Self Improvment test:

Hey gang, your good buddy Mike put together a little test to make you a better person.

1) When confronted with a bully do you:

a. Turn the other cheek
b. stand up to him
c. tell someone bigger than he is
d. laugh at his small penis
e. Twist his nipple and run screaming at the top of your lungs

2) When on a date, do you

a. Pay for his/her way in
b. Go someplace nice but free
c. Bring him/her to your house and watch movie
d. Say you forgot your wallet/purse
e. Eat dinner and excuse yourself to the bathroom, never returning

3) When friend gets girlfriend/boyfried, do you...

a. welcome him/her
b. pretend to like him/her
c. ignore them
d. Annoy them until breakup
e. Send him/her naked pictures of your friends with MAJOR alterations to private parts.

4) When in a public toilet and you hear someone in the next stall moaning, do you...

a. Ask them if they are okay
b. ignore and hope they go away
c. make fun of them
d. coach them through the moment
e. Throw wet paper towels at them and laugh as they wiggle

5) When at a party and you spot someone drunk, do you

a. Find him a designater driver
b. Make him stay the night.
c. Help Sober him up
d. Help Sober him up, with staple gun
e. Pat him on the butt, give him the keys, and say 'good luck'

6) You're walking down the street and see a naked man/woman in the window, do you...

a. Let them have their privacy
b. look for a moment
c. Tell all your friends and gaze at the beuty
d. Yell at the person to get some clothes on.
e. Get binoculars and tent and camp out

7) An ugly girl/guy asks you out, do you...

a. Agree for one date
b. politly turns them down
c. Tell them they are ooo-glay
d. Point and laugh
e. Hand them a paper bag with a hole cut in it

8) A friend asks you to do him a favor, do you...

a. Agree
b. Ask what it is
c. Ask how much money is involved
d. Ask for a favor in return
e. Put out your hand for a shake and quickly turn around farting on his/her hand

9) when you think about the meaning of life, do you...

a. Think about how it all started
b. Wonder if there is a god
c. Think of the millions of people on the earth and wonder if life exists elswhere
d. Take a second to think about Ms. Cleo
e. Wonder why no one has shot Paulie Shore yet

10) When at a friends house and he/she is alseep, do you

a. Go to sleep yourself
b. Quietly leave and go home
c. Nudge them awake
d. Smack them in the mouth and laugh
e. fill a bag with ice and place it down their pants...

If you answered mostly A- You are a saint, a true blue believer. My guess is you're really one with God and enjoy doing the right thing. you probably don't cuss or sin at all. You have a free ticket into heaven....

If you answered mostly B- You're a pretty nice guy/gal. You want to help people, but not as much as the A group. You try and do the right thing but don't always. You're faily normal.

If you answered mostly C- You think of yourself as number one. People are nice, but you don't really relate to them much.

If you answered mostly D- You are just a mean person. But in a good way I mean.

If you answered mostly E- Welcome to the club, You and me can be best friends...