After a long standing hiatus i have returned to my computer out pouring much more confused tonight than those that came before it. This should probably be triggered.
since my last entry i have bounced from skating horribly to descent skate days....from horribly riddled by Ana to almost free and back again. I never stopped restricting but some how i managed to gain some clarity as far as skating goes...life though is another story. Completely devoured by ed tonight i binged then purged until i was both satisfied and terrified by blood replacing the food being purged...I was relieved by the intense addictive dizziness but appalled by my sense of being a failed anorexic. Ana speaks agian....you may have your skating but that is all you can have.....now for my moment of weakness ana screams i must pay....welcome back to her world....welcome back
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