Ahh...good time wouldn't you say? Drake and Morris are becoming the fastest rising tag team in ye ole land of Titan Wrestling and they get a shot at the golden belts of glory! Wohoo! Go Narrator, its your birthday! Anyway *cough* where we we?
Tommy:"You were setting the scene."
Oh yeah! Thanks Tommy
Tommy: "Anything for my number 1 fan."
Oh you know it. Anyway. The camera's seem to focus inside a well set bar and restaurant with apparently a stage set up with a karaoke machine right next to a tv screen monitor. Its moderately filled with patrons. The current act up on stage is singing Kid Rock's "American Badass" he looks like that fat guy who runs the comic store and has really geeky glasses.
Geeky Comic Book Store Guy:"I! AM! AN AMERICAN BADASS! WATCH ME KICK..."
Focusing on to more important area's of the bar is none other then everyone's favorite "now certified in 30 states" badass Tommy Drake...
Patrons in bar:"YAAAAAAY!"
And the man who doesn't have much to say...but it's still something Russell Morris. The duo, both adorned in casual gear; Russell in a blue silk shirt with a color,dark khaki's and some fairly decent shoes. Tommy is adorned in a blue long sleeve T-shirt and jeans, relaxing in his doc. martins...
Tommy:"You know, watching that man proclaim himself to be a badass just makes me sick. I mean seriously, its just way too easy to become a certified badass!"
Russell just looks at Tommy and Tommy stares back at him. Russell giving that ever so serious gaze while Tommy looks like a deer in headlights.
Tommy:"What is there something on my shirt?"
Smack goes the hand that slaps Tommy upside the head. That hand was Russell's hand. Whaddaya know!?
Russell:"We have a big match coming up this Monday and all you can think about is how that guy is singing some harmless karoake and you believe it to be a testament of his?"
Tommy:"Well of coarse. You should know me better then this Russ."
Russell sighs and grabs his nearby bottle of Sam Adams and looks to the camera, coughing as he begins to speak. The blaring Karoake in the background fading out a bit...
Russell:"Marauders. Everytime I sit through your promo's, sifting out the random cussing and shreds of information I realize that frankly, that's just it. Their is very little truth to what you say. Yes you are tag team champions. Yes you are friendless bastards. Yes you did beat Boxcar Willie, good for you. But have you done anything since you've become champions? Have you even defended your precious tag team titles which my Tommy and I partners this week are boasting around as their? What a wonderful carolina web we weave. Your tag champions yet each week you end up getting your asses to kicked. To be frank I'm not going to lie. The Dudes are the true tag champions and you know. You needed Prime and Brujah to win your title match for you. What kind of competitors are you?"
Tommy:"The kind the doubt the talent of Malice in Wonderland or something. Nevermind me, I'm Tommy Drake."
Tommy steps in line for the camera, coughing loudly as he begins to speak.
Tommy:"Marauders. Such an interesting name I say. I mean you don't loot too much nor are you vagabonds aside from the dates we work as pro wrestlers and all. But seriously guys and gals if we want to get Malice in on the action here. The last time we clashed in the ring you girls lost to a certified badass and hell, you even cheated and lost? I mean not only does that look bad on such excellent talent but frankly it makes our upset victory that much more interesting. But all comments aside. The Simply Thrilling Dudes ponder why we deserve a shot at the tag titles? Well I have a better question to answer! The secret of being "Established in 1873" is the year is if you add up the digits individually you'll discover what year I became a certified badass!"
Russell:"I thought it was..."
Tommy turns and stares at Russell, expressing in facial mannerism "don't go there yo!" And Russell just nods...
Russell:"Mike,Maxx. I personally don't understand how in the hell Tommy and I got tag team title shots. We're the new guys. I mean we beat Willy and Chris Steiner which was well, pretty damn easy. We won by disqualification to Ruthless Aggression which in it's self really isn't a win in my opinion. And as for Malice in Wonderland we just got lucky or something. Either that or we really are good. In the interest of your clouded vision of "fairness" Tommy and I will take up the challenge of starting off the match as just us taking on Marauders and Malice. If we need you, we'll give you the call to get your asses in the ring and show us why you deserve those belts."
Tommy yawns as he takes a sip of his nearby Pepsi®. He just grins at the camera, holding up the Pepsi for the camera in a commercial esque fashion.
Random Announcer for Pepsi Ad:"Pepsi! Are you a certified badass?"
Tommy:"Well damn strait!"
Tommy sets down the drink as the Pepsi crew run off and Tommy takes a few steps after them but Russell stops him.
Russell:"Why are you chasing the pepsi crew?"
Tommy looks at Russell with a saddened glow upon his face. His face appearing so deeply distraught and disturbed.
Tommy: "They promised me a T-shirt..."
In the meanwhile, Russell's sipping his beer and nearly spits it out as Tommy lets the words flow. The beer sizzles out of his mouth, some spraying out in a bit of a mist as he swallows the rest. Russell just sighs and Tommy chuckles.
Tommy:"What is there to say about the Carolina Marauders and Malice that really hasn't been said before? Sure life is nothing more then a repeat of what someone else did but surely there is something that isn't too stale from over usage? This even applies to the Dudes who are paling around with the muppets. I would of preferred the guys from Sesame Street as my posse but hey that's me. Malice, no offense but we know your just aren't certified badasses anymore. But Marauders, are you certified badasses? Innovators of Innovation? Wrestling books with right hooks?"
Tommy grits his teeth and attempts to get in the face of his taller tag partner
Tommy:"HEY! I'm only a coward on Thursdays! And you know damn well that you were sworn to secrecy on that."
Russell just roll his eyes
Russell:"Yeah yeah I know. I'm too uninspired to go any further. You can entertain the camera crew for now."
Suddenly the resident Announcer guy gets on stage announcing the next act.
Announcer Guy:"Ladies and gentlemen! First off my name is Cirv Oyer, your resident MC. Tonight's next act with his own rendition of "Margaritaville". He is a certified badass, the innovator of innovation...TOMMY DRAKE!"
Tommy heads up stage and just sighs as he grabs the microphone.
Tommy:"I can't believe you forgot that I'm a sex symbol to young teenagers, sheesh."
Tommy takes a seat on one of the two stools set up. Tommy coughs and motions for Russell to get up on stage, who complies with very little haste as the crowd claps. Russell grabs a nearby guitar.
Tommy:"I changed the lyrics a bit so hope you don't mind..."
Tommy coughs as Russell begins to play...
"Eating some good cake.
Listening to some T. Drake
Bush's out looking for some oil
Von Erich's got the belt bling
And he wrestled in the ring
The Dudes plan about to foil
Wastin' away agian in Titan Wrestlingville!
Malice hiding in a vault...
Some people say there's a marauder to blame...
But we know...it's only the booker fault.
We don't know the reason
That we're in title hunt season
But Brujah doesn't have a clue
But their real beauties
Two gothic cuties
Why my shirt is blue...
Wastin' away agian in Titan Wrestlingville!
We're heading out to Balt
Some people say there's a Marauder to blame
When they lose it will be Russell's fault
The crowd cheers as they continue to play and we...
Fade to Black