.
The front door opened and John eased in, my cosmetic case's strap across one shoulder, and my small overnighter in his opposite hand. "Here we go, Tina. Hope this is all of it."
"That's all, John. Thanks a lot."
Peaches gave me two sets of keys and wished me a pleasant evening. I started up a grand staircase, equal to anything on-board Titanic, accompanied by my companions. On arriving on the second floor, we walked a short distance as I counted off the room numbers.
"Number 205. This is it, I guess." I eased the key into the lock, and listened as the mechanism clicked so I could push open the cherry wood door. Lights were already on, and I heard a deep intake of breath emanate from me when I looked inside. It was one of the most beautiful hotel rooms I had ever seen. It was more a suite, for as I stepped further in, I realized I was in a sitting room done all in the pastel colors I preferred. There was a sofa and a love seat; at least two overstuffed chairs with matching footstools; a small desk with a chair; a round glass dining table surrounded by four elegant chairs; and an entertainment center along one wall. I immediately noted the 32" television, along with a VCR, a DVD, and a compact disc system, complete with a rack of discs and videotapes. An unlit marble fireplace was the centerpiece of the room.
"The bedroom and bathroom are back that way," John indicated, placing my things off to one side, out of the way. Speechless, I moved ahead of him, anxious to see what was next.
The bedroom was the equal of my sitting room. Highlighted by a canopied four-poster, king-size bed, I let my hand caress the silks and expensive cottons of not only the bed drapes and linen, but the numerous pillows of all sizes which were at the oaken headrest. I studied the other items: the Waterford vases and water pitcher; the elegant vanity; the armoire; even a chaise lounge. I moved into the bathroom - again there were soft colors, grinning as I looked over not only the enclosed glass shower, but also a marble Jacuzzi tub. My mouth dropped on seeing that there was a bidet as well. I'd always wanted to stay in a room with a bidet.
Rushing back into the main room, I saw that Max and John were patiently awaiting my return. "This is... this is like the room I've always dreamt of."
Max nodded. "Well, we always try to give our guests a room that suits their personality." Hands behind his back, he came to my side. "I asked Peaches to give you a room... well, romantic, spirited. We hoped it would suit you."
All I could do was nod, my wide eyes still taking in every detail. John said, "This is yours, Tina. For as long as you want it. Feel free to even bring your own belongings next time, too. Or change whatever you don't like."
"This... This is *mine*?" I whispered, choked.
The sheriff smiled. "All yours. It'll always be yours, however long you want it."
"And if you'll check the view, I think you'll get a pleasant surprise, my dear."
I hurried to the French doors, easing them open so I could step onto the balcony, its' trellises entwined with climbing roses. Looking down, my eyes began to water, for not only could I detect the sound of the ocean, but also my room overlooked one of the most magnificent gardens I had ever seen. Returning inside, all I could say was, "Those roses... Those are English roses."
"Very appropriate," Max told me. "I had hoped they'd remind you of a place that seemed to have won your heart." I chewed on my lower lip, nodding as I did, the tears behind my eyes threatening to spill. My whispered, "Thank you" was barely audible, but they both heard it.
John cleared his throat. "Max, maybe we'd better head out now. Tina's tired."
"Yes, we've kept you long enough, haven't we? Perhaps Tina... Well, perhaps you could join us in the morning for breakfast?"
"Yeah darlin', that'd be nice. If you feel like it." My only response was another nod. "O... Kay... Well, then... guess we'd - uh... we'd better get going." John started moving towards the door, Maximus close behind. "Good-night, Tina."
"Yes, good-night, Tina."
And that's when it happened. I gasped as the door opened, then the tears flowed, despite my attempts to halt them. I could feel my stomach in knots; my chest squeezed by some unknown tightness. My throat... no
matter how many times I swallowed, it was not enough. It simply grew more constrictive. I was turning into a blubbering mess in front of them, and I couldn't stop, and this frustration only increased my tears.
John stepped forward first, even as Max did. "Tina... darlin', what's wrong?"
"Tina?" I saw the urgency on the general's face.
I angrily wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Why?" Maximus asked.
"I'm sorry," I repeated, covering my mouth. "It's just... all of this. The room... The roses... It made me homesick again... for England... I miss England." I looked aside briefly, then back at them, finally managing, "And you two..." I could not finish.
"We'd better leave you alone," Max said softly, but I moved quickly, one hand outstretched.
"Guys... don't go," was all I could say.
The men exchanged glances, their confusion obvious.
Maximus spoke first. "Tina, I...."
"We..." John stammered. "You... You want...."
"Don't go... Not now." I rushed past them to the door, double-checking that it was secure, then turned in their direction again, my head down, unable to look at them. What had I just asked? Never in my life had I invited two men to stay with me, and while most women would have leapt at the opportunity, I could not. I couldn't believe I had even said it. So I stood there, frozen in place, my hands tightly clutching a table behind me. None of us spoke as the minutes passed, and my trembling increased.
"John... this is ridiculous. We have to do... something."
"I'm all for it, General. But what?"
Their voices seemed distant, as though none of us were in the same room. I continued to stand there, hot tears running down my face, and I heard the two speak, their words empty syllables to me. How the hell had I put myself in *this* predicament? My head suddenly lifted, and I realized that John's index finger was underneath my chin.
"Tina?" he softly asked. "You with us here, darlin'?" I nodded weakly. "Good, 'cause I need for you to listen, all right? All right?" I blinked, starting to feel more coherent, and nodded again. "Max and I.... Aw shit, Max."
"What John is trying to say," Maximus stepped in when Biebe appeared unable - or unwilling - to finish, "is that we only want the best for you. We *know* how confusing this is for you, my dear. We don't wish to make it worst."
"And we hate doing this to you... especially on your first night here."
"I understand," I finally said, and then I sighed, shaking my head. After all, I brought this on myself. I knew what they wanted, but the words would not come.
"Tina?" John's clear accent rang through my soul. "Just... think for a moment. Think, okay? Bud was right: it *was* Max and I who gave you the incentive to come here. All you needed was that small push... But there had to be one of us... One of us and our movie which was the original catalyst."
"Think about 'Mystery, Alaska' and 'Gladiator'... Remember the first times you saw them."
"Then open your heart and listen to it."
The question pierced not only my heart, but my brain and my inner being as well. It had only been a few weeks, not long at all, and now it came down to this. I closed my eyes... and I remembered.... Remembered how it had burned itself into my existence in a way I had not known since my much-loved 'Titanic'. So then I knew.
Very strongly, very clearly, I heard myself - tears in my words - exclaim, "I loved you first!" I threw my arms about Maximus' neck, pressing myself against his body's warmth and the soft fabric of his uniform. "Oh God... Oh God help me... but I *loved you first*!" I felt him embrace me, a hand gently wiping my tears.
"It's all right, dearest," he soothed me. "It's all right."
I gazed into that now familiar face, studying his strength and everything that made him so wonderful to me. He was alive again: the living, breathing Maximus I had loved from the second I laid eyes on him. All it had taken was that single robin... We had shared a moment together in that darkened theater. Now I wanted to share a night with him.
That was when I felt John Biebe tenderly kiss my forehead. I pulled back from Max to see the sheriff pat him on the back. "Be good to her, Max," was all he said before he moved to the door, opening it to leave.
"I'll be right back." I told Maximus, and then finding my voice for the first time in a while, I hurried after Biebe's retreating form. "John!"
He looked at me, a hint of resignation in those soft eyes, but he still smiled. "Hey sweetheart."
"John I... I don't... John, I am *so* sorry."
"Why? Don't be. I know how confusing it was for you, darlin'. Nobody should be under that kind of pressure, let alone you - and on your first night too. This is the sort of pressure that'd make somebody leave and never come back. You didn't need it... Max understands, and... and *I* understand." He laid a hand against my neckline and softly added, "Don't worry. Max is a great guy. He'd never hurt you, Tina."
I was choking again, touched by his actions. He was such a gentleman. I could only stand tiptoe, and kiss him affectionately on the cheek. "Thank you, John... thank you for understanding."
His cheeks began to burn again. "Sure. Well, you're welcome. Hey, I'll be seeing you sometime tomorrow I hope."
"I... had planned to leave tomorrow, but I've changed my mind. Hey, it's my second day off. I have a three-day weekend. I might even tack on a vacation or personal day and make it four."
"That'd be great, Tina," he continued softly.
"So... we'll see each other. I promise. And John? Tomorrow - - I'll try to make it up to you."
There was that sweet, lopsided grin, the one that normally made me laugh and smile, until I realized, somehow it was different from the ones in the Tavern. There was a melancholy to it, and I read the thought behind it all too clearly. *'You don't have to do that, sweetheart. You're only saying that to make me feel better. But this isn't something you're required to make up to me.'* No bitterness. Only emptiness. Oh my God. I was learning the Biebe smiles.
His only response was "Good-night, Maximus."
"Good-night, John."
"Good-night, Etienne Stewart - - we also call her Tina. Sweet dreams."
"John," was all I could murmur.
Bowing his head, he turned and partially backed out the door, before heading into the hall. Holding onto the frame, I watched as he shuffled towards the stairs, his shoulders noticeably slumped. I moved, my body practically outside the threshold, as I felt something unexplainable pulling me in his direction. I wanted to... *needed* to say more to him, but what?
Then I recalled who was patiently waiting for my return.
I placed two fingers to my lips, and blew the Alaskan a silent kiss.
"Good-night, John," I mouthed. I saw him pause momentarily at the head of the staircase, as if he *had* heard me, then his pace quickened as he descended to the first floor. Sighing, I shut the door, returning to my room.
