Bender's Sex Tips- class is in session BIATCH

• [THE BULLWiNKLE] -- When you're entering your partner from the rear and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your hands up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers and stick out your tongue while emitting a high pitched turkey gobble.
• [THE CAMEL CLUTCH] -- When she's lying on her stomach with you giving it to her from behind, grabb her underneath the chin and pull straight back with both hands.
• [THE HOUDINI]-- Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.
• [THE CODE OF SILENCE]-- Anytime you fuck a girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.
• [THE SNOWMOBiLE] Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
• [THE FORTUNE COOKIE] -- After you're done banging some chick, you slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next customer.
• [THE ANGRY DRAGON]-- Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon.
• [THE RAM] -- Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall against her head should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
• [THE BEETLE CLIP] -- You insert your thumb into the snatch and forefinger into the poopshoot and try your damndest to make them touch each other.
• [RUMPLEDFORESKiN] -- When some girl makes you stop fucking her because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name, causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale).
• THE ZOMBIE MASK]-- While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
• [THE REPUNZEL] -- When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or begging will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair.
• [THE FUR BALL] -- You're chomping away at some trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
• [DIRTY SANCHEZ]-- A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
• [CUM GUZZLiNG SPERM BURPiNG BiTCH]-- The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.
• [THE SCREWNiCORN]-- When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
• [JELLY DOUGNUT]-- All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
• [THE DiVOT] -- A must for golfers! When you've got your hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last pube out of her.
• [THE STiNKY PiNKY] -- When you're going at it from the back and you insert a pinky finger in along side your member, reach around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head back.
• [THE FLAMING AMAZON]-- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwingsome chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
• [THE WOODY WOODPECKER] -- When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
• [DONKEY PUNCH]-- Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass.
• [RAPE AND PiLLAGE] -- Any four of the above events performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening.