Just The Way You Are

Author: UtsSQ

Rated: Whatever…probably R/NC-17 like most of my stuff…language, nudity, con/non-con…all the usual goodies

*Notes*

All right, lame as it is, let’s pretend for just a few minutes (or however long it takes you to read this) that wrestling is real. That what you see on TV is what you really get. For whatever insane reason, real life is playing out on your TV screen every week. Poor Kane…emotionally and mentally scarred…you get what I’m saying. Keep it in mind and take it from there. I’m pretty much going with the current storyline here.

1.

“Oh my God!” Trish slid to a halt, her feet almost going out from under her. She reached out, grabbing at the doorway to steady herself.

Shay didn’t bother to look up. She knew from experience that Trish was excitable. “What? Somebody didn’t fall asleep during a Lance Storm match?”

“No…you didn’t see what just happened?”

Shay looked over at the blonde woman who practically jumped up and down with excitement…or nervousness. “Clue me in already. I’ve been back here all night trying not to fall on my face from exhaustion.”

“Kane lost his match!” Trish managed to gush. “I mean…holy shit!”

“What?” Shay’s eyes widened.

“I know! Shit!” Trish was practically jumping up and down. “Supposed to be a DQ end or something…but he LOST and HAD to take OFF the MASK!”

Shay winced as Trish’s voice rose. “That’s…not good.” She finally stated.

“No kidding. He got busted open pretty good too…” Trish resumed shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I thought you’d wanna know. Since…you guys seemed to be friends and all. I don’t think he’s taking it very well.”

Shay sighed. Acquaintances, yes. Friends? Not hardly. Kane didn’t get close to anybody as a general rule. His brother, sure, but he was working for the other show. Rob, his tag partner, maybe. Doubtful but maybe. She’d met Kane on her first day working for the fed, and while Shay had been flirty, as was her style, Kane had done little more than laugh in a perfunctory way.

She had never let that bother her. The guy obviously had some issues. When it came time to be on TV, he could get the job done. But backstage he was introspective, brooding. Shay found him to be something of a challenge. One good days, he’d tilt his head and peer at her through his mask with his strange eyes, a slight smile curving his lips at her quips and innuendos. Other days he’d just shake his head and walk away. She couldn’t figure him out, and that was what made her go back and try time and time again.

“Was…Is he…hell, you know…” Shay raised her right hand and touched her cheek. The reason for the freakish mask Kane constantly wore had long ago been explained to the fans of wrestling. Burned in a fire, he was supposedly disfigured by scars.

“I don’t know. I was watching on a monitor and of course the dipshits in production threw in screwy camera angles and parlor tricks.” Trish sounded disgusted.

“Damn it. Why can’t they just leave the poor guy alone?” Shay pushed her chair away from the makeshift desk where she’d been catching up on paperwork.

“You gonna go find him? Try to talk to him?” Trish was right at her heels as Shay stepped into the hall. Kane’s match was the last of the night; there were a few stragglers moving through the halls, but nowhere near the activity from earlier in the night.

“Don’t you think somebody should?” Shay glanced at Trish. “Since I am his…friend.”

“Want me to tag along? Moral support?” Trish asked hopefully.

Shay sighed. “Wanna stare at the car wreck Trish? If his scars are bad like everybody’s been told, then I guess the idiots in production will get around to exploiting it on TV soon enough.”

“Damn. I knew you’d say something like that.” Trish shrugged in defeat. “Details on how it went later?”

“I guess.”

“Oh…and Shay…be careful. From what Rob and Steve said, he’s not in…well…I don’t know what exactly a ‘good’ mood would be for him, but this is definitely not a happy camper day.”

Shay eyed Trish and nodded, then moved away from her. Great. Hopefully Kane would not be tempted to take out his humiliation on her. The man was freaking huge; he’d probably be able to break her in half without even trying.

She was kicking herself for ever getting mixed up with this man. Could she help it that she liked the strong silent type? That since she’d hit puberty, there wasn’t a man around who she didn’t have an easy rapport with? Shay was a natural flirt, doing it without realizing it half the time. In the case of Kane, she knew she was doing it but couldn’t seem to help herself. In spite of, or maybe because of, his taciturn nature, she found herself more than just a little attracted to him.

It didn’t help matters that she was just as curious as the rest of the roster as to exactly what he was hiding behind that mask. No one really knew, except for maybe Taker, but he was just as close-mouthed on the subject as Kane was.

Shay found herself standing in front of Kane’s locker room door without quite remembering the walk there. She stared at the gray paint for several minutes, letting her mind wander. Did she really want to be the one who went in there to make sure he was all right? She became suddenly aware of how quiet the arena had become. She could make out the steady sound of the air conditioning, the muted thump as the crew upstairs cleared out the rows of chairs used in the floor seating area.

Sighing, she made herself lift a hand to knock on the door. There was no answer. She might have been relieved but she knew…she sensed…that he was in there.

“Kane?” She leaned forward, resting her forehead on the cool metal of the door. “It’s Shay. Can I come in?” She waited, hearing nothing from the room on the other side of the door. She waited a moment, then tried the knob. Locked. Maybe he’d left after all.

Before she could push away, she heard a muffled thud. Shay cocked her ear toward the door, holding her breath. Another soft sound, which took her a moment to place. A zipper. He was in there, rooting around in his gym bag, probably pretending not to have heard her knock.

Well…persistence was one of Shay’s more notable traits. She knocked again, louder this time. “Come on, big guy. Can’t stay in there forever.” The sounds had stopped. She felt as if the arena itself was somehow holding its breath. “Fine. The hard way then.” She reached up and tugged a bobby pin out of her hair. The damn annoying things came in handy in more ways than one. Her hair was too damn long; she never wore it down. It was naturally curly and tended to fly everywhere, so Shay was forced to bobby pin her dark locks into submission on a daily basis.

She wiggled the end of the pin into the lock, smiling a little. One good thing about having a law-breaking brother; a girl tended to learn some of the tricks of the trade. The lock on the door was flimsy; it didn’t take long to work the catch. Shay turned the knob and swung the door open.

Kane sat with his back to her on a bench, forearms resting on his thighs, head down. The top of his head was covered with a small black towel, the ends just long enough to block the sight of his features. He was still in his wrestling gear. His broad shoulders were bare; he’d pulled the tank straps off of his arms. His bag sat on the bench behind him, gaping open.

“Did you come to get a look at the freak?” He said, voice so low she had to strain to hear it.

“I wasn’t aware that the company had rehired Jeff Hardy,” Shay said dryly. When she was nervous she resorted to humor; it wasn’t going to work with Kane of course. She wasn’t sure he even possessed a sense of humor.

“I didn’t say you could come in.” His voice was still low, but she caught the edge in it. Like he was barely hanging on to his temper.

“You didn’t tell me to go away either,” Shay pointed out. She stepped slowly toward him. “Kane…what’s….”

“Get out.” His tone was still low and dangerous. Although his posture was fully slumped forward, she could tell how tense he was. Shay ignored his command and stood directly behind him.

She reached a hand toward his shoulder, hesitated, then touched him. His skin was smooth against her palm, warm, lightly filmed with sweat. She could feel his tension working under his skin. She slowly rubbed his shoulder, trying to offer some kind of comfort to him.

Kane permitted the massage for a few seconds, then jerked away from her hand violently. Shay took a step back as he rose to his full height. The bench he’d been sitting on tipped backward, dumping his bag to the floor. He didn’t seem to notice or care. Her back hit the door; she hadn’t been aware of moving. She could feel the cool metal through the thin material of her shirt.

“Get…out…” Kane said through gritted teeth.

Shay was groping for the doorknob, which didn’t seem to want to turn. “Kane…I just wanted…”

“OUT!” This time he didn’t even try to control his voice; he flat out yelled, the single word filled with more fury that Shay had heard her entire life. The knob twisted and she threw the door open, half sobbing when it slammed shut after she dashed through it. Her heart was pounding, and she was shaking like a leaf.

She started to lean against the door to get her breath, then thought better of it. From what she could hear now, Kane was in there systematically ripping apart the locker room. She yelped and jumped backward as something flew at the door and slammed into it hard enough to shake the metal in its frame.

“All right. Ok.” She repeated over and over to herself as she backed down the hall. There was one final crash from behind the door, followed by an almost musical tinkling. “Seven years of bad luck if that was the mirror, bud,” She muttered under her breath. Her equilibrium was coming back. Taking a deep breath, she let it out in a sigh. “Good fuckin’ grief, what the hell have they gotten us into?” She asked the empty hallway. No answer was forthcoming, of course. Shay finally put her back to Kane’s dressing room door and decided it was time to pack up and haul ass for their next city. Let somebody else try to deal with Captain Destructo. Getting mixed up with him would put Shay in way over her head, and she didn’t think she was quite ready for that yet.

2.

After a tense week, Monday rolled around again. Nobody knew what was going to happen, or even if Kane was going to show up. He’d blown off the weekend’s house shows to hide out. If any of the other talent pulled a stunt like that they would have kissed their jobs goodbye; but once again sensing a cash cow about to rear its head, they decided to see what Kane would do and capture it for a worldwide audience.

Shay was disgusted when she overheard Bischoff discussing that very thing with a few members of the camera crew. At least one camera was to stay with Kane during the entire two hour broadcast, just in case something ‘interesting’ happened. She hoped for his own sake that Kane stayed at home or wherever the hell he was and spared himself further indignity.

No such luck. An hour before the show was to go on the air, a tech excitedly ran into the medical room to spread the word: Kane was in the arena but he’d disappeared into a locker room. Shay rolled her eyes as the trainers began speculating, wondering why these people couldn’t just mind their own business. Sure she had tried to reach out to him last week, but not to exploit him. Of course, after tonight it would seem that everyone was out to use him.

She finished storing her supplies and wandered out into the hall. Two guys with cameras ran past, heading toward the back gate where the wrestlers entered. Shay sighed and went in the opposite direction. This was crazy. With all the other things going on, with fifty writers sitting around twiddling their thumbs, all they wanted to do was chase Kane around.

“Morons…” she said under her breath. She stopped at the catering table, wrinkled her nose at the unappetizing looking food, then continued on. She wouldn’t have to be back in the med room until the show started.

At the next corner she was almost knocked off her feet by Tom, one of the veteran cameramen. Grinning, he helped Shay catch her balance.

“Is there a fire or something?” She asked, irritated, before he could jog away. Tom was one of the few crew members she knew.

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” He said with a laugh. “Bischoff offered a bonus to whoever gets to Kane first.”

Shay rolled her eyes. “Tell me you are not pulling a tabloid stunt like that Tom. I thought you were better than that.”

He actually looked hurt. “Hey…I’m not after Kane. That’s for those young morons. If Kane wants to be on TV, then I say let him find a camera on his own time.”

“So why the hell are you running then?” Shay said, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth.

“Are you kidding? Trish and Stacy are starting promos for the new diva shoot. The head brass wants to start with some shower shots.”

“Tom…you are a perverted old man,” Shay said with a laugh.

“Yeah well…perverts have to make a living too.” He swung his camera up to his shoulder and pointed it at her. “So…if ya see Kane, you gonna come find me and let me know?”

“Um…No. And get that thing outta my face,” She shoved the lens aside and walked away on the sound of his laughter.

Shay finally ended up in the makeup room, watching Bubba Ray get a quick haircut from his girlfriend, Trina.

“I don’t know why you don’t just let your hair grow,” Trina grumped. Bubba’s hair was so short it was pretty much just five o’clock shadow on his skull.

“Because I would look like a large white bowling ball with hair on it,” Bubba answered.

“And? You look like a large white bowling ball anyway.” Shay spoke up from her perch on the counter. Bubba shot her a grin, while Trina tried to level her with the evil eye.

“Watch it. You don’t see me making comments about your boyfriend.”

“Be kind of hard, considering I don’t have one,” Shay said with a laugh. Trina grinning knowingly but said nothing. Bubba looked confused.

“Trina…I thought you said she and…”

Trina smacked the back of his head. “Shut up.”

“What did she say?” Shay looked from Trina to Bubba, then back. “What did you say about me woman?”

“Well…looks good, gotta run…” Bubba slid off the chair he’d been sitting in, trying to get away before Shay decided to badger him for information.

“I haven’t said anything,” Trina said innocently. She grabbed a whisk broom and cleaned off the chair, then started to rearrange items on the counter.

“Ok. Who said what then?”

Trina fiddled with a comb. “Want me to give you a trim? You’re always complaining about your hair…”

“Don’t try to change the subject. Who said what damn it?”

Trina rolled her eyes and settled into the chair that Bubba had vacated. “It’s nothing to get worked up about. I just heard that you were seen going into Kane’s locker room last week, that’s all. Everybody has seen you flirt with him, so people were putting two and two together and coming up with five.” She shrugged. “I just mentioned to Bubs that you talked to Kane.”

“Rumor starter,” Shay slid off the counter, then leaned back against it with her arms crossed. “I was just…you know…making sure he was all right. I didn’t see what happened, but I heard.”

“Yeah. Trish, I’m sure.” Trina smiled. “Was he Ok?”

With a sigh, Shay told her what had happened. Trina was one of the few people in the fed she’d gotten to be close to. They had shared travel costs and motel rooms before Trina finally snagged Bubba.

“Ah…so he went into scary berserk mode.” Trina shook her head. “Everybody should have seen this coming. You know how the fed likes to fuck with people. You’d think, as long as he’s been here, Kane would have known the mask would have to go eventually. I wonder why he didn’t just quit, if it meant that much to him.”

“Because he’s not a quitter. Hell, I don’t know,” Shay pushed away from the counter. “I guess I’d better get to the med room. Show’s gonna start soon.” She promised to meet up after the show to get something to eat, then made her way back through the hallways.

Lost in thought, she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. Shay turned a corner and yelped in surprise when she walked into a very wide chest.

Kane was standing there, hands clenched at his sides. He was dressed in his wrestling gear, the black towel once again covering his head.

Shay looked up at him for several seconds, then sighed. “You shouldn’t be wandering out here. Bischoff put a bounty on you.”

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t even move. Shay wondered if she should check to see if he were even breathing. He was, of course. Even if he wasn’t speaking, she could still feel the anger coming off of him in waves. Maybe he was going to throw another temper tantrum. She almost smiled at that thought; Bischoff would just love to catch something like that on film.

Making a quick decision, she grabbed his wrist. “Come on.” She pulled and to her surprise he followed along without question or protest. She stopped to make sure no cameramen were hovering, then headed into a side hall that housed unused dressing rooms. She tried the first door, and swung it open. Flicking the light switch, she looked around then nodded. “Here…” she pulled him inside and then let go of his arm. “Don’t let those assholes shove a camera up your nose before you’re ready.”

Kane stood there for a moment, then nodded. Shay looked around the room again, taking in the clutter of boxes. “Better than nothing I suppose. I have to go to the med room. Just chill out…try to keep a grip will ya?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned and left him there.

She made it to the med room just as the show started. Shay sank into a chair and looked at the monitor, watching the opening shot of the crowd. She couldn’t figure out why she’d just helped Kane hide himself out. It wasn’t like he’d ever done anything for her. Hell…just a week ago he’d tried to throw a bench through a metal door because she’d set him off.

“You’re losing your mind, kiddo,” She muttered.

“If you say so.” A deep voice behind her made Shay jump. She turned to see Hunter standing behind her. “Gonna tape my leg up? Or should I wait for somebody who’s mentally stable?”

“You’d be waiting a hell of a long time,” She grumbled. Shay stood and motioned him toward the back of the room. “Come on, you’re the first of many.” She spared one last glance at the monitor, then turned away. As usual she’d miss most of the show while she took care of various injuries and medical requirements. It didn’t matter; she was sure that whatever happened she’d hear about it one way or another.

3.

“Why do you get stuck doing this every single week?”

Shay smiled and made a note on the clipboard she was carrying. “Because I don’t mind. And I want it done right the first time. Why don’t you and Bubs just go on without me.”

Trina shook her head. She was grateful that the makeup department didn’t have to go through the trouble of taking an inventory. “We can wait. It’s not a big deal.”

“No you won’t. I don’t know how late I’ll be. And besides, why would I wanna sit across from you and Bubbles and watch you play suck face while I try to eat? I have my rental. I can grab a burger or something. No big deal.”

“I just don’t like the idea of you being alone in here,” Trina grumbled. “Visions of things being thrown at you and whatnot.”

“What. Not.” Shay said the words with a pause between them. “Go do Bubba. Good fuckin’ grief, whatnot…” she turned back to her clipboard muttering under her breath. Trina grinned but turned to leave.

When she was gone, Shay sighed in relief. Trina and Bubs were cool to hang with, but truly the tonsil hockey did get a little old after a while. All Shay really wanted was to finish up and go to the hotel, where she could burrow into bed and sleep for about fourteen hours.

The show that night had been…well…Shay made a face. Good? Probably in Bischoff’s mind, it was. He’d managed to track Kane down finally, and had provoked him into going out on stage. Whatever little mind game he’d been playing had backfired. Kane ended up choke-slamming Eric off the stage and onto some tables. She had been in the med room when Bischoff had been helped in, smirking when the trainers agreed that a trip to the ER was in order. Sometimes life was good.

And here she was a half hour after the show ended. Most of the wrestlers and crew had cleared out already. Some were taking advantage of a rare three days off by going home. Shay would be staying in town until tomorrow night, then heading to her house in Florida. She planned on doing nothing but soaking in the sun. Most likely with her cell phone turned off.

She was almost finished, packing things as she checked off on the printed list of the inventory sheet. Maybe next week she would let one of the other trainers handle this. Much as she enjoyed the job, being the only one with sense enough to count to ten was wearing on her.

Her errant thoughts were interrupted by…what? A very distinct feeling of being stared at. Her shoulders tensed, then she looked over her shoulder.

Kane stood in the doorway, just watching her. He’d changed into street clothes, dark jeans and a black T-shirt. The towel was gone. He looked…different…with no hair. Of course, he looked different without the mask too, but the hair thing…it threw her for a few seconds. His eyes were strange too. One blue, the other hazel. Creepy but compelling. She actually found herself mourning the loss of his beard.

Shaking her head, she met his eyes. “Yes?” Hoping she didn’t sound nearly as shook up as she felt.

“You sicced him on me.”

His voice was low, deceptively soft. Shay raised an eyebrow. This was familiar.

“Um…right. You’ve lost me. Who?”

Kane rolled his right shoulder, stretching his neck. Shay watched the play of muscles under the thin cotton of his shirt, then snapped her eyes back to his. Where the hell had that come from?

“Bischoff.”

Shay frowned. “You think I sicced him on you?”

Kane shrugged. Shook his head. Nodded slowly. Shay found herself staring at his chest. Damn…could he have possibly worn a tighter shirt?

Trying to reign in her errant, erratic thoughts, she closed her eyes. “I didn’t say anything to anybody about where you were. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t go out of my way to make conversation with that asshole Bischoff.”

Shay opened her eyes and involuntarily jerked backward. He was pretty damn sneaky for such a huge guy. He’d moved silently across the room, so he was now standing barely a foot away. Kane stared down at her, waiting for…what? Shay wondered if he thought she would crumple at his feet in fear. Just the thought almost made her laugh. She’d seen his temper the week before…how much worse could he get?

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” She asked, flippant.

Kane stepped even closer. Bare inches separated them. She realized that she could smell him; the soap he’d used in the shower, some light cologne, and the underlying masculine scent that was just him. A shiver went down her spine.

Kane’s lips quirked. Shay caught it, and narrowed her eyes. So…he thought she was afraid of him. And he liked it. Bully for him. She wasn’t scared. Of course, she’d never actually shivered from a man’s proximity either, but that was neither here nor there.

“I’m not afraid of you, if that’s what you’re waiting for me to say.” She said it in a flat voice, totally devoid of emotion. Kane raised an eyebrow.

“You should be.” His eyes finally left hers and he looked over her, measuring her.

“Why? Cuz you can throw a bench?” Shay wished he’d stop with the once-over. His eyes seemed to rest on various parts of her body, making her face flush. “You don’t scare me. Hell…I have brothers who are more frightening than you are. And I actually lived with them for eighteen years.”

His eyes came up, searching hers. Shay wouldn’t let herself show this man any fear. She’d done that once already, the week before. That wasn’t her style. She wasn’t a wrestler, she wasn’t particularly tough, but she wasn’t going to let some overgrown man send her screaming. Again.

“I do not understand you.”

Shay almost laughed. That was an understatement.

“Look…what the hell kind of explanation are you looking for? A reason why I keep trying to reach out to you?”

Another shrug and nod. Shay wondered sarcastically if actually speaking was a problem for him. She caught herself once again watching the muscles of his chest and shoulders working under that damn T-shirt. Good grief, the man was built like a tank.

She eyed him. “Maybe I don’t know. Just because? You seemed Ok at the time? I’m a sucker trying to save the world? I think you have a nice ass?” His eyes widened at that one. Shay went on. “I don’t know why the hell I keep trying to make nice to you. I just want to. If you want me to stop, I will, all right, fine, no problem.”

Kane studied her. “You do not know me. What I am capable of.”

Shay rolled her eyes. “What are you capable of? Throwing the Bisch off the stage? Hate to tell ya but I’ve seen that kinda thing before. Several times. Originality is not looking like a strong point with you. Although I do applaud your choice of people to toss around.”

“This has nothing to do with what happened tonight. This is between you…and me.”

“You and me? Now I’m the one not understanding,” Shay said, puzzled. What had she ever done to him except try to be his friend?

“You will fear me.” His voice had taken on the flat, measured tones of someone who was stating a fact.

“I highly doubt that,” she broke eye contact with him and scribbled her signature at the bottom of the clipboard. End of discussion, and her way of dismissing him.

To her surprise, he backed away, not taking his eyes from her. Shay tossed the clipboard onto the makeshift desk and crossed her arms, watching him.

“You do not know what I am. But you’ll find out.” Kane turned and stalked out of the room. Shay found herself staring at his butt until he’d gone through the door and out of sight.

She let out a breath that she hadn’t been aware of holding. “Shit…that was…umm…yeah…” she muttered. Kane definitely made her nervous. Nervous but still…aware of him. “I knew…fucking knew…that nobody with a bod like that could be normal.” Still talking to herself, she grabbed her things and headed for the door. Hotel. Bed. Coma. Maybe whatever was going on would make sense in the morning.

4.

Shay stumbled into her house, sighing with relief as she dropped her bags in the living room. She couldn’t figure out how she could leave the house with one bag, and come back with three.

On top of the weight of her luggage, she’d almost missed her flight due to a mix up at the ticket counter. The short commuter flight she’d planned on taking had turned into a three hour roller coaster of rough turbulence. She had planned on being home by seven; it was now after ten.

Walking toward her bedroom, she spared a glance at the answering machine. The red message light blinked. Probably her mother, calling every five minutes to make sure she made it home in one piece. She’d deal with that tomorrow. Right now all she wanted was a shower. And some comfy clothes.

Shay stepped out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, a towel wrapped around her. She was using another one to dry her hair, then tossed it back toward the bathroom door.

“Not much of a housekeeper.”

Shay spun around, a shriek caught in her throat. She’d turned on one of the lamps by the bed; it barely illuminated the bedroom, but it gave off enough light to see the large man sitting in the rocking chair in the corner.

“What…the fuck…are you doing here?” She asked, hand on her chest. Her heart was slamming against her ribs. She tried to will it to slow down.

Kane rose to his feet, the chair creaking a bit as his weight left it. He looked almost…normal. As normal as he ever got, Shay supposed. Blue jeans, dark shirt, ball cap on his head, turned backward. Shay realized she was standing there, dripping water on the floor, wearing only a towel. She clutched at it, afraid it would fall off just to spite her.

“Are you…scared yet?” He asked, stepping toward her, voice menacing.

“Wh…oh…for crying out loud,” Shay sighed in disgust. “What is your deal? Breaking and entering just to try to scare the shit out of me? Are you insane?”

“It’s possible.” His eyes looked her over, taking in the unruly wet hair, the bare shoulders. All the way down to her feet then back up.

“Ok. You win. I’m fucking terrified. Goodbye.” Shay waved at the door. Kane actually smiled at that. Or what passed for a smile. It was hard to tell if he was really amused or just grimacing for the hell of it.

“Not…just…yet…” He closed the distance between them, forcing Shay to back up. Her shoulders bumped the wall. Kane loomed over her, looking down into her face. He reached up with one big hand and Shay flinched away from it. It didn’t seem to faze him. He traced his finger down her cheek.

Her skin actually started to tingle. Shay grit her teeth, wishing he’d back up and give her some room. He was too much male for her to handle right now. Especially considering this strange…attraction she felt toward him.

He trailed his hand down her jaw and neck, eyes locked with her. Daring her to tell him to stop? Shay narrowed her eyes. She didn’t know what kind of game he was playing, but she’d had enough.

“All right…that’s enough,” She pushed his hand away and tried to move around him. Kane blocked her with his arm against the wall. His hand came back up, grabbing the towel before Shay knew what he was doing. He tugged and pulled it away from her, exposing her completely.

Shay made a grab for it, but missed. Ok. This was definitely bad. Trapped naked in her house with some psycho.

“This stopped being funny, oh, I don’t know, when you broke into my house?” she said, using all the sarcasm she could muster.

“Who’s laughing?” Kane quietly pointed out. His eyes were giving her another once-over.

“Wh…” She had to clear her throat to stop her voice from squeaking. “What do you want?”

“Figure it out.” Kane’s eyes met hers again. Shay blinked. Blinked again. Opened her mouth, then closed it tight.

“No. No way,” She shook her head, crossing her arms over her bare breasts.

“Yes.” He leaned in closer, his lips brushing her ear. “You won’t fear me. But you will beg me to take you.”

She laughed derisively. Or tried to. What came out with a choked sounding cough. The feel of his breath puffing across her damp skin made her legs tremble.

He reached up and took his cap off, tossing it carelessly to the floor. Shay should have taken the distraction, slipped under his arm, ran for cover. She did nothing except cower against the wall.

“Are you like everyone else? Do you think I don’t see what’s going on right in front of my face?” He was once again leaning into her, whispering, his voice a hoarse rasp.

“What are you talking about?” Shay closed her eyes, fighting against the urge to just lean into him, to let him do whatever the hell he wanted with her body.

“You. Going out of your way to be my…friend.” He pushed her hair back from her ear, letting his fingers trail over her ear. “I didn’t see you doing that with anyone else.”

“Maybe I felt sorry for you,” She said softly. If he kept talking to her in that low voice she was going to turn into a puddle of mush as his feet. Shay was having trouble drawing in a breath.

“Mmm…” just a low rumble. Shay jumped as his hand went between her legs, seeking. She tried to clamp her thighs together but was too slow, his fingers were already touching her folds, feeling. “Doesn’t seem like you’re too sorry for me now.”

Embarrassed beyond a response, Shay waited. He didn’t move, just left his hand there, feeling how wet she’d become during this little…event.

He resumed his whispery, scratchy, altogether too sexy voice in her ear. “You are afraid now, aren’t you? Afraid that I will take you. Maybe afraid that I won’t.” Shay gasped as he moved his hand, letting his fingers press into her skin. He chuckled, sending a shiver down her back. “I could take care of this for you…” Another caress, sending a bolt of heat flaring through her stomach. “All you have to do…” Kane stopped, waiting.

“Is beg?” Shay managed to grit out between her teeth.

“Exactly.” He pressed his hand against her again, slipping one finger into the folds. Shay whimpered as he brushed her clit. Her knees were going to buckle. She did want him, damn it all. If he kept up, she’d get down on her hands and knees if that was what he required.

She forced herself to take a deep breath, and regretted it. He smelled too good. That damn male scent he had. Her felt lightheaded for a moment, and realized she was holding her breath.

“No.” She surprised herself by sounding semi-normal. Breathless, but normal.

Kane stopped moving his hand, then withdrew it. Shay’s hips swayed, trying to keep him in contact. He moved back a step, eyes locking with hers. “Suit yourself.” Shay watched, eyes wide, as he brought his hand to his mouth and licked a finger, tasting her.

It was a damn good thing the wall was holding her up. She would have fallen over backward otherwise. Kane stooped down and picked up his cap, then left the room without a backward glance.

Shay heard the front door close, then let herself slide down the wall, sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chin.

“Holy…fucking…shit…” She tried to make her overheated body cool itself. That had to have been the most erotic and scary thing she’d ever experienced in her whole life. All of this, following her to her house, breaking in, to what? Clit tease her til she was insane?

“Beg…right…” Now that he was gone, she could ignore the fact that she’d come close to doing just that. Ok. So she wanted him. Who the hell wouldn’t? He was a big muscular guy, those shoulders…the chest…

She made herself stop, realizing she wasn’t helping anything by dwelling on carnal thoughts. But she felt like a red-hot wire had been lit up in her abdomen, and her legs were still shaking. And all that from one little stroke of his finger. She couldn’t even begin to think what actual penetration would do to her. Probably make her head explode. And he’d stopped, just like that. She was perplexed. He had cast her into some kind of weird mind game.

After fifteen minutes, she used the wall to regain her feet. Satisfied her legs were going to hold up, she headed back to the bathroom. Another shower. This time a cold one. And maybe some personal attention to release some of the tension that Kane had caused.

5.

The crew was getting ready for another RAW on Monday afternoon, rushing so they could take a break before the show started. Shay had found a perch in one of the hallways, sitting on top of a stack of black trunks. She had already finished getting the med room ready and wanted to people watch for a while.

“Hey woman,” Shay smiled when Bubba stopped to talk, dragging Tommy Dreamer along with him.

“Hey yourself. Where’s your shadow?”

“Trina’s in the makeup room, fussing over Trish,” Bubba laughed. “We’re going to grab some food. Wanna come with us?”

“Nope. I’m fine. I’m relaxing.”

“You look like you’re on the lookout sitting up there,” Dreamer said with a grin.

“Maybe I was lookin’ for you,” Shay said smiling back. Dreamer was a decent guy, fun to hang out with. Bubba had sort of adopted him when he’d joined Raw.

“A guy can dream,” He said with a wink. Laughing, he waved and headed down the hallway.

Shay shook her head. “He’s cute, Bubbles.”

Bubba laughed at the nickname. “And married.” He shook his finger at her. “Find somebody single to flirt with.”

Shay sighed. “I’ll think about it. But the taken ones are so much more fun.” She smiled down at him. “You’d better go catch up before he eats all the food.”

Laughing Bubba wandered down the hall. Shay’s smile faded. She didn’t feel like smiling, but she was at least trying to pretend she felt normal. What she really wanted to do was get the hell out of here, go away for a week or two, get her head straight.

She’d spent her days off busying herself at her mother’s house. If her mom thought it was strange that Shay was spending so much time there, she was nice enough not to mention it. Unfortunately she had to go back to work. Ok. She’d just hide in the med room, avoid seeing…well…and that would be that. And of course he hadn’t shown up all weekend. She surprised herself by feeling disappointed as well as relieved.

And now it was Monday again. The only good thing about today was that Bischoff would not be in the arena. He was taking a vacation, courtesy of Kane’s chokeslam.

Even though the master troublemaker was gone, it was still an eventful night. Not far into the television taping, the trainers were summoned out of the med room. Someone had attacked Tommy Dreamer. When Shay got there, Bubba was freaking out and Dreamer was unconscious on the floor. She took one look at the blood and got security to call in the EMT.

Another wrestler, Rico, was the next to go down. Oddly enough, he had been thrown onto the same black trunks where Shay had been sitting earlier. Another one for the EMT to deal with.

Between all the calls, Shay managed to catch bits and pieces of the show. Steve Austin had come back; it seemed that Kane had decided to torment him for a while. That, Shay thought, was the best news she’d gotten all night. As long as he was bothering Steve, Kane wouldn’t be near her.

It was comforting until it was made obvious that Kane was the one who’d laid Dreamer and Rico out. He had Steve had a confrontation near the end of the show, beating the hell out of each other. The fans ate it up.

Shay was left sitting in the med room alone after the show ended. She didn’t want to read anything into what had gone on, but…putting two and two together, it was kind of obvious. Hadn’t she joked with Dreamer earlier? And finding Rico laying where she’d been sitting just hours before…

She shook herself out of her thoughts, noticing for the first time how quiet the hallways had become. She glanced at her watch and jumped a little. It was well after midnight. She’d been sitting there, lost in thought, for over an hour.

Hurrying, she gathered her things. She had meant to be out of there before the show had ended…and here she was, once again the last one to leave. She checked to make sure she had everything, then headed toward the exit.

She almost made it to her car. Just as she reached for the door handle, a hand shot out and grabbed her arm. Shay jerked back and spun around, jerking her arm free.

“Damn, woman!” Trina blinked at her, obviously shocked at Shay’s reaction.

Shay almost collapsed against her car in relief. “You bitch. You scared the shit out of me.”

Trina started laughing. “No kidding. I yelled at you when you came outside, buy you just kept going.”

“I didn’t hear you,” Shay pressed her hand to her chest, then smiled. “Sorry.”

“What’s up with you? You’ve been acting jumpy all weekend.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Bullshit you haven’t.”

“I’ve just been…stressed,” Shay hedged. She had decided not to tell anybody about what had happened at her house with Kane. It was too embarrassing.

“No, really?” Trina’s voice all but dripped with sarcasm. “I was going to see if I could get a lift to the hotel with you, but I don’t know if I really trust you driving when you have that whole deer in the headlights look about you.”

“What happened to Bubba?” Shay was grateful to turn the topic around to Trina.

“Went to pick up Tommy from the ER. Your boyfriend did a number on him tonight,” Trina smiled.

So much for a topic change. “He is NOT my boyfriend. Could you please stop saying that?”

Trina shrugged. “Whatever you say, boss lady.” She smirked. Shay decided that she didn’t like that knowing look from her friend.

“What’s that look for?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Trina said innocently, rounding the car to the passenger side. “My expression is just that of a person who is being well screwed by a hot guy.”

“No, when you’re getting it from Bubs you walk around with a smarmy grin. That was more of a…a…’I know something you don’t know’ kind of thing.”

“You have a very active imagination,” Trina observed, getting into the car. Shay had no choice but to climb in behind the wheel. She sat there for several minutes, waiting for Trina to spill whatever had her so smug. “Key in ignition, car in drive, gas pedal, go?” Trina asked sweetly.

“You aggravate me. Honestly.” Shay finally started the car, heading for the hotel where they would be spending the night.

6

Shay took a deep breath then searched her pockets again. Then her bag. Then her pockets yet again. “Fuck…” she muttered under her breath. She couldn’t find her damn keycard.

She remembered going into her room when she’d checked in, putting her larger travel bag on the bed, tossing the keycard…

“Shit…” She muttered again. She’d thrown it on the bed, into the bag. Did she pick it up on the way out? She couldn’t remember. Still cursing, she smacked her palm on the door then turned, heading for the elevator.

After being read the riot act by what seemed to be a sleepy fourteen year old clerk, he finally broke down and made up another card. Mission accomplished, she once again rode the elevator to her floor, and used the keycard to open the door to her room.

Shay didn’t bother turning on the TV, or getting a book out to read. She was so tired she knew that her usual diversions wouldn’t be necessary. She hadn’t slept much since Kane’s little visit to her house, and her mind and body were feeling every second of lost rest.

She grabbed her usual sleeping outfit; a pair of pale blue drawstring shorts and a white tank top, and headed for the bathroom. Teeth brushed, long hair combed and braided to keep it from getting too tangled in the night, pajamas on, she went back into the main room and shoved her bag off the bed, then climbed in.

She was asleep as soon as she snuggled into a comfortable position. And had the same dream she’d been having for several nights. Kane, in her bedroom, not stopping and walking away, but finishing what he’d started. In her dream he had totally dominated her, not taking no for an answer. And she was terrified and turned on all at once, not knowing which emotion held out first place.

Her eyes fluttered open just as the dream began to replay itself. She muttered and shifted a bit, trying to move closer to the heat that pressed against her back.

Still mostly asleep, she frowned and shifted again, feeling something heavy pressed around her stomach. She forced her eyes open again, then gasped realizing that someone was in the bed with her.

Shay tried to shove the arm holding her away, but it just gripped her tighter. She froze when a low chuckle sounded next to her ear.

“Let go of me…” she managed to hiss out.

“Mmm…I don’t think so.” Kane’s voice was scratchy from sleep. Shay tried to keep from quivering at the sound of it. “I’m comfortable. Aren’t you?”

“No!” She shoved at his arm again. Good grief, it was like a damn steel bar. Ok, that didn’t work. She tried just sitting up, but he anticipated it, sliding his arm up a bit to hold her down.

“Relax…” His voice whispered next to her ear. “Nothing is going to happen that you don’t…ask…for.”

“Wh…you son of a…”

Kane pulled her closer to his big body. “Hmm…I think I like you better when you’re sleeping. Those sounds you were making…”

“I wasn’t making any sounds,” Shay huffed out. She had to give up trying to get loose. He was too strong. But she didn’t relax. She held herself rigid, trying to ignore his arm across her midsection, his wide chest pressed to her back. Kane seemed to read her mind; he chuckled again and moved his arm down a bit, pressing her back into his groin. He was obviously aroused; through her shorts it felt like a very large iron rod was against her ass.

“You were…” damn that sexy/scratchy voice thing he had going on. Shay didn’t know whether she wanted to scratch his eyes out or just roll over and fuck him. Maybe both. “Soft little moans.” His tongue flicked out, touching her earlobe. Shay couldn’t help it, she shuddered and a moan escaped her. “Mmm…just like that,” his hips pressed against her again, and she whimpered.

Kane loosened his hold on her, letting his hand slip under her shirt. His fingertips barely brushed the bottoms of her breasts, her ribs. Shay involuntarily arched back, pressing her ass more fully against his erection, straining to feel his fingers on her.

Kane flicked his tongue out again, this time hitting the sensitive spot just below her earlobe. “I’ve done nothing but think about how you taste since the other day,” he whispered, voice hoarse. Shay sucked in a breath, recalling the image of him licking his finger after…after what had happened at her house. “I want to taste you again. A little more…directly…”

“God…” Shay managed to choke out. His hand had stopped moving, his palm was resting lightly against her upper stomach. He held himself very still. He was driving her absolutely crazy and he knew it.

Kane used his tongue to trace the line of her neck, stopping at the juncture where her neck met her shoulder. His lips pressed against her skin, then he gently nibbled, sending a shockwave through her. He lifted his head again, lips grazing her ear as he spoke. “I want to bury myself inside you…I think you’ll feel just as good as you taste Shay…”

Shay whimpered again when he said her name. Her nipples had hardened into peaks so tight they were almost painful. Even the rub of her cotton tank top against them was too much. “Kane…” She managed to get his name out.

Kane rubbed his cheek against her hair, breathing her in. “I could make it so good for you. For both of us.”

And that was what she wanted, damn it. She wanted him, wanted him to take her in every possible way. He made her feel so small, so fucking tiny compared to his size. She should fear him now; he could crush her if he wanted to. It didn’t matter. She’d probably let him if he kept up the dirty/sexy/raspy voice talk thing he was doing.

“You know what I want in return, don’t you?” Kane asked softly. It took Shay a few seconds before what he said reached her through the erotic fog she was in.

“I can’t…beg you…” She choked out. She suddenly felt like crying. Why the fucking games? Why couldn’t he just fuck her and put her out of her misery without trying to demean her in the process?

“Can’t…or won’t?” He pressed his lips to her hair, kissing her. Then his arm was lifting from her as he slid back out of the bed. Shay closed her eyes, fighting back tears of frustration. “Come see me when you change your mind.” She refused to acknowledge him. She waited until she heard the door click shut, then sat up. She turned on the bedside light and blinked to adjust her eyes.

Stumbling, she went to the door and leaned her forehead against it. How the hell did he manage to get to her every damn time? After all the resolves she’d made to make him leave her alone…

She turned the security lock on the door. Then slid home the dead bolt. Then, not thinking about what she was doing, shoved the room’s overstuffed chair in front of the door.

Shay went back to the bed and got under the blanket, not bothering to turn off the light. She could still smell him…that asshole. She punched the pillow he’d been laying on then pulled it against her, inhaling. It took a long time before she could finally go back to sleep; when she did she still had the pillow hugged tight in her arms.

7

Six in the morning, and Shay was up, showered, and heading downstairs with her bags. She’d slept a little, although it wasn’t nearly enough. She knew today would not be a good day to hang out with anybody. She’d probably rip their heads off. She didn’t know if that was because she was sleep deprived, or if the sexual frustration was making her crazy.

At the desk, she turned over her keycard then frowned. “I guess I have to pay for the other card I had. I forgot to look for it.”

An older woman had replaced the teenager from the night before as the clerk. She swiped the keycard, and typed a few things into her computer. Shay was pulling her wallet out but the clerk waved her off. “Not necessary. Someone turned it in earlier this morning.” She offered Shay a smile. “Nice of them. They just saved you ten dollars.”

“Who?” Shay asked, already knowing. How the hell else would Kane have gotten into her room? And when had he had the opportunity to swipe her card?

“I’m sorry, but I have no idea. It says here it was handed in about an hour ago. I’ve only been on duty for fifteen minutes.” She smiled again. Thanking her, Shay turned and headed for the door, and her rental car. She had two options. She could drive the three hours to their next venue and hole up in the hotel for the next twenty-four hours, or she could make a detour and visit with the SmackDown people. They were taping their own show that night and it was on her way.

She sat in her car, tapping her fingers on the wheel. Usually on her day off, she stayed as far away from the arenas as possible. This was her week to work at the house shows so tonight would be her only night off.

Shay pretty much drove on auto-pilot, lost in thought. It would be nice to hang out with the other roster for a change; some of the guys she hadn’t seen since the split. Without taking her eyes off the road, she dug into her tote bag and pulled her cell phone free of the clutter.

She actually smiled at the sleepy voice that answered. “Good morning,” she said with a grin. There was a groan.

“Shay? What the hell are you doing calling at…” There was a long pause. “What time is it?”

“A little after seven.” She said, laughing. She felt better already. Kurt had a way of doing that.

Weird as it was, even though he could be a total jerk when he put his mind to it, Shay and Kurt had always gotten along well. He, at least, could make her laugh when nobody else could.

“Did somebody die or something? They’re had better be a good reason for dragging me out of bed this early…”

“No,” Shay interrupted him, sighing. “I just wanted to visit before the show tonight.”

Kurt hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Shay…are you all right? You sound kinda…off.”

As if she were really going to tell him what was going on. “I’m Ok. Just having some…personal problems. I need a break from Raw for a day.”

“Can’t blame ya there,” Kurt said, still sounding concerned. “Look…how soon can you get here?”

“An hour?” She glanced at the speedometer. “Around eight-thirty at the latest.”

“Good. I’ll tell the front desk.” He rattled off his room number. “I have to be at the arena early to sign autographs, but we can hang out all day. I can show you my newest baby pictures.”

“More? You and your woman are making the Kodak people rich,” Shay said with a laugh.

“Hey, what can I say? We believe in capturing the moment,” He quipped. “Drive careful. I’m going to find some coffee to stimulate my brain a little.” Shay said goodbye and hung up, still smiling.

A little over an hour later she was collecting yet another keycard. She knocked on Kurt’s door before going in. “I hope you’re decent.” She called before stepping inside.

“Just barely,” came his reply. He’d booked a room with a small table and two chairs. The table was covered with breakfast foods. He was in the process of eating himself into oblivion.

“Oh…my…God…” She giggled. “How can you eat all that? I can feel my arteries clogging up in sympathy.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know.” He looked perplexed when Shay laughed. He was such a nerd sometimes. “Pull up a seat and dig in. I can share.”

Shay took the seat opposite him and chose a banana-nut muffin. She didn’t eat it, just picked at it. Kurt kept looking up at her from his plate, eyes questioning.

“So…how’s Karen?” Shay finally asked to break the silence. “And the baby?”

His eyes practically lit up. Between bites of food he caught her up on everything that had been going on since they had last talked. Shay got to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over the baby album that Kurt was never without. She had a good laugh over the stuffed lamb that was on the bed. A present for him from Karen and the baby, something to remind him of home when he was on the road. It was actually kind of sweet.

When he finally finished eating, Kurt asked if she wanted to take a walk. They wandered around aimlessly, drawing strange looks from the few people out this early who passed them. Kurt had put on a hat, and a baggy tracksuit, but he was still recognizably Kurt.

They ended up in a nearby park, walking circles around a small duck pond. Kurt set an easy pace, which Shay appreciated. He’d probably be jogging his breakfast off right now if she hadn’t shown up.

“So…” Kurt gave her a sideways glance. “You gonna tell me what’s bothering you? Don’t give me the ‘it’s nothing’ crap. You might as well have ‘agitated’ stamped on your forehead.”

She shook her head, then surprised herself by speaking. She honestly hadn’t meant to say anything. “I’m kinda being pursued by one of the guys and he’s driving me nuts and I don’t know what to do about it.” It came out in a rush, on one breath. Kurt gave her a crooked smile.

“That doesn’t sound like my Shay. Why don’t you just verbally rip him a new asshole and send him screaming like you normally do?”

Shay rolled her eyes. “It’s…complicated.” She sighed. “I don’t know.”

“I’ve never seen you let a mere guy get to you like this,” Kurt said. He was looking at her as if he’d never seen her before.

“Me either.” Shay stopped walking and looked at the pond, arms crossed. Kurt could tell that she was still holding back, but didn’t push her on it. Shay would just clam up if he pried too much.

“Look…how long have we known each other? Five years?” At Shay’s nod, he went on. “Since you’ve been working here, right?”

“Yeah.” Shay nodded again.

“Well…if the guy is bothering you that much…” he trailed off, wondering if this was what she wanted to hear.

Shay looked at him expectantly. Kurt sighed. “I’m just trying to say…you’ve made friends here, and we’re like a family. If somebody is bothering you, you can always get it taken care of.”

“Taken…care…of?” She repeated him slowly. Then shook her head. “Somehow I don’t think beating the living hell out of him would make him go away. It might just make him worse.”

Kurt shrugged. “Well…the offer’s out there anyway. And Shay?”

“Hmm?” She had resumed looking at the pond but cut her eyes back toward him when he spoke her name.

“If that doesn’t work, you could always just fuck him out of your system,” Kurt grinned, then turned and jogged off.

Shay looked after him, mouth open. She was always shocked when Kurt used what he often referred to as the really, really bad word. Then it actually hit her what he had said.

“You’re real funny asshole!” She called after him. Kurt waved over his shoulder, not turning, but she could hear him laughing.

She walked after him, shaking her head. She had hoped for someone to talk some sense into her, and here Kurt was just feeding her more ideas about getting laid. Was that all it was then? If she gave in, did what Kane wanted, if she slept with him, would he finally leave her alone? Just go away, fade into the background, find somebody else to torment?

Ignoring how that particular thought made her feel, she changed direction, heading back toward the hotel. She needed to get her stuff and hit the road. She had a lot of thinking to do.

8

Shay managed to corner Trina in the makeup room the next night before the show started.

“You gave him my keycard didn’t you?”

“Huh?” Trina looked baffled. She hadn’t even noticed Shay in the room until she’d spoken.

“Oh…that smarmy look you gave me the other night. You swiped my room key and gave it to that asshole. Why?”

Trina sighed and sat down in one of the chairs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Bullshit. Why would you give that jerk my key?” Shay tried not to raise her voice. Trina would not meet her eyes.

“I promise you that I did not give anybody anything of yours,” Trina finally said. “But…”

“But? But what?” Shay put her hands on her hips, waiting.

“I kinda thought you gave it to him. Or gave him permission. That trainer, Don, was telling Bubba that Kane went into the med room and said you told him to stop in and grab your keycard.” Trina glanced at her. “Ok…so I believed it. You two have kinda been going ‘round the last couple of weeks.”

Shay said nothing. She was too mad.

“What was Don supposed to say to him? No?” Trina smiled but it faded when Shay didn’t return it. “Don’s like a buck fifty soaking wet. He didn’t want Kane to kill him. Although from what he said, he made Kane out to be some kind of charmer.”

Shay snorted. “Right. He sure is.” She dropped her arms, balling her hands into fists. She wanted to punch a wall or something. Kane was fucking sneaky. She already knew that. And Trina and Bubba, Don, and whoever else they decided to let in on it thought that something was going on between Kane and Shay. Great.

“Look Shay, I know it’s none of my business…” Trina tried to talk but Shay cut her off.

“You’re right. It’s not.” With that she turned and stormed out of the room. She grabbed the first tech who happened to cross her path.

“Kane’s locker room…where is it?” She said through gritted teeth. The guy pointed her in the right direction, his eyes huge. Before he could ask what was going on, she was already moving down the hallway.

His room was at the end of the hall, just around the corner. Shay didn’t bother knocking, she slammed into the room, looking around.

He wasn’t there. His bag was sitting open on the floor, his wrestling gear in a pile on the bench. Shay grabbed his bag, rifling through it until her fingers brushed against what she was looking for.

She turned his keycard over in her hands, looking at it. Could she seriously hope to turn this little game around on him? Shay felt like she was in over her head, way out of her league. She hated mind games, always had. But Kane seemed intent on torturing her forever.

Without another thought, she stuffed the card into her back pocket, then let the bag drop back to the floor. Making sure nobody was looking she slipped back out into the hallway and headed for the road manager’s office. The mood she was in, anybody coming to the med room would likely be killed instead of healed.

Michael, the RM, took one look at her flushed face and angry eyes and gave her the night off. He had been in the business long enough to know when someone was at the end of their rope, and this girl was hanging by a thread. Shay promised to work out her problems before the next show she was scheduled to attend and he’d nodded, hoping so.

Shay headed for the hotel, went to the elevator, and made her way up to her room. She would wait a while, let the guys finish the show and get settled in, then she’d act.

She hoped her anger held out until then. Underneath the barely controlled rage she was scared. Terrified. She didn’t like feeling like this. Nobody had ever made her feel like this.

A little past eleven, she finally got up and took a shower. She put her long hair up in a twist, then grabbed her bag and rummaged through it. Foregoing any type of underwear, she slipped into the longest T-shirt she had, a much too big for her white cotton that she’d cadged off one of the wrestlers a while back. It had been washed so many times that if she looked close enough she could make out the dark shape of her nipples through the material. The shirt ended mid thigh. Perfect.

She grabbed Kane’s keycard and her own, then went to the door. The hallway was empty. This close to midnight most of the guys who were staying at this hotel were either asleep or downstairs enjoying the bar. Good. No errant stares for her choice of outfit.

Kane’s room was one floor up from hers. She took the stairs, grimacing at the rough carpeting under her bare feet. No one was wandering this hallway either. Luck had been with her so far.

She stopped in front of the door to his room, wondering if this was going to work. Would he have just done the same thing she did? Stupidly asking for a new keycard without changing the code on the door first? Or had he just changed rooms altogether? Too late to wonder about it now. Another thought struck her. What if he knew she had swiped his card, knew that she was going to come to his room? What if he was just…waiting for her right now?

Shaking her head, Shay finally pushed the card into the lock, smiling when the light turned green. Nothing ventured… She opened the door and slipped inside, letting it shut softly behind her.

She gave her eyes a full minute to adjust to the dark room. The curtains at the window were open, letting in a bit of light. Shay moved forward, eyes on the figure on the bed.

Kane was stretched out, one arm thrown over his head. His other hand was resting on his stomach. He’d covered himself with a sheet but had kicked it low. She stared hard at him, watching him for a few minutes. He didn’t bother to wear anything to bed. She had a complete full frontal view of him.

Ok…coming here was maybe not the best idea she’d ever had. Already she could feel her body responding, and he hadn’t even moved. She edge toward the bed, slowly sinking down onto the mattress.

Kane muttered, shifted, but didn’t wake up. Shay leaned closer to his face, reaching her hand out. She touched his chest and shivered a little, feeling how warm he was. Her hand moved slowly, carefully. He actually looked…well…normal when he was sleeping. Not menacing. Completely edible.

Shay frowned, but didn’t stop rubbing his chest. Maybe the only mind game she was playing was with herself. Why couldn’t she just come right out and admit to this man that she wanted him? What the hell kept holding her back? Well…besides the whole begging thing. He could dominate her and he knew it, he just wanted her to admit that he held that power over her.

Would it be so bad then? Shay could just say ‘fuck pride’ and let him do whatever he wanted. She had no doubt that it would be good. And that was probably an understatement.

Her hand had wandered lower without her realizing it. She was stroking the skin of his lower stomach, feeling him take in a deep breath. Shay looked at his face, watching as he frowned in his sleep. If he woke up and found her here…

Her whole body tingled at the idea. Biting her lip, she ventured lower with her exploring hand. Her fingertips brushed against his cock. Apparently something of what she was doing had slipped through; he was already semi-hard. She used one finger to trace the length of him, down then back up. His skin was incredibly soft, silky. She found herself wondering what he would taste like, what it would feel like to have him in her mouth.

Closing her eyes, she eased her fingers around him. He was definitely coming to life. She could feel him swelling in her hand. She began to stroke him loosely in her fist, moving slow, opening her eyes to watch her hand against his cock. She didn’t apply any pressure, just letting her palm graze against his skin.

For a few minutes the only thing she was aware of was the feel of him, his heat in her hand, the silken glide of skin on skin. This was a definite first…she’d never gotten turned on just by giving a handjob. She released him, running her fingers down him again. She wanted to lean over and run her tongue down the path that her fingers were tracing.

Her hand stopped moving. She rested her palm lightly against him, feeling his cock twitch under her hand. She didn’t know how she could tell, but Kane was no longer asleep.

She slowly let her eyes travel up his body, stopping to look into his face. Into his eyes, that were open and watching her. She started to pull back, wanted to put a little distance between them, but he had other ideas.

Shay was grabbed roughly and rolled. Kane pinned her against the bed under him, his chest covering hers, his cock pressing into her hip. He had her hands in his and raised them, pinning them above her head.

Kane’s fierce eyes locked onto hers. “Do you want me?” he growled out. Shay hesitated, then nodded. She felt him press his hips down onto her again and whimpered. “Say it. Tell me what you want.”

“I…” She licked her lips, then looked away from him. “I want…”

“Look at me when you tell me,” He ordered. Shay blinked then met his eyes again. She was glad it was dark in the room. She felt as if she were on fire from the flush that had risen on her face.

“I…want you…” she finally managed to whisper. Kane shifted a little, easing his grip on her hands.

“Do you want me to take you?” his head dipped low, so his mouth was barely an inch from hers.

Shay took in a shaky breath. “Yes.” She still held his eyes. No point in denying it anymore. He was going to win. He’d pushed all of her buttons, buttons she hadn’t even known existed. Could she have actually told him no again? She didn’t think so. But still… “I can’t…I won’t…beg you to do it.” He said nothing, didn’t move, didn’t even seem to breath. “But I want you to. I need you to…”

“You would give yourself over to me?” He asked her finally.

“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate this time. She’d gone too far for that.

“You would be mine…” he muttered, voice hoarse. “You would come to me and submit if I asked you to?”

“God…yes…yes…” he was doing that sexy voice thing. He shifted again, and she could feel his heartbeat against her, slow and steady.

“Tell me again what you want, Shay.”

She looked up at him. “You.”

9

Kane held himself very still over her, still looking down into her eyes. “And what do you want me to do to you?” He asked softly.

“I want you to take me…”

“Mmm…” Kane leaned his head down and nuzzled his cheek against hers. “Do you want me to fuck you Shay?” He whispered. His breath puffed across her ear, making her shiver. Her hips gave an involuntary upward thrust as he spoke. He moved her wrists together and held them in one big hand. “Do you want me to be inside you?”

“Oh…yes…” She managed to moan out. The man hadn’t even done anything and she was more excited than she’d ever been before.

Kane pulled back, making Shay whimper in distress at the loss of his heavy body on top of hers. She tried to reach for him but he still had her wrists pinned to the pillow above her head. With his free hand he grabbed the front of the shirt she had on and yanked. It gave way easily in his grasp, ripping across the collar and around the arms. He kept pulling until it was nothing but white strips of cloth in his hand. Kane tossed the ruined garment aside.

He raked his eyes down her body. Then he looked at her hands, still imprisoned by his.

“I want you to hold onto the headboard Shay,” He said, letting go of her. Confused, she reached higher, her fingers hitting the wooden slats. She wrapped her hands around two of them, squeezing her fists tight as Kane stared into her eyes again. “I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to give you what you want…” He smiled, just a slight lift of his lips. “But if your hands come away from the headboard I’ll stop.”

Shay frowned, opened her mouth to ask why, but was cut off when he shoved her legs apart and moved in between them.

Kane was resting back, watching her. Shay tightened her grip even more. “I could tie you up if you think you won’t be able to hold that position…” he said, voice hoarse.

“N…no. I can hold on,” Shay managed to whisper back. She wished he’d quit stalling already before she just jumped on him. She kept looking from his face, down his chest and stomach to his hard cock then back up, wondering what the point of this little game was.

“Good.” Kane moved over her, his hips between her thighs. “Wrap those legs around me Shay.”

She complied, crossing her ankles at the small of his back. Now she could feel is cock pressing directly against her folds. She squeezed her legs, applying more pressure as she raised her hips. Kane moved his hips a bit, then smiled down at her. This wasn’t his half-smirk, the one that said he might have a little good humor in him. This was a full blown, ‘I could eat you alive’ smile.

His cock was sliding easily against her now; she was so wet that he was well lubed from the contact. He pulled his hips back, prodding her with the tip of his cock. “I am going to taste you Shay,” Kane said. He was holding his position, the head of his cock slipping a little against her. Shay moaned in response. “There’s no turning back. Unless of course…” He nodded toward her hands. Shay made a low noise in her throat and renewed her grip on the headboard.

Kane ducked his head down, once again close to her ear. Shay closed her eyes in anticipation of his voice, his tone. She would probably orgasm from that alone if he didn’t get on with it. “There isn’t going to be any touching Shay. No hands. Just my body going into your body. Hard and fast. Fucking…it’s good that you’re so wet for me. I wouldn’t want this to hurt.”

Shay’s eyes opened at his words and she cried out as he finally slammed his hips forward, burying his cock to the hilt inside her. He didn’t give her time to recover from the entry, he pulled back and violently entered her again, banging the bed against the wall from the force of his thrusts.

It was all Shay could do to hold on to the headboard as he brutally thrust in and out of her body. There was no finesse, no lingering…he was claiming her, grunting with each hard jerk of his hips.

Shay cried out again, her legs tightening around his waist. Whether she was trying to slow him down or speed him up she had no idea.

“Was…this…what…you…wanted…?” Each word was punctuated by another thrust. Shay was beyond words. All she could manage was a moan of acceptance as he continued his onslaught, pounding into her. Kane laughed, startling in the midst of his own sounds of passion. “Answer me…” he began moving even faster, his strokes shorter and harder.

“Yes…oh….” Shay at least got that much out. She could feel heat gathering inside her, feel the sharp hot coil of tension that signaled the beginning of what could very well be the biggest climax of her life.

Kane redoubled his efforts, feeling her walls contracting around him. “Come for me Shay. Mmm…feel me fucking you and come for me…”

The sensation seemed to take over her body, making her arch her back under his, her legs so tight around him that now he could not move. Digging her fingers into the wooden headboard, Shay screamed out as her climax overtook her, scary in its intensity.

Kane had stopped moving to watch her, to feel her. He held his push-up position until the final shockwaves passed through Shay’s body, leaving her completely drained and numb. She panted, trying to catch her breath, her fingers still clutching the headboard.

Kane reached to his waist, pulling at her leg. Shay released her grip on him, laying her legs flat on the bed on either side of his.

She whimpered as he pulled away, pulled out of her body, both from the loss of having him inside and from her still ultra-sensitive clit. Kane stretched out on the bed next to her, on his side facing her. Shay turned her head to look at him, not sure what to say about what had happened.

“You can release the headboard now,” Kane said, his voice sounding amused.

It took a moment for Shay to realize that she still had the bed in a death grip. She let go and pulled her arms down, wincing at the soreness in her shoulders.

“You are embarrassed.” Kane said after a few minutes had passed with no words.

“I…yes. No.” Shay sighed and blinked rapidly. “Yes. I’ve never…done it like that before.”

“It is what you wanted,” Kane reminded her softly. Shay couldn’t argue that. Hadn’t she asked for it?

“But…you didn’t…didn’t finish,” She mumbled.

“No.”

“Um…did you not…wasn’t I…” she didn’t know how to finish her thought.

“Oh…you were,” his voice was a low rumble. “Better than I imagined. But I was giving you what you wanted Shay.”

“Oh.” She frowned in confusion. “And…you want something different?”

“I want everything, Shay. All of you. In every way imaginable.”

10

Shay looked at Kane, a little prickle of heat settling into her stomach at the words. And she’d thought she was wiped out.

Kane moved closer to her, bringing his hand up to rest on her abdomen. “I want to make love to you Shay. I want to know your body with my hands…my mouth…” Uh oh. He’d gone back into sexy raspy voice mode. She felt herself responding in spite of the soreness that was settling into her.

He moved his head in closer. “Would you like that? Do you want me to do that to you Shay?”

She met his eyes. He’d gone from dominating man to seducer in the space of seconds. How could she possibly say no to him?

“Yes.” That was simple enough. Her voice broke on the word. “I want…I want to have you. I want you to have me.”

“Do you want to touch me?” His lips brushed her jaw. Shay closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him.

“Yes.”

“With your hands?” He asked, tracing the corner of her mouth with his tongue. Shay made an inarticulate sound, her lips parting in anticipation.

“Yes. And…my mouth. My tongue…” She managed to get the words out. “I want to drive you crazy wanting me,” She admitted softly.

Kane propped himself up on an elbow so he could look down at her. “You already drive me crazy.” He leaned in to her again. “Lovemaking Shay. Slow and gentle, hands everywhere, touching, tasting…” he trailed off, his lips brushing against hers. “Kissing. Is that what you want now?”

Shay looked at him, a little smile lifting the corners of her mouth. “Is that what you want?” She tossed the question back at him. So he’d kind of tricked her on the whole ‘fucking’ thing. It had been good. Mind blowing. She wasn’t going to fall for that twice. She wanted to touch him, to use her mouth on him. And for him to reciprocate. At the same time. No games, just simple carnal pleasure.

Kane seemed to like her answer. His lips brushed hers again. Shay reached up and took his face in her hands, keeping him in contact. Kane didn’t pull away, as she half suspected he would. Instead he parted his lips, flicking his tongue out.

Shay opened up for him, playing her tongue against his, urging him to deepen the kiss. He did, moving at a leisurely pace, sliding his tongue across hers and delving into her mouth. He angled his head, making the most out of each thrust of his tongue. Shay whimpered into his mouth. This was quite possibly the best kiss she’d ever had, the toe-curling kind that made her stomach feel fluttery and her knees weak.

Kane was kissing her slowly, methodically, into total submission. His hand began moving across her stomach, then up and down, stroking her skin. His fingers tickled across her ribs. Shay squirmed under him as he brushed against her breast. And that was as far as he went. He seemed to enjoy her sound of frustration.

Shay reached down and grabbed his hand, then placed it right on top of her breast. And had to suppress a moan. His hand was hot, huge…he began sliding his palm back and forth, lifting it a bit so that it barely grazed her nipple. She arched her back, pressing against him. She could feel him smiling against her mouth as he continued to kiss her.

His fingers moved back and forth over her hardened nipple, then he palmed her breast and kneaded it gently, sending heat coursing through Shay’s body. He broke their kiss, both of them gasping for breath. He looked intently down at her for a long moment, fingers still working at her breast. Shay wondered if he were going to talk again and the thought sent a shiver down her back. Sometimes talk was good, sometimes it was better to just go with the sensations.

He surprised her. His head ducked down again and his lips touched her neck, pressing into her. He traced a line down to her collar bone, then nipped her skin with his teeth. Shay murmured, then sighed with pleasure as his tongue flicked out to smooth over the spot. She brought her hands to rest on his shoulders, her fingers sliding over his smooth skin. She stroked up his neck, then back down his shoulders and arms, feeling the muscles flex and move against her palms.

Kane had reached the top of her breast. He nuzzled her skin for a moment, then moved on. He slid his hand down, cupping her breast, bringing the hard nipple closer to his lips. His tongue flicked out, wetting it, then he blew across it, making Shay’s body shiver in reaction.

“Oh…” articulate as ever, she managed one moan before crying out wordlessly as he opened his mouth and took her nipple inside. He sucked gently, using his teeth to nip at the sensitive skin, sliding his tongue around the peak. Shay’s hands went to the back of his head, urging him to keep going as he released one breast in favor of the other. He gave her other nipple the same treatment, his fingers mimicking the pace on the breast he’d just abandoned. Shay moaned again, low in her throat, wanting that hot wonderful mouth to keep going on until she couldn’t take anymore.

Kane released her nipple, eliciting another sound of disappointed frustration from Shay. He smiled up at her and continued making his way down her stomach. He pulled away, not stopping, just changing position. He was once again between her legs, this time stretched out on his stomach. He brought her thighs up, resting them on his shoulders. Shay stiffened up in anticipation.

Kane was in no hurry. He used his fingers to trace the folds that protected her opening, muttering something under his breath. Shay relaxed her legs, opening herself up to him, earning a satisfied sigh. He gently spread her with his fingers, parting her, then brought his head down.

The first touch of his tongue to her clit was almost enough to make Shay scream. He was still methodical, taking his time. He circled her clit, then stroked it directly up and down. Shay’s hips bucked and she moaned again. Kane withdrew, then came at her again, this time tilting his head and using his tongue side to side.

Shay looked down her body, watching as he brought her clit to full attention. Kane looked up at her, then opened his mouth and took her clit inside. He sucked gently on it, then began moving his tongue quickly over the tight nub. His eyes widened when she raised her hands and began massaging her own breasts, her fingers playing with the nipples, keeping them hard. She was on sensory overload; she was stimulated beyond any kind of rational thought.

Kane pulled his head back, making her groan in disappointment. He moved back up her body, his tongue and mouth marking a heated trail. He pressed full length against her, covering her body with his, his legs on either side of hers. He kissed her gently, surprising her. Teasing her. Damn him.

Shay slid her hands up his arms, then under them. Ok. It was her turn now. She flicked her tongue against his lips, tasting herself on his mouth. She gently sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, tongued him, then let go. Her hands were on his back, sliding down taut smooth skin, her nails gently raking him. She let her hands go lower, stroking the upper curve of his ass, then came back up, sliding around to tease at his chest.

Shay pushed him, and he rolled to her side agreeably enough. He watched as she sat up, still pushing him, until he was on his back. Shay straddled his legs, then reached up and pulled the clasp out of her hair, freeing it. Her hair, she had learned, was a turn on to most men. It aggravated her most of the time, it was unruly, but in bed it was a different story.

Kane’s eyes watched the dark curls fall loose down her back. Good. She had his attention. She leaned forward, one hand on his chest for balance, the other going to his face. She trailed one finger across his cheek, down his jawline. She traced the curve of his lips, his chin. She worked her hand down his neck, over his collarbone. She felt every contour, every muscle, every square inch of smooth skin with her hands.

Sliding back, she continued her explorations. Shay leaned forward, and pressed a kiss against his stomach, feeling him clench his muscles at the brief contact. Smiling she kissed her way down, past his belly button. Her hands rested lightly on his hips, not moving. She could feel his cock pressing against her chest. Giving him a heated look, she slid down the final few inches, aligning herself.

She flicked her tongue out, barely touching the hot flesh of his cock. It twitched, bumping her lips, making her smile. She used the flat of her tongue, started at the base, and licked him to the tip, lingering about on the sensitive ridge of skin beneath the head. She wrapped one hand loosely around him and held him as she ran tongue over the head itself, wetting it. Opening her mouth, she slowly took him inside, sucking gently.

Kane’s hips moved upward as she pulled back. Shay took him in her mouth again, this time letting him go in further, sliding her hand down his shaft. She began to move her head up and down, setting a slow pace, humming a little in the back of her throat. She felt his hand touch her head, then tangle in her dark hair to urge her movements. She closed her eyes, sucking rhythmically with each withdrawal. Her hand was squeezing the base of his cock, pulling the skin ultra-tight to heighten the sensations for him.

Kane growled wordlessly, hands leaving her hair to grab her arms. Shay released his cock and let herself be pulled up his body until she was straddling his hips. She could feel his cock pressing up into her folds and shuddered in wanting. Kane tugged at her, forcing her down to meet his lips in a heated kiss, his tongue claiming her mouth.

Shay managed to pull back, breathless. She smiled wickedly, then nuzzled her cheek against his. “Do you want me to ride you?” She asked, turning the tables a bit on him. He wasn’t the only one who could do the sexy/hoarse/rough voice thing.

She felt him chuckling more than heard it. In answer, he grasped her hips in his hands and lifted her. Taking that as her cue, she reached between her legs and positioned him at her entrance.

Shay held herself above him for a moment, then eased her body down onto his, letting out a hiss as he was sheathed. She waited a moment, adjusting to his size, then rotated her hips against him, rubbing her clit against his pelvic mound and moving him minutely inside her.

Kane loosened his grip on her hips but did not let go. He began to guide her movements, his breathing heavy. Shay began to slowly move up and down on his cock, squeezing him with her inner muscles when he was fully inside her. She pressed her hands against his chest, using the leverage to rock her hips forward instead of up, rewarding herself with his moan of approval. She picked up her pace, throwing her head back, pushing her body down against his, seeking her climax.

Kane’s hands slid up from her hips, cupping her breasts. He caught her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and began squeezing in time to her movements. He knew she was close to the edge, her body still overheated from his attention to her. He pumped his hips steadily up into her, groaning as he felt his own end catching up to him.

Shay screamed out in passion as his hips suddenly jerked up from the bed, lifting her with him. His hands bit painfully into her breasts as he climaxed, body tensed as he lost himself inside her. The feel of his throbbing cock inside her, his hands on her, made her control disappear. She climaxed with him, the heat and sensation seeming to take over her mind and body as she said his name. Shaking uncontrollably, she collapsed onto him, out of breath, sated.

Kane slowly relaxed onto the bed, his arms moving to hold her body against his. His breathing was still heavy. Shay could feel his heart pounding against her cheek. He stroked her back, calming her, calming himself.

Shay made to move, to slide to his side, but he held her tighter. Sighing in contentment, she kissed his chest.

“Rest now,” he whispered. She nodded, her eyes already closing. Her breathing evened out, deepened. Kane held her, stroked her back, breathed in the scent of her hair. He fell asleep still inside her, cradling her against his chest, lulled by her warmth.

11

“Truce?”

Shay looked up from her laptop at the door to the med room. Trina stood there, a stick in her hand, a white handkerchief tied to it. Shay laughed at her.

“Where did you get that?”

“Um…Chris Jericho. He’s been waving it around for some reason. I snatched it when he wasn’t looking.” Trina smiled. “I’m sorry about butting into your…”

“Forget it,” Shay waved her off. “I was just mad and taking it out on you.”

“Then we’re cool right?”

“Yes. And stop hanging out with Rob. If you start calling me dude, I’ll smack you.”

Trina laughed and came into the room. “So…where were you last night? I went to your room to kiss and make up, but you weren’t there.”

“I was asleep,” Shay said, going back to work on her computer.

“Uh huh.” Trina smiled knowingly. “Then why did I see you go sneaking back into your room at six this morning?” She laughed at the look on Shay’s face.

“What the hell were you doing up that early?” Shay grumbled. She had finally dragged herself out of Kane’s room after he had given her a shirt to wear to replace the one he’d torn. He was leaving, going to work out, and she needed sleep. They’d caught naps through the night, but he’d woken her up several times to…well…

Shay was trying not to think about that. She had work to do and spending all of her time daydreaming wasn’t going to get it done. She had slept like a rock until noon, then had soaked in a hot bath for an hour. She was still sore as hell. Which was why she was sitting down, updating files; a job that meant little movement.

“I woke up and Bubs was out cold and I couldn’t get him up,” She emphasized the last word with a grin. “So I was going to take a walk. And I saw you. Sneaking around…” She shook her head.

If Trina wanted details she wasn’t going to get them. Shay just smiled.

“Fine, don’t say anything.” Trina grouched. “You’ll tell me eventually. I have to go find Bubbles. Maybe I can talk him into giving me some before the show starts.”

Shay started laughing. “Bubba must be good in bed to have you so dickmatized.”

“He is…” Trina said dreamily before giggling. “I’m going to steal that word. Dickmatized. I’ll see you later.” When she was gone, Shay shook her head.

Shay had tried all day not to think about the night before. It had taken on a dreamlike cast, something that had happened in another lifetime. Well…except for the soreness. But it was definitely a good kind of sore.

It had been a good thing that she had yet to see Kane at all since he’d left that morning. She wasn’t sure her hormones could take it. Wiped out was putting it mildly.

Sighing, she saved what she had been working and packed the laptop up. The other trainers were in the hallway; she could hear them laughing. Nothing much was going on. She was going to call it a night. She planned on driving down to the next venue tonight instead of spending another night at the hotel. That way she could get the trip over with.

Shay exited the arena through the loading dock, then stood there for a moment, looking at the rows of trucks parked there. A small group of fans were gathered at the corner of the building, watching for the wrestlers to leave. Other than that she was alone.

Momentarily. She heard a voice from her right. Shay quirked an eyebrow. There was no mistaking that noise; it was Vince McMahon. He had a particular voice, grating even when he wasn’t worked into a frenzy. He was standing beside one of the trucks, out of view of the fans. He was talking quietly to…Shay had to squint to make him out. Kane. She frowned and settled the bag she carried in her hand. What the hell would Kane and Vince have to say to each other? Vince was the boss, not necessarily the friendly kind either. She heard another voice, and her frown deepened. Bischoff. At a house show?

She almost wished she could move closer to hear what they were actually saying. Kane didn’t talk, that she could make out, but she did see him nod several times. Biting her lip, she decided to pretend she hadn’t noticed them. She locked her eyes on her car, parked at the rear of the lot, past the fans. All right. Just walk forward, get in, leave. It was probably business related. Yes. Then why did she have such a bad feeling about the three of them talking?

She had only taken a few steps when she felt eyes on her. She didn’t even have to look, she only knew one person who could burn a hole into her with a look. She ignored it. She cast an uneasy smile toward the fans, who were clamoring to ask her if she knew any of the wrestlers. She didn’t answer them.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she quickly got into her car. Without knowing why, she hit the door locks. Ok. Better. She laughed at herself. Trina was right, she was jumpy. Kane was talking to the bosses. That was it. Shay herself had talked to them on more than one occasion. So what could possibly be so ominous about a private hidden conversation at a house show in the middle of the parking lot?

“Absolutely nothing,” She said out loud, smiling. That sounded convincing. Putting the car into gear, she headed for the exit, casting one last glance toward the loading docks. Kane was standing there, ignoring the fans who were jumping up and down and trying to get his attention. He was staring straight at her car.

Shay tightened her grip on the steering wheel and drove on. Once the building was behind her she relaxed. Why the hell was she so nervous all of a sudden?

She reached over and turned the radio on. Good, music. A distraction from her thoughts. Why did she feel this sudden urge to jump to conclusions where Kane was concerned anyway? It was none of her business. As far as she was concerned, last night had been game over. Hadn’t they both gotten what they’d wanted? Wasn’t that what he’d been after all along? He could focus his…intentions…elsewhere now. Sleeping with Shay had most likely taken all of the challenge out of it for him.

She found absolutely no comfort in the thought. Regret, yes. Not for what had happened, she couldn’t lie; she had loved every minute of it. But the chase was over.

“And that’s a good thing,” she muttered. Maybe she could go back to her semi-peaceful existence. Maybe Kane would just go away and leave her alone. Shay snorted laughter. “Right,” she was talking to herself again. Had to stop that little habit too. Deep down she knew, she felt, Kane was not done with her yet. Her stomach clenched at the thought. She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

Forcing herself to stop thinking, she cranked up the volume on the radio and sang along, drowning out her nerves in a wash of hard rock music. Two hours, then her room. Then sleep. And she’d worry about Kane when he did something to actually make her worry.

12

Monday again.

Shay had a rather…interesting weekend.

She’d managed to avoid any contact with Kane, unsure why exactly she was doing it. She left the house shows early, moving on to the next venue, not staying an extra night where she knew the wrestlers were staying. At the arenas, she kept herself buried in the med room, only venturing out when someone was with her. Or when Kane was wrestling.

She couldn’t go without seeing him for long of course. But she managed to keep her distance, only catching glimpses of him. Several times she’d felt as if she were being watched, but there had been no one around. She damned her nerves for making her feel so on edge.

There was a moment, Saturday night, when she’d seen Kane entering his locker room. He looked so…dejected. Shay caught herself as she stepped forward, meaning to go to him. Scared by that particular response, she’d taken off in the other direction.

She wasn’t afraid of him. She feared what he could do to her. Not that she thought he would physically hurt her. But from her response to him the other night, she couldn’t seem to trust her own body anymore. The more time she had to think about it, the more embarrassed she became.

Sunday night she’d been in her hotel room, going through her bag, when she’d found the shirt he’d given her to wear back to her room. It was huge on her. Feeling a moment of weakness, she slipped it on, smelling his scent. She had closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, then laughed at herself. She didn’t want to be around him, but was considering tracking him down to see if he’d rip his shirt off of her like…

Shay cleared her thoughts as she walked across the parking lot. It was early, not yet four in the afternoon. The crew had come in early and set up for the show. Although this would be her week to take a few days off, Shay had decided to make up for the night she’d left early by getting some paperwork caught up. Nice boring paperwork. Mind numbing paperwork. It sounded great to her.

She had just turned the corner, humming a tune under her breath when she was roughly grabbed from behind. Shay yelped in pain as her breath was forced from her. She was lifted off her feet and carried into an open locker room door.

The arm around her eased and Shay gasped in ragged breaths. “Put me…” she managed to choke out the two words, but was cut off as she was abruptly dropped to her feet.

She stumbled a little, almost falling, then caught her balance. Turning, she looked up at Kane with no surprise.

“Were you going to ignore me forever?” He asked flatly. His fists were clenched at his sides. He looked extremely pissed off. Shay took a slow breath, feeling it catch a bit in her chest.

“I wasn’t…”

“Don’t lie to me, Shay,” Kane stepped forward, closing the gap between them. Shay backed up, jumping when her butt hit the counter that ran against one wall. She grabbed the edge of it with her hands, trying to steady herself.

“Give me a good reason now.” He wasn’t asking. He was demanding. Shay bit her lip.

“I…I was just…” She lowered her eyes from his, feeling her face flush. “I didn’t know how to handle…the stuff that comes after. I thought that you were done…with…”

“One night is not going to be enough to get you out of my system,” Kane had moved until he was standing in front of her, inches away. Shay flinched back at his voice, not looking up at him. She stared instead…at his thighs. Oh boy. Not a good idea. She looked elsewhere. At his chest. No good either. She gave up and just closed her eyes.

“Oh.” Once again she proved herself to be a great conversationalist.

Kane said nothing. Shay was getting tired of looking at the backs of her eyelids.

She risked looking up at him. He was staring at the top of her head, eyes dark with anger. Shay started to look away when his hand came up and took her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.

“Unbutton your shirt.” Flat, emotionless. Shay opened her mouth to protest and realized her hands had already gone to the top button of the shirt she’d put on that morning. Ok, so he was back to playing whatever game held him fascinated. She complied, albeit reluctantly. When the final button was open, she held the ends of the shirt together, the material clutched in her hands.

Kane let go of her chin, then gripped her shoulders and turned her around, putting her back to him. There was a mirror hanging over the counter. Her eyes met his in the reflection, making her knees feel like buckling. He’d gone from red hot temper to just plain red hot in a matter of seconds.

Kane wrapped his arms around her, pulling her hands away from her shirt. Shay watched their reflection as he pulled it off her shoulders and tossed it to the floor. His hands moved to her breasts, cupping them through the filmy satin of her bra. She tried to force herself not to respond, but couldn’t help it. She moaned softly and swayed back against him.

Kane ducked his head low, his mouth brushing the skin of her neck. “Do I feel like I’m done with you yet?” He asked, his voice a low rumble. One of his hands slid down her stomach, pushing her ass back into his groin. She could feel his cock, hard and ready, through his jeans. It was a good thing he was holding her up. She grabbed the edge of the counter again, just in case.

Kane stopped toying with her breast and slid his other hand up her chest, her neck, onto her hair. With one tug, he pulled the hairclip loose, sending it to the floor to join her shirt. He raked his fingers through her hair, letting it cascade down her back in dark waves. His hands went back to her breasts, kneading them roughly, his fingers finding her rock hard nipples through the fabric of her bra and tweaking them.

What little resistance she thought she had crumbled. She pressed herself back into his groin again, heat flaring inside her at his murmur of approval. His hands slid away from her breasts, down to the waistband of her jeans, his fingers working the zipper.

Shay shivered at the rasp of metal. She knew there was not going to be any slow lovemaking, not this time. She’d never particularly been one for quickies, but all at once her body seemed to be on fire. She helped him shove her jeans down her legs, pushing her panties with them. One big hand slid down between her thighs, the fingers searching. She tried to open up but her legs were pinned by her jeans. She gasped when his fingers finally slipped through her folds, gliding over her clit, pressing it. Moaning, she bucked her hips against his hand.

His other hand was working the zipper of his own jeans. Shay leaned forward, pressing her palms flat against the counter, giving him room. She watched in the mirror as he finally worked the rough material down his hips, his fingers still toying with her clit, rubbing it dead on, sending shockwaves of heat coursing through her.

Kane pulled his hand away from her, earning a groan of disappointment. Shay was more than ready, damn it. A few more seconds and she would have finished in his hand and died happy doing it. Kane grabbed her hips and jerked them back, pressing his hot flesh against her ass, grinding into her.

One of his hands slid up her back, to her neck. He tangled his fist into her hair the pushed her forward, bending her over the counter. He took his cock in his other hand, guiding it between her thighs.

Shay felt the head probing against her, sliding, as Kane used her wetness to lubricate himself. He positioned himself, the head of his cock pressing into her folds. Tugging her hair, he pushed forward into her, making her cry out at the feel of him entering her body.

Kane began moving his hips in a steady hard rhythm, rocking back and forth against her. Shay couldn’t move, he had her effectively pinned to the counter. She let herself feel his cock as it moved, the skin of his thighs against hers, his hips pressing hard into her ass. She squeezed her legs tighter together, creating more friction for both of them.

Kane picked up his pace. He was all but slamming into her now, going deep, thrusts barely controlled. He slid his hand around her leg and his fingers managed to find her clit again. He was way past the point of any gentleness or playing; he began rubbing in time to his pounding thrusts, pressing against her from both sides.

Shay’s body suddenly went rigid under his, her inner muscles clamping down on his cock almost painfully. She slammed her hand over her mouth, stifling a scream as her release took over, her head feeling as if it were going to explode from the power of her orgasm.

Kane groaned out her name, his hips digging into her, his cock buried as deep as it would go inside her. As her own climax subsided she felt his begin, felt his cock swell, felt it pump into her. That sensation alone was enough to make her moan with a second, less powerful orgasm.

Gasping for breath, he finally released her hair, easing his body out of hers. Shay did not move. She wasn’t sure her legs would support her. She could hear him moving but did not seem to have the energy to see what he was doing.

She jumped a little when his hands touched her back. She managed to open her eyes and looked at him over her shoulder. He had fixed his clothes and was carrying a towel.

Without a word, he used the towel to clean her off, keeping one big hand on her back, stroking her skin. Shay practically purred. She managed to straighten up so that he could work her jeans back up her hips and button them. Her legs felt watery. She was pretty sure they would be all right though. In a few hours. Maybe more.

“I have a meeting,” Kane said. All the heat from their encounter was gone from his voice, but Shay could still see in his eyes that dark lust that made her feel so limp.

“Yes.” She could not think of anything else to add to that. She herself had paperwork. Who the hell cared about paperwork? She’d just had her clock cleaned yet again by the man she had spent days successfully avoiding.

“You come to me next time,” Kane stared hard at her and Shay nodded. What else could she do? Seemed like telling him ‘no’ was out of the question. Especially since her body refused to be cooperative about it.

Kane surprised her by leaning down and pressing a brief kiss against her lips. Then he turned and left the locker room. Shay stared at the door for several minutes, then tested her legs. Ok. Walking was manageable. She’d just have to make it through the rest of the night. She half-grinned at the thought. If he kept doing stuff like this to her, she’d be the one who ended up in the med room seeking help.

13

Unfortunately, business in the med room was slow. Shay managed to watch most of the show from a monitor in the hallway. For some reason, they had talked Kane into acting like he was under ‘house arrest’. They couldn’t explain his erratic behavior, so the writers had decided to make it look like he were being punished.

That would explain the conversation he’d been having with McMahon and Bischoff. Although as this was going down, Vince was nowhere to be seen. Linda, his wife, was the one who came down with the news.

Shay actually liked Linda. She seemed like a smart woman, pretty much running the company from the home office. She was acting as the figurehead for Raw apparently, since Vince was making waves already on their other show.

She watched as Kane went to the ring, cuffed and shackled, led by a group of ‘police officers’. She recognized two of them from the ring crew. Kane didn’t look exactly happy with the situation, but he stood there and let them take away his restraints.

He had a decent match with Rob Van Dam. Shay found herself wincing every time either of them got hit. Usually they guys just made it look painful; Shay knew from the expressions on their faces that these two were intent on hurting each other. Rob was usually so laid back, it was strange seeing that kind of fire from him.

They were fighting their way up the ramp when all hell broke loose. Kane took Rob down, beat up several of the ‘cops’, then topped it all off by piledriving Linda McMahon into the steel.

She was standing there with a hand over her mouth when one of the trainers came jogging by. “We gotta go out, check on Linda…” Shay nodded and followed him, feeling slightly sick to her stomach. So much for the noble thought that Kane wouldn’t be able to hurt her physically. She had thought he’d draw the line at women. The women wrestlers were one thing; in the ring they knew how to take a bump. But Linda was not a wrestler. Hell, the most physical thing Shay had ever seen her do was walk the treadmill in the gym.

The show had gone off the air, but the fans were still in their seats, watching. Kane stood over all of the fallen people, breathing heavily, face a mask of anger. Shay gave him one wary glance, then kneeled by Linda’s side.

At least her eyes were open. Linda was blinking, trying to focus. “Linda…it’s Shay. We’re going to check you over, so hold still for us.” Linda blinked in response. That was good enough for Shay.

She seemed to be all right, although shaken up. The head trainer insisted on getting a neck board, just in case. Linda waved him off, finally shaking off some of the effects of having been stunned. Shay helped her to slowly sit up, barely hearing the crowd as they clapped. Shay risked a glance around and saw that Kane had disappeared, probably backstage to change and get ready to leave.

She left Linda in the hands of the other trainers and went to kneel next to Rob. He’d pushed himself into a sitting position, using one of the stage’s supports as a back prop. “How are you doing?” Shay asked.

Rob looked at her and gave her that easy, lopsided smile of his. “I’ve been better. But I’ll live I suppose.” He tried to stand, but winced in pain.

“What is it? Ribs?” Shay reached out, but Rob smacked her hands away. He was ticklish.

“My back. It’ll be fine. Just need to give it a minute before I do any flips or anything.” As usual, he played it off. That laid back thing. Strangely enough, he would be all right. He was probably the most resilient guy on their roster.

“You’ll come see me if it bothers you?” She already knew he wouldn’t. Getting Rob to admit he was hurt was like pulling teeth. It had taken her almost two hours to talk him into taping up his ribs several months ago when he’d cracked one during a match. The man seemed to have phenomenal pain control.

“Of course,” He tried again to push to his feet, succeeding this time. He gave her that lazy smile again, then limped off through the curtain to the back. Shay watched him, shaking her head.

They were helping Linda to her feet. Most of the ‘cops’ were milling around, looking dazed. Kane had been a little easier on them apparently. She followed the other trainers to the back, then left them to moon over Linda. They wouldn’t earn any points with her by coddling her; Shay almost felt sorry for them for trying.

She headed off down the hallway, wondering what the hell was going on. Even for Kane, going after Linda just didn’t make sense. She’d seen them talking before, they seemed to get along, Linda wouldn’t hurt a fly…

She cut her thoughts off as she stopped in front of a door. Kane’s door. She didn’t even know why she was here. Without bothering to knock, she pushed the door and went inside.

His bag was open on the counter. She could hear the shower running from around the corner. Moving slow, she went to the entrance to the shower. Kane stood under the water, head down, letting it hit him on the back of the head and neck. His back was to her. He had one hand against the wall, seeming to prop himself up.

“Kane…” she raised her voice so he could hear her over the shower. His head lifted an inch. That was the only reaction she got.

She watched as water ran down his back, over his butt, down the backs of his legs. Shay licked her lips. What had she come in here for again?

“Um…I’m not working again until Saturday night,” She finally managed to speak. “I was thinking…um…I’m going to go to my house. Try to get some rest.” Why was she telling him this? It wasn’t like she needed his permission.

He said nothing. Didn’t even appear to breath. Shay opened her mouth to ask him about earlier, about Linda, but couldn’t. What was she going to say to him anyway? Ask him why? He pretty much did as he pleased and didn’t answer to anybody.

Sighing, she stepped back. “I’ll…come see you…when I get back…” She said softly. There was no sign that he’d heard her. Shay turned and headed back toward the locker room door.

Once in the hallway she took a deep breath and to her surprise felt as if she were going to cry. She could feel tears burning her eyes, stinging. Blinking rapidly, she moved toward the med room to gather her things. Kane just seemed so…hurt. And she didn’t know how to reach out to him.

14

“So are you going to talk about what’s bothering you, or are you going to destroy every flower in my garden?”

Shay blinked and looked down. She’d been at her mom’s house, helping to pull weeds. She had a handful of flowers, ready to yank them out of the ground.

“Sorry Mom. Guess my mind is wandering,” She shrugged then leaned back, tilting her face up into the sun.

“There’s an understatement,” Gail eyed her daughter. “So who is he, and when do we get to meet him?”

“What?” Shay looked up at her mother in surprise. As always, she had forgotten how easy it was for her mother to get into her head.

“Don’t what me. It’s obvious that some man has your head in the clouds.” Gail smiled knowingly.

Shay sighed. “It’s not what you think.”

“Oh?” Eyebrow up, Gail eased down on her knees near her daughter and began fussing over her plants. “Then what is it?”

“Mom…” Shay sighed, not wanting to go into detail.

“Oh no…you’re sleeping with a married man!” Gail took a shot in the dark. Shay’s mouth dropped open.

“Mom!”

“I knew something like this was going to happen!” Her mother looked at her daughter accusingly. “Working, traveling with all those men. I knew it was just a matter or time…”

“He’s…not married,” Shay said slowly. At least not that she knew off. It had never occurred to her to ask. Great. Something else to worry about.

“Thank you,” Gail smiled sweetly. Shay actually smacked herself in the forehead, forgetting that her hands were covered in dirt. Damn…her mom was good. Shay thought she should probably take notes. She could learn something about the art of manipulation from this woman.

Gail sighed. “Hon, I can’t help you if you don’t talk about it.”

“I know Mom, but it’s…” She shrugged. “Personal.”

“Sexual you mean,” Gail grinned at her.

“That too,” Shay finally admitted, feeling herself blush. She hated it when her mom brought up sex. The ‘talk’ they’d had when Shay had started dating in high school had been particularly embarrassing for her.

“So you are sleeping with someone,” Her mother said, ignoring Shay’s pained look. “He must be something, to be able to get to you like this. Usually on your days off you lounge around the pool. Today, you’re trying to strangle my petunias.”

“I don’t know what he is, Mom. I thought it was just going to be, you know…casual.” Shay finally admitted. She refused to look her mother in the eye.

“Oh, Shay…” Gail smiled and touched her daughter’s arm. “I thought the same thing when I met your father. Our first date and we…”

“Oh God, please…” Shay closed her eyes. “I do NOT want to hear sex stories about you and dad. Anything but that. Call Granddad and tell him I want to hear all of his war stories. Please?”

“Dear, I’m just saying,” Gail could not hide how Shay’s uneasiness amused her. “That sexual attraction turned into love.”

“Don’t be offended as I shudder at the thought,” Shay said. “And I don’t love him.”

“Really?” Her mom smiled. “Then why is it every time you start talking, you yank up another flower? Really Shay, I’m going to have to put in a rock garden if you keep this up.”

Shay huffed in aggravation. “I don’t love him, Mother. I barely know him. There, are you happy?” She gave up on the garden and sat back on the grass, wrapping her arms around her legs.

“Oh, ecstatic,” Her mother said. She was still smiling. “So what is the problem? Is he…you know…bad in bed?”

“Mom…” Shay’s voice carried a warning note. The problem with having a mother who also wanted to be your friend, Shay had discovered, was that they did not feel as if any topic was taboo.

“Shay, I don’t know what to tell you to make you feel better. What is the problem? You care about him, obviously…”

“Yeah. I don’t know,” Shay shook her head. “I feel sorry for him. And he scares me. And he…well…he turns me on. All at the same time.”

Her mom’s eyes showed concern for the first time. “He’s not hitting you is he? Hurting you?”

“No,” Shay said softly.

Gail sighed in relief. “Good. Because I’d hate to have to hurt someone for hurting my baby.” When Shay didn’t react, Gail reached over and took her hand. “Whatever it is we’ll work through it Shay. You’ll work through it. If he’s a smart man, then he’ll see he’s worrying you and maybe you can work it out.”

“Maybe,” Shay said doubtfully. She finally looked into her mom’s eyes. “I think…I don’t know…he might be a little…unbalanced.”

“Dear, if he beats people up for a living, then that’s a given,” Gail said, smiling again.

“Then maybe I’m the unbalanced one,” Shay said. “I’m the one brooding over him.”

Gail waited for Shay to go on, but there was only silence. She knew if she pushed, Shay would end up resenting her. “So…are you going to be staying for dinner tonight? Spaghetti and meatballs…”

Shay smiled weakly. “Sounds good, but no. I think I’m going to go home and destroy my own garden.” She took a few minutes to wash up, then kissed her parents goodbye before leaving.

Back at her house, Shay did nothing. Paced around. Turned the TV on and off. She was restless, needing something but not knowing what it was. She picked at her dinner, then took a long soak in the tub.

She climbed into bed after midnight, worn out but not sleepy. She was just…blah, nothing, empty. She lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, letting her thoughts wander. Her phone rang, jarring her.

It took her a moment to find it in the dark. “Hello?”

There was silence for a second, then she heard an intake of breath. “Shay.”

Shay closed her eyes. “Kane…” his name was just a whisper. Hearing his voice made her feel better and worse at the same time. She was just so damn confused about what she felt…

“You’re afraid of me now,” He said softly. He sounded…regretful? Shay couldn’t be sure. She thought about the show, about Linda.

“I have always been a little afraid of you,” she finally admitted. She settled back against the headboard, holding the phone against her ear.

“I can not change what I am,” Kane said. Now she was sure she heard regret. And hurt. And such pain it made her feel like crying.

“Kane…”

“I have a temper. I can’t always control it. It’s always there, just lurking, under the surface. I don’t want you to be afraid of me Shay. You should just…stay away from me. It’s…safer that way.”

Shay gripped the phone. He sounded as if he were the one on the verge of tears. “Kane…” she took a deep breath. “Are you married?”

Shay could almost see his mind trying to follow her switch in conversation, see the confusion on his face. “No…I have never been ma…”

“Good. That’s a relief.” Shay cleared her throat. “I want you to come to me.”

“Wh…No. I told you, I can’t. I don’t trust myself to…”

“I trust you, Kane.” Shay actually hadn’t thought so until the words were coming out of her mouth. “I know you’re not working. Come to my house. You know where it is.”

“It’s…not a good idea…” But Shay could tell he wanted to. Could hear the need to see her in his voice.

“Do you want me to beg?” She asked softly.

“I…no…” For once it was Kane who couldn’t seem to form a complete sentence. Shay smiled into the dark.

“Then come to my house. Come see me. Right now, tonight.”

Kane held a thoughtful silence, and Shay let it drag out.

“All right. I can be there…” there was a shuffling noise. “In four hours. I…Shay, are you sure?”

This was a new side that she hadn’t seen yet. He sounded positively bashful.

“I’m more than sure. Drive carefully. I’ll be waiting.” She gently hung up before he could answer, then threw back the covers. She had some time to kill before he arrived, and she suddenly felt like cooking.

15

Three and a half hours later, Shay stood back and surveyed her kitchen. She’d gone nuts. Yes. Obviously. She’d grilled a couple of steaks. Sliced tomatoes and onions, lettuce, cheese. Made eggs and bacon. Toast. Hash browns. A stack of pancakes was being kept warm in the oven. She’d cooked some sausage links, wrinkling her nose at the smell. She didn’t really like them; it was just something to do to occupy herself. She’d even pulled out her juicer, making orange juice, a task that she absolutely loathed.

She breathed in deeply, letting the comforting smells do their work. Her stomach growled. Shay smiled. Her appetite had returned with a vengeance. She picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled on it, wondering what else she could make.

And stopped in her tracks before she could make a move to see what was left in her fridge. Someone was knocking on her door. Feeling her stomach flutter with nerves, Shay adjusted her shirt and headed toward the front of the house. She’d changed into a pair of shorts and tank top, hair held back by a simple pin, feet bare. She was dressed for her own comfort, not to impress or seduce.

She opened the door and looked at Kane for a minute. He looked so…defeated. As if he’d argued himself all the way to her house and had lost. Shay stood back and motioned him in.

“I hope you’re hungry,” She said in way of greeting. Kane glanced sideways at her, eyes questioning. “Uh…when I get nervous, I cook. It’s genetic or something.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. Shay took this as a good sign. She led the way to the kitchen, pointing him in the direction of the table that was tucked in the corner. “Have a seat. I’ll bring it to you.” She watched as he lowered his big frame into the chair, and grinned. “Don’t get used to this. I’m not a waitress.”

He nodded slowly, still not looking directly at her. Shay began serving out the food, loading up two plates and carrying them to the table. When she had poured their juice, she finally took the chair across from Kane and dug in.

She noticed that he wasn’t eating. “I didn’t poison it.” She goaded gently. Kane seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts, picking up his fork and poking the hash browns with it. They ate in silence for a few minutes, Shay watching as he seemed to perk up a bit when he discovered the food was good. She would have laughed. The one thing she knew how to do well was cook.

“Ok…” She finally said, taking a long drink of juice. “So…talk to me.”

“About?” His eyes lifted briefly, meeting hers.

“About you.” She shrugged. “About what’s going on in your head. I want to get to know you.”

This seemed to stun him. Shay watched as he processed her words. Had no one ever taken the time to actually find out about this man? She kicked herself for not doing it sooner. This was too much like dating in reverse. Sleep together, then go through the awkward talking stuff.

“What…” Kane stopped, composing his thoughts. “What would you want to know?” He sounded wary. Shay hoped she had the patience for this.

“What do you want to tell me?” She put her fork down. “How about…why Linda? Why work as a wrestler? Why can’t you control your temper? What the hell do you see in me that fascinates you so damn much?” She was taking a shot at that last one. Asking for trouble.

Kane sighed, then took a sip from his own glass. “I wrestle because I am good at it.” He said simply. He had the look of someone that did not enjoy being asked questions of a personal nature.

“And?” Shay was going to be relentless.

Kane sighed again. “And…it was Linda because…uh,” he shook his head. “I told you I have this temper. This…rage. I don’t know why. It’s just always been there. So I wrestle, it’s the way I deal with it. And if I want to keep on wrestling, I have to do what my bosses tell me to do.”

Shay’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that Vince and Sleazy E told you to hurt Linda?”

Kane hesitated, then shrugged. “It was…implied. I wasn’t going to do it. I don’t hit women…” he saw the look on her face. “Under ordinary circumstances, I would never hurt a female Shay. Never.” Kane said it with passion. Shay totally believed him. She’d been alone with him on more than one occasion and he’d never hurt her. “I think that Vince made sure that Linda came out there when he knew I’d be so mad I wouldn’t really know what I was doing.” He closed his eyes, thinking. “I just remember grabbing her and thinking that’s what everybody wanted Kane to do, everybody wanted Kane to be the monster…”

“You are not a monster,” Shay said softly. She reached across the table and touched his hand.

“I can’t always control myself when I hit a certain level,” He continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “It’s just…adrenaline. No emotion. No pain. Not until…after.”

“Kane…” Shay stroked the back of his hand.

His eyes opened and he stared at her, licking his lips before going on. “You never judged me. At least…not at first.”

“I’m not judging you now,” She said. She held his gaze.

He seemed to search her for something, then nodded. “You will.” He gave an empty laugh. “Everyone thinks they know me. I’m cold, emotionless…distant.” He saw her open her mouth to deny it, but he held up a hand to stop her. “You did too. But…you weren’t afraid to come around me when I was…out of control. No one else gave a damn. It was just a show. A ratings grabber. Kane’s lost his temper and all hell’s breaking lose, let’s get a camera in there.”

Kane lifted his hand to rub wearily at his eyes. Shay noticed for the first time how very tired he seemed to be. She got up and walked around the table, then sat down in his lap, putting her arms around him, hugging him. Kane didn’t return it, but she could feel him relax a bit under her.

“You are the only one who would ever do this,” He whispered. “The only time I ever really feel anything is when I am with you.”

“Kane…” Shay squeezed him tighter. “You are not some emotionless robot.”

“I can be. I am. Most of the time.” He finally put his hands on her back, holding her close. “Why couldn’t you just be like everyone else?”

Shay frowned at his words. “Like…how?” She pulled back to look into his eyes.

Kane reached up and smoothed an errant lock of hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Treating me like a caged animal. Keeping your distance. Not bothering to…to even talk to me.” He stroked her cheek. “Even after I tried to degrade you…”

Shay smiled at that. “I wanted it. You didn’t hear me complaining did you?”

“No,” The word came out on a sigh. “You wanted to know why I am so fascinated with you.” Shay nodded. “I don’t know.”

“That’s…not what I expected to hear,” She said with humor in her voice.

“You tried to be my friend,” he finally muttered.

“So did Rob. So did Terri. Why me?” She asked, stroking the back of his head with her hand.

“Because you didn’t seem to see me the way they saw me. I was their ‘friend’ when it was convenient. You have seen me at my very worst, and look at where we are now…” he gestured, taking in the entire kitchen. Shay smiled.

“You don’t scare me. Is that it?” She asked.

Kane’s brow creased in a slight frown. “You said on the phone…that you were…afraid of me.” And there was that regret in his voice. The pain. Shay traced her fingertips over his forehead, easing the lines there.

“Not afraid of you really,” She touched his lips with her finger. “Afraid of what you make me feel.”

“Oh,” he seemed utterly confused. “Do I make you feel…bad?”

“No. It’s not…”Shay shook her head. “I see you hurting and it hurts me. When you’re upset, I want to comfort you. But I don’t know how. You don’t seem to want it. And the whole time that’s going on, I just want you. It happens so damn fast, my head spins.”

“It’s all…sex then,” he said slowly.

Shay poked him in the shoulder. “No. Although, uh…I don’t mind that part of it. I want to get to know you. I want to be your friend, if you’ll let me. I’ve never had to work so hard to be somebody’s friend before.”

“I’ve never had anybody try so hard to be my friend,” Kane said thoughtfully. He eyed her speculatively. “I don’t like to…get close to people.”

“Yeah,” Shay said agreeably. She was stroking his neck.

“They tend to…to turn on you, hurt you…” his voice trailed off as her fingers pressed into his shoulders, massaging him.

“I would never hurt you, Kane,” Shay said softly. “Not intentionally. Not just to see you in pain.”

His eyes slipped shut and he moaned as she found a sore spot in his broad shoulder and worked on it. “I don’t want to hurt you Shay…” he finally muttered. He was nearly asleep sitting up with her in his lap.

“Then don’t.” She kept stroking his shoulders, his back.

“I don’t know…” his eyes opened wearily. “I told you…sometimes I can’t control…” He sighed and closed his eyes again. “I can’t give you any more than what you’ve gotten so far. It’s just…not in me.”

Shay stopped rubbing his shoulders and cupped his face in her hands. “That’s bullshit.” He opened his eyes in surprise at the force of her words. “It is in you. I’ve seen it.”

Kane was shaking his head. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he said. “Whatever it is…it’s just not there. There is nothing inside me Shay. Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” She repeated. She leaned into him, pressing her cheek against his. “I know you remember that first night we spent together.” She felt him nod against her. “Remember you told me what the difference was between fucking and making love?” He nodded again. Shay smiled. “How could you make love to me and not feel anything? Be emotionless, taking. Isn’t that what fucking is?”

“It’s not…”

Shay didn’t let him finish. Sitting back, she forced him to look into her eyes. “I want you to make love to me now. Slow and easy, like you said. And then you tell me that you feel absolutely nothing inside you, that you have no emotion except for anger and pain.” Her eyes darkened with her words. “Touch me and drive me crazy and then tell me that it means nothing to you. If you just wanted mindless robotic fucking, you could have had that. I wanted you so much I would not say no to you. But you were the one who wanted the emotion, the attachment. You wanted to feel damn it, and you did. You were the one who wanted to make love, to go slow, to touch and taste and tease.” As she spoke, her hands slid to his shoulders. “And I loved every minute of it. Every second. Even more than that first time that I wanted so much. Because you let yourself go, you opened yourself up, you…you…”

Taking several deep breaths, she smiled at him. “You let me see a side of you that nobody else had ever seen,” she finally said. “The softer side that wants to be held. That wants to feel. That’s why I am not afraid of you. Because no matter what you say, you are not some unfeeling chunk of stone. You wanted me to see that. Maybe even needed me to see that. And that…” she stroked his shoulders with her hands. “Is what has been driving me crazy the last few days.”

Kane was quiet for a few minutes. Shay realized she had just given him a speech. She felt slightly embarrassed by her outburst, but held her tongue, not wanting to apologize for it, or ruin any headway she had made.

“Shay…” When he finally spoke, his voice was rough. There was a tenderness to it too, a strange mix. How could this man even think he had no emotions when he spoke volumes with just her name?

16

Shay didn’t let him talk. Instead she cupped his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his. She could feel him trying not to respond to her, still trying to deny what was happening to him. She increased the pressure, then pulled back a little and used the tip of her tongue to trace his bottom lip. She kissed him again, softly, willing him to kiss her back.

He gave in, he could not help it. His lips parted, his tongue slipping through to touch hers. Shay tilted her head, deepening the kiss, humming softly when his hand slip up and tangled in her hair. Her fingers stroked his cheeks, holding him close, as she lost herself in his kiss.

Kane broke the contact, changed the angle, and kissed her again, forcefully, passionately. The pent up emotion she felt in that kiss was enough to stun Shay. He was still holding a little of himself back, fighting against things he had never allowed himself to feel. She wanted it damn it, wanted him to just let himself go, to let her in.

She broke the kiss this time, out of breath, half smiling into his desire-clouded eyes. Kane never looked more serious. “I thought this wasn’t just…the sex.” He finally said, doing that hoarse whispery voice thing that sent a shiver down her back.

Shay brushed his lips with her fingers. “This is not sex. This is…” she kissed him quickly. “Just a little make out session in the kitchen.”

Kane laughed. An actual honest laugh. The sound of it almost floored Shay. He looked like he had surprised himself with it. Shay giggled at the look on his face.

“What is so funny?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. He’d turned serious. Uh oh.

‘Uh…” she giggled again. “You. Us. I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” he settled her more comfortably on his lap, then raised a hand and pulled the clip from her hair. Shay leaned her head against his shoulder, relaxing into him. He wrapped his arms around her, rocking slowly in the chair, content to just hold her. Shay stifled a yawn. Food, talking, and being so close to his warmth…she suddenly felt like sleeping. She snuggled closer to him.

Kane closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her in his arms, feeling her breath against his neck. After everything he’d done, everything he’d said, Shay still trusted him enough to be this close to him, alone in her house. That trust was something he’d never felt before in his life. He had done nothing to earn it. It was just…there.

He stood, scooping her against him easily, cradling her. Shay’s arms tightened around his neck. “What are you doing?” She asked softly.

“Bed,” He replied.

“Mmm…” Shay placed a soft kiss on his neck.

“To sleep Shay.” Kane was smiling though.

“Gotta clean up the kitchen first…” she muttered. Kane carried her out of the kitchen and into the hallway. He had to struggle not to react when he felt her tongue flicking out to lick his neck.

“I’ll clean it up,” He said. They entered her room. Kane eased her down onto the bed.

“And he does dishes too…” Shay said with a grin. Her eyes were barely open. Kane detangled himself from her arms, kissing the backs of her hands. He started to move away but she pulled him down.

“Come back…” She whispered. Kane nodded. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Shay tugged his arm. Kane bent down and brushed his lips over hers. He could feel her smiling against his mouth. “Will you…make love to me?”

Kane swallowed. Closed his eyes. He nuzzled her cheek with his. “Yes.” He wanted to do it now, but held back. She had been up all night, she was tired. They both needed a little time to think.

“Forget the dishes. Get in bed and hold me for a while,” She murmured.

“Shay…” Kane shook his head. “If I get in bed with you now, you might never get any sleep.”

“Sounds…great…to me,” she had to force the words out. “You promise you’ll come in here as soon as you’re done?”

“I promise,” he whispered against her, kissing her lightly on the temple.

“Good…” she closed her eyes. “I’ll…keep your spot…warm.”

Kane sat back, letting his fingers stroke her cheek, watching her as she drifted into sleep. Sighing, he finally stood and headed back toward the kitchen. He wasn’t tired…just confused. And lonely in a way he had never been before.

Shay blinked, then squinted. The sunlight pouring through her window was blinding. She moaned and started to roll away from the light when she felt a large arm wrapping around her waist. She smiled. She’d momentarily forgotten her houseguest. Sighing, she snuggled back into Kane’s body, wondering how the man could make her feel so damn…secure.

“Mornin’ Shay,” his voice was low, drawling. He still sounded mostly asleep himself.

“Mmm…” That was all she could manage to get out. She chanced opening one eye. Ok. She was getting used to the light. That was a good thing. Clearing her throat, she took his hand in hers, threading her fingers into his. “You didn’t wake me up…”

“You did not ask me to,” He answered after a pause. Trying to get his brain to wake up, she thought with a smile.

“I implied that I would like you to…”

“No. You asked if I would make love to you. I said yes.” Now he sounded awake. “I did not say when.”

Shay smacked the back of his hand and laughed. “Ok. You got me there.” She shifted, then pushed his arm away.

Kane let her go, watching through half open eyes as she went into the bathroom. He still did not know what was happening here. But he wanted, needed, to find out. Getting into bed with Shay this morning had felt…right. Good. He’d pulled her close and had held onto her, lulled by the feel of her breathing, of her heartbeat.

Several minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Shay came out, stretching her arms over her head. Her tank top rode up, exposing the smooth skin of her stomach. “I think I’m going to take a shower…”

She never got a chance to finish her sentence. Kane was up, taking her into his arms, kissing her. She gave a startled gasp and kissed him back, grabbing his arms so she wouldn’t fall backward.

When he finally broke for air, Shay looked up at him in shock. “What…was that for?”

“I don’t know.” He brushed at her hair. “Just…felt like it.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over her forehead.

“Do you want to…take a shower with me?” Shay asked. She suddenly felt very shy. It was one thing talking about things like that when it was heat of the moment.

Kane was studying her. “If you want me to.”

“Maybe…do more…than take a shower?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes. Much more than just a shower.”

“Good. Because uh…ever since I saw you in the locker room the other night, all I’ve been thinking about is licking water off your chest.” Shay ducked her head in embarrassment, then turned and went into the bathroom. Kane gaped at her for a moment, a smile forming on his lips. Shay motioned to him and he followed her into the bathroom, tugging his shirt over his head as he walked.

17

Shay stepped under the water, wetting her hair, letting the spray hit her full in the face. It was a good thing, a great thing, her dad had talked her into installing a separate shower in this bathroom. Kane would otherwise have to wait outside for his turn under the water.

She heard him shut the shower door, and turned to face him. “I think all I have is girly soap. I don’t know how…uh…thrilled you’ll be about smelling like flowers.” She smiled at him.

Kane didn’t reply. He reached over her shoulder and picked up a bottle that was resting on one of the built in shelves. She watched him as he poured some into his hands and rubbed them together, making it foam. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deep. Ah…coconut. It was shampoo, not soap.

Shay jumped as she felt his hands lightly touch her shoulders. He gently worked his way down one arm, then the other, coating them in the sweet smelling lather. She sighed with contentment as he began stroking his hands over her upper chest and neck, sliding down bit by bit, centimeter by centimeter. He rubbed the soap over the tops of her breasts, down the sides, the curves at the bottom, then back up to coat her nipples.

She bit back a moan. He didn’t linger. She was disappointed. His hands were moving down her stomach now, making her jump nervously at the light touch. He smirked at her reaction, but continued, stooping down to lather her thighs, her knees, her calves. He made his way back up her body, pulling her toward him so the spray from the showerhead wouldn’t wash away the soap in his hands.

Her breasts were barely brushing his chest. He was erect, his cock touching her stomach. She fought the urge to press closer against him, letting him run his hands up and down her back, over her butt, back up to her shoulders. She was completely covered, her body tingling from his slow work with the lather.

He stepped away from her, gently moving her to stand again under the water. Shay turned, washing all of the soap away, shaking as his hands slid up and down her back, her sides.

“Your turn…” she moved, letting him stand in the spray. Shay watched him as the water flowed over his body, taking in his wide shoulders and back, his tight thighs, his ass…she couldn’t help herself. She reached out and ran her fingertips over the upper curve.

Kane made a low noise and turned to face her. Water was cascading down his chest in ripples, off his shoulders, down his legs. Her eyes settled on his cock for a moment. And grinned wickedly. Reaching for the same bottle he’d used, she poured a generous amount of soap into her hand. He started to step out of the water, but she stopped him, dropping the bottle to put a hand on his chest.

He watched her as Shay stepped toward him, eyes now locked on his water covered chest. The water from the showerhead just barely cleared his shoulders, little trickles of wetness slid over his smooth skin and down his stomach. Sighing, Shay leaned forward and kissed his chest. Her tongue darted out, catching a drop of water as it trickled down. She felt him take a shaky breath, smiling against his warm chest, her mouth and tongue working him over.

Shay slid her lips across him, stopping to flick her tongue over one flat nipple, sucking on him gently, then moving on to the other side. Kane relaxed, eyes closed, head tilting back into the spray of water as she continued to pay worship to his chest and stomach, dipping low playfully bite at his navel.

Shay made a fist, the shampoo in her hand spreading to cover her fingers and palm. She smiled against his skin as she reached for him, taking his cock into her hand. Kane hissed in a breath at the contact, startled at her sudden change in direction. She straightened, resuming her slow exploration of his chest with her mouth and tongue.

She held him in a loose fist, not moving for several minutes. Experimentally, she slid her hand up his shaft, the soap adding lubrication to the water. Kane moaned softly, and Shay did it again, slid her hand up and down, not squeezing him yet, just lathering him up as he’d done her. The soft sounds of pleasure he was emitting were just about enough to get her going anyway. Already she felt like she was going to lose her control. Her nipples had hardened into tight peaks. She could feel the familiar heat licking through her body with each moan that came from his mouth.

Deciding it was time to stop playing, she squeezed him gently, still stroking, twisting her hand a bit to increase the friction he was feeling. Kane put his hands up, bracing himself on the shower walls on either side of him, his hips moving in time to her ministrations. Smiling against his chest, her own breathing growing heavy, she doubled her efforts, pumping him in her fist. She slid her other hand around, cupping his ass, urging him to keep moving.

The man had iron control. Shay gasped when his hands touched her shoulders, pushing her away. She started to reach for him, but he shook his head, turning to rinse the soap away from his body.

Shay waited, then reached around him to rinse the shampoo off her hand. She yelped when he grabbed her arm, turning around and jerking her against his body, almost knocking the wind out of her.

“You can’t know how much I want you,” He said hoarsely, ducking his head and brushing his lips over hers. Shay murmured something unintelligible. What could she possibly say to that? His erection was rock hard against her stomach, throbbing, hot. That was enough proof for her.

Kane moved, forcing Shay to walk backward until her back was against the cold tile wall of the shower. Ducking his head, he kissed her, gently at first, then with more passion, his tongue passing her lips, sliding against hers, tasting her. She melted against him, gripping his biceps, holding on. It was slow and deep and completely…mind blowing. She couldn’t think. All she could do was feel him, respond to him.

Kane released her mouth, bending down to run his tongue over her neck, nipping her skin with his teeth. Shay shivered as his hot breath puffed over the water on her skin. His hands slid up her sides, over her ribs, until he was cupping her breasts, his thumbs stroking her nipples. She moaned, raising her hand to stroke his head, urging his mouth lower.

He went as his own leisurely pace, giving her a taste of her own medicine. He was licking and sucking the water from her skin, slowly moving down a little at a time, not missing a drop. It was driving her crazy.

When his mouth finally closed around one erect nipple, she cried out, pressing herself forward. His sucked gently, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, using his lips to tug on it. Shay was trying to push him away, the sensations almost too much for her overheated body.

Kane made an amused sound low in his throat, then turned his attention to her other breast, repeating his torture. One of his hands slid down her stomach, between their bodies, seeking her center. Shay was whimpering, feeling his fingers slip into her folds, stroking the silky flesh. He gently rubbed her clit with one finger, barely applying pressure, his mouth still teasing her nipple.

Shay’s body shivered, tensed, nearing orgasm already. She groaned as he pulled away, mouth and fingers stopping their tantalizing caress at the same time.

He pressed his lips to hers briefly, then slid his mouth across her cheek. “I want to be inside you when you come. I want to feel you…” His deep voice was a whisper.

“Oh…” She took a shaky breath. “Yes…I want you inside me.” She blushed a little. Would she ever get used to this…talking…during sex? He seemed to like it. She made herself form the words. “I want you to feel me. I want to feel you. All of you.”

Kane sucked in a breath at her words. She’d obviously done the right thing. He straightened up, looking down into her eyes, his own dark with barely controlled desire.

He slid his hands down her sides, to her thighs. Shay squealed as he lifted her, spreading her legs. She clutched as his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist, his hands going under her buttocks to support her. He moved so that her back was against the wall, the weight of his body holding her still. She could feel his hard cock pressed against her folds, and shifted a little, getting the most of the contact.

Kane murmured, using his hands under her butt to lift her higher, spreading her open. She could feel the head of his cock pressing into her. Digging her nails into his shoulder, she let out a satisfied moan as he slowly lowered her, his cock slipping into her body, inch by throbbing inch.

Not used to this position, Shay tightened her legs, wondering what to do next. Kane moaned, apparently that was right. She slowly began to flex her thighs, using the big muscles to slide his cock in short slow strokes in and out of her body. His hands guided her movements, helping her to lift and lower onto him, pressing her tight against him when he was fully sheathed.

Shay tilted her head, kissing him as she rode him, moaning as she felt her orgasm begin to build strength. It was going to be over too damn fast, but she couldn’t stop now if she wanted to. She wanted him too damn much.

She could feel his cock swelling inside her, feel it throbbing. He was close to the edge himself. She broke their kiss, tilting her head back against the wall, screaming out his name as she came, her body locking onto his. Kane uttered one final moan, letting the feel of her climax take him over, his fingers digging painfully into her ass as he came deep inside her.

Panting, Shay finally relaxed against him. Kane held her, murmuring calming non-words. When he finally moved, she thought it was to put her down. Instead, he reached behind him and cut the water off, then opened the shower door.

“Wh…” She had to find her voice. “What are you doing?” She asked as he carried her out of the bathroom.

“The bed,” He said softly. “I want you in the bed. I want to go back and do all the things I missed the first time.” Shay shivered at his words, hanging on to him as he easily carried her toward the big bed. It was too much, this feeling inside her, this wanting inside her. It would probably destroy them both. For the time being she didn’t care. She just knew that she had to have him, whenever, wherever, and that was all that mattered.

18

Kane had not been joking.
Late in the evening, finally admitting that they were hungry for something other than each other, Kane had gotten dressed and headed out to get some food for them. Shay could barely move. She felt absolutely, positively wrung out. She was content to just lay back, propped up by pillows, semi-dozing with a blanket pulled over her.
The phone next to the bed rang. Shay eyed it and decided it wasn’t worth the effort of reaching for it. She had an answering machine after all. It hadn’t had the workout that Shay just experienced.
She heard the front door open and smiled. She was starving. Kane appeared in the doorway, carrying several large bags. “I thought you wanted to eat?” He asked. She was lying in the exact same position she’d been in when he’d left.
“Mmm…I do. I didn’t say I wanted to get up though,” She grinned and finally forced herself upright.
Kane shook his head. “Lazy…” he turned and walked back the way he’d come. Shay grabbed her robe and followed him, breathing deep. Chicken. Hopefully the extra crispy kind. Her stomach growled as she walked into the kitchen. Kane was taking the food out of the bags, spreading it out across the table. She stopped in her tracks, watching him. There was something so domestic about what he was doing. She glanced around, noticing for the first time that he had indeed cleaned up her mess from the night before. Had, in fact, done a better job than she would have.
It took her a moment to realize he was looking at her, head cocked to the side, eyes questioning. She managed to smile and move to the table. She told herself not to freak out…just because the man had washed a few dishes did not mean they were committed for life.
They ate in silence for a while. She was not aware of the looks Kane kept giving her. She was lost in her own thoughts, which just a while ago had been so damn content.
“What’s on your mind?” She hadn’t noticed him move his chair. Shay jumped when his voice came not across the table from her, but directly beside her, near her ear.
“I…uh…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. We seem to have gotten…familiar…” She was at a loss to explain what she was thinking.
He looked as perplexed as she felt. That was a relief. She sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I guess I’m not used to this kind of thing.”
“What kind of thing would that be Shay?” He asked, curiosity in his voice.
Shay took a bite of chicken, chewing it thoughtfully before answering. “The last relationship I was in…” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just seeing you differently now. Not different in a bad way, just different in a way I’m not used to.”
His eyebrow went up, and he offered Shay his lopsided smile. He leaned forward and brushed a kiss over her lips. “Do you think it is possible that you will get used to the way that I am?”
Shay smiled. “You keep washing my dishes and feeding me, and that’s a definite yes.”
“And that is all you would expect from me?” He said softly. Shay looked at him, a little shocked that he was actually joking around. Another little hidden personality quirk he’d decided to lay out bare. She wondered if she’d ever get to know the real Kane, the one he tried so hard to hide underneath all that anger.
“Well…” She drawled the word out and pretended to think it over. “I did say that this wasn’t just about sex…” She tapped her finger against her chin. “But I suppose every now and then I’d want to do that too. You know…just so we don’t get rusty at it.”
His smile broadened. Shay felt her heart melt at the sight. An honest open smile. She hoped she would land on a soft spot on the floor when she passed out. Nervous suddenly, she reached for her food, tearing a piece of chicken and aiming it for her mouth.
Kane stopped her hand, bringing it to his own lips, using his teeth to pull the piece of meat from her fingers. He winked at her, then put her finger into his mouth, sucking on it before releasing her hand.
“You…are…bad,” She said slowly. Worn out as she was, her body had responded immediately to the playful contact.
“Yes.” Kane did not elaborate.
Shay took a slow deep breath. “You drive me crazy. You really do.”
“Yes.” Again. He was suddenly going into non-talkative mode. His smile had disappeared. He looked so damn…intense suddenly.
“Uh…I’m a little teapot?” She asked, trying to get some kind of different response from him. She didn’t like that look in his eye.
“Yes.” The smile had returned. Shay playfully smacked his arm.
“Don’t do that freaky stare thing at me. I was starting to get the feeling that dinner was over and I was dessert.”
“Aren’t you?” He asked, looking decidedly baffled. Shay giggled.
“Um…you had dessert first, remember?” She looked at him, smiling. “I…uh…I’m not sure I could go again without risking serious injury. I’m wiped out.”
“Hmm,” he made a low noise, and pulled his plate to him to continue eating. “We can do other…things. Besides sex.”
“There’s a novel idea,” Shay said with a grin. “Uh…but we’ll still have sex later on right?”
“Of course.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. Had me worried for a second there.”
Kane smiled, digging into the mashed potatoes on his plate. Shay followed his lead, picking up her fork to resume building up her strength. A thought struck her.
“Um…aren’t you missing a house show right now?” She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was after seven.
Kane shook his head, swallowing before answering. “I do not have a match tonight. Tomorrow I have to go.” He shrugged and looked at her. He didn’t have to ask.
“You are of course staying right here with me,” Shay said softly, smiling at him.
“All right.” As if she had asked. Had he honestly thought that she’d kick him out after the day they’d spent together? Not freakin’ likely. He’d be lucky if she let him go to work tomorrow.
Shay reached out and smoothed her fingers down his cheek. “That is…if you want to. I mean, you don’t have to stay here if you have somewhere else you need to go. I don’t want to hog all of your time off…”
Kane took her hand and kissed her fingers. Oh boy, that again. A shiver worked its way down her spine. “There is nowhere else I would rather be.”
“Ok, good,” She smiled and gently pulled her hand away. She was not kidding, she really did need a while before they got hot and heavy again. At least an hour. Her grin widened.
Kane’s eyebrow quirked again. “Now who is looking for dessert?”
Shay laughed. This waiting was going to be harder than she thought. “All right. What do you suggest we do while we recuperate?”
“I…” He stopped and shrugged. “I do not know.”
Shay laughed. Good, this was just as weird for him as it was for her. “How about a movie? We can make popcorn and just lounge on the couch and zone out…” It sounded heavenly to her.
“All right,” Kane nodded and pushed his plate away. “I’ll clean up…”
“No…” Shay shook her head. “Leave it for later.” She finished off her chicken. “I’ll make the popcorn, you go in there and pick a movie. Doesn’t matter which one as long as it’s something scary with absolutely no redeeming plotline at all. Don’t wanna have to think about what I’m watching. My brain is rebelling.”
Kane smiled and kissed her cheek, then pushed away from the table to do as she asked. She watched him leave, then followed his example, getting up to find the microwaveable popcorn.
When she was ready, Shay went to the living room, balancing the huge bowl and several cans of soda. Kane was already on the couch, sitting with his back against the armrest and his legs propped across the cushions. She nudged him, making him spread his knees, then sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest. He reached around her, relieving her of the soda, putting it within reach on the coffee table. Ditto the popcorn. Then he pulled the entire coffee table over until it was just inches from the couch.
“Now who’s lazy?” Shay asked with a laugh.
“I am not lazy. That stuff would just get in my way.”
“Get in the way of what?” Shay asked, curious. She didn’t think a bowl of popcorn was going to block his view of the television.
In answer, Kane’s arms went around her, holding her close. She sighed happily and reached for his hands, twining her fingers through his. They settled comfortably to watch the movie that began playing out across the screen of the television.

19

Saturday afternoon, as she checked into the hotel, Shay found herself attacked. By Trina of all people.

“Woman! Where the hell have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Do you know how fucking worried I was?” Her voice was raised, drawing curious stares from the other people in the lobby.

“Jeez…” Shay smiled, backing off a step. “I was home. Mostly. Or at my mom’s house. I didn’t realize I was supposed to phone in and let you know what I was doing.”

Trina eyed her, head tilted, eyes narrowed. “Ugh. All right!” She threw her hands up. “So you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”

“Tell you what?” Shay smiled innocently. Perhaps Trina would like details of what she and Kane had done. She’d be waiting a long time to hear them.

“Ugh,” She repeated, turning and stalking off. Shay watched her go, laughing.

She gathered her things and headed for the elevator. She wondered if Kane was staying here. Most likely. The guys tended to flock together.

She had fallen asleep during the movie they’d been watching. She vaguely recalled being carried into the bedroom and tucked in. A while later they’d made love. It seemed so dreamlike now…nothing really stood out, it all seemed to just flow together in her mind, making her smile. He’d been so damn gentle with her…as if afraid suddenly that she was going to break.

She’d woken up the next day to an empty bed. Kane had left before the sun came up, not bothering to tell her goodbye. Shay had been disappointed, but dealt with it. It wasn’t like he could actually just take off…she knew where he worked. He had in fact told her that he would be leaving. She had just hoped…

Shaking her head, she found her room and went inside. When it came to that man, she didn’t know what the hell she was thinking. But she was starting to like the feeling.

After resting for a little while, Shay decided to head over to the arena. Most likely the other trainers would need help setting up, and she could hang out with Trina in makeup for a while. Ease her mind a little bit. Either that or talk Bubba into keeping her more fully occupied in the future. Grinning, she parked her rental in the lot behind the building and went inside.

The usual controlled chaos was not evident. It was a house show, not a TV taping, so the urgency didn’t seem as great. Most of the guys would hang out at the hotel until close to the show; a few had come in to catch a quick workout. She saw Rob inside the training room, lifting weights, joking around with one of the ring crew guys.

“Hey,” She walked in, settling herself on one of the weight benches that lined the room. Rob looked at her and grinned brightly.

“Well...vacation musta been nice,” He said with a wink. Shay grinned back.

“Sure. You should try it sometime.” She watched as he worked for a minute. “How’s the back?”

“The…Oh!” Rob laughed. “Not a problem. I told you it was nothing.” He dropped the weights and moved to sit next to her on the bench. “Although I have been having some…uh…inner thigh problems that might require a bit of medical attention.” He comically leered at her, making her laugh.

“All right. I’ll get one of the guys to give you a thorough exam.” Giggling at the expression on his face, she stood up to go. Turning, she came up short. Kane was standing in the doorway, staring at them.

Rob was still talking. Shay managed to tear her eyes from Kane and focus long enough to catch the word “Slash” at the end. She smiled automatically.

“Right,” She agreed, wondering what exactly it was she’d agreed to. “Uh…I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later…” She was already walking away. She looked up and was surprised to see that Kane was no longer in the doorway. He’d left as she turned to say goodbye to Rob.

In the hallway, she glanced around. How the hell did such a big guy move so damn fast? She could just go find out where his locker room was…

She was on her way to do that when Trina grabbed her, pulling her into the makeup room, chattering in excitement. Shay might have caught every third word. She nodded occasionally, trying to appear as if she were enthralled with everything Trina was saying. But something was…wrong. The way Kane had been staring at her, just so…blank. Cold.

The show was starting. Realizing that Trina was looking at her in perplexity, Shay managed a smile, and made off toward the med room. She was supposed to be working, not pondering her confusing, mixed up love life.

Shay got through the night. Nothing major happened, which was a wonder. Everyone seemed laid back, no infighting, no uproars. The show went off exactly as planned, and soon the arena was emptying.

She made her way through the halls, smiling in distraction at people who hailed her. The feeling that something was wrong had intensified as the night went on.

Shay stopped in front of Kane’s locker room door, wondering how many times this particular scenario was going to play out. Without bothering to knock or announce herself, she pushed inside, closing the door behind her.

If Kane was surprised to see her, he hid it. He looked at her with no interest and continued to pack his bag, his movements methodical.

Shay licked her lips and stepped toward him. “Um…is something wrong?” She asked cautiously. Of course something was wrong. It would take an idiot not to see it. Just a few days ago, Kane had been relaxing with her, smiling, talking. She hadn’t seen him like this since…well, since before he’d started pursuing her.

He did not answer. His movements became more…stiff. As if he were fighting back against whatever it was he wanted to say.

“Kane…” She closed the distance, reaching out to him. Her hand brushed his arm and he jerked away as if burned, eyes locking with hers for the first time. Shay gasped and took an involuntary step back at the barely controlled fury she saw there.

“Do not…touch me.”

His voice was devoid of all emotion. Shay stared at him in confusion. “Wh…Kane…what’s wrong? Tell me…please.” She bit her lip. Watched as he sucked in a deep breath to calm himself.

“You. Me. We are wrong.” He finally said. There was no regret in his words, no infliction at all. As if it were a robot talking.

“We…what are you talking about?” She was still confused. Kane stepped forward, towering over her. Shay refused to back up any more. He’d had her against the wall one too many times.

“I can’t give you…whatever it is that you need.” He finally spoke. “I tried to tell you. You would not listen. You gave yourself over to me for nothing.” He laughed cruelly.

“But…I thought…”

“You thought wrong.” He leaned closer, eyes narrowed. “Haven’t you learned already, that I can not be trusted? That I am not what you think I am?”

“What are you talking about?” Confused, Shay stared back at him. “The other night…”

“Was a lie, Shay. All of it a lie. I feel nothing. Not for you. Not with you.”

A slap to her face would not have been as effective as his words. “You…you’re lying…”

His mouth tightened into a grim line. “I’ve had my fun with you. You were an…interesting distraction. For a while.” Shay took a shaky breath, fighting back tears. “I never feel anything. Never.” As if to emphasize his words, he gripped her chin in his fingers, forcing her to keep eye contact. “You thought that you would change me. I can not change. You would do well to keep yourself away from me from now on Shay. Find a man who can give you what it is that you think you are looking for. A man who can feel what you want him to feel for you. Someone normal.”

“Kane…” She blinked a few times, struggling not to cry in front of him.

“Get out of here Shay.” He released his grip, pushing her away from him. Shay stumbled a bit but caught her balance.

“But…”

“Out!” Now the emotion was there, the cold fury that had been dancing just under his surface. Choking back a sob, Shay turned toward the door. She gripped the handle, not opening it yet.

“You used me.” She said softly. Perhaps trying to get it into her own head. Hadn’t she thought of that very thing? She’d be used and dumped, another plaything to pass the boring time on the road?

“We used each other.” His tone was flat, final. “Leave.”

Shay took a shaky breath. “I can’t believe that you…” Oh no. She couldn’t fight them back forever. Tears began spilling down her cheeks. At least her back was to him. He wasn’t actually seeing this display. “I hate you…I fucking hate you.” she whispered. Shay tore open the door, not waiting to hear his response, running down the hall toward the exit and her car, hoping like hell that nobody would see her crying like a baby over a man that had just ripped her world apart.

20

Shay wanted to just curl up and not move. That would be excellent.

She’d been up all night. Crying. Crying over some stupid guy who had just been playing with her after all. And she’d fallen right into it hadn’t she? She had no one to blame but herself.

Someone had knocked on her room door. Shay had ignored it, pacing back and forth instead. A while later, another knock. Then a phone call. Knock, call, knock. Could they not take a hint? Shay did not want to so much as look at another human being. She was too ashamed. Of herself. For acting like a wanton slut.

She’d finally gone to bed. And had tossed and turned restlessly. Every time her eyes closed she’d feel his hands on her. Frustrated, she rolled over, putting her pillow over her head, trying to muffle the replay of his words from earlier.

As soon as the sun came up, she was packed and ready to go. She didn’t bother with checking out, screw the ten dollar keycard deposit. What was ten bucks to someone who’d just been trampled over? Cursing under her breath, she lugged her bag down to her rental car and loaded it, wanting to hit the road and be holed up in her room at the next hotel before anybody even noticed she’d taken off.

She almost made it without being seen. She had forgotten that it was a pay per view that night; Raw was sharing the duty with SmackDown this time around. As she got off the elevator on her floor of the new hotel, she ran right into Kurt.

“Shay!” He hugged her. Damn him. How could he be so chipper at this ungodly hour of the morning? She muttered a greeting, not wanting to meet his eyes.

Kurt did not let her pass. “What’s wrong?” The concern in his voice was almost too much. Shay laughed harshly. It was either that or cry again, and she felt wrung out already.

“Nothing. I’m just spiffy,” She tried to move around him but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Come off it. What happened?”

Shay surprised herself by sniffling. Oh brother. She cursed herself now. This was getting to be ridiculous.

“Come on…” Kurt grabbed her bag from her, swinging it over his shoulder. He used his free hand to grab hers, dragging her along the hallway to his room. He made her sit down on the bed while he made a phone call. Shay was vaguely aware of his end of the conversation. Apparently he’d been on his way to the gym for a workout with one of the other guys.

“You gonna talk, or do I have to drag out the photo album and bore you into spilling your guts?” He tried for a light tone. Shay didn’t even try to smile.

“What makes you think anything is wrong?” She asked. Even her voice sounded watery to her. She sniffed, then reached for the box of tissues that was sitting on the bedside table. She blew her nose, then dabbed at her runny eyes.

“Uh…I am not blind. Nor am I some kind of oblivious supernerd. I just play one on TV,” He sat down on the bed next to her. “Come on. What is it?”

Shay looked at him. “I can’t tell you. It’s too…”

“Shay…” He put an arm around her.

She rolled her eyes but leaned against him, letting him hug her. “Remember that guy I was telling you about?”

Kurt thought for a moment, then nodded. Shay sighed. “Uh…I decided to take your advice.”

“What…you got him beat up? Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped.”

“No. Uh…the other part. You know…sleeping with him to get him out of my system.”

“Oh? Oh!” Kurt squeezed her. “Damn it. I was just kidding. I didn’t mean for you to literally go and…”

“I know. But things happened and I ended up…” she shook her head. “He used me. I think he was just seeing how far he could take me. Before he…you know…got bored.”

“Shay…that’s crazy. Who’d do something like that?”

“Kane.” Now she met his eyes. He looked shocked.

“Kane? Kane was the one chasing after you?” At her nod, he sputtered, seemed to gather himself, then spoke. “Tell me. Everything.”

So she did. Left out most of the x-rated stuff. Told him word for word what Kane had said to her the night before. She had no trouble remembering that part; it was permanently burned into her memory.

“That son of a bitch,” Kurt said when she’d finally stopped talking. She felt…slightly better. Not good. But not as bad as she was before.

“It’s all my fault. I fell for it.”

“No it is not your fault!” Kurt surprised her with his emotion. “That asshole used you for whatever sick little game he was playing. Waiting until you…” He trailed off and glanced at her. Shay looked back expectantly.

“What?” She finally asked, tired of his silence.

“You love him.”

Shay blinked. And visibly flinched back. “No.”

“Yes. Oh my God…” Kurt slapped his forehead. “You do! Why else would this tear you up so bad?”

“Uh…maybe the fact that I was used and discarded like yesterdays garbage had something to do with it,” she said weakly.

“Right, and instead of staying there and kicking his ass for it, you spend the night crying your eyes out over him.” Kurt shook his head. “Sounds like love to me. He hurt you in a way that can’t really be fixed. Not by me anyway.”

“No…” Shay took a deep breath. The love thing again. She didn’t even really know the man. How could she be in love with him? “I don’t…love…him.” She forced the words out.

“Sure. And I’ve got a full head of hair.”

“Stop trying to be funny.”

“Oh, but I am funny,” Kurt said, voice serious. “Funny enough to see what I see. Do you think Karen and I had it easy? Or have it easy now? Hell no. Love is hard fucking business. Don’t even bring up having kids when you’re…uh…Shay?”

Shay had groaned and closed her eyes. “Ok, shut up.”

“What?” Kurt was all concern again.

“I’m such a fucking moron!” Shay stood up and grabbed her bag.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Want to share? I’m in the dark yet again.”

Shay went to the door, sighed, then looked back at him. “I just realized…all the times we…uh…” she shrugged. “We never used anything. Protection-wise.”

“Oh…man…Shay…” Kurt made as if to get up and come to her. She shook her head.

“Don’t, all right? I need some time to myself, to think.” She offered him the saddest smile he had ever seen. “Uh…you’re not going to…”

“No. I’m here for you to talk to when you need me. But that’s as far into your business as I’ll go.” Kurt promised solemnly.

Shay hung her head. “Thanks. I’m going to go worry myself sick for a while. See you at the arena,” she went out the door before he could say anything.

God. Why hadn’t she thought about the possibility of getting pregnant? It had never entered her head. At all. EVER. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she kept muttering under her breath.

And the whole love thing, well…Kurt had a woman. Was happily married. Didn’t all married people want to see their friends in relationships? He was reaching. She did not love Kane. Nope. No way. She hated him. Yes. That was good, she almost believed it.

She found her room and went inside, trying to think in twenty directions at once, her mind spinning. She lay down on the bed, just wanting to stretch out and think. In minutes she was asleep, her exhaustion finally catching up to her.

21

Shay went to the med room and stayed there for the rest of the night, not bothering to even glance at a monitor. She just didn’t give a damn anymore. She ran on autopilot, not joking around with the guys like she usually did.

Trina paid a visit. Sitting up on the exam table, she was quiet, watching Shay work on her laptop. “You know…” Trina sighed. “Um. What the hell is going on with you? I feel like I’m in the dark here.”

Shay rubbed her eyes and glanced at her friend. “Look…I’m sorry I didn’t answer the door or the phone last night, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody.”

Trina raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t go to your room.”

“You didn’t?” Shay frowned. “You’re the only person I know who is that persistent.”

“Uhh…well…me and Kane,” Trina said with a laugh. “What?” She saw the look that crossed Shay’s face. “When Bubba and I got in from eating, he was walking in the hall where your room was. Maybe he was the one knocking.”

“I don’t think so,” Shay said softly. Knocking was not his style. Breaking down the door when she didn’t answer…that was Kane. And why the hell would he be at her door? After what he’d said to her…

“He looked like somebody had just kicked his dog or something,” Trina said with a smile. “Kinda weirded us out. Usually he just looks like…well…Kane.” She shrugged. “What did you do that boy?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now,” Shay said as the med room door opened and one of the trainers stepped inside. Trina nodded thoughtfully.

“Uh…we’re having a meeting after the show. You going to be there?”

Shay groaned. She had forgotten. Every pay per view they gathered all the talent and backstage help together, going over an issues that needed to be hashed out. It invariably ended up being social hour. Shay did not want to go; unfortunately the bosses had deemed it mandatory.

“Come on. Bubs and I will escort you,” Trina said, trying to draw a smile.

“Great.” Sarcasm was her fallback position. “If either one of you makes one joke about a threesome…”

Trina giggled and slid down from the table. “I promise we’ll behave ourselves. We’ll make an appearance, then we’ll get the hell out of here. All right?”

Shay nodded. She shut off the computer, then stood to follow Trina toward the main arena. The show was coming to an end, the fans were trickling out. A crowd of wrestlers and backstage people had formed at the entrance to the stage. Waiting until the people had cleared out so they could gather down around the ring, as was the usual practice.

Trina left Shay leaning against a wall and went to find Bubba. From her corner she watched everyone come and go, chatting excitedly about the show they’d just put on.

“Hey…” Deep voice. Right beside her. Shay turned warily and looked up at Mark. Shit, she hadn’t seen him in months.

“Taker.” She always called him by his wrestling name. As did most of the roster. It was just a habit.

He was looking at her, concern evident. What the hell was with people and this pity crap? Shay wished he’d just go away. They had not been particularly close, just talking occasionally back when he’d traveled with Raw.

“You Ok?” He asked. He’d lowered his voice. Shay shrugged.

“As Ok as I ever am. Why?”

“Because that brother of mine is an idiot.” Mark said, shocking her.

“What?” Shay looked at him. The look on his face was dead serious.

Mark sighed. “I know what’s been going on.” He saw her move and reached out, taking her arm. “Don’t run off. I’m not gonna pressure you into anything.”

Shay sagged back against the wall. “What the hell does he want from me?” She asked. Mark shrugged.

“He likes you. Maybe more than likes you. In case you hadn’t noticed, he doesn’t handle that stuff very well…”

“No shit.” Shay brought her hand up and rubbed her temple. “He has a funny way of showing it.”

“He’s afraid of you.”

Shay burst out laughing. Several people turned to look at them.

“That’s a good one. What could I possibly do to him? Kick him and bruise his shin?” She asked sarcastically.

“Not physically,” Mark corrected. “You know what I’m talking about. Don’t be so hardheaded.”

“Me, hardheaded?” Shay looked at him, incredulous. “Look, it’s obvious that he’s talked to you.” At Mark’s nod, she went on. “I don’t suppose he told you exactly what he said to me.”

“Yes he did.”

Shay raised an eyebrow. “Oh, and that makes me the hardheaded one. He told me he fucked me because I was an adequate distraction. What was I supposed to do, melt at his feet?”

“He’s just very confused,” Mark said softly.

“No shit.”

Mark frowned at her. “Maybe he’s not the only one.”

“What does that mean?”

“Kane has never had a…girlfriend. Well, except for that one chick a while back. But that was just for the show.” He shrugged. “He really doesn’t know how to handle something like this.”

“Something…like…what?” Shay said slowly. “I was not his girlfriend. Just a…a…piece of ass to him.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Right.” He sighed heavily. “Look, I’m not going to go through and tell you everything that he said to me. At this point I think I am the only one he even bothers to talk to. But I will tell you this…he’s so damn sorry, Shay. He’s regretting what he said to you. It’s killing him.”

She couldn’t help it. “Good. I hope it’s a long slow death then.”

Mark surprised her again. “I know you do. You’re hurting. He hurt you. I just wanted you to know that it’s not just a one way thing.”

“I never hurt him,” Shay said, losing all of her fire.

“No. He hurt himself.” Mark rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Just…keep in mind…he’s never gone through anything like this before. Ever. Don’t hate him for giving in to his nature. It’s the only thing he knows that he can count on.”

Shay closed her eyes. “I told him that I…”

“Yeah, I know.” Mark squeezed her arm. “That you hate him. It’s what he wanted. Then when you said it…I don’t know. Reality check. He wanted you to hate him because he thought it would be easier to break off with you that way.”

“Your brother is a moron,” Shay said flatly. Now it was Mark’s turn to laugh.

“No argument there.” He said with a smile.

“I can’t go through all this again. I just can’t.”

“I understand. I just thought…” Mark sighed. “I know how Kane is, better than anybody else around here. You were getting close. He’s not some cold emotionless monster. He let you in, farther than I’ve ever seen him let anybody get.”

“For all the good it did.” Shay glanced around, noticing the people around them were moving into the arena. “I can’t change the way he is. He said so himself. I can’t even be his friend now. It hurts too damn much to even think about him.” She finally admitted, meeting Mark’s eyes. “I’m sorry if he’s hurting. But there’s nothing I can do about it. He brought it on himself.”

Mark nodded. “I know it. So does he.” He gave her arm a pat, then stood straight. “I’d say something stupid like ‘give him another chance’ but I know that he’s dug himself a rather deep hole here.”

“There’s an understatement,” Shay said. She spotted Trina, pulling Bubba along behind her, heading in their direction. She glanced back at Mark, who was still looking at her in concern. “I’m not going to go crawling to him every time he pitches a fit. I’m not going to be his outlet when he gets frustrated. I can’t put myself through that. I thought I could, but look what it got me…” She shrugged.

“I know.” He smiled at her. “I’m through playing go between here. He’s going to have to fix this on his own, if it’s even fixable. I just wanted you to know…” he shrugged.

“Thanks. I think,” she was more confused if anything. Mark wandered off toward the stage entrance.

“What was that? Trading war stories with Taker?” Trina asked, pulling Shay from her thoughts.

“Something like that,” Shay managed to smile at them. Bubba was grinning. “Uh…you promised no threesome jokes.”

“Damn it!” Bubba poked Trina in the ribs. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Just stand there and look adorable Bubbles,” Trina said sweetly. Shay smiled in relief as they playfully argued, leading her toward the stage entrance.

The smile died on her face when she saw him. Leaning against the ring, arms crossed. He was scanning the crowd. She quickly averted her eyes, not wanting him to see her looking at him. She could feel Kane’s eyes on her. Damn him. He had said he didn’t want her anymore…why couldn’t he just go away and let her mope and get on with her life?

Nudging Trina and Bubba, she turned to their left, away from the side of the ring where Kane was standing. They sat down several rows back from ringside. Shay forced herself to follow Bubba and Trina’s conversation, throwing in her two cents occasionally. If she could just pretend things were normal, then maybe they’d go back to being normal. She could hope anyway.

22

Two weeks passed.

Shay threw herself into work, getting to the arena early, staying late. The medical department had never been so caught up before. She avoided contact with pretty much everybody. Except of course for Trina, who had finally managed to get to the bottom of Shay’s strange behavior. Shay had broken down and spilled everything, including the x-rated details. Most of them anyway.

Trina’s reaction made Shay feel better anyway. She wanted to kick Kane’s ass. Or get Bubba to do it. Or maybe both of them would do it. Shay had talked her out of it, swearing her to secrecy.

And here she was. Another arena, another town. She’d managed to avoid Kane, discovering that she could do it if she didn’t really try. If he appeared, she ignored him, pretending he wasn’t there. He never tried to speak to her or even approach her. He apparently had given up on the late night knocking on her hotel room door after the first time had failed.

She had a much bigger problem on her hands. She’d run to a local drugstore when she had thought she could slip out unnoticed. And now here she was, in an empty locker room, staring at a blue line.

She sank down onto the floor, her back against the wall, holding the stick in her hand. “Fuck…” she managed to spit out. She’d been late. Then she’d woken up this morning feeling nauseous. She had spent the last two weeks telling herself that she was just worrying over nothing, she couldn’t possibly be pregnant. But there it was, in blue and white. Damn it.

She stayed that way for a while, letting it sink in. She was pregnant. With Kane’s baby. How was she supposed to feel about that? Elated? Pissed off?

She actually felt…nothing. A bit sick to her stomach. That was about it. She was still in shock, Shay supposed. She’d brought this on herself. How could she have been so incredibly stupid?

Finally standing up, she tossed the stick toward the garbage can then went out in search or Trina. Might as well update her on the rest of the pitiful drama going on in her life. Maybe some outrage from her friend would break this wall of nothingness that seemed to surround her.

Shay found Trina in the makeup room, listlessly going over some paperwork, looking bored. She took one look at Shay’s face, got up, and closed the door.

“What is it? You look like you got hit by a Mac truck,” She steered Shay toward a chair, making her sit down. “You didn’t have another run in with that asshole did you? If he said anything rotten to you, I’ll…”

“No. Haven’t seen him,” Shay picked at one of the armrests with her fingers. “Uh…I just took a test. I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Trina almost shouted the word. Shay sighed and closed her eyes.

“Yup. Knocked up,” She took a deep breath.

“Oh God…Shay…” Trina took the chair next to her and rested a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to say. Congratulations? Let’s go castrate that cocksmoker? What?”**

“I don’t know.” With a sigh, Shay started pulling out the pins that held her hair. “I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. Except I feel like throwing up.” She shook her hair loose, then grabbed a brush and began running it through her tangles. “I want you to cut my hair.”

“Sh…huh?” Trina looked confused. Shay had switched gears rather suddenly.

“Hair. Cut. Scissors?” Shay reached for them, then held them out to Trina.

“You’re kidding right?” She reached out and touched Shay’s hair. It hung halfway down her back in tight waves.

“I’m serious as…well…as a pregnancy,” Shay said with a humorless smile. “I want it shorter. Not short, mind you, just…shorter.”

“All right. If you’re sure…” Trina was reluctant. Shay had been acting strange for the last few weeks, and now she knew why. But she seemed so damn distant. As if some of the life had gone out of her.

Shay closed her eyes as Trina went to work. With every snip of the scissors, she flinched inwardly. Before Trina was finished, she was crying, tears slipping from her eyes and down her cheeks.

“Done.” Trina said softly . She noticed the wetness on Shay’s face. “It’s not that bad Shay,” She tried for a light tone. “I mean…you’re not bald like old Stoney.”

Shay uttered what might have been a laugh and opened her eyes. Standing up, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her head felt at least ten pounds lighter. Trina had cut off at least eight inches of hair. The ends curled just below her shoulders. She’d layered the back a little too, giving it some lift.

“It looks…different,” was all Shay could say.

“Yeah.” Trina looked at all the hair on the floor. “But…good. It suits you I think.”

Shay managed a smile. “Yeah. Thank you…” she turned and gave Trina a hug.

“Next time, highlights,” Trina mumbled. She felt like crying now.

“We’ll see.” Shay stepped back, then reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m pregnant.”

“I know. You told me.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Shay said softly.

“You’re going to have a baby, dumbass. And you’re going to be a fan-fucking-tastic mother. Or Bubba will probably put you through a table.” Trina grinned, watching Shay as she smiled. The first real smile she’d seen in a long time. She hated to be the one to wipe that smile off her face, but… “What about…uh…”

“Kane.” Shay closed her eyes. The smile disappeared. “I’m not going to tell him.”

“But…how are you going to hide it from him? I mean…how are you going to explain walking around with a bowling ball under your shirt?”

“I’m not going to explain anything. But I’m not going to tell him either. At least…not until I absolutely have to. He didn’t want me. Why would he want this baby?” She put her hand against her stomach, for the first time feeling…being almost overwhelmed with the need to protect the tiny life that she carried.

“Shay…sometimes babies change things. He might want to know he’s going to be a father,” Trina shrugged. “You won’t know til you tell him.”

“Yes. True. But what he wants is no longer my problem.” Shay said, voice steady. She looked at Trina. “You can’t tell anybody. Not yet anyway.”

“I won’t,” Trina promised.

“Not even Bubba.”

Trina made a face, then nodded. “All right. Not even to Bubbles will I speak of your delicate condition.” Trina smiled hesitantly. Shay smiled back. Damn, it was good to see that spark come back into her friend’s eyes. “The power of a good haircut. It works every time.” Trina observed dryly. Shay snorted.

“Yeah? Maybe it was just the hair weighing my brain down so far that I couldn’t think.” She rubbed her stomach absently. “I have a million things to do. Call a doctor. Get pills. Good grief…buy baby stuff…”

“Dude…you have nine months.” Trina said with a laugh.

“There is that.” She sighed.

“Kane’s not going to just…go away Shay. You know that right?”

“Yeah. I know.” Shay shook her head. “Neither am I.”

She walked out of the makeup room on Trina’s laugh. She was pregnant. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. The word kept running through her mind. She couldn’t believe that she was suddenly so…optimistic about it. Had she wanted kids? Yeah, sure, who didn’t. She’d kind of hoped that she’d be married first, of course, settled down. The old American dream and all that crap.

She wondered if she was already suffering a hormone induced mood swing. Then stopped wondering. She put her hand over her mouth and took off running for the nearest bathroom. She could definitely do without the nausea.

Twenty minutes later, she was in the med room, feeling almost human again. At least her stomach had settled. She checked her schedule, then called her doctor in Florida, setting up an appointment for the next week on one of her days off. That done, she got herself some water and settled in to what she hoped would be a fairly quiet evening.

23

Her doctor confirmed what her body already knew. She was pregnant. Had most likely gotten pregnant during her first night with Kane. Shay tried not to think about it. It seemed like being with him had happened a lifetime ago.

She could avoid him indefinitely At least that’s what she thought. A few weeks after her doctor appointment, she realized that she hadn’t seen or heard of Kane since she’d gotten her hair cut. She’d been too busy to watch any of the shows. She hadn’t even noticed him at the pay per view meeting. Maybe she was finally getting over it.

Then again…maybe not. She should have realized what he was doing. In retrospect, it was just so damn like him. Waiting until her defenses were down to come in for the kill. She was leaving the arena one night, jingling her car keys in her hand, when she became aware that she was not alone. From warm fuzzy baby thoughts to that weird prickly sensation on the back of her neck that told her she was being watched.

Shay turned and took a step back, gasping, her back pressing into the side of the car. Kane was directly behind her, looking down at her, his face unreadable in the dark parking lot.

“What do you want?” She managed to squeak out. God, he’d scared the hell out of her. She ignored the butterflies in her stomach.

He didn’t answer right away. Only stood there, looking at her. Shay fidgeted nervously. “You cut your hair.”

She looked up at him, eyebrow going up. “Yeah. So? What’s it to you?” She did not want to be here with him damn it. He probably just wanted to send her crashing again. She was not about to let that happen.

He sighed, shaking his head. Shay watched him, waiting. Again he seemed to have undergone a personality transformation. Where was that anger toward her, that coldness? Apparently taking a vacation.

“Look…if that’s all you wanted,” She started to turn, reaching for the door handle. Kane made a low noise, making Shay freeze in place. She eyed him warily. “I don’t really feel up to playing any of your little games, Kane. Why don’t you go find your mother ship and return to your home planet with the other pod people?” Ahh…hatefulness. Time had given her at least a bit of perspective.

He said nothing to that either. His eyes were on her, moving to take in the features of her face. Shay had the uncomfortable feeling that he was trying to memorize every detail.

“Are you done yet?” She asked him, although most of the anger had gone from her voice. She just wanted him to go away. She did not want to see that look of pain in his eyes, damn it. It was all just some stupid trick. She could not fall for it again.

“I’ve missed you.” He finally said, speaking softly.

“Right. I’m sure you have someone else to fuck as a replacement, so why don’t you go screw her?”

“There is…no one else,” He sounded as if he were forcing the words out. As if he was literally choking on them.

“Oh, well then. Should we just jump in the backseat here and go for it then?” She asked, motioning to the car with her hand.

“Shay…”

“Shut up.” She finally broke, all the sarcasm leaving her. “Just…go away.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” He said, ignoring her plea.

Shay laughed. “What happened to not feeling anything for me? To…to…” She hitched in a breath. Damn hormones. She was going to cry.

“I lied, Shay.” He hung his head.

“You lied about a lot of things,” she said with a sob. Fuck it. He’d hurt her. If she cried, she cried. Maybe it was time to have it all out.

“I know…” he looked at her, watching as tears formed and rolled down her cheeks. He reached toward her, wincing as she jerked back before he could touch her. “Will you let me try to explain?”

“Explain what? That you just used me for some sicko head game to amuse yourself with for a while?” Shay angrily wiped at her eyes.

“No…” He seemed to gather his thoughts. Shay waited him out. “I…told you that I can’t give you what you want. The emotions. The feelings…”

“Right. You’re just dead on the inside.” She said it in a flat voice. Kane seemed not to have heard her.

“When I saw you with Rob, I knew I could never be enough for you. Never. I am not like other men. I do not have an easy way of being around people, of being close to them.”

Shay sniffed, but didn’t reply. Kane sighed and rubbed one hand over his face. “You need someone better than I am. Someone who can share everything that you want to share.”

“We were sharing you dumb ass!” Shay said heatedly. She’d had enough of holding her tongue. She shoved his chest, surprising him into taking a step back. “That couple of days at my house you were opening up to me! You dropped your guard! And I fuckin’ loved it. You were what I wanted damn you. All of you, not just that little part you chose to show me! Then you fucking ripped my heart out and stomped it on the ground!” As she spoke she kept shoving at him, angry beyond words. She wanted to hurt him, as she’d been hurt. Wanted to see him fall apart, like she had.

Kane let her take it out on him, not making a sound as she hit his chest with her fist. Shay did not even realize that she was crying again. “I do not want Rob. I do not want anybody. I WANT YOU, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!” She yelled the last part, shoving at him again. “I love you…and you threw me away because you were a fucking coward…” She realized what she had said and stopped.

“Shay…”

“No.” Shaking her head, she backed away from him. “Just leave me alone Kane. I can’t go through this shit again. I have too much to lose now.” Turning, she hurried to her car, getting in before he had a chance to recover.

She saw him coming toward the car, and quickly started the engine, pulling away with a squeal of tires. Holy shit. Had she just told Psycho man that she loved him? The dreaded ‘L’ word had slipped out. She’d been upset, angry, confused. But the look on his face when he heard it…Shay blinked back tears, then pulled over, parking the car on the side of the road so she could have her breakdown.

Fifteen minutes later, she was mostly in control. At least in control enough to continue driving. Ok. So she was in love with him. No big deal, he was the father of her baby after all. He wouldn’t return it, wouldn’t even let himself begin to feel that kind of emotion. She laid her hand on her stomach. God, this was so fucking complicated. What the hell was she going to do? Live the rest of her life waiting for a guy who didn’t want to be bothered with such trivial things like emotions and feelings?

Probably. She loved him. “Shit…” Shay dragged the word out. Did he expect her to just give him another chance because he admitted that he missed her? He was right. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

24

Shay asked for a meeting with Michael Hayes. He was one of their road managers, but he pulled double duty, managing the crews who worked behind the scenes. Two days later, she was summoned to his makeshift office. He smiled at her and motioned her into a chair.

“I understand you wanted to discuss your job?” He asked, setting across from her. Shay nodded.

“Actually…” She stopped, thinking. This was harder than she’d thought. “I have just found out that I am pregnant. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to continue traveling with the company for much longer. I’d like to be settled when the time comes.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “I suppose that the first thing I should do is offer my congratulations,” he smiled. “And then ask…are you putting in your notice? We do offer maternity leave.”

“I know that. But…” Shay sighed. “I’m kind of having to go through this on my own. I think it would be better if I had plenty of time to get ready.”

“I see.” Michael leaned back, putting his hands together. “I’ve looked over your performance reports. You’ve got nothing but good recommendations. I’d hate to have to lose you.”

Shay smiled. “Well…I was thinking…”

Michael laughed. “I know that look.”

“A lot of what I’ve been doing is paperwork, working on the computer, catching up files. I’m able to run insurance billing. I was thinking you might consider letting me work from home. I’ll have my computer. The files could be sent to me, I could keep the other trainers from having to deal with the paperwork.”

Michael looked at her thoughtfully. “If we do this, it would mean you’d have to take a pay cut. Since you won’t be on the road, we can’t pay you for travel expenses and the like.”

“I realize that.” Shay said evenly.

“I get the feeling that if I say no, you will put in your notice.”

“Most likely.” Shay was honest. She didn’t want to travel anymore. It was too taxing on her. She felt so tired all the time, and sick to her stomach. She was afraid she was putting too much stress on her body.

“All right. Let me talk to the higher ups. I’m sure we’ll work something out.” Michael stood up. “Give me a couple of days to see what I can do.” Shay rose from her chair and shook his offered hand, then turned to leave. That had been easier than she’d thought. She dreaded having to answer personal questions about her pregnancy. At least he’d focused on the job and not her condition.

Shay opened the door to the makeup room and stepped inside. Trina was sitting in one of the chairs, smoking. She guiltily hid the cigarette, then sighed in relief when she saw who it was. “Damn. You scared the shit outta me!”

“If Bubs sees you with that in your mouth, he’ll knock you out,” Shay said with a laugh. She boosted herself up to sit on the counter.

“Nah. He’d just offer to help me with my oral fixation…” Trina said with a grin. “So…please tell me they said hell no, and you have to stay with us forever.”

“No such luck. He’s going to talk to some people, but I think it’ll work out the way I want it to.”

Trina put the cigarette out and frowned. “I don’t like it. Feels like you’re running away from…”

“Kane has nothing to do with this,” Shay said. Not for the first time. “I just can’t handle being on the road all the time and feeling like I feel. I’m tired. I’m sick. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy being pregnant. Can’t do that if I’m constantly going from city to city, living in hotels.”

“I know. I also know you haven’t bothered to tell him yet. Got to get out before you start to show, huh?” Trina grinned looked at Shay’s stomach. “Already starting to get a gut on ya.”

“I am not…” Shay looked down. True…her clothes felt a little tighter, but that was it.

“So…when are you going to tell Kane he’s going to be a daddy?” Trina asked. This had become her mantra. Shay wanted to smack her every time she said it.

“Eventually.” That was her standard reply. She had not told Trina about her outburst in the parking lot. As far as Trina was concerned, Kane hadn’t been talked to in a month.

“Yah, when the kid is like thirty and Kane’s in some nursing home somewhere,” Trina would not let it rest. “That baby is technically half his. He does have a right to know, Shay.”

“I didn’t say he didn’t. But…” She shrugged. She didn’t want to make him feel trapped. She also didn’t want to come across as trying to use her pregnancy to get him back. She wasn’t sure she even wanted him back. She had to laugh at herself. When had she ever ‘had’ him in the first place?

“Blah. Suit yourself. But be warned. Bubba knows we’re hiding something, and he’s been trying to torture it out of me.”

“I’m sure it’s just been terrible for you,” Shay said sarcastically. Trina grinned.

“I will persevere. Maybe I’ll let him knock me up and we can be pregnant together.”

Shay laughed. “I thought everyone agreed that Bubba was not allowed to reproduce?”

“Look who’s talking. You’re the one carrying Kane’s baby, and I recall someone saying that…”

Trina was interrupted by a cough at the door. Bischoff stood there, face a mask of innocence. “Ladies…”

Shay and Trina shared a look. Oh no. “Sleazy E. What can I do for you?” Trina recovered first. She detested Bischoff and didn’t bother to hide it.

“I need a trim,” He gestured to his hair.

Trina sighed. “All right. If your hair puts chinks in my scissors, you are going to buy me a new pair.”

Bischoff took the seat that Trina vacated, looking up at Shay with a sly look of speculation on his face. Shay took that as her cue.

“Uh…I’ll catch up to you later,” She muttered to Trina. She slipped down from the counter and went into the hallway. She leaned back against the wall, wondering how much Bischoff had heard. Who was she kidding? He’d probably been standing out here the entire time, listening in. Eavesdropping was just his damn style.

She got a definite answer only an hour later. Shay was in the med room, taking inventory when Bischoff wandered in, a grin on his face. She eyed him with distaste. The man just irked her. He was just so…slimy.

“So…” He leaned against the exam table, crossing his arms. “You’re going to have a baby.”

“Yes. Excuse me,” She moved around him and pulled a box of ace bandages from under the table. She began counting.

“And I am gathering that you have not shared this joyous bit of news with Kane?” He was smirking now. Shay could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

“What’s it to you, Eric?” She gave up on the counting. He was going to have his say.

“Oh…nothing. Really.” He grinned, showing teeth that were blinding white. “We’ve been stalling on new angles for Kane.”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Can you picture it? I’ll go out tonight at the beginning of the show…and inform him that he’s going to be a father. I wonder what his reaction would be, hearing it from me?” His eyes were sparkling. “Even better…maybe Shane can give him the news. In case you haven’t been watching, there’s been a rather heated rivalry between them.” Bischoff laughed. “Kane doesn’t take surprises too well. Especially if someone he’s fighting with knows something personal about him.”

“You can’t do that,” Shay said quietly. But she knew better. This man would sink to new levels just to boost ratings.

“Oh, I can and I will. I don’t need your permission. You’re an employee. As you are well aware, contractually we can play off of any element of your life that we want.”

“I am not a wrestler.” She said through gritted teeth.

“No, but Kane is.” Bischoff smiled. “Could be interesting. I’m going to run it by Vince. Nice chatting with you…” He was gone before she could form a protest.

“Stupid son of a bitch…” Shay finally managed to say. This was not good. Definitely not good.

He’d managed to do the one thing that Trina had not been able to badger her into. Steeling herself, Shay left the med room to seek out Kane’s locker room. She was going to have to tell him now, whether she liked it or not. Better it come from her than from those assholes who were running the show. They wouldn’t do anything but hurt him with it. It was what they lived for…

Shay cut off the thought. Why was this need to protect Kane suddenly coming over her again? Hadn’t she already traveled that road? It didn’t matter. He would have to know. She had said once that she would not intentionally hurt him. And she planned on sticking to that promise.

25

Ignoring the people who milled the hallway around her, Shay hesitated briefly before pushing open the door to Kane’s room. She closed it behind her, looking around. His bag was on the floor. Of the man himself there was no sign. The shower was running. Sighing, Shay went to a bench and sank down on it to wait. She closed her eyes, listening to the water run, wanting to just go on in there and join him.

She hated herself for that. He’d treated her like shit and here she was, still lusting after him like some starry eyed groupie. She couldn’t do this anymore. Whether he wanted her around her not, he was going to have to face the fact that they were bound together in a way that he could not destroy.

The water cut off, and Shay opened her eyes, watching the doorway. Kane stepped into the locker room, eyes briefly resting on her. He had a towel wrapped around his waist. If he was surprised to see her, he did not show it. She almost envied him that. It wasn’t so long ago he was scaring the hell out of her when she’d come out of her own shower.

He picked up his bag and propped it on the bench, pulling items out. Shay watched him for a moment, unsure of where to start.

“Um…we need to have a talk.” She finally forced herself to speak. Kane’s eyes met hers briefly. Shay bit her lip at what she saw there. There was no way he could constantly fake that hurt, that wanting. No matter what he said.

Kane sat down on the bench, refusing to look at her. Shay stood and paced the room, nervously rubbing her hands together.

“Something…happened. You have to be ready to hear it.” This was going to be even harder than she thought. She decided to just spit it out. “Kane…I’m pregnant.”

Kane’s head came up slowly. He stared at her, eyes wide. Before he could speak, Shay went on.

“Bischoff overhead a conversation I was having and he confronted me about it. He said he was going to tell you on TV tonight, to use it to get you angry,” she took a deep breath. She was aware of his eyes on her but she didn’t return the look. She was afraid of what she’d see there. “I told him no, not to do it, but…I have no control over what this place uses for their entertainment.”

She stopped pacing, standing a few feet away from him, finally looking at him. He looked completely thunderstruck.

“Shay…” He managed to speak her name. Then seemed to lose track of his thoughts.

“I know I shouldn’t just spring this on you. I wanted to wait and think of a way to tell you when I was more used to the idea of it. But I wanted you to hear it from me. Not from Bisch or Shane. Not on TV.”

When he didn’t respond, she looked down at the floor. “I know you don’t feel anything for me. I don’t expect anything from you concerning this child. But you have a right to know. I’m not going to do something stupid. I’m going to have this baby.”

She stood silent in front of him waiting. Shay closed her eyes, ticking off the minutes in her head. He didn’t care. Wasn’t that what his silence meant?

Shay felt his hands touch her, grabbing her waist and pulling her forward. She uttered a yelp, startled, but went to him willingly enough. She opened her eyes, watching as he unbuttoned the bottom of her shirt. Then her jeans. When her stomach was laid bare, he gently ran a hand over it, caressing her. She had to fight to keep from making any sound.

Kane leaned forward and brushed his lips across the skin just under her belly button. Shay’s eyes filled with tears. Oh God, that gentleness thing again. She knew she was just setting herself up again, knew it, but was powerless against what she felt for this man.

“Do you…” Kane stopped and cleared his throat. “Is keeping the baby what you want? What you really want?”

She surprised herself. “What I really want is you…” She heard his sharp intake of breath. “This baby is a part of you. Of us. You said you felt nothing for me. Or…with me. But I have this baby now, that’s got to mean something.” She sniffled, wiping away tears. He’d resumed his slow, gentle stroking of her stomach with his fingers. “I know that you think you can’t…love…but I can. I can and I am going to love this little one with everything that I have.”

Kane pressed his forehead against her stomach, taking a deep breath. “I was so wrong.” It was barely a whisper. Shay had to strain to hear him. “You were right. I am a coward. How can I expect you to believe me now? After the way I treated you…” he sighed, his breath sending a shiver down her back. “I don’t know what to do to make it better.”

“I don’t know if you can,” Shay said sadly. She raised a hand and stroked the back of his head. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Mean what?” He muttered against her stomach.

“When I said that I…that I hate you. I didn’t mean it.”

Kane closed his eyes and made a soft noise low in his throat. Shay cupped his face in her hands, gently urging him to look up at her. “I love you,” she looked directly into his eyes when she said it. Watched the confusion on his face, the hurt, the disbelief.

“Shay…”

“No. You listen to me. I love you,” She traced her fingers down his cheek. “You have a show to do in fifteen minutes. I know you can’t…or won’t…admit that you feel anything for me. Nor do I want to hear it right now.” She saw him frown in confusion. “Come to my room after the show. If you want me, if you feel anything for me, if you want to make it better, you come to my room and you show me, damn it. No more games. No more hiding. If you don’t come…then…then…” She took a shaky breath. “Than I’ll know you don’t feel anything for me. I’ll take my leave and I’ll have this baby, and we can just get on with our lives.”

She didn’t wait for his answer. She stepped away from him, buttoning her shirt and jeans, missing the contact already but ignoring the feeling. She gave him one last look, then turned and left the locker room.

This was it, his last chance to open up to her. Shay knew that after tonight, one way or another, they would both find closure. She only hoped she was doing the right thing. She could only be setting herself up to be hurt again. But not knowing was what was killing her. Kane would have to either admit that he had feelings for her or live his life a lonely man. Either way it would soon be over.

26

Shay did not bother staying for the show. She pleaded an upset stomach and headed to the hotel. It wasn’t a total lie; although she didn’t know if it was nerves or the pregnancy that was making her feel so queasy.

She’d taken a shower, slipped on a robe, and crawled into bed to rest for a while. She fought the urge to watch Raw. Better to not know what was happening. She was sure she’d find out soon enough. She’d taken the phone off the hook. Hopefully Trina would not decide to do a little visiting after the show. Shay for once hoped Bubba was feeling his usual randy self; that would keep Trina’s mind off of Shay’s problems.

She had not meant to fall asleep. But she was so damn worn out…she curled up on her side and dozed off.

She woke up with a start, eyes seeking the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was after three in the morning. She forced herself to relax against the pillow, trying not to cry. All right. That was it then. No Kane. She hadn’t slept that deeply, she’d have heard him if he knocked.

She was resigned to it then. Raising a baby alone. Loving a man who would not love her back. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her watering eyes. Hadn’t she cried enough over him already? She’d said that she would move on. Too bad her heart wasn’t going to let her do it so easily.

She shifted a little, stretching her legs out. And felt the bed shift again when she was still. Frowning, she started to roll onto her back, but stopped short when a hand crept around her, resting lightly on her stomach.

“Kane?” She almost could not say his name.

“You were sleeping. I did not want to wake you,” his voice was soft, low. She closed her eyes.

“How did you…” She didn’t finish. What did it matter? He was here…that was the important thing. “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

Kane shifted, moving closer, pressing against her back. “I was not going to. But…” he sighed. “I could not stay away.”

Shay uttered a weak, choked laugh. His hand was still on her stomach, lightly rubbing. “I’m…glad.” She finally managed to say. She put her hand on top of his.

“Shay…” Kane’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “I was miserable without you.”

“Yeah?” She took a deep breath. “You’re not just…saying what you think I want to hear?”

She felt him shift again. He propped himself up on an elbow to look down at her in the darkness. “No. I mean it.” He stopped and seemed to think for a moment. “I pushed you away. Because I thought that was what was best for you. I am not an easy man to know, to be with. And I wanted to hurt you too. Before you would hurt me.”

“I wasn’t going to…”

“Shay…” He stopped her protest. “You would not do it on purpose. The way that I hurt you. Seeing you with Rob hurt me. Seeing you with any other man hurt me. Seeing you sharing yourself with them hurt me. Because I thought that was something that I would never have.”