Adam Awful & Cold Cash came to a draw to continue their 4 year feud! The finish saw Adam Awful go for a roaring elbow causing Cold Cash to lose his ear and dropping him to the mat. Awful went to the top post and attempted the "Fat Man Drop" but Cold Cash retardedly rolled on his side breaking his ribs and Awfuls 3rd vertebrae!! Rushing both of them to the hospital! "The Fat Whore" Lindsy wanted to go to the hospital with Awful but she couldn't fit in any of the doors! So she had to stay and waste valuable oxygen!
Damion Blaze def. "The No Skill" Coby Diehl by countout when he rammed a 5ft. light tube in his rectum causing uncontrollable bleeding and made Diehl run screaming from the ring! Blaze who received an erection from the previous events decided to ram a light tube in his own ass!!
Twizted Youth def. Wasted Life by pile driving him on top of a pumpkin with salt poured in it and light bulb under the salt! Despite missing the pumpkin all together Wasted started bleeding and screaming that the salt burned and was then put in a retarded submission that made Wasted say "This doesn't hurt you fat fuck!" but oddly tapped out!! Twizted then took the pumpkin and begain eating it unmercifully because he is fat and can not lose any weight!
"The Fat Whore" Lindsy def. Simply Disgusting. Lindsy returned in her horribly disgusting pants that she should never wear again by sitting on her head and causing her to have 5 blood vessels burst. Lindsy then took a drink of pop and started selling so horribly it sounded like she was having an orgasm making every human being in the 3 mile radius puke!! Simply Disgusting did not die however, she is some where laying all over a guy that already has another fat whore, because she is a slut!
The Asian Connection def. Shit Eaters Deluxe & The Ultra-Violent Ass-Rapers. Not by any skill of their however because they were eating china food, they won because The Shit Eaters Deluxe & The Ultra-Violent Ass Rapers realized they had similar interests and left the ring to go to a private locker room by themselves! This caused Asian Connection to win the Universal Tag Team Championships of the World, they still don't know it yet because they passed out from the China Food!
A new Universal Heavyweight Champion of the World was crowned when Adam Awful def. Damion Blaze with the 18 Rings through 48 flaming tables with lighttubes, barbwire, his dildo, and a barbwire two by four off of a couch! After the match Awful was screaming "It must be 2005! It must be 2005!"
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