Who's that waddlin' down the street?
It's just me, 'cause I love to eat.
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham.
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's
gotta be an aerial view.
Now my doctor tells me
there's just one thing left to do-

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Might seem a little severe.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear.
Blow, Fatty!

Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce.
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss.
Walked down an alley and I got stuck.
I got more rolls than a pastry truck.
When I'm all done eating
I eat a little more.
When I leave the room
first I gotta grease the door.

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Can't have another éclair.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere.

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.

No more pie now.
No more créme brulee.
Lay off the gravy.
And souffle.
No french fri-yi-yies now.
No ice cream parfait.
Mr. Cheese Nacho,
stay away.

Oh, I think I'd sell my soul
for a triple patty melt.
But I need a boomerang
when I put on my belt.

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Lay off the 3 Musketeers.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Until my big booty disappears.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears.
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
'Cause I haven't seen my feet in years.

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet.