What? A T Drake promo? In Outlaw Wrestling!
Tommy: "Correction dude. It's Outlaw Championship Wrestling now."
I knew there was something odd to it. OCW...doesn't have the same pizaz as OW does it?
Tommy: "Coarse not Holmes!"
Suppose I should describe the scene. Our scene opens in the serene setting of the high rise apartment non other then Tommy lives in. The place is well..a bachelor pad. Two leather recliners, coffee table, forks, spoons, and pencils among his expensive items. We focus in at the kitchen area. We focus because we can. The small hum of a microwave is heard as inside we can see mashed pertaters, some left over ham, turkey and what appears to be a half eaten dinner roll. From nowhere(and we do mean nowhwere) out stroll Tommy. He's casually dressed in his thursday finest, meaning a spiffey Vikings hoodie, some casual and baggie khaki pants, and some American Eagle Hushpuppie shoes. He gains a fork via promo MAGIC and pops open the microwave, ending it's wailing as he grabs the hot plate with food and brings it over to his lovely black leather recliner, setting it on the coffee table as he looks to the camera, beginning to speak.
Tommy: "Ya'know? This is a time of thanks isn't. I mean it is thanksgiving for people like me, and Canadians pay thanks to everything so damn much, they get the holiday off. Crazy aint it? Point aside holmes, I suppose I should count my blessings. First off I'm blessed to y'know, have left overs to eat. I mean c'mon, is there anything better then leftovers?"
Tommy: "Good point, but we'll be kiss asses later. I'm thankful for a chance to come back and well...kick some ass. And entertain some peeps. I'm thankful for an opportunity to get an opportunity for what many consider an underclass title, which it could be but c'mon, when Cannon Storm is running things can you blame them?"
Guess I can't holmes.
Tommy: "Zactly. But yeah. This Devon guy. Man maybe he needs to relax or something. Or maybe he needs to get his ass kicked..really really badly. Wait, that wouldn't help. Now Devon, you strike me like the kind of guy who was spoiled as a child. You were one of those popular guys in high school. Living the life, you were the "shit" is that the gansta phrase of the day?
Tommy looks off camera and nods back to whoever nodded to him. I bet it was Demise.
Tommy: "Now you talk about me having to make a name. Now let's take a stroll in memory lane Mr.Devon. Do you by chance listen to that blazing, hell raising, Jared Blazer praising crowd last Sunday? Did you listen to them when they knew who I was? Now as I see it, I'm Tommy Drake, T Drake, the INNOVATA of INNOVATION! The Certified freakin Badass! The other american Northern Star!"
Tommy: "Long story holmes. Now where was i? Oh yeah, your a spoiled brat man. You put yourself in too high of a light. Big deal, you're a two time tag champion. C'mon, everyone knows your still nothing compared to "esssssse" Hugo. I mean, in your two tag reigns have you had any measure of awesomeness like he did? Of coarse not, because your standard is so low and your image is so high man. You need to ground yourself. I mean, I like to brag and boast just as much as you, but atleast I'm pushing the boundaries and backing it up unlike you man. And that's what gets on my nerves.man. I mean you rant about being the best and all like me, but you fail to deliver. And when you lose, you whine and whine such god knows it couldn't be your fault maybe? Just maybe man?"
Tommy takes his certified fork, making a few ladies swoon over as he digs in with much leisure. He picks up some turkey, stuffing his face so to speak as he munches and contently. With a quick swig of whater..Hey how the hell did that get there?
Offset Prob Guy: "Oh, I put it there a minute ago."
Oh..ok. Tommy continues on.
Tommy: "And this other guy, Brett Rivers was it? You go on about how you won those pretty lil belts of your but c'mon man. You do realize you were about to lose if it weren't for me. I mean, I hate to break the news to you, since I know you're going to take it hard to find out that you're nothing but paper champions. Sure you pinned good ole Devon with that spiffy lil move of yours but without a warm taste of a certified boot to Devon's face, well frankly you'd be without that belts. And nothign would be really different..I don't think man. Well point is, you're not worried about the match? Good for you! But you just blew your chances mean, I'm sorry but I'm Tommy Drake, and your kind of not. That's a problem. So let this match with me, be an education in "Why Tommy Drake is Tommy Drake and you not Tommy Drake". Make sure to carefully note that I'm quite frankly an innovator of innovation as stated earlier. You'll see my fly, death defy, and most importantly CER-TI-FY your ass. Because I can. That and a world title shot sounds great."
Tommy gives that beautiful toothy grin that you can't help but make your heart swell. He pops his knuckles digging into his food more and chomping it down. Chomp chomp chomp. Some more chomping, and swallow. There we go.
Tommy: "Now fans, I know what your thinking. It's time for T Drake to cut a rap about this Drake C fellow. You konw, that polker playing holmes who's into pushing around his friend, which his buisness. Not mine. I mean, I'm no a judge."
Judge: "But I am!"
From off camera busts in a man, adorned in an old "whig" outfit and court judges robes. Tommy Drake just stares at him.
Judge: "Fine...I can see when I'm not wanted. Court ADJOURNED!"
With that, the judge storms out of Tommy's apartment. Tommy sighs as he looks at the camera.
Tommy: "As I was going to say. Drake C and I can discuss each other face to face. No need for silly promos. So tonight, on this fine thanksgiving, I leave you with some wisdom. If Age is just a number, does that dollar bills just some paper, or a year old moldy milk just something to drink? Think about it."
Fade to Rune Archer!