Giant Gonzales

WWF 1993

When one thinks of the WWF from this time period, names like Doink The Clown, Skinner, Max Moon, Damian Damento, Mr. Hughes, Kamala, Ludvig Borga and IRS come to mind. But none even hold a yard stick close enough to poke the REAL Crap of the crop, that is The Giant Gonzalez. After being released by WCW where he competed as El Gigante (The Giant in spanish), Vince, probably on drugs, or been forced to make the following decision after Pat Patterson threatened to rape him, Vince came a' callin to Mr. Jorge Gonzalez. You see, gonzalez was 7'7" and weighed supposedly 450 pounds. And well, thats all he had going for him, 'cause his in ring work make Hulk Hogan matches look like ***** classics. Finally, the time came, it was the 1993 Royal Rumble Match and Undertaker just cleaned house. All of a sudden, a Giant in a Body suit with imprints of muscles and veins on it with puffy hair SLOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLY stomped to ringside with Harvey Wipplman while Heenan & Monsoon try to shove him down our throat as much as they could in 30 seconds. Well, after a NOT so epic staredown like Hogan/Andre, he eliminated Undertaker illegally and beat the snot out of him.

Wow, what a threatening man.

Gonzalez would repeatedly beat the hell out of jobbers leading up to the biggest event of the year. Wrestlemania IX. After about 10 hours of nothing, Gonzalez chokes Taker out with Harvey Wippleman's skid-mark underpants. Anyway, if THIS wasn't enough, Gonzalez pulled Insta-feud #204 by stealing the Undertaker's urn. Wow. Makes you wanna care even more. Anyway, after a few squashes and several jobs to the Undertaker in an R.I.P match at Summerslam that year, ol' Jorge packed up his bag, put on a sombrero and took off for Argentina. Too bad it wasn't flight TWA 800.