From the Desk of the Stalker

 

To: rainbowbrite@freak.net

From: stalker@rightbehindyou.com

Subject: Breaking up is hard to do man.

 

 

 

Hey man…

 

Like…wow man.  I’ve stalked you man.  For real man.  Totally.  And while I find you to be a funny man, man, I can’t keep up.  I mean…how many times can you say man, man, in a single promo?  Nobody’s ever gonna accuse you of being eloquent man.  For real man.  I mean…its like…man.  I don’t even know man.  But chicks dig you man.  For real.  Man.

 

I’m sure that you and R…V…D…must have some seriously deep conversations man.  I mean, really man.  It’s cool man.  You have somebody to talk to and stuff.  That’s cool.  Really.  For real.  Man.

 

My doctor says I should cut back on the stalking man.  I’m like…man…totally getting my wrestlers jumbled man.  For real.  No kidding.  It’s like…I don’t know man.  Tough.  It’s true man.  It’s damn true.  What?!? Man.  Cool.  FREAK! Man.  For real.

 

I need help man.  Seriously man.  I used to be normal man.  Like…totally normal.  Or whatever.  It’s like I don’t have the edge anymore man.  Speaking of Edge, man, how’s that fine man, man? For real.  Man.  Dude.  Whatever.  Totally.

 

Whatever Man…

The Stalker…man