Our scene opens with a blank screen. Oddly enough you hear drum beats...and slowly we descend into another scene, how spooky! Our scene cuts oddly enough to a scene strait out of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Sarah and John Connor are driving very quickly in oddly enough, Tommy Drake's silver low rider truck, with The Hives "Mad man" lightly blaring in the background. They drive in frantic through traffic as they are oddly enough being chased by two men, running rather quickly on foot. Both adorned in their respective wrestling attires they are non other then the two men who stand in the way of Tommy Drake becoming CCW's Flyweight No. 1 contender, Dragon Jones and Jason Carter.
John: "What are we going to do mom!"
Sarah: "I don't know! Look at how fast they're going! Or how slow we're moving!"
It suddenly comes to the viewers realization that they are in fact driving on a conveyor belt. You know the old type for old school movie chase scenes and such. Suddenly to their alarming notice a man in black sunglasses, black leather jacket, black T-shirt, and black leather pants, holding a sawed off shotgun runs up to the vehicle as the Connors attempt to dodge...uhh, traffic?
Man: "Let me in."
The man says in the worst imitation austrian voice you could most likely imagine. The camera peers to his face as we recognize him as Tommy Drake. Hey Tommy, how are you?
Tommy: "I am the Drakeinator 101, but I'm good narrator."
He says as emotionlessly as possible which in the end has his breaking out into a little laugh as he abruptly jumps onto the bed of his truck as he opens the little window panel, Sarah and John speaking to him.
John/Sarah: "WHO ARE YOU?"
Tommy: "I am the Drakeinatah! A hip hop, certified android sent back through time to become the numba one contender for the CCW flyweight championship."
Sarah and John just look to each other as the Drakeinator shoot's random vehicles that happen to be close to the pursuing DJ and Carter look alikes. By the way, did you guys just notice how it suddenly changed to an actual chase scene and not some silly conveyor belt blue screen stuff?
Wal-Mart Monkey Look Alike: "MEOW!"
The Wal-Mart Monkey look alike is a cat with a little monkey outfit on. Kind of cute don't you think? Or disturbing in a dream sequence promo type way. John begins to converse with the Drakeinator.
John: "So you came back to win a pro wrestling match?"
Tommy: "Affirmative. If DJ 1000 and the Carternatrix win the match judgment day shall fall upon the earth and you, John Connor will lead the rebel forces."
DYNAMIC MUSIC!!!! John looks at him with fear and surprise.
John: "Against who?"
Tommy: "Eh, just humiliating examples of quick wit and surprise that these guys seem to have a knack for showing. That and these cool looking machines that will attempt to destroy the human race."
Tommy said, completely breaking out of the Drakeinator voice as he coughed, resuming the Arnold Schwartzennger esque voice as he looked back at the pursuing look alikes, also speaking aloud to Sarah and John.
Tommy: "I will stop them at Summersault, that is the only place they can be beaten at."
Sarah: "How come?"
Tommy: "This story peaks there, thus meaning a more climactic finish. Imagine if I just beat them now in a wrestling match. Where is the build in that."
Sarah nodded as the Drakeinator took his sunglasses, eyeing the sun so high above as suddenly the car swerved a hard left, the Drakeinator falling out of the bed of the truck onto the high way! Oh no! Are you ok? DJ 1000 and Carternatrix are coming you way along with Wal-Mart Monkey. Tommy responds in the emotionless way.
Tommy: "I am fine."
This is it folks. DJ 1000 and Carternatrix charge in on the leather clad Terminator version of our Certified hero. DJ charges in but Tommy extends his right arm, DJ running into it, pretty much clotheslining himself as he falls to the ground as it hit by a shotgun blast at close range, convulsing upon the highway, now emptied.
Tommy: "Bring it Carternatrix."
And so the Terminator version of Jason Carter charges in on the certifed badass, leaping into the air, going for a spinning heel kick as Tommy merely moves out of the way, Jason landing on his back, holding it as if he just had his spinal chord broken. He speaks in a very deftone voice, as if reading off cue cards with difficulty.
Carternatrix: "Oh, I am defeated. The Drakeinator has prevailed...again. I shall lie here as I rot into pieces and eat pie."
Through Tommy Drake promo magic, the Drakeinator turns his back, the setting magically turning to night as the look alikes are gone, and Tommy Drake is now adorned with fancier sunglasses, a very long black trench coat with black boots, his hair slicked back. If you want a picture, it's Neo from The Matrix Reloaded. He stares about as he speaks like he was before, lacking emotion, or more so speaking tone deaf.
Tommy: "When confronted with choice. I choose the fork, not the spoon, the knife or the fork. I am not an anomaly programmed into the essence of WWA's matrix. I am the one. Or I am just damn good."
He looked down at his hands as he stared about, suddenly surrounded by thousands and thousands of Agent Jones...D. Jones that is. laying their in a pile of scrap metal is Jason Carter.
Agent Joneses: "Good evening Mr. Drake..."
Unison popping of knuckles and necks! Damn that's scary.
Tommy: "I swore I killed you last scene during the Drakeinator sequence?"
One of the Agent Joneses steps forward to speak to Tommy.
Agent Jones: "Oh, that was my stunt double. Don't worry."
Tommy nods as he stares about, getting in a combat position. Oddly enough some beat box music begins.
"Your antics cannot save you from your downfall.
Your choking chicken monkey can't make the save
I'll be number one contender of it all.
Oh dear I hope your name's not Dave.
Carted messed with me
And look what he got
It's like 50 cent said Dee
Mess with me and you get shot
This isn't a threat
This is reality
Want to make a bet?
I'll see what you got.
Carter's skills were left home to rot
And you dig bestiality!"
The various Agent Joneses and Wal-Mart Monkey's charge in on Tommy as suddenly we blur out from what was apparently a dream sequence as our scene opens up with Tommy lightly napping on his couch as he abruptly wakes up.
Tommy slowly recollects his senses as he eyes his TV, the main menu of his Terminator 2 DVD displaying, the sound muted. He shakes his lightly grizzled hair as he looks down at his coffee table, seeing a Matrix: Reloaded action figure of Neo just chilling their. Tommy Drake rubs his chin idly, just pondering.
Tommy: "Well...at the very least it was a good dream, and 90% of it will most likely come true."
Fade to Black