Scene 1 ~ Intergender Match? No Problem, BEEOTCH!
The scene opens up backstage. Coach is seen walking down the hallway when he walks past the Women’s Locker room. He quickly stops, noticing the door is open a crack. He peeks in and sees Trish Stratus. Trish appears to be undressing. She starts to take off her top. Coach smirks, knowing that he is about to see Trish topless...
Suddenly the Hurricane appears next to Coach, standing in his way.
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “What are you doing?!”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “I, Citizen Coach, am just protecting my tag partner for this Friday Night... Trish Stratus.”
Coach appears to be very angry about this “missed opportunity.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “You know what... fine. Have it your way. But I will get something out of this. Right now, I want an interview with (mocking voice) the only superhero in the FWE, the Hurricane.”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Fine. But make it quick. My HurriSenses detect that danger is near...”
Coach rolls his eyes.
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Yeah, whatever. First of all, what is your reaction to your name being thrown around quite a bit lately in the FWE?”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Well, I realize what you are getting at. Raven disguising himself as the Hurricane... WHASSUP WIT DAT?!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “How should I know? But just talk about who attacked you.”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Who attacked me?! I have no clue who attacked me. My HurriSenses could not detect who this mysterious person was. But whoever it was cost me my first loss here in the FWE. Then during my match, my music plays and out walks Raven dressed as... the Hurricane!”
The Hurricane looks directly into the camera.
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Raven, I will let your little charade pass this time. But next time, you won’t be able to mock the Hurricane as easily. Next time I will show everyone exactly what you are... a BEEEOTCH!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “So, not that I really care... but how are you feeling after that attack? I mean... shouldn’t you have still competed in your match? You do have HurriPowers and everything.”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Citizen Coach, I did try to heal quickly before my match... but alas, I was too late. But right now I feel perfect...”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “But... how... how did you heal so fast?”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “I used my HurriPowers... BEEEOTCH!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Uh huh. Whatever you say, Hurricane. Now moving on to your next match on Fury. This will be an intergender match and your partner is the very sexy Trish Stratus! Your comments?”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Yes. Myself and Trish will be taking on Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon. It will definitely be a tough match for the Hurricane. But I have faith... I have faith that we can beat Chris Jericho... that we can beat Stephanie McMahon. Trish also lost last Friday Night and I know that we both are hungry for revenge.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “I could care less about your match, you dummy! I just want to know if your going to put a little move on Trish!”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Put a move on Trish? Why would I give my own partner a move? Do you think I want to lose this match?!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Not that kind of move... oh, just forget it! Anyways, last Friday, Chris Jericho was scheduled to be one of your opponents. However, Jericho did not show up. Do you believe this is a sign of things to come?”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Citizen Coach, Chris may not show up on Friday. But I have to be ready nonetheless. Jericho is a tough competitor and he has that ruthless aggression that everybody wants. But no matter how tough or how much ruthless aggression he has, he will never be a match for my HurriPowers!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “I’ve heard enough about your HurriPowers... so just get out of my face!”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “Citizen Coach, it is not good to raise your voice in public. It may spread fear throughout the little children nearby. You can believe what you want about my HurriPowers, but the fact still remains... they are real and they do work. I will show the world that they work this Friday Night.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “But...”
| ‘The Superhero' Hurricane | “No more out of you, Young Jonathon. Now week in and week out, I have said that I am the only superhero in the FWE... but that may not be true... and that is all I leave you with. ‘Till next time, take care... and if you are ever in need of help, just flash the HurriSignal!”
Hurricane gives the thumbs up before flying off. Coach watches Hurricane leave as he walks back to the door of the Women’s locker room. He starts to smile and then slowly opens the door...
Standing in front of him in the room is none other than Daily Globe reporter, Gregory Helms!
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “What? But how did you...?”
Coach looks around, but no sign of the Hurricane.
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “Hello, Mr. Coachman. It appears that something is troubling your mind.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “How did you change your clothes so fast?”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “Change my clothes? I assure you, Mr. Coachman, that these are the same clothes I have been wearing all day.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Yeah, right. Everybody knows that you are the Hurricane!”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “You think I am the Hurricane?! WHASSUP WIT... excuse me.... what is up with that?”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Don’t deny it, Gregory Helms. You and the Hurricane are one in the same.”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “I don’t know where this rubbish has been coming from. But I assure you, I am related in no ways to the superhero known as the Hurricane. He is just a very close friend.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “You don’t have any friends!”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “Me? I am not the one without friends... you are. I mean just think about it... who walks around all day looking for interviews? The answer is a man with no life and no friends!”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “What are you talking about? I have plenty of friends. Each and every one of the Coach’s peeps are his friends. But let’s get this straight... who’s interviewing who here?”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “I’m interviewing you... BEE...”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Aha! You were about to say “BEEOTCH”... which is a signature quote from the Hurricane. Therefore you too are the same person!”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “I am sorry, Mr. Coachman, but you are terribly mistaken. If you did not interrupt me, you would have found out that I was going to say ‘I’m interviewing you... be on your best behavior.’ That’s what I was going to say.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “You were not... wait a minute! Why am I wasting my time here with you? Where’s Trish?”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “I’m guessing you are referring to Trish Stratus. My best guess is that she is with the Hurricane.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “Which would mean she’s with you.”
| ‘Daily Globe Reporter’ Gregory Helms | “Coach, I am starting to grow impatient. I’ve had enough of these accusations. For the final time, I am not the Hurricane. I am just a simple reporter for the Daily Globe. Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Coachman, I have an interview scheduled with the Hurricane.”
| ‘FWE Interviewer’ Coach | “I’d like to see that...”
Gregory Helms walks off as Coach continues to look around the Women’s locker room. In the background, the shower is heard running. Coach starts to smile once again as the shower turns off. Coach walks up to the shower door, expecting a diva to walk out. However, Mae Young walks out with a towel wrapped around her.
Coach’s face contorts in a disgusted face as he runs away. Mae walks after him...
| ‘The Very Old’ Mae Young | “What? You don’t want some???”
