Wedding Day Jitters
AKA
The SHIT Story

(Fic challenge featuring Taker)

Hagitha

The day is finally here...I'm moments away from having everything I ever
wanted and the dear lovely man I'm marrying is clueless. All I want is some
publicity and air time. He honestly thinks I love him. If it wasn't so
pathetic,
I'd laugh. Me love him? God, I'm half his age and I HATE wrestling. I
can't
stand boxing, or racing, or any of that other shit he loves so much, but for
this payday, I can pretend.

It is a shame that he's so old, because he's not bad in bed. He's not
great,
either, but he's not bad. He's just too fast for me. He's not worried
about
me when we're intimate and that drives me insane. I've had to fake every
orgasm I've ever had in his presence (remember what I said about the
acting?).
Anyway, I'm off-track here. Oh yes, I was laughing at the idea of that old
fart actually thinking I care about him. I care about two things. Myself
and
that bank account that becomes half mine after today.

I am having a hard time figuring out why the others backstage don't like me.
I have worked so hard to be a female Undertaker and they hate me! I don't
get it. I mean, I've never liked wrestling, but I've done so much research
on
Mark to impress those jackasses about how much I know about my 'beloved'
future
husband. And I swear, if I have to go to one more boxing match, I'm going
to
pull every dyed hair out of my head! And that's a promise. Oh shit, I
have
to finish this later. They're telling me it's time. Well, enough of this
for now. When I get back to this later, I'll be Mrs. Mark Callaway (shit,
is
that how you spell his last name?) and all that lovely money will be mine.
Now, if I can just get pregnant, I won't have to ever worry about anything
ever
again.


Taker

I am an idiot. A mindless, stupid idiot. A moron even. I don't want to
get
married. I've been there and done that and it wasn't worth remembering.
Now
I'm willingly doing it again? And for what? Because she's good in bed?
Yeah, when you're hard up, anything's good in bed. I can't believe I let
her
sucker me into this.

Let me first get to what started this, in case I want to read it later after
she's a really dulled memory. I met her at a signing and she said she
wasn't
a fan of mine. That didn't bother me. Hell, it's not like she was hot or
anything. I would have been upset if she'd been a hottie and a fan of HHH's
or
something. Instead, I got a pretty ugly woman who didn't know jackshit
about
wrestling. Not exactly what I'd pictured in a wife. Now I've confused
myself.
I can freely admit on this paper that I don't love her, don't like her,
and
don't find her attractive, but I defend her to all my friends and fans.
What
gives? Why can't I just be honest with myself and admit that I made a
mistake
when I got involved with her? I can't say no now...my mother's here and the
caterer has been paid. I stole that one from a movie. Anyway, I'm stuck.
I
gotta do it. Shit.

Maybe one day I'll learn. Hell, maybe I have learned, but I'm too late to
take the final exam. Shit. I could just throw a tantrum, that's what I'm
in
the mood for. What would that look like? A big man like myself kicking and
screaming that I don't want to get married. Shit. I just looked at my
watch.
It's almost time. Shit.

I don't know what to say. To keep up appearances (I don't want to make my
fans think I'm a pussy), I guess I gotta go out there and go through with
it.
Gotta smile nice for the cameras. Gotta try to ignore what everyone's said
about her. Gotta ignore the fact that she isn't at all what I want in a
woman.
By the way, she thinks she's so smart be pretending to be interested in the
stuff I like. I know she hates it. The woman isn't that good an actress,
though she might like to think otherwise. I drag her to the boxing matches
just to
piss her off...hell, can I help it if I'm waiting for someone to throw a
stray punch and knock her out? Wishful thinking. Hell, that's what I'll
think
about when we have to take those stupid pictures. Shit. Speaking of which,
it's about that time, so I guess I'll get out there and make nice. Shit.
God
help me if she gets pregnant, that's all I can say. Shit.