Michael Tsujimoto: No problem Chachi.
Chris Johnson: Now Mr. Tsujimoto I happen to know alot about you. I have seen the footage and have seen the talent you possess but for the fans that have no clue who the hell you are could you fill them in?
Tsujimoto: Sure thing, let's put it this way...I'm the Best from the West, I am Michael Tsujimoto. I am originally from Van Nuys,CA..but I now live in this hell hole known as WV...I've wrestled for Ground Zero Wrestling in northern WV for about a year now. I have also had professional training, which I use to my advantage against most of my clueless, crackhead opponents. I consider myself a submission wrestler, though you cant deny it, I'm spotty as hell. Basically I'm a 5'8'', 133 lbs. talented bastard and sexual dynamo.
Chris Johnson: It sounds like I'm in the presence of another ego maniac, lucky me.
Tsujimoto: Hey now...I've been getting shit for my cockiness for quite some time now..but ya know what, I see nothing wrong with being cocky, as long as I can back it up.
Chris Johnson: Have you been able to back it up in Ground Zero Wrestling?
Tsujimoto: Well, have you seen my footage? I mean, really watched it? I held their excuse for a heavyweight title for 7 months. Sure, maybe I defended it less than 10 times in those 7 months...but the fact remains, I held the title for 7 months. I dominated guys twice my size like Michael Epique. Sure, maybe Cody Goodlin helped me out, but who won the match...that was me. Speaking of Cody Goodlin, last time I checked, I beat him for my very first GZW Heavyweight Championship in the 2001 match of the year...so to put it bluntly...I always backed it up in Gay Zebra Wrestling.
Chris Johnson: Point well taken, it does look like you have been able to back your mouth up in GZW. But will this interview is for NGW. Most are probably wondering why this interview is even being conducted to begin with. Well, rumor has it you have something you want to prove in.....NEW GENERATION WRESTLING???
Tsujimoto: Okay, here the story. I lost a Loser Leaves GZW match against Michael Epique. I was screwed royally in the match, but either way, I've been fired from there. So I notice we are affiliated with you NGW guys, so I decided to go ahead and jump ship so to speak..there is two other reasons I come to NGW though...One is a man called THUG. This is obviously a kid who has listened to one too many Eminem CDs. I mean, a white kid trying to act black? How original is that? Well, this THUG guy has been tryin to pull a 187 on my ass over the internet since I met him. It's obvious, the kid is jealous. And he should be...because I'm not white, so there is envy right there..and I'm sure THUG has more sleepless nights worrying about Michael Tsujmoto than he does about grafitti or breakdancing or whatever he's into. The moment I arrive in NGW, I'ma be throwin bows, so THUG betta just call his baby mama.Chris Johnson: Wait a minute, you want to enter NGW and the first thing you do is go after our Universal Champion? It sounds like a case of someone trying to take a a prize, or a trophy, the most prestigious Title in the world today back home. Am I completly off on this one?
Tsujimoto: Well...seeing how I have better things to do than keep up with the current happenings in NGW..I wasn't aware THUG was any sort of champion. Now that I know he is, I shouldn't have to be too worried about any of the other competition in the fed if they cant even handle a guy named THUG. Yea, my plan is basically this. I'm gonna come to NGW..at a time when you'll least expect me, and I'm gonna beat THUG's black ass, take his title, take 3 of the NGW Divas, take them back to my hotel/motel/car and proceed to have a victory celebration in the form of hardcore teen sex. Then I might give THUG a re-match, if he promises not to jack my car.
Chris Johnson: Michael, Michael, Michael, who do you think Thug is? Just another piece of garbage like the rest of the cronnies you worked with in GZW? Micheal, Thug is the real deal, the "Feature Presentation" your "Ghetto Fantasy". The success story of this guy is amazing, growing up in South Philly living in a cardboard box! Then making his way to St. Marys W.V. looking to make something of him self, Thug started out as a garbage wrestler doing it the only way he could, but over time turned his self in to one of the most talented wrestlers in NGW today. By combining technical wrestling with power moves and agile perfection Thug is the total package and THUG does equal Truly Hardcore & Undenably Great! How the hell can you match up to the buddy?
Tsujimoto: Well, I must say, thats a touching story about THUG...but what was he thinkin..makin something of himself in West Virginia? Why didnt he just go to like..Deleware or something. Anyway, I know THUG is a powerful guy who can fly..well gues what...I'm a small guy who knows Kung Fu. Oh sure I can fly too, I can do garbage, technical, I do it all..but THUg better stop living in his ghetto fantasy world, because when I come there, I will bring him back down to earth..all it will take is one Passion Propellar, and I might even throw in a SUBmission Impossible if I get bored...I see him as much better competition than a lot of guys I've worked with...but at this point, I see him as just another chum who doesn't know what's in store for him.
Chris Johnson: Michael, I just got off the phone with Thug. This is what he had to say, "Mr. Tsujimoto I hear that you have been taken my words fo' real? Now you wanna a shot at me? Well hell, as Commish' of NGW, all I can say is if you want me you know where to find me and I will be more than glad to get you a South Philly style ass whoopin' and send you packin' back to Chesta!" Michael there you heard Thug isn't backing down at all....
Tsujimoto: Good, if he did back down, I'd come there anyway to kick his ass for being such a twat. I'm ready for this..THUG may feel he has an advantage since I havent wrestled since August. Well, THUG, dont worry, I'ma be in extra training on the Oak Glen football field and for the two indy feds I do ring crew for...trust me, if I tell them about this bully THUG, then they will be sure to help me out. I've got it all figured out. And I'm sure after my waste of time down there in St.Marys,WV...I would love for THUG to send me back to "Chesta"..but Chris Johnson, I have a question for you....
Chris Johnson: A question for me? That's odd, but shoot....
Tsujimoto: Do you know what its like to be Michael Tsujimoto?
Chris Johnson: Well,.....no, not really..
Tsujimoto: Well Cracka, I'm gonna tell you what its like. It's like having a set of really big tits. I mean, when a chick has the big tits, everybody is like "hey look at them"..but when you're Michael Tsujimoto, there need not be any big tits, people are still gonna say "Hey, look at him!" yea...thats how it feels...and it feels damn good...specially when I bust out the strut.
Chris Johnson: Okay superstar, you keep that big ego of yours in check will ya?
Tsujimoto: oh no worries, this ego is not big....I just like to talk shit...and make people hate me, which I think I am succeeding at...with my two new "friends" Cracka Chris Johnson and THUG.
Chris Johnson: Well, I think I have done my job, and introduced the world of NGW to Michael Tsujimoto, they may hate me for it but I did my job none the less, anything you wanna close out with?
Tsujimoto: Yes...thanks for the interview chachi...I know every female who read that has already went through abour four screaming climaxes...but on a final note..all women out there..support NGW. Support Michael Tsujimoto. Come to the show. Come watch me becoem to new Universal Champion. If you have a hot friend, bring her. If you have a hot mom, bring her too...and I will sign any part of your lovely little bodies...that my friends is all I have to say..now for my neat catchphrase..get ready....coz I'm Michael Tsujimoto, and the skills won't stop...til' my casket drops!