The Candy Rant

there's a baby ruth in the pool!!!  Run!!!

  Some people say I’m crazy, some people say I’m like a kid and I should grow up, and most cops just say “you’re coming with me, mister…” I don’t know about all that, but I do know that I am who I am and I like what I like…like candy for example.  I don’t have an especially big sweet tooth for everything, but when I comes down to it at the Stop n’ Go Mart’s candy section, I have to lay down some concern due to my lack of decisions in this particular area of the store.  The problem is…flat out and frank…too much candy, not much money…

However, candy is convenient in the way that it can easily be lifted from the store without much attention unlike beer which I have tried to no avail passing it off as a genital erection.  I am starting to sound too smart….hold on…. damn huge boobs yes sex ass….wahoo!!! Ok, on with my favorite candies along with descriptions of their particular palette… Top 20

1.Pixy Stix – Two words; flavored, sugar.  My favorite tooth rotter of all time…I love it like a brotha

100 Grand – This thing is crunchy, creamy, and chewy all at the same time…I know exactly what the hell I’d do with a hundred grand…

Gobstopper – When you bite them, they go through different layers of flavor so it’s like 4 jawbreakers in one…God bless Willy Wonka…

Nerd Rope – I used to think nerds were the shit but now they are on like a sweet twizzler thing so it’s like 10 times better.  It’s too bad not too many gas stations sell this…

Spree – They are hard and yummy……..yep that’s about it, but they’re real good……

Shock Tarts – They are like the Sprees above but they are chewy and have a really sour taste to them which kicks ass.

Gummy Worms – I liked the bears at first, but then I found out that worms were the same price, but bigger.  They are chewy and satisfying…

Sour Patch Kids – now kids, you can get into very bad trouble with these and I’m just letting you know now.  I have been placed into some strange situations after eating these and combining it with physical activity, medicine, or just about anything else that’ll throw me over the edge…like dope or beer for example…  Don’t try this at home unless you are over the age of 16…

Skittles – this is like the all time holiday present for me.  If my parents don’t know what to get me or don’t have enough cash to get it, one word…skittles.  They are good though so I can’t complain, even though I am starting to get a little sick of them.

Nestle Crunch – Chocolate crunchy stuff…nestle, you have done it again…  Not only have you made chocolate, but it is crunchy too! Wow!

Big Kitkat Bar – The little ones are just not good enough to satisfy my wisdom tooth of sweetness…

Crispy M&Ms – M&ms are ok but the crispy ones are way better… I don’t care what Ian or Heath says so take that faggot!

Milky Way – It’s chewy and it’s pretty good if you freeze it so the chocolate gets nice and hard…

Raisinettes – chocolate covered raisins; I was born and weaned on this shit and it’s great in the car or when you’re watching Bondage Sex Wars 3000 on Pay Per View

Reese Cups – I always will remember the fights me and my relatives had on Halloween about trading for Reese Cups because they were the big tight back in the day. Yea, and they are still pretty good now.

Starburst – If it’s still in the wrapper…

Bubble Tape – This stuff runs out faster than laxative induced diahrrea but it’s pretty good while it lasts.  I had a bubble about the size of my face once.