Weekly Rant by Clay 12/21/01

Babble and Bin Ladden. Connection??

Hello friends and welcome, I am here to annoy you and take away 5 minutes of your precious time. So I'm glad we're all squared away. Well, here goes.

1.) Why does mommy hate me? What did I do? I mean, When I ask one little question the answer comes back 50 times louder and meaner. Mom when will dinner be ready? WELL CLAY, I DON'T KNOW WHEN DINNER WILL BE READY BECAUSE ALL I DO IS GO TO WORK ALL DAY AND YOU WON'T EVEN DO ME ONE LITTLE FAVOR LIKE CLEAN YOUR DAMN ROOM ONCE IN A WHILE! YOU DON'T GET A DINNER TONIGHT UNLESS YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF! It's like, Jesus Mom don't get so pissy.

2.) What the hell does Usama think he is doing? I am going kill that stupid a-hole personally. You know what think his punishment should be whenever we find him? We should take him back to New York, tie each of his legs and arms to a fence post, and then, give everybody in America a free kick in the balls. Family members get two kicks. This guy deserves a serious beating.

3.) Now I don't exactly understand the concept of hell, maybe it doesn't suck that much, you know? Maybe it's just a little bit hot like my balls in the summer. Let's get on the concept. Why does my crotch get so hot in the summer? And you know what I hate the fall and you know why? Well I'll tell you! Because it's hot, and then it's cold, hot, then cold, hot, cold, hot, cold, and my balls can't take it! They sag and then they shrink, sag, then shrink, sag, shrink, sag, shrink, it's like Jesus fellas make a decision on something. But I don't want to get on a rant here. Back to the heat. And now I got a good idea for hell. You get stuck in a hot room with 6 naked guys (or girls for you ladies) with only an oscillating fan to cool yourself down. You know those fans? The turn back and forth to "Cool the whole Room." Cool the whole room my butt. Everybody is just waiting in line like waiting for that fan to come back and then when it does it's like "Ahhh!" But then when it comes back you weren't paying attention and you miss it. "Oh no, Damn it! I wasn't ready I missed oh, oh here it comes Ahhh!" You know? I think that would be hell. Well I hope I completely wasted your time and until next time Screw you, and Good bye.