I don’t understand this, and I don’t think many other people even realize it, but why does everyone just THINK and get it stuck in their THICK HEADS that everyone needs a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it their psychological urge to have a relationship? Personally I get along pretty good with my skateboard, guitar, and ps2, but women are pretty hard to deal with sometimes… especially my @#%# mom!

I don’t think I can ever get too serious with women…they all seems so fragile and stuff… I want a woman who can take a spill while snowboarding, get right back up, and laugh. (partly because that’s what I do, so I wouldn’t look so stupid laughing by myself) Thinking about this kinda makes me think of Emily, but hey, I don’t think there is ever gonna be another her, so I’d best just get on with my life. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with having one, it’s just people have got it in their minds that if you DON’T have a boyfriend or girlfriend or a date to homecoming, then you should BE SHUNNED AND THROWN INTO THE DIRTY STREETS AND STONED TO DEATH. (and not on weed gibbie, no no no…)

I think people need to get in touch with their feelings because most are turning into these little automatons that want love constantly and can’t be happy with themselves…and it is really starting to freak me out. Please stop acting like that, people. Go get yourselves a chocolate bar instead…it never says you’re immature, it can’t dump you, it can’t tell you to grow up…nestle likes you just the way you are… Don’t you feel better now?

NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG, SEX IS FUN! Seriously, I don’t know where we’d be without sex and I personally enjoy it myself. The only thing is, if you are dating the other person, and then you get it on in your parent’s station wagon behind the mall, (my personal favorite spot), then the day after when you see each other, it gets…….weird… I can’t explain it…just find out for yourself… If it does get weird, chances are, you’ll break up within a week.

Below, I have made a couple specs for the perfect woman, so give’r a look see and if you ladies meet these pretty closely, gimme a ring…

1. Great body is always a plus, so I don’t have to close my eyes when we get it on
2. Not afraid of getting hurt or doing crazy stuff 3. Must be sensitive sometimes, but not always, because they have to be crazy too
4. Must like extreme sports
5. Must run or play some kind of sport (gotta like football!)
6. Must like to talk openly about things
7. Must be a very horny person to satisfy my horniness (are ya steamin, yet?)
8. They gotta love music, period…
9. If they can play some video games, then that is definitely a plus (as long as they let me win)
10. They have to enjoy humor, or this is never gonna work
12. They have to think “outside the box.” (some might think they do, but they don’t, as very few actually do)

well, that’s it… hope you’ve learned something…. I sure didn’t………

STP forever! Screw the lead singer’s wife! She was a punk-bitch anyway!
Go forth and break the law!
Go and visit our messed up poetry site at www.expage.com/elementfactorypoetry