Dude, I don’t really like to work…so I probably won’t…
Man, can you even imagine me having a job? Really? What exactly would I do? I’ll probably end up like the guy on Office Space. I’ll work in an office and be like, “PC Load Letter? What the does that mean?,” or “Why does it say paper jam when there IS no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I…I…I am just kicking this crapfest out the window!” BUT REALLY,…I’VE ALWAYS HAD ONE JOB IN MIND MY WHOLE LIFE (besides pro skater and guitarist)…AND HERE IT IS!…..(lights)(music)
Note from Josh: I am not crazy. At least, I don’t think so…yet… Geez, cut me a break, ok?! I am a floating head that smiles an awful lot, and don’t believe that it takes more muscles to frown because it DOESN’T.
Sorry no music, wouldn't upload. It's showy music, so just pretend, OKAY!?!?!?!?!
(Clay looking out from his ghetto neighborhood window, puzzled)
Who is that man I see there, takin’ my trash away?
That sure is a nice thing he did, and I don’t have to pay!
Who is this man I wonder, who is so tried and true…?
(Mike enters, surprised)
Why, it is the Garbage Man, here for me and you!
(Brandon enters happily singing for next verse)
Boy I love that Garbage Man, he’s sure a real nice guy!
He ties up your trash baggies with little twisty-ties!
(Clay) I sure would like to meet him, the BFI a blast!!
(Mike) Oh my dear lord, look guys! He’s come to take the trash!
(Every rantist gathers ‘round to get an autograph)
(Clay) We really ‘preciate ya’, sanitation really rules!
(Rizzo) We’d surely like to help you, if we’d only got thru school!
(Garbage Man takes his gas-mask off, pulls out a skateboard, and it’s Josh!)
Sorry guys, I’d have to say, you’re all out of luck!
Cuz I only work one day each week, and yall’ just plain suck!
I gracefully grab the handle on the back of my truck.
My driver, Hank, who’s from New Jersey, just lets me run amok!
We cruise around the neighborhood, stealing from you fags –
You’d best watch out you doo-doo heads, cuz we just swiped your bags! HA HA!
(Everybody looks puzzled)
(Josh) So anyways, we’ll see ya’, my driver Hank and I
We’re glad we live with goofs like you that are in mass supply
So long, you big dummies, and Hank, without delay…
Lets get back to our job that pays 3.50 per day!
(Drives away knocking over trash can)
(Clay speaks up among the silent puzzlement)
You know, that job…it’s not too bad, it may be just the thing…
(Brandon) And the sound of Garbage Man Brandon does have a nice ring…
(Mike) You know I think we’ve all learned something from this little Song…
(Rizzo) Let's all get back to TV... this just takes to long...
(Josh) And now that you’ve all heard my song and are thinkin’ he’s just a retard that likes to collect trash, skateboard, and play guitar, and is not smart at all and he should just shut up, stupid little chant –
You’ll see that it’s an honest job and at least can cover rent!
Note from Josh: P.S. As this is the first musical rant ever created, I would appreciate some very nice opinions and maybe a night of pleasure from some of the fine ladies who have just experienced this. BTW, I’d like to thank all the little people…really. The midgets have just been fantastic. And I’d also like to thank all the rantists out there for being in this skit and to all the skaters and snowboarders for just being tight like that. Hey, and just a reminder, the MedPlus Skatepark is gonna be done in T. Minus 3 WEEKS!!! AS A FACT!!!! It’ll only cost $11,000 too!!! AND, AS AN ADDED BONUS, I HAVE A BELLY BUTTON!!!!!!!!