...Choose One, makng you better feeling

    Hey, some people just aren’t philosophical…and that’s why this world isn’t workin’

            My rants just seem to be few and far between, huh?  But they ARE the best, you have to agree…when there is something to rant about… 

              But I have finally found it: a low-lying controversy that has been plaguing our pretty poor society for a long, long time.  (And if you think the PRESIDENT is running this country, you have just been sucking on the political pacifier for tooooo long.)  Lemme tell you, the el problemo is that people just don’t care to be smart anymore.  Take Mike for instance.  He is just not a smart guy.  I mean look at him.  Listen to the stuff he says.  No offense, but he is obviously a very retarded person.  He should be in a padded room or something.  He moved his seat in Fidel Casto’s class because he wanted to get smart like me and John, but he really just wanted to wuss out because of our smartness and also a slightly serious ant-breeding problem in her floor near our desks.  But eeeeeeenyways, back at the ranch, no one wants to get smart.  Or they could just be like Feltz and live in complete denial of their idiocy and pretend to be smart by reading Shakespeare, which nobody likes, and Charles Dickens, whose only good story was about Christmas so he can shut the up about whatever else because A Tale of Two Cities was the most insanely degrading and retarded book I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.  I HATED IT.  EVERY PAGE.  THERE WAS A CHAPTER IN IT CALLED: A DISAPPOINTMENT.  That’s funny – BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE WHOLE BOOK WAS A DISAPPOINTMENT.  Hey, I am just telling you guys because I love you.  It’s constructive-FUCKING-criticism.  Man, I sound like Sam Kinison…or Clay when he yells at gibby…

              If people learned that whatever they thought was right is not what everyone else thought was right, then maybe they would learn to SUBMIT TO NEW IDEAS!  That’s all we need to realize is that no one person is perfect, cept for me, cuz I’m special.  The only thing I cannot accept is some other religion, like Mormonism or whatever it is.  No offense to mormons, but my religion is to be followed and not strayed from so bite that.  Man, I feel like some hot sex right now, so you nice-looking ladies need to come over right now and get the best feeling of your life…while listening to Stone Temple Pilots and The Gin Blossoms…and hot breathy voices in the night…yep…sounds gooood…

              Basically though, comedy, skateboarding, sex, and tragedy are the best philosophies you will ever know, so go out to your local anime store and rent some good tapes like Cowboy Bebop, Gundam Wing, and Outlaw Star.  And be sure to go and rent some good comedies too like Blazing Saddles, Ace Ventura 2, Road Trip, Half-Baked, and also watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force on Thursdays and Sundays.  Don’t forget One Step Beyond, Guilty, and all the CKY tapes…  OH yes, Don’t forget to read the Lord of The Rings if you haven’t because it is bad and it looks like the BRUINS ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS BABY!!!! WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!!!

              And thanks Zack for pointing out that fighting works, because I have taken Karate from my dad and gotten my “black belt” and I have also tried Judo and meditation and believe me folks: MIKE IS FUN TO BEAT ON!!!   And mike, one more thing – YOU GO GET THE CAMERA RIGHT NOW TO TAPE ME SKATING BECAUSE I SAID IT!!!  

  Just remember, It’s not cheating if it’s in a different area code, if you were too wasted to remember, or if it was two girls at once…

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