Our extra exciting episode of "Simply Thrilling TV" has sadly been canceled...or more so you changed the channel to open up another promo,the scene a fairly nice two bedroom apartment located in what could be considered from how freaking cold I am Miinnesota...home of the Vikings,Jesse Ventura and most important...the mall of america! Oh wait...my script says its the guys I'm narrating for! Silly,silly,silly me! The shot slides from the dimly lit area as its suddenly sprung to life by the power of the local electric company as the light bulbs scream to life in the kitchen,the lamps turning on with their respective "click" sounds as they turn the switch...The room is decorated with two very comfortable looking leather chairs with spinning feature...the tv already on as the cryptic music and words of Pyretta Blaze and Chloe Brandmeyer are heard as they verbally trash Logan...which I'm A OK with! Slowly admist the darkness the camera pans to one of the chairs...shivering and ravvled in a blanket is Thomas Drake...shivering coldly as he looks at the camera in horror and speaks...
Drake:"I see...dead people...."
The scene hightens with suspense as cresendo of classic slasher flick music builds up with that ever present screaching as we flash to the television with the Malice in Wonderland promo! Drake scared out of his wits! MIW promo! Drake scared! MIW promo! Guy in a hockey mask??! Drake gets up and turns to the guy in the hockey mask.
Drake:"Hey...I think you got the wrong apartment sir."
The man in a hockey mask is tall and well built and adorned in a greyish blue jump suit. He idly handles the clutch to a chain saw...in a cryptic voice he speaks.
Hockey Mask Man: "Be you a member of the Masters of Pain???"
Thomas and the Hockey Mask Man just stare at each for a bit...Drake contemplating and then odly enough bursting into a fit of laughter,dropping the blanket cover to reveal he's in a "Strong Bad" hoodie and some jeans as he slams his fist on the nearby wall. He finally regains as much composure as he can and looks to the imposing man.
Drake:"Hey man! I'm not that lame! They're up the stairs two flights and on the door farthest left. Trust me you can't miss it. Tell 'em I said hi too!"
The hockey mask man just kind of nods and pulls the ripcord on his chain saw which in turn fires the sucker up. With his empty eyes he nods and slightly chuckles.
Hockey Mask Man:"I thought so...you didn't look nearly like a freak as those two guys! I mean they prance around in makeup and armor and got pinned by a backdrop! But yeah...well whatever...good luck in your future pursuits."
Drake merely nods as the Hockey Mask Man with a chainsaw cuts an area that looks like the outline of his body as he steps through,the chainsaw revving as he heads upstairs to get back to work...Out of the hallway Russel Morris walks through the door...literally adorned in a big blue winter coat,some jeans and carrying 3 bags of groceries...his face conveys certainly that...concearn and confusion as he watches a man with a chainsaw exit his apartment and so forth...Russel lifts an eyebrow as he peers to Tommy.
Russel:"Who was that guy?"
Drake merely shrugs with a ever so sexy and stupid grin(yes he is that sexy its stupid)
Drake:"Local I suppose. Forgot to catch his name...swear I've seen him before..ohwell. Apparently Logan did an interview for us and thus Malice in Wonderland responded."
Russel nods as he heads to the kitchen setting the grocerie bags down near the sink as he takes off his winter coat,now showing a nice t-shirt with in japanese saying "Blood Hunter" how I know this...well it says so in my script...anyways. Russel swing back through the kitchen as he comes back to the living room,taking a seat in a lovely leather seat and turning to face Drake.
Russel:"Yeah...I saw it. Basically he made an ass of himself...and never even told us you know the crew wanted to talk and stuff. Suppose we should you know respond to them or something?"
Drake: "I suppose...I wouldn't mind if that Pyretta girl came over to my house...she's a hottie."
Russel:"Hence the name "Pyretta" which could be based off of pyro."
Tommy thanks it over a minute as Russel swings his chair toward the camera,grabbing his remote to turn of the background music from the now TiVO(tm) promo. He coughs and begins to speak as the sound of Tommy in the background gathering up some stuff. Russel begins to speak.
Russel:"Ahh at last I get the chance to finally meet some japan trained opponents. Its nice to know someone these days atleast gives a damn about wrestling and the product and hell what comes out of their traps. We obviously can't...or more I can't hold anything agianst your skills which are at that credible. But I speak for myself at saying this will be another example of what we did last Rising,survived and denounced pretty much ever claim of "destruction" made by Ruthless Agression."
The sound of a bottle cap opening and that odd relaxing "ahh" sound you here in cola commericials is heard as Drake walks out with two water bottles in hand as he walks over to his chair and hands one to Russel. Drake plops down and runs a hand through his spiked hair,an e-mail flashing at the bottom reading "email@example.com" as Tommy coughs and begins to speak.
Drake:"You talented and lovely ladies obviously have well spoken words. I mean not even the...Innovato..."
Russel:"Just stop there."
Drake eyes Russel with an eyebrow up...
Drake:"Oh c'mon! Your just jealous that your not a certified badass!"
Tommy and Russel just stare at each other for awhile until Russel bursts into laughter...Tommy obviously hurt by all of this coughs and continues to speak
Drake:"As I was saying prior to the rude interuption you seem to overlook a few key points in your promo. First off that you come off just a bit weird...I mean no offense but lighten up on the make up a little bit,I mean I was scared I was suddenly seeing the ghosts that haunt my television for the first time that came on! I mean right before that promo was a VeggieTales ad! Second I think you may of had it a confused a bit. We will surive. Their's not a chance in hell my friend over here is actually going to be able to hit you during the entire match...myself I might come close but theirs not a chance in hell he's going to win in our match up. Your too skilled...and frankly my friend over here is scared of women."
Russel's eyes ignite with rage as he looks to Tommy...who just laughs sticking his tongue out at him as Russel remains calm and begins to speak.
Russel:"I'll have you know I faced I many excellent womens wrestlers in Japan."
Drake:"According to my record keeping you lost to all of the women you faced...and resorted to tactics very unlile you..."
Russel just kind of eyes Tommy for a moment and then begins to speak...
Russel:"God blessed us with a manager. Our manager is inspired by an idle mind created by the devil hand. In return we're blessed to wrestle in the finest wrestling promotion in North America. The devil curses us with impossible opponents...God...or so I understand gave us the talent and skills to survive. Through all the strife and the mentioning of the word "God" we come out scathed but not wounded. We have a future here my adversaries. Our slate is as clean as gravel here...we hold no major glory aside from my friend here's claim of being a "certified badass"..."
Tommy briefly interrupts
Drake:"Which I am! I'm certified by the state of Minnesota,Missouri,Iowa and Nevada...Booyah Morris! Boo...Ya..Ha!"
Russel just kind of sighs at the pathetic goof his friend is and sips his water...
Russel:"Pyretta,Chloe...the fact we have clean slate is a bit of an disadvantage to most,seeing as we have no certification in which we can beat you in the ring with. But I will say this however. We have nothign that says we horrible suck. Its time for Tommy Drake and Russel Morris to make a name for ourselves,with or without a manager,with or without a title belt,and we're going to start this Rising."
Tommy stares at Russel like he's crazy...he suddenly begins to talk like a hick.
Drake:"We can't do dat Russ! They too demn good! We'll looose or sometin! We can use dem as lunchin peds for our carerrs!"
Russel:"We can Tommy...victory is not key...but showing the world that indeed we are some of the best damn tag team talents,better then those punks the Marauders for sure,and maybe on parr with the rest of the tag race that we are to be atleast considered a threat...as of now Tommy Drake and myself will stand firm on the decision to prove to you gals and the world that the young blood are the next in line for the world spin as of now. Start the presses,wake up the Canadians...as of the next Rising the young bloods march in to Red Deer,Alberta with a goal..."
Tommy's eyes light up with a brilliance of sunshine...a magnificent beauty of reawkening as Russel grins to himself as he lets the finishing words out of his mouth...
Russel:"Live or let die,take the risk and die, and spend the night with the mat painted with the blood of the Young knowing we are here."
Fade to Black