DUDE! We've got cash
*Tulio and Miguel are playing dice in the streets. Suffisive to say they are winning large stacks of money*
DUDE! We've got cash
hehehe.... this is pretty cool.
The guy they're playing with demands one more roll and bets a map and demands they use his dice*
DUDE! are you sure you can win.
yeah I can win
*the guys roll the dice and win. As they are pulling up their cash their dice falls out and lands on seven... they guy they're are playing with drops the dice a few times each time it comes up seven. He yells at them and a soldier walks up*
DUDE! how dare you use loaded dice!
What are you talking about this was obviously your idea!
*Tulio and Miguel argue then take off and jump over a wall*
DUDE! we are just to good
Yeah man we're good.... hey do you smell something... I think it's a bull
*looks up and sees they're in a pin with a bull*
*Screams like girls*
*Tulio and Miguel run off and some how end up on a boat*
DUDE! How'd we end up on a boat.
We got away from that bull didn't we?
DUDE! I guess your right
*it turns out that Tulio and Miguel are on Cortes' ship*
NAAAAAAHHHH!
DUDE! The horse is gonna get us caught!
Hey horse.... wanna buy an apple*Miguel pulls up his shirt reveling several apples*
DUDE! Where'd you get those?
Here and there
*Miguel throws an apple. The two with the horse spend the next five minutes watching the apple bounce around and it then falls off the boat. The horse follows.*
DUDE! That was wierd!
*Tulio and Miguel think that it would be best to leave the ship with all of the commotion caused by the horse and hop in a row boat. Miguel helps the horse get in the boat*
DUDE! Why'd you get the horse.
it may come in handy
*the horse starts rummaging through a sack*
DUDE! It just ate our supplies!
I'm sure we'll be fine
*meanwhile back on Cortes' ship*
DUDE! Where's my horse!?!?!
*a few days later, Tulio, Miguel and the horse and starving tired and barely hanging on*
DUDE! Did you ever imagine it would end this way
well, the boat was a suprise
DUDE! What the crap is that supposed to mean?
WEll, I mean all there is, is you me and the horse.... *sticks hand out of boat and picks up a handful of sand* and this sand... I wonder how this tastes....
DUDE! Do you know what that means!?!?
*Crunch Crunch!!!* mmmm... yeah... we can live off the sand it's pretty good
DUDE! Why are you eating sand? And it means we're on land!!! and everything on the map is right here to!!!!
So?
NAAAHHH!!!
Well, I guess the horse has a point...
DUDE! You an understand the horse?
Yeah I can man.... honest...
DUDE! Let's just find some food
*Tulio, Miguel and the horse set out... pretty soon Tulio comes across a tree with some fruit in it*
DUDE! I found food!
*Crunch Crunch!*mmmm... good sand...
DUDE! That's just gross
*once again Tulio Miguel and there faithful dog like follower horse set out to find the golden city of el dorado*
*a little while later a girl with a chest that sticks out promenently and is as skinny as a broom stick with the exception of her rather large hips runs into them and she is being chased by a bunch of men on horseback*
DUDE! Check out those hips.... you could squash a cow with those things.
Nevermind the strange girl with the large hips... where did this armadillo come from?
*the four get surrounded by the men on horseback and they start throwing around a bundle of cloth. It hits Tulio in the head and turns out to be rather hard. Then some how they end up in the golden city of el dorado*
DUDE! How'd we get here?
Welcome strange men... *remembers picture of two men riding somehthing*... might you be gods....
They couldn't possibly be gods!
Yes they are they showed me their awesome power before we got here
Yeah we're gods
DUDE! You never told me you were a god! And how are you talking Aztec?
that's not important right now... the important thing is that I'm a god!!!!! oh yeah... and uhhhh... so are you
Then prove it
ok then.... If I'm a god let that volcano over yonder erupt
*volcano mysteriously erupts*
oooooooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
DUDE! How'd you do that?
Simple dude, I'm a god *prances around*
DUDE! STOP THAT!
*volcano mysteriously stops*
oooooooooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
well.... that works... I guess *storms off*
NAAAAHHH!!!
DUDE! I still don't see why you brought the horse
hey, chiefy, big guy, head honcho, the big man, the boss man, the man in charge, the man with the pants, the big cheese.... the gods.... they need a really nice place to stay... and some good clothes to
Alriiiiiiiiighty then...
*Tulio, Miguel and the horse are taken to a ratehr nice place and given clothes. the girl follows*
*Tulio and Miguel change, and pretty soon the freaky guy in the bone mask shows up again insisting they come outside. outside everyone is prepared to throw a man into a whirlpool*
We give you this offering in hopes that it'll appease you
DUDE! That's just wrong
Your offering has angered the gods!!
DUDE! What are you doing!
how's that?
Your offering isn't good enough you need uhhhhh.....
Need what?
GOLD!!!!!
yeah that's it!!! GOOOOOOLLLLLDDDDD!!!!!! HEHEHE!!!!
Alriiiiiiiighty then....
*tons of people start throwing gold into the whirlpool*
DUDE! What are they doing!?!?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Hey chiefy the gods say that if you don't take the gold to their home so they can bask in your offering they will have me squash you with my massive rear end.
*cringes* Alriiiiiiiiiiighty..... then.....
*pretty soon Tulio Miguel the horse... and oh yeah... the armadillo to find themselves in their new home with mountains of gold*
I'm going out
DUDE! it'll be hard enough to keep this up without you prancing around
NAAAAAHHHH!!!!
&DUDE! Who asked you!?!?!
ahhhhhh come on let him go
*drools* DUDE!.... you can go anywhere you want
BYE!!!
*Miguel wonders around the town. He decides he likes it here. Tulio decides he wants to leave with the gold and the girl. One thing leads to another and the Freaky guy in the bone mask ends up bringing a giant statue to life and chasing after Tulio and Miguel*
ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!
*Screams like girls*
*Tulio and Miguel take off. They find themselves on the cliff in front of the giant whirlpool. The freaky guy in the bone mask walks out in front of the statue.*
AHHHHH it appears the mighty gods have fallen...
DUDE! Have you seen my horse?
WHAT ARE YOU THNKING!!!! THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT SCENE IN WHICH I, THE BAD GUY, HAVE THE GOOD GUYS IN FRONT OF A PRACTICALLY INESCAPABLE DOOM IN WHICH HOPE IS SLIGHT BUT THEY'LL PROBABLY GET OUT OF ANYWAY!!!! GO AWAY!!!
My bad man *leaves*
Now... where was I?
NAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Quiet you!*backhands the horse*
NAAAAAH!!!! *collapses*
OH COME ON MAN!!!! You bring me all the way across the world to pretend to be gods when were not.... and what's worst of all... YOU GOT THE HORSE HURT!!!
DUDE! and why is the horse here in the first place.... if it wasn't for your lame brain ideas we wouldn't be here now!!!
*grins stupidly*
*Tulio and Miguel start arguing and soon sound like chipmunks they are yelling so fast... They suddenly punch the Freaky guy in the bone mask.... something else happens and the freaky guy in the bone mask falls into the whirlpool*
DUDE! WE DID IT!!!!
Now we can stay here.... FOREVER!!!!
DUDE! what are you talking about? I'm leaving with the the girl with the big hiney
ahhhh fooey on you...
*Tulio and the girl with the big fanny get in the boat with their gold. Miguel watches as they leave but see smoke from where cortes is coming. He hopes on his not so faithful steed of a horse and charges down the hill after ordering the chief to collapse some pillars that will block the entrance. Miguel hops into the boat and they collide the boat into another couple of pillars.*
*Screams like girls*
*they manage to close another part of the entrance. Tulio, Miguel, the horse and the girl hide. The freaky guy in the bone mask runs up to the closed entrance with Cortes behind him. Yes somehow the freaky man in the bone mask survived.*
IT WAS RIGHT HERE!!!! I SWEAR!!!!
Nothings here... oh well, we'll sell him to the Duke... I heard he needs a new love slave.... I bet he'll pay good for this one
I don't swing that way baby
Too bad... MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*after Cortes leaves Tulio, Miguel, the girl and the horse run off together... to who knows where... to do who knows what.... oh well... I'm sure they lived happily ever after wherever they went*