Vintage fans, rub your eyes. Wake up from that damned snooze you have been forced into with the lack of quality entertainment in this profession. No longer is the wrestling world a continuous string of boredom. That's correct, da Brocksta has returned to the industry. And no longer is he whoring around, OH NO! Your former Young Sexy Gun and current Suprema Sex-A is stable and content in his current position. One third owner of Superior Wrestling.. and most notably.. heavy favorite to win Remembrance. Heavy favorite by WHOM, you ask? By himself, of course. That's all that matters. Do you think some column writer factors into the equation? Do you think some know it all washed up has been knows a lick about da Brocksta? NO! HE DOES NOT! Nor will he ever. And just as dogs hump in heat, so TOO.. will da Brocksta rumble bumble.. AND stumble to be crowned SWF Remembrance champion.. don't be confused. Your Suprema Sex-A has not turned his attention towards hip hop, just yet. He's just that talented to where he can make three words in a row rhyme. And just as that talent is obvious, the oozing talent from my wrestling career is rather undeniable in the same sense. The same men that stand in my way now are the same men that once did. JD Lawson, the King of Stubborn Chodes.. and for those who are curious as to just where that is, well -- it's right off of NOBODY CARES BEACH! Get it? I called him a beach.. and it sounds like another word...... BISH! No, your Suprema Sex-A hasn't gotten more clever. I've been this clever all along.. you just didn't quite notice it until now. Shame on you overlookers. SHAME ON YOU! You deserve hot oily wax poured down your front side.. either that or convince the Hen that giving you a golden shower would make him more powerful.. Ya'know I sit here and gaze at the matchups and I see familiar face after familiar face. Almost brings a tear to my eye. Followed closely by a dry heave with the likes of people like $traight Money.. people who were supposed to be my friend.. but became so captivated with themselves that things that were truly important escaped their general perspective. No worries. No grudges. And da Brocksta will have no shame in taking out Jason Starr for the fifth time in his career.. or stepping nose to nose with Justin Sane once again.. this is a clean slate. Remembrance will truly be an event to remember. Not only for the fans, but for your Suprema Sex-A, as well.
Scene opens with an image of the NASA space station. There is a ruckus across the area as many people are there to see a launch, of some sort. We do a lightning quick snap over the building and to the backside where we see a shuttle a good distance away from the station. It has an iron walkway to the shuttle and we do another lightning quick snap onto that runway. There we see a fantastic sight. Yes, folks.. we see the Suprema Sex-A -- Brock Williams. There he stands, seemingly collecting his thoughts as he stares down towards the ground. He has his orange jumpsuit that an astronaut would wear. He is stretching his arms as if preparing for battle as a man walks up, dressed in much the same attire. He looks into the eyes of da Brocksta briefly as Brock takes a deep sigh
Intercom - Astronauts, please report to the deck..
NASA General - Welp, Mr. Williams.. Sputnik is old, and talented..
Brock Williams - This I know, NASA dude..
NASA General - He will be quite the opponent.. especially being Russian..
Brock Williams - STUPID GERMANS!
NASA General - Russians, Brock.. Russians..
Brock Williams - STUPID NAZIS!
NASA General - ... Brock, it is tradition that we take a picture before you board the shuttle..
Brock Williams - One final picture for women everywhere to masturbate to..
NASA General - pulls out camera Uh.. right...
Please wait until post promo to masturbate
NASA General - Why do you look so damn giddy?
Brock Williams - I'm back.. who WOULDN'T be giddy about that?
NASA General - Right.. well, do you have everything prepared for takeoff?
Brock Williams - Everything is ready, sir..
NASA General - I salute you!
Brock Williams - I love you too..
NASA General - No, I salute you, Brock..
Brock Williams - Oh.. SALUTE.. alright.. uh..
NASA General - Meaning I honor you..
Brock Williams - Oh, I get it.. I've always wondered what the Southern Illinois Salukis were..
NASA General - No.. SALUTE..
Brock Williams - Salukis?
NASA General - SALUTE!
Brock Williams - Oh.. I'm not a big Saluki fan, sir.. I'd rather not salute them.. plus I'm catholic..
NASA General - .. It's a shame you're heading off to space..
Brock Williams - I must do this for Superior Wrestling.. when I return.. Sputnik will be defeated.. and I will be in round two!
NASA General - You're doing quite a deed, sir..
Brock Williams - DAMN THOSE GERMANS!
NASA General - .. Russians..
Brock Williams - DAMN THOSE GERMANS!
NASA General - ... alright.. you ready?
Brock Williams - GLADIATORS READYYYYY?
NASA General - .. is that a yes?
Brock Williams - I was born ready, baby!
NASA General - Good luck, sir..
Brock Williams - Luck? HA! Luck is for.............. luckers.... er..
NASA General - .............
Brock Williams - PEACE OUT!
NASA General - Goodbye, sir..
Lovely Whoa-man - WAIT!
Slow motion. Titties bounce. She reaches da Brocksta
Lovely Whoa-man - I won't let you go..
Brock Williams - My lady friend, whose name escapes me.. I must.. it is to save this world from absolute boredom..
Lovely Whoa-man - But, Brock --
Brock Williams - SSSSHH!
Lovely Whoa-man - Brock--
Brock Williams - SSSSHH!
Lovely Whoa-man - BROCK--
Brock Williams - SSSSHH!
Lovely Whoa-man - Quit--
Brock Williams - SSSSSHH!
Lovely Whoa-man - FINE! GO!
Brock Williams - Okay..
Lovely woman walks away without looking back
Brock Williams - DON'T LOOK BACK! DON'T EVER LOOK BACK!
Intercom - Astronauts please report to your final positions..
Brock Williams - That's me..
NASA General - That's you..
Brock Williams - Hefner?
NASA General - YOU, Brock.. You..
Brock Williams - Oh.. that's me..
NASA General - Right..
Brock Williams - loud sigh Here I go.. GOODBYE WORLD! When I return..
NASA General - Uh.. you already did this sooo.. uh.. how bout you just hop on the shuttle..
Brock Williams - Shucks.. so much for dramatic effect, eh?
The NASA general shrugs and Brock turns around towards the shuttle he begins to trotting away and suddenly a man walks up to the general as we see Brock continuing towards the shuttle
NASA Agent - The process is complete..
NASA General - Good.. we'll be rid of Brock for good..
NASA Agent - HAHA!
NASA General - MWAHAHAHA!
NASA Agent - HA.. HA HA!
NASA General - MWAHAHAHA!
NASA Agent - GOODBYE BROCK!
NASA General - Have fun battling the SPUTNIK! HAHA! IDIOT!
Intercom - Prepare for takeoff.. 3... 2.... 1....
NASA Agent - ADIOS!
NASA General - SIGNORA!
The NASA general takes off his hat and looks up to reveal himself fully for the first time, as the NASA Agent does the same
Ben Affleck - Who are the sexiest men alive now? HUH?
Matt Damon - WE ARE!
Ben Affleck - high fives damon Mission accomplished..
Brock Williams - What's accomplished?
Damon and Affleck turn around, stunned
Brock Williams - That's right.. the game is over!
Ben Affleck - .. but HOW?!
Brock Williams - You quit trying to take me out, Affleck! You stop now..
Ben Affleck - BUT I WAS SO CLOSE!
Brock Williams - And you almost got me.. but thanks to an old friend.. I survive again..
Ben Affleck - NOOOOO!
Voice - YOU HOO!
Ben Affleck - ... no..
Voice - BEN! OH BEN! HOW LOVELY TO SEE YOU!
Ben Affleck - ... no.. please no..
The camera scans over to show the image we all were afraid we would see -- forced to sit because of abnormal weight
Jim Harper - You haven't called, Ben!
Brock Williams - That's right.. Jim Harper has saved my life!
Ben Affleck - DAMN YOU, HARPER!
Jim Harper - Let's celebrate with a shower, Benny! You can drop your soap again, eh? *EL OH EL*
Ben Affleck - NOOO!
Matt Damon - Holy smokes, Benny-booger..
Ben Affleck - Don't call me that on camera.. You've won this time, Brock.. BUT THIS ISN'T THE LAST YOU'LL SEE OF ME!
Ben runs away with a maniacal laugh as Matt slowly runs to catch up
Jim Harper - Ah shoot.. I thought this was my chance..
Brock Williams - Thanks for saving me, J-dawg..
Jim Harper - No probliemo..
Brock Williams - You'll capture Ben one day..
Jim Harper - I just don't understand, Brock.. I thought he LIKES fat asses..
Brock Williams - I think he likes big booties..
Jim Harper - Looks at THIS?
Brock Williams - NO!
Jim Harper - LOOK AT IT! shakes his ass PWEASE!
Brock Williams - I thought we had a deal, J-dawg.. wassup wit dat?
Jim Harper - You're right.. I need to control my hormones..
Brock Williams - Good.. now stay that way..
Jim Harper - MEN! MEN! MEN!
Brock Williams - JIM!
Jim Harper - Sowwy.. *EL OH EL* .. I looked at that rocket taking off and it reminded me of my rocket taking off.. *EL EM EH OH*
Brock Williams - You have a rocket?!
Jim Harper - Do I ever!
Brock Williams - Forget it.. I must focus.. focus on defeating Sputnick.. Remembrance is my chance to make everyone forget I'm a whore..
Voice - We can help..
Brock Williams - Good gosh, snead bra.. Ron Jeremy and..... the future.. Henry Pazos..
Ron Jeremy - That's right, Brock.. we come from the future.. to stop you from once again becoming the whore you once were..
Brock Williams - What a relief.. what do you plan to do?
Henry - Gimme huggles..
Brock Williams - Why'd you bring him?
Henry - HUGGLES!
Ron Jeremy - We work together..
Brock Williams - Henry is in the porn industry?
Henry - I'm a lifeguard.. that's why I'm not fat anymore.. BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
Brock Williams - What?
Ron Jeremy - Don't be a whore, Brock..
Brock Williams - Is that it?
Ron Jeremy - Don't be a whore and you must jump into a pool and cleanse yourself of your whoreness..
Brock Williams - But I can't swim..
Henry - I'll save you.. I'm a lifeguard..
Brock Williams - You're right.. I must cleanse myself.. and Henry can save me.. but.. but I don't have a pool..
Ron Jeremy - LUCKILY -- There's a space simulating pool inside.. follow me..
Henry - I will save you!
Brock Williams - I heard you the first time, weirdo..
Jim Harper - Hello Henry..
Henry - AH! MEMORIES!
Ron Jeremy - We must go to the pool.. QUICKLY!
Pictures spins out, then back forward and we're in the pool room
Ron Jeremy - Now dive head first.. and swim to the middle.. if you drown, Henry will save you..
Henry - I'M A LIFEGUARD!
Brock Williams - That's sad..
Jim Harper - Be careful, Brock -- I'm scared for you..
Ron Jeremy - Shut up, Harper..
Henry - Yeah!
Brock Williams - Here goes nothing..
Ron Jeremy - JUMP!
Henry - JUMP!
Jim Harper - Wait a minute..
Harper grabs the hair of Jeremy and snags the hair off of his head. The entire face comes off and there stands Ben Affleck
Jim Harper - I'd recognize that meat packed, perfectably plumped ass ANYWHERE!
Ben Affleck - DAMN YOU HARPER! DAMN YOU!
Jim Harper - And you must be......
Harper rips off the mask of the future Henry
Brock Williams - AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS IT?! AN ANGRY BUG?!
Jim Harper - ... I haven't seen something that big since I looked in the mirror last!
Ben Affleck - Wait.. what happened to Matt?
Henry - I ATE HIM!
Ben Affleck - NOOOOOOOO!
Ben runs away like a feminine squirrel
Brock Williams - .............
Jim Harper - .............
Henry - I'M A LIFEGUARD!
Brock and Harper look at eachother. Brock turns and begins to quickly make his way out of there as Henry grabs ahold of Harper..
Jim Harper - Don't rape me! Don't rape me, please..... FINE! HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME!
Henry - What? No.. don't touch me there.. NO!
Jim Harper - You want it.. you got it..
Henry - NOOOOOOOOO!
Scene cuts to the outside where Brock dives into his limousine. He closes the door and locks it quickly as the camera cuts to the inside of the limo. Brock is out of breath as the limo driver begins to drive. Brock shakes his head a bit before looking up into the lense of the camera
Brock Williams - Yet another escape has been made.. why must I be cursed so sexy.. WHY?! I know.. because I carry it with pride, right? Yeah... yeah.. that's it. And don't question it, beyotch.. you know it's true. But now you get what you've all been waiting for.. for years.. er.. a year.. a long long time! And that's a one on one with your Suprema Sex-A.. da Brocksta.. that Young.. Sexy.. Gun.. Brock Williams. And here we go. The trip is set for take off.. buckle up, make sure your trays are in the up right position.. put away your vomit bags from the likes of Ricky Conway and Andrew Davis.. true perfection has entered. Not only your television monitor, my friends -- but your heart. That's right, da Brocksta has returned to the wrestling industry. Not only to compete once more, but to compete for gold. Gold is something yours truly hasn't seen too much of in his long tenure in this industry. FWF World Heavyweight champion, yeah yeah. In a sense, you could say that. Everything da Brocksta has won.. has been taken from him shortly after in some form of a screwjob event. Cyberslam 2000, for instance. The Suprema Sex-A enters world heavyweight champion.. nears victory -- Justin Goldman SCREWS da Brocksta.. and takes the title himself. Yet I continued.. that's right, da Brocksta did not give up. Brief history lesson, but snap back to reality. The present. Da Brocksta stands before you.. prepared and ready to head into Remembrance.. and capture that title that slipped from his grasp far too soon.. so we step back into the batters box with La Femme Nikita stepping up.. is this a dude, or a lady? Or a dude looks like a lady.. ya know, frankly I don't give two tonka turds if it's NRG's man-child.. all I know is that Sputnik got launched into a situation that is absolutely as detrimental as it gets. I mean, you get a legend.. not only that, but you get a man with the most stunning physical attributes available for the eye to see. A sort of eye candy, per say. You should be honored to be able to look eye to eye with me.. without paying.. then again, you certainly WILL pay, I suppose. Pay with your health.. pay with your ability.. and pay with your self respect, which will be relentlessly tarnished at the hands of yours truly.. when your Suprema Sex-A puts a whoppin' on you.. you want a comparison? You got one. Today I walked into my kitchen.. for a Ho Ho.. the cupcake, not your mother.. BUDDA BING!........ yeah, well I set it down for two seconds and I look down.. and guess what's on my Ho Ho.. an ant! Now this ant wasn't the biggest ant.. wasn't the smartest ant.. but it didn't hide. It didn't back down. It wanted my damn cupcake.. but no way.. UH UH! I wasn't giving up my Ho Ho by ANY means! This meant war, my friend. This meant relentless war. I immediately flicked that ant off the top of my cupcake and he slammed into the wall. And as he returned.. I smashed my fist down.. crushing him and his dreams of eating my Ho Ho. Now listen, Ho.. you, as the ant, have the same objective.. and that being -- beating me to my final goal. And Sputnik, my fare weathered fellow -- you WILL be crushed at the hands of da Brocksta.. you will get a taste of the Young.. Sexy.. Gun.. and when your hopes blow up for the entire industry to see like the career of $traight Money did so long ago.. you'll get a taste of failure.. and by God, I'm gonna make you like it..
Brock looks out the window for a moment before taking a sip of a drink in front of him
Brock Williams - Remembrance will be a grand event, my friends. FWF of old, brought together once more. Competitors of old, competing in the same place again. An event that may never reoccur. So let's make the most of it, eh? Da Brocksta will go down as the last FWF World Heavyweight champion.. da Brocksta will win Remembrance.. and most importantly.. your Suprema Sex-A will forever remain the sexiest man to ever set foot inside of the ring. That's right.. I win.. you lose. Don't deny it.. because it WILL happen.. OH YES, my friend.. and that ain't a promise.. haha.. OH NO! It's a guaran... DAMN.. tee..
You speak yo mind, Brocksta! Oh yeah. These men best realize that you are the Suprema Sex-A.. and you speak the truth. Forget the lies of the past, and focus in on the current state. The current mind set. The Suprema Sex-A turns his eyes towards the window, putting his sunglasses onto his nose as the scenary reflects off of them. The scene slowly fades out to black
ThIs MeSsAgE hAs BeEn BrOuGhT tO yOu By: