[swf:004]
[Banay Nays]

01.18.03


...Staggs, my friend .. you have it all wrong. I would have hoped that you would at least have one of your associates there to explain to you what Tommy Grady or myself had said. But it's quite obvious that you didn't. And it's quite obvious that you tried to comprehend it on your own, which is a very scary thing. The idea that he's taking Chris Staggs for granted is beyond a joke, my friends. I think it's quite obvious that Tommy is taking this match extremely seriously. He's focusing on victory. He's focusing on taking that next step to becoming the superstar that he is obviously going to become when the transition is complete. And reguardless of how patheticly low you can crawl -- you are a big step to gaining that respect. Not by your current actions or even your present day ability.. but from your past accomplishments. Nobody doubts that you have the ability within you, Staggs. Nobody thinks you're a no talent limp johnson. You can thank your narrator for that reference. Keep your chin up.. I'd hate for Tommy to smack you down further than the position you've already sank without a little bit of fight in ya...

:::Scene opens up on the outside of a building. As the camera slowly rises up we notice that the sign on the building reads "Skaggs". A bird scatters from within the O as the camera follows it down to ground level where we focus in on two men walking towards the Homeland. The camera cuts to an image of the two walking into the store. It just so happens to be Aaron Everage and Tommy Grady. Aaron walks over to some carts and pulls one out. He begins to push it forward and Tommy steps in front of him:::

Aaron Everage - Move, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - I wanna sit in the basket..

Aaron Everage - That's not possible, Tommy.. the thing would flip over..

Tommy Grady - You callin' me fat, jerko?

Aaron Everage - [moving the cart around Tommy] Yes..

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA! Yo mamma makes two of me, doo! WHATEVA!

Aaron Everage - These shopping cart seats are built for little toddlers, Tommy.. not grown adults..

Tommy Grady - Do they not think adults will come with other adults? A toddler probably came up with the idea, huh? Lazy selfish bastards!

Aaron Everage - They expect adults to be mature enough to walk on their own..

Tommy Grady - They have some high expectations of us, huh, Ev?

Aaron Everage - Not really.. why can't you walk?

Tommy Grady - I can.. but I like being surrounded by a cart of food.. it makes me feel edible..

:::Aaron shakes his head and stops in the fruit section:::

Aaron Everage - You want any fruit?

Tommy Grady - I feel a song comin' on..

Aaron Everage - Please no..

Tommy Grady - I like to eat.. eat.. eat.. apples and banay nays!

Aaron Everage - Stop singing right now, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - I didn't even get to the banoo noos, though..

Aaron Everage - I don't care.. it's hurting my ears..

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA! My voice is platinum and yours is lead, doo! WHATEVA!

Aaron Everage - [to himself, looking at a list] .. let's see.. what's next..

Tommy Grady - You didn't get my banoo noos!

Aaron Everage - I got the apples..

Tommy Grady - BANOO NOOS!

Aaron Everage - Tommy, you didn't eat the last bunch of bananas I brought home..

Tommy Grady - It's not my fault they became african bananas..

Aaron Everage - That's what happens when they get old..

Tommy Grady - Will I become black when I grow old?

Aaron Everage - No..

Tommy Grady - Then why must the banay nays?

Aaron Everage - Because they were grown to be bought and used quickly..

Tommy Grady - No wonder blacks hold such grudges on us..

Aaron Everage - Blacks aren't bananas, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - You sure? I could have sworn one of them was starting to look like Cordozer..

Aaron Everage - I'm sure, Tommy..

:::Aaron moves down an aisle with potato chips:::

Tommy Grady - CHIPS! YES!

Aaron Everage - What kind do you want?

Tommy Grady - MESQUITOS!

Aaron Everage - Doritos?

Tommy Grady - NO! Mesquitos!..... wait.... yeah, Doritos, that's it..

Aaron Everage - [grabbing a pack of doritos] .. that's another thing off the list..

Tommy Grady - Next up, meet with Chris..

Aaron Everage - That'll have to wait until later tonight, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - What?! We pushed back the match so we can meet up with Chris and now he's bailin' on us?

Aaron Everage - Tommy, how many times do you have to have this explained to you?

Tommy Grady - No explaination needed.. I see where we stand with Chris..

Aaron Everage - Do you even know who Chris is?

Tommy Grady - Yeah..

Aaron Everage - Who is it?

Tommy Grady - A lying, ditching mean stack of bologna sandwich meat with moldy cheese and a light portion of Miracle Whip.. is what he is..

Aaron Everage - No, Tommy.. he's your opponent tonight..

Tommy Grady - You mean there are people who oppose me?

Aaron Everage - That's your job..

Tommy Grady - How can you oppose me? I'm a law abiding citizen..

Aaron Everage - Most of the time..

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA! I only break the law when I'm tatwerk a twerk twerkin' yo mamma with the curtains open.. WHATEVA!

Aaron Everage - That hurts Tommy.. at least pull it off better if you're gonna insult me..

Tommy Grady - Oh, I pull it off alright.. and bust it right on her jugglies..

Aaron Everage - Alright, ya carried it too far, Tommy.. lips sealed, now..

Tommy Grady - No, I carried it onto the bed.. onto the kitchen table.. onto the--

Aaron Everage - [interupting tommy] .. One more word and there'll be no ice cream after your match tonight, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - NO ICE CREAM!?!

Aaron Everage - None!

Tommy Grady - I better hush it..

Aaron Everage - You better..

Tommy Grady - ..know why?

Aaron Everage - .... should I even ask?

Tommy Grady - Cuz I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE cream.. WOOHOO!

Aaron Everage - Do me a favor, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - What can I do you for?

Aaron Everage - Go over and get a WD-40 for me, alright? We need to fix the creaking on the doors.. I'm depending on you.. and by the time you find it and get back here I should be done..

Tommy Grady - But what if I get lost?

Aaron Everage - If you get lost then go to the cash register and I'll meet you there..

Tommy Grady - But what if I get scared?

Aaron Everage - Count to ten..

Tommy Grady - But what if I get to ten and I'm still scared?

Aaron Everage - Count to TWENTY!

Tommy Grady - What if I get to fifteen and can't remember what's next?

Aaron Everage - You should shoot yourself..

Tommy Grady - Suicide is a sin you can't repent from, Aaron.. then I'd go to hell and burn for eternity and I'd never do that to God..

Aaron Everage - Whatever, Tommy.. just go..

Tommy Grady - I don't know if I can do this..

Aaron Everage - Find a bottle of WD40?

Tommy Grady - It's a lot harder than it sounds, Ev! Geez, cut me some slack..

:::Aaron shakes his head and Tommy moves away from him, towards the next aisle. He looks up at the sign and moves on, looking for the correct title above the aisle. He appears satisfied as his eyes light up. He moves down an aisle:::

Tommy Grady - Excuse me.... sir?

Skaggs Employee - Yes?

Tommy Grady - Oh, I'm sorry.. you looked like a guy from behind..

Skaggs Employee - I AM a guy..

Tommy Grady - Oh uh.... right.. hey, do you know where I can find some stuff to make something a little smoother without any eeks or skreeks..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - Like..

Tommy Grady - Well, my friend Aaron told me to come over here and find it..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - OH! I get it.. you naughty boy..

Tommy Grady - Um.. I didn't do anything naughty, did I?

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - So you need something to make the back door smoother..

Tommy Grady - How did you know it was the door?

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - We get a lot of people like you.. [grabs something off the shelf] ..and I suggest to them that the thing that works best for me is this..

Tommy Grady - [taking the box] .. Astroglide? Wait a minute.. I know that dude..

Tommy Grady - CRAAAAWLING IIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIN!

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - No, this is Chris Staggs..

Tommy Grady - Wait a minute.... that just clung a bell in my noggin!

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - I'd let him clung MY bell any day..

Tommy Grady - AARON!

:::Camera cuts back to Aaron. He shakes his head as Tommy is heard yelling his name again. He walks over to the aisle that Tommy is in:::

Aaron Everage - What, Tommy?

Tommy Grady - Didn't you say Chris Braggs before?

Aaron Everage - Staggs..

Tommy Grady - STAGGS! That's it.. this is him, dude! He sponsors the stuff to take the creak from the door! That rules!

Aaron Everage - I said.. WD40, dumbass.. not lubricant..

Tommy Grady - Let's get this instead.. Chris Staggs's head is on it and it says FO SHO!

Aaron Everage - Whateva...

Tommy Grady - FO SHO!

Aaron Everage - Put the lube down, Tommy..

Tommy Grady - ..but..

Aaron Everage - No buts..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - You can use my butt..

Tommy Grady - How come he gets a but and I don't, Aaron?

Aaron Everage - I don't think we're on the same page here..

Tommy Grady - I think I should be able to express my but if I feel like it..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - You can express your but to me..

Aaron Everage - Tommy, we need to go..

Tommy Grady - Let me say my but.. if not to you, to the chick right here..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - I'm a GUY..

Tommy Grady - Oh yeah.. sorry.. this chick right here..

Lesbian Looking Skaggs Employee - GUY!

Tommy Grady - Did I say chick again? I meant to say chick.. damnit.. CHICK.. DAMNIT!

Aaron Everage - Time to check out.. let's go..

Tommy Grady - FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! ALWAYS AARON! AARON AARON AARON! TOMMY NOW! TOMMY TOMMY TOMMY!

Aaron Everage - Tommy..

Tommy Grady - [lowers his head a bit] .... yeah?

Aaron Everage - We need to go..

Tommy Grady - Did I do your favor good for you?

Aaron Everage - ... yes.. you did excellent..

Tommy Grady - WOO HOO!

Aaron Everage - [moving towards the check out] Shall we?

Tommy Grady - [to lesbian looking dude] .. Thanks for your help.. [quietly to aaron] .. that was one weird chick!

Aaron Everage - Here are the keys.. [hands keys to tommy] .. go to the car and get it warm..

Tommy Grady - Should I blow with my mouth wide open on it until it gets warm?

Aaron Everage - No, just turn it on..

Tommy Grady - Dude.. that is so much better than the open mouth idea!

Aaron Everage - ... right..

:::Tommy pats Aaron on the back and makes his way through the line. He makes his way towards the exit and walks through, strutting towards his car. He sticks the key in the keyhole and plops into his seat. He leans over, sticking the key into the ignition and turning the car on. Tommy looks around, talking to himself:::

Tommy Grady - I'm thirsty...... [searching] ... THIRSTY!.... [still searching] ... THIRSTY DAMNIT!

:::Tommy reaches under Aaron's seat and pulls out a flask. His eyes light up:::

Tommy Grady - Aaron drinks out of this all the time. [shakes it] .. there's some left.. thank GOD for wasteful human beings!

:::Tommy pops the cap and takes the last drink until it's gone:::

Tommy Grady - Wow.. [makes a disgusted face] .. this is the worst shiznit I've ever had..

|INTOXICATION|

:::Tommys eyes narrow a bit and he tries to shake it off. He lifts his head to the camera:::

Tommy Grady - I.. [shakes his head] ... I have a .. [shakes his head again] .. Man ..

:::Tommy lowers his head and grabs ahold of it with both hands. Slowly he drops the hands to his side and keeps his head bowed. As his hands reach his side he slowly lifts his head with a demented little smerk on his face:::

Tommy Grady - Gotten a little stronger.. [smerks more, before dropping it].. but I can't be fought away.. I can't be contained. You can't expect someone to out fight me mentally -- or physically. And I think that's something that will be proven later tonight on Adrenaline.. when Chris Staggs puts guts and glory against fight and determination. You have me all wrong.. I don't think Chris Staggs is soft in general. It has just been a common belief that if one is set to compete for a world title one week and turns around the next week to fight the newest addition to a federation -- there might be a little lack of focus. But does that mean it'll be the case? Not at all. The last thing I'll do is walk into the match tonight thinking that I am above defeat. I know I'm not. I know that I need to wrestle a near perfect match to come out victorious and the challenge is one that I'll take pride in.. I know I'll be focused..the only real question is whether you'll be ready or not, Staggs. I just don't believe you have the focus on me right now. Is Hen really worth the words you speak when Tommy Grady is sitting there only hours away from knocking you on your ass? Do you really think that you should even be thinking about Hen at a time like this? The path isn't carved in stone, Staggs.. you still have a few obstacles to surpass to make sure that you even make it to Sudden Immortality.. and it won't be a pushover by any means when the darkness fills the skies of the Rockies.. In the midst of that darkness, Staggs.. you and I will come face to face for the first time.. and you'll be conscious just long enough to realize that you should be mowing lawns, painting houses, or wrestling in IWF.. you'll wish to be anywhere but there.. and I can't blame ya.. but I will hurt ya.. and then I'll beat you.. and when the trainers are examining you, searching to make sure your last brain cell wasn't destroyed throughout the carnage -- I'll be celebrating win number two in SWF and a catapult into the spotlight.. not to mention the absolute joy of sparking only the beginning of your end, my friend!

:::Tommy clicks the heat on full blast:::

Tommy Grady - Only a few hours away now, Staggs.. and I would assume that Staggs isn't the only man I'll be coming face to face with in just a few hours.. I plan to see you, as well, Hunter Tazi. I expect you to try to get your little revenge tactic going. It's a shame I didn't lose that match for you last week, but shit happens.. people screw up.. take your mother, for instance.. she screwed up and look what came of it.. Hoonter Tazi.. But no need to harp on old news -- lets get the latest.. Tazi wanted me to know that it's personal between him. Well, thank you, Hunter.. I didn't know that. I thought that we were just playing pattycake at Sudden Immortality.. well, shucks then, I better get my game face on. Listen, pal -- it was personal with me the day you decided to step up to me. Any man that steps up to me.. looks me straight in the eye with a look of disrespect.. that's personal, my friend. You've crossed that line already. And this next week for you is going to be a complete hell. Knowing that you have the SWF's hottest commodity just days away from impounding your ass back to Canada along with your cheesy accent. We both have bright futures.. like you, I have some respect for your abilities, but the puck stops there. And to say that you are more talented than I am takes the respect notch down one level from two.. but I can't blame you for thinking that. I mean, you're one self centered bastard -- so one shouldn't expect anything other than that from you. I don't take that to heart, though, my friend. I realize the stress you're under to succeed, that's fine. Sometimes stress gets to your head, especially when you're going up against competition like AVIREZ and SilK.. it's obvious that your head is getting a little big for your britches.. and that's fine, Tazi.. canadians have big egos.. that's understood.. you won't be the first foreign psycho mental superstar I've brought back down to reality.. and you certainly won't be the last.. it's just a few days until you pay for your actions, my friend.. you would have been better suited giving your precious Molson's to me as a welcoming gift... instead?... I'll welcome MYSELF with a victory at Sudden Immortality.. over YOU, Tazi.. and it won't be pretty... it'll be simply.. degrading..

:::Suddenly the door opens and Aaron lower his head into the car. He pops the trunk as someone loads the groceries into the back. Tommy loses his concentration and holds his head in a bit of pain once again. He shakes his head and looks as if he's in a distant world for a moment:::

|SOBER|

Aaron Everage - You alright, Tommy?

Tommy Grady - Yeah.. just napping..... I... think I was at least..

Aaron Everage - It's probably best.. big night tonight..

Tommy Grady - Yeah.. Kangaroo Jack opens in theatres!

Aaron Everage - That's not the only thing..

Tommy Grady - OH YEAH! ICE CREAM!

Aaron Everage - ... and?

Tommy Grady - Chris Staggs?

Aaron Everage - Exactly..

Tommy Grady - That's no fun...

Aaron Everage - Taking on washed up competitors screaming for the spotlight never is..

Tommy Grady - He'll be washed up for the match? That's good.. maybe I should wash up, too..

Aaron Everage - No.. I'm talking about him being out of his prime..

Tommy Grady - Prime.. yeah.. prime.. out of it and stuff..

Aaron Everage - [a bit shocked]... you don't know what prime is... do you?

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA! I know it, doo!

Aaron Everage - [shakes his head] ... what'd I get myself into?

Tommy Grady - I guess we'll find out tonight, won't we..

Aaron Everage - Indeed..

Tommy Grady - Yup.. Kangaroo Jack should rock my world!

:::Aaron cracks a smile and shakes his head a little bit as the trunk of his car slams down. He puts the car in reverse and the scene slowly fades out to black:::

...Staggs, we've done all we can do. Said all we can say. Now it's just a matter of doing. It's a matter of backing up the claims and backing up the threats. When you step into the ring and look right into the eyes of Tommy Grady.. you won't see someone at your same IQ.. you'll be looking into the eyes of a fierce competitor. A man that is the future of Superior Wrestling! It's up to you to show that the history is better than the future. It's up to you to prove that you're truly a legend in the SWF. Then again, a loss to Tommy Grady may look bad now.. but when he's holding the SWF World Championship.. it won't look like such a blemish, after all...


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