Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al.
And he lived in the sewer with his hamster pal.
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve,
so he packed up his accordion and had to move
to a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree,
and he worked in a nasal decongestant factory,
and he played on the company bowling team,
and every single night he had this strange recurring dream
where he was wearing lederhosen in a vat of sour cream.
But that's really not important to the story.
Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
with a spatula tattooed on her arm (on her arm).
But he didn't keep in touch,
and he lost her number.
Then he got himself a job on a tater tot farm,
and he spent his life savings on a split-level cave
twenty miles below the surface of the earth (of the earth).
And he really makes a mighty fine
jelly bean and pickle sandwich,
for what it's worth.
Then one day Al was in the forest trying to get a tan,
when he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man.
He was caught in a bear trap, and Al set him free.
And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be,
and it turns out he's a big shot producer on TV.
So he gives Al a contract and whaddaya know?
Now he's got his very own Weird Al Show!