[swf:025]
[The Pepsi Bong]

05.20.03


...Second chances.. definitely not a bad thing to get. Especially when you've carried an entire division for over a month. Whateva Fo Sho fits that bill. Where would the tag team division be without them? There would have been no respect to the tournament.. there would be no deserving champion.. and there would be no competition. Then Propaganda sprouts the Oreo Connection and we have new tag team champions. Did Grady and Staggs fight for a month, demolishing the tag team division -- for this? To take on a team that did nothing but steer clear of coming together until after the tournament, do nothing to deserve the shot -- then come out on top. Talk about loyalty to their talent. Superior Wrestling made a big no no.. but to correct the mistake.. Whateva Fo Sho gets another shot at their titles. They had to fight through a team to get the shot, something Propaganda never had to do, but they're right back at the door, ready to knock it down and recapture the tag team championship belts. And you better believe that come the end of Adrenaline -- the titles will be in the right set of hands...

:::Scene opens up with the image of a house. The house is sitting in a neighborhood, not even a very nice house. The same house, however, that we have seen Tommy Grady in week after week. The camera cuts to the inside where we see Everage walking through a hall. We scan and see Tommy Grady ducking behind a chair in somewhat darkness. Suddenly Everage passes the chair and Grady leaps out, smacking Everage in the back of the head:::

SMACK!

Tommy Grady - YOU'RE IT!

Aaron Everage - OUCH, YOU FUCKIN DOUCHE BAG!

Tommy Grady - Whoa, dude.. that was REALLY uncalled for..

Aaron Everage - What the hell are you doing?

Tommy Grady - Trying to train, but I guess that's not good enough..

Aaron Everage - You're training by smacking me in the neck?

Tommy Grady - I'm trying to be the tag champion, Ev.. if you don't want to help, then you can just not help or something..

Aaron Everage - A lot of good you're gonna do tagging JD Lawson..

Tommy Grady - I've never had to play tag with him, is he good?

Aaron Everage - He beat you.. for your tag titles..

Tommy Grady - Whateva..

Aaron Everage - No, he did..

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA! HE STOLE THEM! I TAGGED HIM LAST AND HE STILL GOT THE TITLE, WHATEVA!

Aaron Everage - You guys weren't playing tag, you were wrestling, Grady..

Tommy Grady - That's not fair..

Aaron Everage - Yes, Grady.. it is..

Tommy Grady - WHATEVA!

Aaron Everage - You signed a WRESTLING contract.. not a tag contract..

Tommy Grady - But I SUCK at wrestling!.. [tear] .. I.. I just SUCK!

Aaron Everage - Now, Grady.. calm down..

Tommy Grady - I SUCK! I SUCK!

Aaron Everage - Grady, you don't suck!

Tommy Grady - I don't?

Aaron Everage - Well.. a little.. but you're number one contender!

Tommy Grady - My name isn't contender, but thanks for saying I'm number one..

Aaron Everage - NO! You're number one contender to the world title..

Tommy Grady - .............

Aaron Everage - You're going to get a shot at the world title at Survival of the Fittest..

Tommy Grady - FO SHO?!

Aaron Everage - We've gone over this before..

Tommy Grady - I can be champion of the world?

Aaron Everage - If you win at Survival of the Fittest, yes you will..

Tommy Grady - You think I could do a chicken dance after?

Aaron Everage - ....... I guess..

Tommy Grady - You think I could make a speech to the nation?

Aaron Everage - ...... yeah.. sure..

Tommy Grady - I think I could paint all the black people white so I don't get confused?

Aaron Everage - Uh.. no.. I really think that's unlikely..

Tommy Grady - BUT I'LL BE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

Aaron Everage - You'll be Superior Wrestling champion of the world..

Tommy Grady - CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

Aaron Everage - Meaning you are one of several other world champions..

Tommy Grady - YOU JUST POPPED MY BUBBLE, BISH!

Aaron Everage - I'd hate to see you try to color all the black people white.. that would be a sad ordeal..

Tommy Grady - I know.. I'd get all smelly and stuff..

Aaron Everage - GRADY!

Tommy Grady - Oh.. sorry..

Aaron Everage - Now if you wanna train.. lift weights.. playing tag won't help you come Sunday..

Tommy Grady - BUT EV!

Aaron Everage - No buts, Grady..

Tommy Grady - HAHA! You said BUTT!

Aaron Everage - So did you..

Tommy Grady - Oh...

Aaron Everage - I didn't buy that weight set in the garage for no reason, Grady..

Tommy Grady - FINE! OKAY!? YOU WIN! NO MORE GAMES! I'LL GO LIFT WEIGHTS!

Aaron Everage - Why are you yelling?

Tommy Grady - YOU WIN! OKAY?! I LOSE! OKAY?! ... OKAY!?!

Aaron Everage - ..... okay..

Tommy Grady - ALWAYS POOPIN ON MY PARADE!

Aaron Everage - Yup.. that's me.. always poopin..

Tommy Grady - YOU STUPID.... POOPER!

Aaron Everage - Cut that out..

Tommy Grady - Okay..

Aaron Everage - You're lucky you're constantly annoying or else I'd club you with my nine iron..

Tommy Grady - NINE IRONS?! NO!

Aaron Everage - Golf club.. nine iron..

Tommy Grady - Oh, well, that's fine..

Aaron Everage - .............

Tommy Grady - GOLF CLUB?! NO!

Aaron Everage - Well, shut up, then..

Tommy Grady - ONE TWO THREE HUSHPUPPIES!

Aaron Everage - .. now go to the garage..

Tommy Grady - HAHA! I WIN! YOU LOSE!

Aaron Everage - Great..

Tommy Grady - YOU'RE A BIG FAT LOSER!

Aaron Everage - Look at me.. a loser.. now go..

Tommy Grady - I AM looking at you, dude..

Aaron Everage - I realize that..

Tommy Grady - Sorry, but dude.. you are SO stupid sometimes..

Aaron Everage - Coming from you, that's a rather meaningless insult..

Tommy Grady - It SHOULD be..... I think...

Aaron Everage - Are you procrastinating?

Tommy Grady - No.. my arm hurts..

Aaron Everage - You pansy..

Tommy Grady - Wait.. it's okay now.. [falls over and hits the wall] .. OW! DAMNIT! MY ARM!

Aaron Everage - .. that was horrible..

Tommy Grady - [on the ground] .. I KNOW! HOW COULD MY LEGS DO THAT TO ME!

Aaron Everage - I know you're fine, now get up..

Tommy Grady - No.. I'm not.. OW! My arm hurts.. I feel like screaming like your momma does when I go for backdoor entry..

Aaron Everage - You mother fucker..

Tommy Grady - Yes.. I doo whopped your momma!

Aaron Everage - Get the fuck up before I kick your teeth out..

Tommy Grady - [snaps up] .. Ow.. my...... arm..

Aaron Everage - I swear.. one more squeal out of you and you'll wish you were never born..

Tommy Grady - What if I already do?

Aaron Everage - .... then.. you'll wish you never met me..

Tommy Grady - What if I already do?

Aaron Everage - .. uh.. then you'll wish you had a brain..

Tommy Grady - A BRAIN?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

Aaron Everage - ... exactly..

Tommy Grady - FINE! I'll go lift weights, dude..

Aaron Everage - Good.. now go..

:::Grady crosses his arms and pouts as he walks out of the scene. We cut to the garage where a dog is walking around. The door opens and in steps Grady:::

Tommy Grady - HELLO DOGGY DOG!

Doggy Dogg - .............

Tommy Grady - Very NICE, thank you..

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - Now, Doggy Dogg.. you know I don't like it when you talk like that..

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - Yes, I'm lifting weights.. Ev is making me..

Doggy Dogg - [looks at Grady funny, obviously waiting to be petted]

Tommy Grady - No, I haven't give him that look yet.. I'll try it..

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - The puppy dog look, you say?

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - Works good to get bitches, eh?

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - They let ya pound them hard, eh?

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - Wait a minute.. you've lived in the garage.. how did YOU get bitches?

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - You didn't hump any of my girlfriends did you?

Doggy Dogg - ..............

Tommy Grady - YOU SICK DOGGY DOGG!

|ENTER EVERAGE|

Aaron Everage - Who the hell are you.... don't tell me you're talking to the dog again..

Tommy Grady - Nah.. he's talkin to me..

Aaron Everage - Since he can talk and everything..

Tommy Grady - Yeah.. he's pretty quiet around you for some reason..

Aaron Everage - Must not like me..

Tommy Grady - Who does?

Aaron Everage - You want me to go get my nine iron?

Tommy Grady - NOT NINE IRONS!

Aaron Everage - GOLF CLUBS!

Tommy Grady - Oh yeah.. forgot...

Aaron Everage - ............

Tommy Grady - GOLF CLUBS?! NOT GOLF CLUBS!

:::Everage tosses Grady a can that has printed on it "Pepsi" on white paper, taped to the can:::

Aaron Everage - You'll thank me later..

Tommy Grady - PEPSI! SWEET! NEW CANS!

Aaron Everage - ...... yeah.. new cans..

Tommy Grady - WOO HOO!

Aaron Everage - Uh oh.. and looky here.. [pulls out a bong] .. a beer bong.. er.. a pepsi bong..

Tommy Grady - PEPSI BONGS RULE!

Aaron Everage - Yup.. they sure do..

Tommy Grady - BONG! BONG! BONG!

Aaron Everage - Here, bong it, dawg! Prove you're a REAL man..

Tommy Grady - I'm all over that like Michael Jackson on a preschool graduate, yo!

:::Grady puts the hose in his mouth and Everage pores the pepsi into the bong as Grady chugs it:::

Aaron Everage - How was it?

Tommy Grady - [drops hose] .. didn't taste like Pepsi..

Aaron Everage - That's cuz you were chugging it..

Tommy Grady - OH.. aight.. cool!

:::Grady drops to a knee and curls into a ball for a moment. He lifts his head and shakes it:::

|INTOXICATION|

Aaron Everage - You alright?

Tommy Grady - Fan-fuckin-tastic..

Aaron Everage - Good to hear..

Tommy Grady - Good to be let out of that retarded corpse..

Aaron Everage - Actually you're still in it..

Tommy Grady - FUCK you..

Aaron Everage - Fine then..

Tommy Grady - You wanna act like you know something? How about you act like you know this.. Sunday on Adrenaline.. I get a shot to retain the title that belongs to me. And the fact that Staggs is a 24-7 short bus retard plays very minimal into the equation. He can wrestle special.. but me.. I wrestle like a man. I wrestle with the no holds barred. Lawson, you may have defeated us once.. you may have pinned those shoulders of Chris Staggs down to the mat, but the fact of the matter remains that this Sunday -- you'll have to do it again. And I know you can't.. I know that because you've had a long and illustrious career in the wrestling world you find that hard to swallow.. that's fine.. it must run in the family, because your mother was the same way. When you take a step back and get a good look at everything going on, I think it's quite obvious to see that I am on top of this federation. Number one contender to the world title.. number one contender to the tag titles.. and I haven't even been around long. Within the next month and a half I'm going to be world champion.. and tag champion.. while you sit on your thumb and play with your little national title like it means a damn thing. Wake up call, my friend -- it doesn't. What does matter is what you've achieved in the past.. but it matters as history.. not the present. And if you think your reputation can carry you to victory over the hottest young star in the wrestling industry.. well.. you've got a big whopper coming out of the corner of your eye ready to knock you back down that ladder you've managed to climb in your short tenure with Superior Wrestling. There's no doubt in my mind that the fact you're JD Lawson got you a shot at my tag title to begin with.. there's no doubt in my mind that when Harris was obviously going to drop the national title -- the SWF staff chose you to catch it. You're JD fuckin LAWSON for Christ's sake.. God of all that is holy and unholy.. the creator of JDTV.. the former FWF world heavyweight champion.. all bow down. How about I just bend back so you can lick my nuts. I don't give a shit who you are.. what you achieved.. what you WILL achieve.. that doesn't matter to me, my friend. All that DOES matter to me is the fact that this Sunday.. on Adrenaline.. my titles are hanging from the ceiling of the Pepsi Center.. and Whateva Fo Sho will take on Propaganda.. you're my only loss I have avenged, slim dick. And though I wasn't the man with my shoulders to the mat.. I won't rest easy until that notch on my belt is relieved.. and as for the chocolately crisp of the oreo connection.. Cordozer.. is there really anything to say to you? You've been grasping every so tightly to the coat tail of Lawson for so long that you must not realize where it's led you to. Can't argue with you.. you saw your only opportunity to reach the top of a federation and you hung on for dear life. But the path reaches a dead end Sunday.. then what. You have no title.. while Lawson dissipates into singles activity.. and you have nothing. Just like you started.. is it really that much of a reward for you? You better get ready to rock this Sunday or else it's going to be the end of you.. the end of Propaganda.. and most of all.. the end of your reign as tag team champions..

Aaron Everage - PREACH ON BROTHA!

Tommy Grady - We aren't in a southern church, bitch.. shut the fuck up..

Aaron Everage - I was just--

Tommy Grady - Bein a JACK--.. jack..

:::Suddenly appears to be choking. He covers his throat and coughs a couple times, dropping onto a knee. He stumbles back up to his feet shaking his head:::

|SOBER|

Aaron Everage - You alright, man?

Tommy Grady - I....

Aaron Everage - It's okay..

Tommy Grady - That..

Aaron Everage - Take your time.

Tommy Grady - That.. TOTALLY just rocked my world..

Aaron Everage - Wha-- [disappointed sigh]..

Tommy Grady - WOOOOOOOOO!

Aaron Everage - Shut up..

Tommy Grady - PEPSI BONGS RULES!

Aaron Everage - SHUT UP!

Tommy Grady - You're just jealous you didn't get to bong a Pepsi, bish..

Aaron Everage - That's it..

Tommy Grady - I know..

Aaron Everage - Since it's MY bong and all..

Tommy Grady - I know, isn't it crazy? Jealousy is weird..

Aaron Everage - You're an idiot..

Tommy Grady - Nope..

Aaron Everage - That wasn't a question..

Tommy Grady - Yup..

Aaron Everage - What?

Tommy Grady - Word, yo..

Aaron Everage - You make NO fucking sense..

Tommy Grady - Duh! Cents are made in Washington DC, dude.. you really need to buy a clue..

Aaron Everage - What?

Tommy Grady - You're not very smart, are you?

Aaron Everage - Oh my.. oh my.. I think I'm going to lose it..

Tommy Grady - Lose what? We can look for it together..

Aaron Everage - ...............

Tommy Grady - Family project..

Aaron Everage - ................

Tommy Grady - It'll be FUN!

Aaron Everage - If you don't shut up.. RIGHT NOW.. I will have you nuts on a stick..

Tommy Grady - GROSS DUDE!

Aaron Everage - SHUT UP!

Tommy Grady - YOU'RE GROSS!

Aaron Everage - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Tommy Grady - Whoa.. fine.. speaking of panties in a wad..

Aaron Everage - WHAT?!

Tommy Grady - Uh.. I was just saying my panties are in a wad..... sir..

Aaron Everage - .... you're the biggest idiot I've ever met, Grady..

Tommy Grady - I'M NOT BIG! I'm fat boned..

Aaron Everage - ...........

Tommy Grady - Fo SHO!

Aaron Everage - I think I'm going to go kill myself..

Tommy Grady - DON'T! THEN YOU CAN NEVER REPENT AND YOU'LL GO TO HELL!

Aaron Everage - So be it..

Tommy Grady - NOOOOOOOOO!

Aaron Everage - I'M NOT REALLY GOING TO! SHUT UP! GEEZ!

Tommy Grady - Don't lie to be, dude.. that's messed up..

Aaron Everage - Whatever..

Tommy Grady - FO SHO!

Aaron Everage - AAAAAAAAH!

:::Everage busts through the door back into the house and Grady stares on. He shrugs a bit and walks over to the weight bench. He gives his dog a little pat on the head before laying down on the bench and preparing to lift weights. The camera slowly scans over to the door and fades to black:::

...You one-uped Whateva Fo Sho once.. don't count on it happening again. Ladder match, Adrenaline.. my friends you're going to see a whole new world that is not only foreign to you.. but it's much.. much BETTER than you. Keep your petty insults to yourself.. actually, spew them if you'd like. Fact of the matter is that when Adrenaline comes to an end Sunday.. there will be new tag team champions.. you can bet your bottom dollar...


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