Warning: Vivid Penis desc

Okay.... I'm having some weenie troubles.

So I maybe I should backtrack to the night of the incident:

It was approximately 2:00 a.m. when Mike and I arrived at one of our friends houses for his birfday potty (say it out loud to yourself, you'll get it) we played some Halo and that was fun, and we decided that we should then play a few rousing hands of Texas Hold 'Em. So we decide that instead of money we will play for bitch push-ups. (If you're not familiar Bitch push-ups are when someone has the right to make to make you do push-ups, whilst saying "I am (person's name)'s bitch.) Now they was a 20 push-up buy-in limit. I was not on my game and lost all my Chips. So I decided to come up with an idea. I would let rizzo kick me in the nuts as hard as he can, if I could have 20 more free chips. So he did...and...ouch. (by the way if you're wondering, I lost those chips too, so, now i owe Rizzo 40 bitch push-ups.)

So now, my balls are very sore, slightly swollen, and the right one is frickin' purple. I was sittin in history today and i drop my pencil on the floor. (guys i think you know where this is going.) so I hastily slide over and reach down to pick it up. And ihat motion the right nut gets trapped between the upper edge of the seat and my right thigh. Needless to say, it hurt. But with the condition my Wedding Tackle is in, I'm gonna be sittin' down extra slow for a few days. Please, if you are praying people. Pray for my sack. I want to have children.

Painfully Yours,
Clay